Chapter 3: A Painful Struggle

Eleanor listened to the priest as he spoke kind words for her mother and seeing the few people that had gathered for Elena, friends and few people from her company and most of all her father and herself with her friends. Still Eleanor couldn't feel any worse then she already was seeing everyone crying even if it was quietly but none the less it just made her feel worse, although having Miyuki at her side was more comforting then she thought.

They started lowering Elena's casket into the plot and Eleanor struggled to keep herself composed as she watched it slowly being lowered. Her father was no worse than Eleanor, even watching her father cry was a bit too much to see. Shizuma and Nagisa however were in the same situation, Elena had been such an amazing friend to the both of them and whenever they saw each other they would drag Eleanor and Miyuki with them to have a bit of fun, sometimes even her father much to everyone's amusement.

This was no harder on Miyuki then it was for Eleanor, Elena had always been a great person to be around with. Even when it came to surprising Eleanor with a birthday party, Miyuki would call Elena and together they would plan an awesome night for all of them. Glancing at Eleanor, Miyuki could see Eleanor was really keeping herself from crying and Miyuki felt awful for her. Although she knew sooner or later this was going to catch up to Eleanor but she couldn't blame her, she wanted to be strong for her mother.

Eleanor spent some time near her mother's grave stone after everyone had left while Miyuki stood behind her just in case she needed her. Eleanor took a few steps closer to the tombstone and laid some roses that she had been carrying for Elena in front of it.

Eleanor walked back towards Miyuki, "Let's go." Her voice filled with sorrow.

Miyuki held Eleanor close to her as they walked back to her father's car where her friends were waiting for them. They entered the vehicle and began driving back home, no one saying a thing but Nagisa however felt terrible, she could only imagine how this was killing Eleanor.

-"Eli-chan…are you okay."-

Eleanor looked up to Nagisa, "No."

-"You haven't said anything since yesterday."-

She gazed at Eleanor with concern, "What is there to say?"

-"It's alright to vent out everything your feeling."- Shizuma added, -"Yeah Eli, don't hold it in."- Nagisa placed her hand on Eli's knee.

Eleanor said nothing, -"Eli you know I'm here for you."- Miyuki softly told Eleanor. Eleanor instead laid her head on Miyuki and not that she didn't want too but she really didn't feel like talking about it just yet even though there so many things she just needed to scream out. Eleanor glanced at her dad and saw he wasn't doing too well either and she reached out and grabbed her father's hand making him quickly glance at his daughter who then smiled at her.


Once the car was parked in Henry's rather large garage everyone went inside their home to try and ease their pain for the person they all lost. They spent almost all day trying to make everyone feel better or at least trying to lighten the mood and before they knew it night had befallen them quickly and everyone had gathered in the living room to watch a bit of television but everyone was still distracted, and no one had said a word.

Nagisa was the first to break the tension mainly because she just had to ask, "Mr. Raynsford, why is your garage so huge?"

He looked at her and said, "Well I have quite the collection of vintage and modern cars one of which belongs to Eli."

"I don't see any of the cars in here."

Henry gave a crooked smile, "Well they are all in the shop having a bit of maintenance done."

"Ooh, I actually thought you had those big monster trucks stored in there." Nagisa quickly began to think about what she said, "On second thought, no not monster trucks that would be scary if they came to life and started scaring people." Nagisa held herself and shivered a bit making everyone laugh a little bit.

"You know Nagisa, my wife had a similar fear." Henry began, "I remember when we first met that she had an intense fear of the dark," He chuckled, "Well she still did, it was cute whenever the lights would go off and she would hold on to me till the lights came back on."

"Really?" Shizuma asked smiling thinking that it was cute of Elena,

"Yes, Even if I had to get up to do something she wouldn't let me go."

"That's so cute." Nagisa giggled,

"And mum would snuggle with me if there was another power outage and dad was at work." Eleanor added smiling at memory.

"Aw that's so adorable Eli." Miyuki embraced Eleanor from behind. Henry began to tell a couple of stories about his wife, things some of them didn't know and others that were funny while some were a bit embarrassing for Eleanor. Even though the stories were making were making everyone feel better in honoring Elena's memory, Eleanor still felt horrible as she just kept up a happy façade to please her friends.

Without saying anything Eleanor stood up and headed upstairs to her room unable to hear anymore stories without bursting into tears.

