A/N As always, my thanks for your reviews. Your feedback is much appreciated. This is the first time I have attempted something so out of my range, especially in terms of the times Merlin in particular, and the Arthurian legends in general, would have been set in. I've deliberately stayed away from too much detail in that respect, not mentioning the style of Gwen's wedding dress for example, or Arthur's clothes too much, beyond a bit of broad detail. It means, I suppose, that a reader is free to imagine what they like. I also imagine the castle as in the series, and all Merlin viewers know what it looks like, so I resisted the temptation to reinvent the wheel.
So, here we are, in what will be the third and final chapter of The Word Of A King. This chapter is significant in that it is what I intended to write all along. It is what popped in to my head, first in fragments, and then in great big chunks. I allowed it to run amok in my mind, developing into a fic that flips back and forth on a timeline, but the fundamental story is this chapter. In-keeping with the rest of the story, it doesn't have a plot as such. I prefer to see it as a snapshot of events, a peak into Guinevere's memories.
As ever, please read and review.
Horns played a fanfare as Guinevere walked down the aisle of the Great-Hall on the arm of her new husband. Husband. The word washed over Guinevere in a wave of feelings she couldn't name. Joy and love didn't quite seem to fit such an idea, although they were the foundations for it. There was also something about belonging, even ownership, which washed over her as she looked into Arthur's eyes. Normally Gwen would be revolted by the idea of one person owning another. Even in her life as a servant she knew in her heart that she belonged to no one except herself. Now, looking at Arthur, Gwen was conscious of feeling owned, as if she belonged, but what was perhaps more surprising was the way Arthur's eyes reflected her feelings. They belonged to each other now, they always would. Arthur was her husband and she was his wife.
Arthur led Gwen into the vestibule beyond the Great Hall and the doors shut firmly behind them, giving them a moment alone. Arthur released Gwen's arm and they turned to face each other. The expression on his face was a mixture of wonderment and disbelief, as if he'd been having a dream only to wake and find that the dream was true. Gwen knew because she felt the same.
Several long moments passed, time in which neither of them moved or spoke. Gwen couldn't find words to explain how she felt. All she knew was that her heart seemed to have moved and lodged itself in the back of her throat, it was so full. Arthur's lips suddenly opened and Gwen was sure he was about to speak. His expression reminded her of the first time he kissed her, in her house in the lower town, when he was fighting in the tournament as Sir William in secret, to prove to others, and to himself, that he could win because he was good, not just because he was Prince Arthur. It was also the time when he was being hunted by an assassin employed by King Odin, who wanted Arthur dead because he had killed his son.
That time, Gwen recalled, Arthur kissed her, then he stood there looking as if he couldn't quite work out what he had done. Gwen remembered feeling the same. She couldn't take in that Arthur had just kissed her, not just a friendly kiss in greeting, though as she was a servant even that would have been out of the question, but as something else. Something she dare not name. What puzzled her even more was her reaction to it, the way she followed him as he eased away, like his kiss was a siren-call she could never get enough of. Now she stood and waited for whatever he was going to do next. That first time he had turned and fled, leaving Gwen to wonder what exactly had happened and, more importantly, what it meant. Now he stood before her, his mouth opening and closing slightly, as if he was trying to think of what to say and finding nothing.
When several more minutes had gone by and Arthur was still standing before her Gwen became anxious. Though she saw nothing in his gaze to indicate there was anything wrong, her mind started to imagine all sorts of things. She started to think that he had suddenly realised the magnitude of what he had done, taking a commoner to be his Queen. She could almost hear him realising that he'd made a mistake. She could see him trying to work out a way of getting out of what he had done, trying to be rid of her as soon as possible.
The thought that Arthur regretted what they had done grew bigger and bigger with every passing second. She tried not to react, tried to tell herself that she had to keep calm if she was going to be able to maintain a scrap of dignity from the situation. Still, she couldn't help the image that passed through her mind, of being cast out of the castle, away from Arthur, perhaps even having to leave Camelot. The idea was unbearable. She swallowed down a sob that wanted to come out. She was not going to cry, she told herself. She was going to face it.
Gwen took a deep breath and opened her mouth. "Arth…."
