I DON'T OWN W.I.T.C.H OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY! PLEASE DON'T SUE ME! ALSO, THIS IS GONNA BE SLIGHTLY AU, BUT AS I SAID BEFORE: I DON'T OWN W.I.T.C.H! THIS IS AN IRMA/PHOBOS PAIRING STORY! EXPLAINS THE AU STORY, BUT I DON'T OWN W.I.T.C.H!


TORN

CHAPTER 3: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WILL:


Prince Phobos frowned, sitting in the waters of his private bathing pool. "The waters don't refresh my powers as they once did!" He clenched his fist. "The life force of this city won't last forever. The need to find my sister has never been greater! 13 years...when they took her, she hadn't even been named!" Cedric kneeled in front of his prince. "I could find where they keep the birth records of the Earth city."

"Good. If we know who was born there, we can narrow our search to those who were not."


Will stepped out of her mom's car, and Susan looked over at her, a large smile on her face. "Honey, are you sure you don't want to invite just 25 or 30 of your closest friends over?"

"No, Mom. Not even 25 or 30."

"Okay, birthday girl. But remember, no matter how old you get, you'll always be my pink purpy poopy pumpkin!" Will grimaced as her mom drove off.


Irma grinned over at Will, who had a look of major indifference on her face. "So, it's your birthday!"

"Friday. Promise you won't do anything stupid like trying to throw me a surprise birthday party or something like that."

Irma clapped her hands, obviously excited. "I love surprise parties!" Will glared at her, and she quickly amended this with, "By that, of course, I mean, I utterly hate and despise them."


Taranee stared down at her carrot rather distastefully. "Does this look cooked to you?" Cornelia groaned, setting down her glass of water. "Taranee, it's a carrot! The only way it can harm you is if you're mugged by rabbits!" Just then, Irma set down her tray, looking around at Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin. "Guess who's birthday it is Friday!"

Hay Lin gasped with excitement. "I know! I know! Uh...I don't know." Taranee stuck a pea right in front of Cornelia's nose, and Cornelia sighed. "For crying out loud, it's a pea! Eat it!"

"It's Will's birthday Friday."

Hay Lin grinned at this news. "Are you gonna throw her a birthday party?!" Irma shook her head. "No. She made me promise not to." Irma gasped, suddenly remembering something. "Oh, I've gotta warn her about the fish, 'cause I think this was breaded when they caught it! Hey, Will! Pink purpy poopy pumpkin!"

The entire cafeteria broke out into gales of laughter, and Will just hung her head as Irma ran over, oblivious to the damage she'd caused. Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin started talking. Naturally, Cornelia was the first to speak. "We have to throw Will a party!"

"Weren't you listening? Irma promised she wouldn't."

Cornelia shrugged at Hay Lin's words. "Okay. Then Irma won't. But we will!"


They walked through the corridors, gossiping about the plans for the secret party. "See, this way, we're giving Irma what she wants, a party for Will. And, she doesn't have to break her promise!"

Hay Lin frowned, puzzled by this. "But Will didn't want a party!"

Cornelia waved this off. "Believe me, when she sees the party I throw, she'll be too jazzed to remember what she said. Hay Lin, you pick a theme and do the decorations. Now, we just need a place to hold it!"

Taranee tilted her head, confused. "Uh, why not your place?"

Cornelia stopped dead in her tracks at this. "Uh, problem. My last party was so unbelievably great, my parents say I can't have another one until I leave home."


"So, Caleb. You are gonna learn all about parties."

Caleb scowled at Cornelia's words. "We have parties on Meridian! To celebrate the end of Klunderfeast, we cook and eat an ox!"

Cornelia bit her lip, not sure how to respond. "Uh...we won't be doing that here. Hey, girls!" Cornelia and Hay Lin walked over to Elyon and Alchemy. "Party Friday, 5 o'clock, Irma's house!" Cornelia exclaimed. "It's Will's birthday!"

"It's a surprise, so don't tell Will. Or Irma." Elyon looked puzzled at this. "But...isn't the party at Irma's house?" Alchemy heard a smash, and saw Caleb smashing the mall's phone against its holder.

"Well, that's what makes it a surprise, silly!"

"They're not even roasting an ox."


Uriah, Kurt, and Clubber sped through the mall on skateboards, stopping in front of the small group. "Hey, how come Kurt, Clubber, and me didn't get invited to this party of yours?"

Cornelia put her hands on her hips. "Because I'm not inviting creeps. Oh, I'm sorry. Creeps, Caleb. Caleb, Creeps." With that, she and the other girls walked off, leaving Caleb behind as he hesitated for a few seconds. "Please to meet you. Are you related?" With that, he followed Cornelia and Hay Lin.

"I say we teach them a lesson! Remember that horror movie where the kids are terrified by guys in masks?"

"Where are we gonna find scary guys in masks?"


