Chapter 3: Bella's Need to Know
I waited patiently for Edward to answer. He looked extremely uncomfortable. He seemed to be struggling with finding exactly the right words to say. I didn't think there would be an acceptable answer to my question that would make both Edward and I happy. There was no way Edward could admit to thinking about me wearing underwear which would not make him sound like a pervert, at least in his own mind. I would consider it a compliment, of course, but he would never see it that way. He would just think it was another reason he was a monster, and how it was bad enough he put me in danger every second he was with me, or so he thought, but now he was having "scandalous" thoughts about me also. Finally, he seemed to reconcile his thoughts, and he took the path I knew he would take. He would give me what I wanted. He wouldn't eviscerate my confidence solely to appease his high moral compass. He'd give in, and admit what I wanted to hear. I was counting on that exact reaction.
He sighed. "Yes Bella, I thought about what you would look like wearing them" he admitted somewhat ruefully. I could just imagine him wondering why I wasn't running for the hills and away from this unchaste boyfriend. Edward was so old fashioned!
My face perked up at his revelation, no matter that I had forced him into it. It was music to my ears. I moved closer to him, and put my arms around his neck. I gave him a peck on the cheek. Edward seemed to relax a bit, and returned my kiss with a little peck on my forehead. But if he thought he was getting off that easily, he was mistaken.
"So...did you like the thought of me only wearing the bra and panties, Edward?" I asked with a smirk. It was hard to keep a straight face. I knew Edward must be torn with guilt over his admission, and most likely wondering how he was ever going to get out of my room. I could imagine him even now planning all sorts of escape routes from my incessant and uncomfortable line of questioning. He didn't reply. If he could blush, I'm sure his face would be about as red as mine was a few minutes ago. As it was, my face had returned to mostly it's normal colour. I wasn't embarassed like before...I was feeling happy again.
"I....I...I'm not...." he began. Wow. It was the first time I'd ever heard Edward stutter. He was usually so confident and sure of himself. But then again, I guess this was new territory for him as well. He might be 108 years old, but I was his first girlfriend in any sense of the word. And he was my first boyfriend. Ha! The 17 year old virgin trying to seduce the 108 year old virgin. The idea was laughable. Accurate, nonetheless. He must be feeling all the same insecurities about certain aspects of our relationship as I sometimes did.
I decided to let him off the hook a little. "It's okay Edward, I like knowing that you thought about it."
He looked at me like I was insane. To him, I should be utterly mortified at his inappropriate thoughts. Yes, he was beating himself up over being unworthy of me again. I sighed. When would Edward ever learn?
Edward was having trouble meeting my gaze now. His eyes glanced around the room, focusing on anything but my face. I moved my hand to his chin, and forced him to look at me. Well, force is probably the wrong word. I couldn't force Edward to do anything. He was a million times stronger than I was. But he sensed my fingers wanted to guide his gaze, and so he allowed it. I looked lovingly into his eyes for a few seconds, losing myself in the rich golden hue of his iris'.
Time to go for broke. "Edward, I just have one question I want you to answer truthfully..." I said biting my bottom lip. I pulled away from him slightly, and dropped my gaze to my hands. Then I returned my gaze to his eyes.
"Edward...do you think I am sexy?" I asked him suddenly.
"Bella! Please!" he hissed under his breath, and moved away from me in an instant. Before I'd registered anything had happened, he was across the room, and staring at the wall - his back to me. I knew he must be going crazy inside at how this morning had gone from pleasant to an outright disaster for him. His reaction though, was not entirely unexpected. I knew that Edward was so uptight about our physical relationship based on his upbringing and my extreme fragility. He didn't even like to think about what could possibly happen to me if he'd ever lost control, or we went any farther than the kissing stage. This was something he did not want to discuss at all.
I frowned a bit at his reaction nonetheless. Anticipating a rejection didn't make it hurt any less. I sat on the bed, our backs to each other now, and sniffled a bit. "It's okay Edward. I know I'm not sexy..." I whimpered. A tear fell down my cheek. It really did hurt to have an insecurity silently verified by your boyfriend. I was waiting for Edward to tell me he had to go, or plead with me to end this ridiculous conversation. What happened next though, surprised me.
A mere second after my shaky reply, Edward was beside me in an instant. I felt his icy hands in mine, and his face was only an inch from my own. His normally golden eyes were shining with a fierce light now. He lifted me to a standing position, and his lips crushed against mine. This was not our usual kissing. There was an urgency, a need there I'd never felt from him before. His lips worked against mine, and my eyes widened in shock as I felt his lips part, and felt his ice cold tongue against my lips. My eyes, which had closed after the kiss began opened instantly then. Edward's tongue and lips were all over mine, and I could feel his tongue work feverishly trying to probe deeper in my mouth. My lips obeyed his unvoiced request, and his tongue snaked inside my mouth, finding my own. Entwined now, they danced rhythmically as I felt his hands in my hair. I couldn't believe this was happening. After what seemed like an eternity of pleasure for me, but was probably only ten seconds, Edward pulled away suddenly. I looked at him confused.
"Breathe Bella..." he said seriously.
My brain kicked in, and I blinked. I took a deep intake of breath, and my heart seemed to start again. He chuckled slightly, and I blushed again. I was still dazed by the intensity and passion of his kiss however. He guided me down until I was sitting on the bed again. He moved his body closer to me, and he blew his breath lightly along my neck, and up my cheek. His scent, everything about him intoxicated me. I was stunned momentarily. My breathing became heavy as my mind recalled the passionate kiss we'd shared a moment before. Edward's fingers traced their way up my cheek and then he gently turned my face to the side, and moved his lips to my ear.
"Never say you are not sexy to me Bella. You don't know the things you do to me. I may be a vampire, but I am still a man afterall." his voice resonated softly in my ear. My heart fluttered then as the meaning dawned on me.
"You really think I am sexy?" I almost beamed. Sensing I needed confirmation, he immediately obliged.
"Bella. You. Are. So. Sexy." he said in a low growl. He closed the gap between us then, and his lips crushed against mine once more...
A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/subscribed/favourited the story. It's nice to know that my first fanfic is being received well.