That was as far as she got. She was interrupted when she found herself being pulled against the hardness of a chest, the coolness of chain-mail easily felt against the fine material of her wedding dress. Gwen could feel Arthur everywhere, all around her, in a way she'd never felt before, except in her dreams, which for weeks had woken her, the memories bringing a flush to her cheeks and a new feeling to other parts of her that she had never known before. It was a strange feeling, Gwen remembered, a mixture of shyness at the thought of knowing that she could think such bold, even wanton, things, and longing to feel such things again, to make the dreams a reality. The thought brought a new wave of colour to her cheeks, which only deepened when she saw the way Arthur was looking at her. His blue eyes burned, his gaze so heated that it seemed possible he would scorch her if he stared at her much longer. Something seemed to be bubbling in his mind, a thought, an idea, Gwen wasn't sure. She didn't get time to think about it too long. Suddenly her thoughts were swept away when Arthur pulled her closer against him, his hands trembling as he touched her. Even beneath his chain-mail Gwen could feel Arthur's heart pounding. She reached up to his face, to take his cheek into her hand as she'd done so often before. A delighted shiver ran down her spine when Arthur leaned into her touch and a soft moan came from his lips. Then, before she could do anything else, Arthur leaned in and brought his lips to hers.
The kiss went on for what felt like an age, but also no time at all. Everything seemed to pause for a moment, there was no noise, no movement, except for the touch of lips and the racing of hearts, which seemed to Guinevere to be thumping in her head, but she didn't care, not now. All she could feel was Arthur as he kissed her. For the first time he opened his mouth a little, deepening the kiss, the movement slow, like he was trying to give Guinevere time to adjust to the new sensation. She responded by imitating his action, slowly opening her own mouth and drawing Arthur closer in a way that drew a low moan from him that reverberated all through Gwen's body.
Arthur's response to her kisses made Gwen bolder. When Arthur tentatively dipped his tongue into her mouth, gently caressing her, she followed, allowing her own tongue to brush his in the slowest of dances. He clasped her nearer, his hands roaming up and down slowly, caressing her hair, her shoulders, her back, and, after a moment when Gwen sensed he was uncertain of how she would respond to such a gesture, drifting lower, before his hands went back to her hair, his fingers twining in her curls.
The newlyweds were completely engrossed in each other. Nothing beyond the walls of the vestibule existed, so, when all of a sudden the doors to the Great Hall began to open they both started, jumping apart like children who have been caught doing something naughty. Gwen felt a rush of heat rising in her cheeks, the thought of being found in such a position by all these people, not only friends but also most of the highest nobility in the land, making her blush. What would they think of her?
Arthur must have sensed Gwen's discomfort. Amid the noise and bustle of people beginning to rise to their feet in the Hall, he reached out and kissed Gwen's hand tenderly. He smiled brightly, his eyes shining. "Today they may think what they like", he angled his head briefly towards the Hall, showing Gwen he meant all the people within. "We're married, you're my wife. I'm allowed to kiss you now and you are allowed to let me kiss you... if you wish." Gwen saw the question in his eyes as he said the words hesitantly, as if it had suddenly occurred to him that she might not have wished to be kissed, so she smiled and repeated his gesture by taking his hand and kissing it, trying to show him how she felt when the words just wouldn't come. Arthur must have understood because suddenly his smile grew even wider, his eyes lightened the room. "We don't have to hide anymore Gwen", he spoke with an edge of something akin to disbelief in his voice. "We're allowed to be happy today, we're married." Then, taking Gwen's hand on his arm, he led her from the vestibule, the rest of the gathering slowly following, to begin the celebrations for their marriage.
Later, the banquet to celebrate the King's marriage to Guinevere was in full swing. There was music and dancing. The tables heaved with all manner of foods, and the wine flowed copiously. The room was filled with laughter and chatter as guests mingled and enjoyed the hospitality of the King of Camelot and his bride.
As Gwen sat at the top table at Arthur's side, she wondered if she would ever lose the sense that this was a dream and that soon she would wake and find herself in her work clothes, serving the nobility at such a banquet, rather than sitting amongst them. She found her eyes being drawn to the servants, people she had known and worked with for the most part of her life. Gwen watched them going back and forth, between the Banqueting Hall and the kitchens, a journey she had completed herself so many times before. She watched as they worked together, some bringing in plates of food or flagons of wine, others clearing away plates from food already eaten in order to make room for more. Gwen followed their movements, knowing their routines exactly. She knew that everything was timed to perfection, each new dish making its entrance just as an old one was being taken away. Gwen knew very well how tetchy Cook could be when she was overseeing an event such as this. Cook, Gwen remembered, saw cooking and presenting food as not only an art-form, but also something like a divine right, and woe betide the hapless servant who got in her way. Still, Gwen thought wryly, perhaps the food and wine that had been purchased specifically for the servants, so that they too could be part of the celebrations, would make the event pass smoothly and sweeten Cook's mood.