Caleb laughed, looking over his shoulder. "Those are your tough guys!? I'd like to see them last one second in a Skuldorian Scream Cage." Cornelia placed her hands on her hips, and began chewing him out. "Caleb, you're a guest in this dimension. You can't go all Rebel leader on us! Promise me!"

Caleb began to pout, and Hay Lin giggled, "He's so cute when he sulks!"


Cornelia grinned. "Guess what the theme is!"

Taranee lifted an eyebrow, not knowing how to respond. "Uh...the color you turn when you throw up?"

"Hello!? Haven't you ever looked at Will's backpack? Her pencil case? And the dangly thing on her hat?!"

Taranee shook her head. "I guess not attentively enough."

"She's got frogs on them! She likes frogs! So, frog party! Tell me, are you loving it!?" Cornelia's little sister, Lillian, smirked at this. "It looks like somebody hurled on the wall." Cornelia ignored Lillian, grabbed Taranee wrist and dragged her over to a small sink. "And, voila! The snack pond!"

"That's my wading pool! You can't have it!"

"Quiet, or I'll shave your teddy bear."

Lillian gasped at her sister's threat, and hugged her bear closer to her.

"Okay, you're making floating lilypad cupcakes with flies made out of raisins! And you've gotta meet both girls at the school and make sure they're not dressed like total pigs. But without them figuring out why."

"Uh...how am I supposed to do that?!"

"You're smart, you figure it out!"


"Uh, Grandma, you said you had something to show me?" Hay Lin asked nervously as Yan Lin held out a scroll. "What's that, the world's oldest placemat?"

"No, Hay Lin. This was once part of a great map hanging on Prince Phobos's wall. Years ago, a soldier, tired of serving the evil prince, tore off very important piece of Phobos's map, the part showing our world, and escaped. He gave the map to a Passling, one who moves between worlds. And so, it came to me. In our world, the map is blank, unless activated by the Heart of Kandrakar, currently held by our friend Will."

"Why wait 'till now to give me this?" Hay Lin's eyes widened, and she gasped. "Is it 'cause my powers are finally mature enough that I'm worthy?"

Yan Lin shook her head. "Nah. It was in the attic. I couldn't find it. Found my old tennis racket, too. Fore!"


"We've got to get Will something for her birthday!" Blunk watched Caleb pace back and forth anxiously while Caleb mulled it over. "In Meridian, I'd get her the customary chicken-skin hat! Well...Earth girls do like the stuff that smells in tiny bottles."

"Blunk have smelly in bottle! Gargoyle sweat!"


Taranee saw Will and Irma talking together just outside the school. She took a deep breath and ran over to them. "Hey, girls! Guess what? Boyzilla is playing a free concert at the mall!"

"You're kidding! Let's go!"

"But they're only letting in the hundredth best-dressed girls. I got us these outfits so you don't look like total pigs." Will and Irma glared at her. "Come on, let's change!"


Officer Lair opened the door to see Cornelia and Hay Lin standing there. "Hi, Officer Lair! Irma isn't home, right! Great! Come on in, guys!" He just stood there as a group of teens with boxes of decorations and pizza boxes filed into his house.


"Let's stop at Irma's house," Taranee suddenly said, "I have to use the bathroom." Will spoke up. "My place is closer."

"Yeah, but I can't use your bathroom...because it's not on the ground floor! I have a rare fear of high toilets."


When they arrived at Irma's place, Taranee turned to face Will, looking still nervous. "Can you guys go to the kitchen through the living room and get me a big glass of water?" As the door opened, both Will and Irma when at least 20 people stood in front of them for the surprise party Cornelia had set up for Will.

Will gasped, glaring at Irma. "You promised!" Cornelia ran over to them and threw her arms around the two girls. "Can you believe Irma didn't wanna throw you a birthday party just because you told her not to?! Gimme 13 hugs, birthday girl!" All Cornelia got from Will was her famous "Death Glare".


During all this, Cedric had created a portal to pass through, and turned into human form. "Surprise."


"I can't believe you did this!" Will crossed her arms, glaring at Irma. "Me?! I had nothing to do with it!"

Just then, Irma's stalker, Martin, popped in front of them. "Hey, thanks for inviting me, sweety-lips."

Irma began seething with frustration as she spotted him standing there. "I didn't invite you! I didn't invite anyone! And don't you ever call me sweety-lips!"

Martin didn't quite seem to take the hint for him to leave. "I, uh, didn't wanna say anything in front of the others, but there were flies on your cupcakes. Don't worry. I pulled them off." He put one in his mouth. "Oh, they're just raisins. I'll put them back. They were in my pocket."


Cedric reverted back into his snake form, and knocked the door to City Hall, gliding through.


"Blunk help with gift! Blunk go inside!"

Caleb glared at Blunk. "No way! They've got enough frogs in there as it is! They have strange customs here! A guy's putting flies on little cakes." That caused Blunk to lick his lips. "Sound good!"