"Eli where are you doing?" Miyuki called out, "I'm just going to the bathroom." She lied; Eleanor instead opened the door to her room and leaned against the door after she closed it. Eleanor glanced around the room to spot the unopened box her mother had given her, she couldn't bring herself to open it the few days that she had it with her.

She took it in her hands and looked at it for while wondering what could be in it but at the same time Eleanor didn't want to know.

Eleanor was about to open it when she heard a knock at her door and opened, Eleanor saw Miyuki coming in.

-"I knew you'd be here."- Eleanor said nothing, -"I've known you long enough to know when you're lying about going somewhere."- Miyuki chuckled warmly as she took a seat next to Eleanor.

"I couldn't stay there anymore."

-"I figured as much."-

Eleanor gripped the box, "It's still so hard to accept this."

-"I don't blame you Eli."-

Eleanor reached out for Miyuki's hand, "How do you even prepare for something like this? To have someone you've known all your life just taken from you."

-"You can't sadly…"-

Eleanor hung her head, "I miss her."

-"I know Eli, but just remember that your mother wants you to be happy and if you always keep her in your heart then she'll always be with you."- Eleanor looked at Miyuki how she had a loving smile across her across her face.

"Thank you."

Miyuki drew Eleanor closer to her, -"You know I still can't get over how much space you have in your room."- Miyuki tried to lighten the mood a bit.

"All this room and I'm not really sure what to do with it." Eleanor attempted to sound better.

-"I'll tell you this, it's larger then my room back at home."-

"I actually thought your room would be larger."

Miyuki only giggled, -"I wish I had this much space."-

"Really? What would you even do?"

-"I can think of a few things."- Miyuki began giving Eleanor a list of things she would use the extra space for and Eleanor was surprised that she didn't think of some of those things herself. Even though Eleanor still felt awful over her mother's passing, she couldn't be happier that Miyuki was helping her feel better even if it was a little, it still meant so much for Eleanor.

"Miyuki thank you, you have no idea how happy you make."

Miyuki shook her head, -"It pains me to see you hurt Eli, so if I can help you feel better then I'll do whatever it takes."-

"You have no idea how much I love you." Miyuki caressed Eleanor's face, -"As I love you."- They pressed their foreheads together and held each other.

-"Hey Eli I've been meaning to ask you, what's that?"- Eleanor followed Miyuki's gaze who was staring at the box she still had clutched in her hand.

"My mum gave this to me…"-

-"What's in it?"-

"I don't know, I haven't opened." Eleanor paused, "I'm not sure if I can open it though."

-"That's alright Eli, it's your mothers gift to you after all."-

Miyuki smiled, -"Are you ready to join everyone Eli?"- Eleanor nodded, "Yeah." Miyuki took Eleanor's hand and led her out the door and back to the large living room downstairs to rejoin their friends and Henry.


The night grew longer and everyone was starting to feel weary, Henry led Shizuma and Nagisa to the guest bedroom they would be staying in while Miyuki followed Eleanor since she would be sleeping in the same room with her.

"Even the guest bedroom is sooo huge." Nagisa ran to the center of the room and spun herself slowly looking at the whole room in awe.

"No kidding." Shizuma added and it reminded her of her own home with its large rooms and at the same time Miyuki's own home had its fair share of large rooms.

"I hope you girls will be comfortable here." Nagisa thanked Henry as did Shizuma and with that Henry retreated back to the living room as he wasn't really feeling sleepy.

Eleanor entered her room with Miyuki following behind her, and Eleanor was startled by the vibration on her phone.

"That sucks." Eleanor looked at the message she had received.

-"What's wrong?"-

"Yaya's flight was cancelled due to weather problems. That's why she couldn't make it."

Miyuki sat on the bed, -"That does suck."-

"But she said she'll be on the next one." Eleanor laid down on the bed facing the ceiling,

-"That's good to know she'll be coming soon."- Eleanor needed her best friend there to help her.

"Are you tired?" Miyuki finished putting on her sleeping clothes which this time instead of pants were now shorts and a loose T shirt.

-"A bit, you?"-

Eleanor flipped over onto her stomach, "No…" she rose to her feet.

"I'll be back." Eleanor left the room and headed downstairs to the living room where her father was still sitting.