Caleb strode through the living room, sipping on some punch, when Alchemy popped up behind him. "Hi. Remember me; Alchemy; from the mall?"

"Remember me too? I'm Elyon!"

"Caleb, from the mall." Cornelia walked over at that point, rescuing Caleb's unknowing neck. "Back off, girls! Stick with me, or they're-ll tear you to pieces.


Irma spotted her dad coming downstairs, and her face went whiter than a sheet. "Dad, no!"

"I just need the remote!"

"I don't throw parties while you and Mom are out of town, and you do not embarrass me while you are in town."


"Look, it's Will! As-as-a kinda fairy or something."

"You're so talented!"

"It's carved from driftwood. The wings are made from dragon scales." Will let out long, loud rip of laughter. "He doesn't mean real dragon scales."

"Sure I do!"


Hay Lin looked out the window and saw Blunk hopping up and down just outside. "Oh, poor Blunky."

Martin flopped down on the couch next to her, and looked over at her. "What'cha doing, Hay Lin?"

"It's just an old family custom! You, uh, throw the food out the window and make a wish!"

"Really?" Martin stacked a lot of food onto a plate, then threw it out the window.


"And the more food you throw out, the bigger the wish." Hay Lin winced, wishing she'd never encountered Martin by all that was holy on this Earth.


"When do we do it?"

"We do it when I say we do it!"

"Sure thing, Uriah. When are you gonna say we do it?"


Hay Lin and Irma were scraping off leftovers from the into the trash when Irma's dad's radio went off. "Hey, Tom, it's probably just a prank, but we got a call about some kinda lizard monster down at City Hall. Can you pop over there and check it out?"

"Lizard monster..." Irma gasped. "If it's that thing from Meridian, my Dad can get hurt! Get the girls!"


Irma's mom sighed. "I remember when we got to go to all of her little parties."

"Mom, Dad, some of us are going for pizza. Can you keep the party going until we get back?!"

Her parents's faces lit up, and Irma semi-winced. "Are you kidding!? I'm a party animal! Hey, remember when I gave donkey rides for your 4th birthday?"

Now Irma really was grimacing. "Dad, please, don't talk me out of this.


"What good is a map that doesn't show anything?" Hay Lin turned to look at Irma. "She said it was activated by the crystal." Will took out the Heart of Kandrakar, and the map lit up. "Hey, that's our school, and the alley behind the mall."

"The first two portals!"

"Uh-oh. There's a third one. Where's this?" Hay Lin frowned. "We're standing in it. It's City Hall Park."

"Maybe we should call the police?" Taranee asked nervously. Will scowled. "For this kind of problem, we are the police."

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"Guardians, unite!" This caused the girls to all transform into their Guardian forms. "All right, anyone want lizard on their pizza?"


"These are ancient! The girl is only in her teens! I need more recent records!" Cedric pried open a door, and smirked.


"Why don't we just take the elevator?" Taranee asked. "You mean the elevator with the 'ding' like a microwave inside we're ready to eat?" Will smiled at her. "Ugh, you're right. Let's fly up."


"What does a big nasty lizard want with birth records?"


"Maybe Blunk too pretty to scare boys."

"I'll risk it."

"Dude, is that like a big green monkey?"

Blunk let out a small roar, and Uriah and his gang ran off screaming. "And don't come back!" Blunk looked up, and spotted Cedric at that moment, and began screaming as well.


"The only thing missing is female birth records from about 13 years ago." Just then, the Guardians heard a roar coming from the lobby. "The lobby!"


"What are you doing on this side of the Veil, smuggler?"

"Retailer!"

"Hey, Scaleface!" Caleb lept onto Cedric's back, grabbing ahold of him. "Caleb!" Cornelia gulped. "I hope this works better than it did in practice!"

"Time the Guardians learned a lesson in humility!"

"Cornelia!" Cornelia jumped in front of the others, and busted the wooden desk Cedric was about to throw at them to pieces. "I have what I've come for. We shall meet again, Guardians!"

"Wow. It looks like my room."

"And take your slimy portal with you!"


"I have the Earth papers to locate your sister."

"Time to start planning a family reunion."

"Not to mention that I encountered the young Water Guardian in battle today." Phobos paused, ceasing for a moment to stroke his eagle's feather's. "Oh?"


"Birth certificates!?"

"Of girls our age! Is Phobos looking for us!?"

Cornelia smirked. "Who wouldn't! I mean, we are kick-butt cute!" Irma groaned. "Ugh, my parents have been ruining my party for an hour!" She sighed. "I hope you guys like pizza, 'cause there isn't gonna be anyone left in my house to eat it!" Hay Lin grimaced. "Well, you're right. They're not in you're house."

"Happy birthday, pink purpy poopy pumpkin!"

"You know what would be a great birthday gift? For you to never call me that again!"

"What's that, poopy?"