"Dad." Her presence startling him, "Geez kiddo, you scared me." He laughed as he said that.

"Not feeling tired either huh?"

He shook his head as he took another drink of his whiskey, "It's not the same in that room anymore."

"I know what you mean."

He took another sip, "With Elena not here with me anymore, I'm not sure how I can even go back in there with so many memories." Eleanor let her father continue, "Everything in there reminds me of your mother, the makeup stand, her clothes, and those small games she kept with her or the emergency snacks she kept in her nightstand." He chuckled on the last one.

Though Eleanor could hear his voice break, "Dad you don't have to do that to yourself."

"Yeah I know I can't help it kiddo, I love her."

Eleanor sat closer to her dad, "I love mum too, and this isn't easy on me either."

Henry offered a glass of whiskey to his daughter one which she politely turned down, "You never did like it did you."

Eleanor chuckled softly, "No."

"I remember when you wanted just a taste of it; Elena did not let me hear the end of that one." He laughed, "Yeah, she was all over me too about it."

"It tasted horrible." They both laughed, "Remember when mum had to rescue you from that small little fire you started in the kitchen when you tried to surprise her."

"Yeah, I started taking cooking lessons after that one."

Eleanor then added, "But mum still loved that you tried to do something nice for her."

"Yeah, I believe we went out after we put out the fire."

"Or what about that ornament you tried making for your mother on Mother's day."

Eleanor covered her eyes, "Don't remind me." They both started laughing.

"I dropped it on the way to giving it to her and it shattered," Eleanor could feel herself wanting to cry, "And then she comes in and helps me pick up the pieces."

"You must have been at least ten."

Eleanor replied with a 'Yeah', "Then we glued it back together and I gave it to her.

"After you stopped crying that you dropped it."

"Hey I felt horrible for dropping mums present."

Henry saw a tear streaming down Eleanor's face, "Your mother still loved it, she even put it up on her desk at work."

Eleanor couldn't contain herself anymore, "I miss her." Eleanor began to cry heavily, everything she tried so hard to contain was finally coming out.

Henry too couldn't fight them back any longer and began to cry as well, "As do I kiddo." He held onto his crying daughter as he wept tears of his own for the woman they both loved with all their hearts.


Eleanor walked back inside her room, she looked around and saw Miyuki looking at something on her mirror stand. She softly walked behind Miyuki and embraced her, a soft gasp escaping Miyuki as she felt Eleanor's arms around her waist.

-"You startled me."-

Eleanor gently buried her chin on Miyuki's collar bone so their cheeks could touch, "Sorry didn't mean too."

Miyuki raised one of her arms to caress Eleanor's face, -"Why didn't you tell me you wrote your own music."- Eleanor looked at what Miyuki was staring at.

The guitar tabs she had made a long time ago but had stopped, "To be honest I completely forgot about them."

-"No lyrics?"-

Eleanor laughed softly, "You know me Miyuki, I can't sing or dance." Miyuki continued to cycle through the numerous sheets Eleanor had piled up.

-"You wrote a lot of them."-

Eleanor nodded, "I can teach you how to read it."-

Miyuki giggled, -"You can try but I doubt I'll get it."- Eleanor laughed alongside Miyuki, "It's quite easy once you get the hang of it."

Miyuki then pulled out another sheet but this one was unfinished, -"Hey Eli."- Eleanor had her eyes closed but responded with an 'hmm' to let Miyuki know she was listening.

-"Why is this one not finished?"-

Eleanor opened her eyes and upon seeing it her heart sank, "That's the one my mum and I were doing together."

Miyuki quickly turned her head, -"Eli I'm sorry I didn't mean to..."-

Eleanor shook her head, "No it's alright."

"We never could figure out how to continue past this part." Eleanor smiled as she pointed at the section of the song, "We both had a lot of conflicting ideas."

-"Why don't you finish it Eli?"-

Eleanor closed her eyes and held Miyuki closer to her, "I wouldn't know how."

Miyuki guided Eleanor back to bed and they both laid down next to each other.

"I can't say I'm feeling better," Eleanor began, "Not having my mum with me anymore, it's been hard to deal with," She turned her head to look at Miyuki, "But at least I have you here with me." Eleanor grabbed Miyuki's hand and intertwined their fingers.

-"And I'll always be there for you."- Eleanor reached towards her lamp table next to her bed and grabbed the small the box.

"Miyuki…" Miyuki already knowing what Eleanor was going to ask said, -"Of course."-

Miyuki reached for the top of the box as Eleanor held it firmly, in a simple motion Miyuki lifted the lid of the box and they both looked inside.


Nagisa and Shizuma had been a little restless and were unable to sleep even after being awake way past midnight. Nagisa and Shizuma were watching a bit of television in their room in Eleanor's home, as Nagisa was brushing Shizuma's long luscious silver hair.

-"What are we watching?"- Nagisa asked never taking her eyes off Shizuma's hair, -"Not sure, I was just flipping channels and this show was on."-

Nagisa continued to brush Shizuma's hair, -"It's actually pretty funny…OW!"- Shizuma rubbed the back of her head.

-"Sorry, you had a nasty tangle in your hair."-

Shizuma looked at Nagisa, -"You don't have to rip my hair."-

Nagisa rolled her eyes, -"I didn't rip your hair silly."- Shizuma laughed, -"Can't I at least make it look dramatic."- Nagisa revealed a smile of her own as she tried to contain her giggles.

-"Hey my turn."- Shizuma grabbed Nagisa and shifted positions and began brushing her hair now.

-"Sorry but it's not my fault you have such long hair…and beautiful hair I might add."- Shizuma planted a kiss on Nagisa's lips.

-"Why don't you let it grow as long as mine."-

-"Eh?"- Nagisa thought for moment, -"I think having that much hair would drive me insane."- She laughed

-"Aww, you might look even cuter with it."- She teased as she continued to brush Nagisa's hair.

-"This show is actually funny."-

Despite Nagisa having a fair length of her hair, her red locks had no sign of tangles or knots and Shizuma was amazed at how well she maintained her hair. Shizuma herself struggled to keep her hair nice and free from tangles but sadly that was a never ending battle with her length of hair, somehow it would find some way to get a few tangles but she never had a problem anymore since Nagisa loves to brush her long silver hair.

Once Shizuma was done, she put the brush down and held onto Nagisa as they both watched the television having a few moments of laughter every now and then. Nagisa however had Eleanor on her mind; she couldn't begin to imagine how not having a mother anymore was doing to her mind. Nagisa couldn't picture losing her own mother, the mere thought alone made her feel awful and sent a chill down her spine.

-"What's on your mind my cute Nagisa."- Nagisa leaned back onto Shizuma who continued to hold her gently.

-"Eli-chan."- She began, -"I just feel so bad for her, she just lost her mom."- A wave of sorrow also hit Shizuma.

-"Yeah, did you see how she looked at the funeral; it broke my heart just looking at her and knowing I couldn't do anything made it worse."-

-"Same here, we have to help her somehow."-

Nagisa held Shizuma's hand, -"Agreed, but how?"-

-"I don't know. How do you cheer up someone when a person they loved passes away?"-

Shizuma thought for while, -"Being there for her."- Nagisa nodded, -"True."-

Nagisa bolted upwards, -"I got it, we have to make a day just for Eleanor, and give her the time of her life."-

Shizuma crossed her arms, -"It's a good plan, but she just lost her mother it might not be a good time."- Nagisa slumped back down and pouted.

-"But it's a wonderful thought Nagisa."- Nagisa laid her head on Shizuma's chest, -"Hmm, how about we start small."- Shizuma suggested.

-"What do you mean?"- Shizuma lifted Nagisa's chin so their eyes would lock, -"Well I'm not saying let's not give her a really good time yet but we can do small things to cheer her up slowly but surely."-

-"Are you sure? What if Eli starts to feel horrible."- Shizuma gave a low 'hmm', -"One thing at a time my little Nagisa."-

-"But I promise you that we won't let her feel terrible anymore."- Nagisa's head perked up, -"Hey I forgot Yaya-chan is also coming."-

-"You see, with all three of us we can help Eleanor out."- Nagisa shifted her body to hug Shizuma tightly, -"And Eli won't be sad anymore!"- She exclaimed happily.

Shizuma laughed quietly, -"keep your voice down my cute little Nagisa, you'll wake everyone up."- Nagisa covered her mouth.

Shizuma took Nagisa's hands and moved them away to expose her lips and slowly made her way towards Nagisa and gave her a loving kiss.


End Chapter 3