Before they sat down Gwen and Arthur stood side by side near the doors to the Banqueting Hall to welcome their guests as they entered. Arthur, with a slight smirk adorning his lips, referred to it as 'glad-handing', a moment when the visiting nobility from the surrounding kingdoms got a chance to have a word with the King, and Queen and drop less than subtle hints about crop shortages or this or that King causing uproar between neighbouring borders.
Arthur caressed Gwen's future title in exactly the same way he said Guinevere, making her blush and forget completely to remind him that she wasn't Queen, not yet.
Arthur took greeting the guests in his stride, shaking hands warmly with some, talking animatedly with others, and introducing Gwen to others with such a note of pride in his voice that it took her breath away. Gwen, on the other hand, found it nerve-wracking. It wasn't so much that she had never attended a banquet with Arthur, since she'd moved in to the castle there had been one or two, one for his Coronation and a relatively small one for his birthday a few weeks after he proposed, but on those occasions Arthur was the one people were looking at. Now she was his wife, soon to be Queen, Gwen knew every eye was on her, and some of those eyes viewed her less than favourably.
Gwen wasn't naïve enough to persuade herself that her marriage to Arthur was greeted with resounding approval by all the nobility. She knew that some were positively scornful of Arthur's choice of bride and were waiting for her to get things wrong. The thought caused a knot to form in Gwen's stomach. What if she did make some terrible mistake, say something out of place to the wrong person, or do something to cause offence? She would be letting Arthur and Camelot down in front of all these people. Just as the thoughts in Gwen's head were growing bigger and panic was starting to take hold, she felt Arthur's breath next to her ear. "I deal with it by imagining them all naked." His tone was completely neutral.
Gwen, whilst trying to see in the corner of her eye to make sure no one was waiting to greet her, inclined her head towards Arthur. "You…you what?" Her brows arched in shock.
She felt rather than saw Arthur's smirk. "Look", he whispered, "half of them look down their noses at me, thinking I'm a child who doesn't know what he's doing, thinking, oh so politely of course, that I'm playing at being King, and to be fair, on my case they might have a point, but…"
"That isn't true Arthur, you're a…" Gwen's response came automatically, but was no less heartfelt for that. Arthur interrupted her flow of defensive words.
"I'm just saying, imagining them all naked puts them in perspective, that's all. Mind you, Lady Beatrice over there", he tilted his head towards a rather large lady sitting at one of the tables towards the back of the room, "that is not a pleasant image." He beamed mock-innocently.
If they had been alone Gwen would have reached out and smacked Arthur for being rude about their guests, even if secretly she did think he had a point. As they had company she settled for putting her hand over her mouth to cover the smile she was trying to hold back and rolling her eyes. Her response drew a chuckle from Arthur which he had to disguise quickly as a cough when the next guest appeared in front of him. His reaction, and the frown it drew from their guest, made taking her hand away from her mouth impossible for several long seconds. She quickly managed to collect herself as the guest took her other hand and greeted her with a modest bow before walking away, his nose in the air.
Instead of worrying about their guest's reaction Gwen tried Arthur's suggestion, picturing the man in nothing but the coronet that adorned his head. "It really works!" she exclaimed to Arthur in a hushed tone so that no one else would hear, as she felt her earlier anxiety slipping away.
"Of course it does." Arthur smirked lazily.
Seeing in the corner of her eye that the next guest she was going to greet would be Merlin, Gwen reached out and smacked Arthur not so gently on the arm.
"What did you do?" Merlin greeted the King with absolutely no formality at all.
Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes. He knew Merlin would never change. Somewhere deep down inside he was glad, not that he would ever admit that to this man who somehow was becoming less of a manservant and more of a….Well, a friend.
"I didn't do anything, I'm completely innocent." Arthur rubbed the spot where Gwen smacked him.
Merlin grinned. "Of course you are Sire, and I'm a Sorcerer." His eyes danced with amusement.
It took Arthur a second to absorb what Merlin said. Then, when he realised, Gwen was surprised to hear the way his voice shook, just ever so slightly. "Y-you're .….?"
Merlin sighed theatrically. "Joking, Clot-pole." Then, winking at Gwen, he moved aside for Sir Leon.
It was as he winked that Gwen thought she saw a look in Merlin's eyes, something that looked almost too cheerful, too light-hearted, that caused her insides to twitch nervously. She pushed the thought aside, telling herself that Merlin was joking. But, a treacherous little voice in her head reminded her, Merlin had made several 'jokes' like that lately, about sorcery. He didn't do it when Gaius was around. Gwen had a feeling Merlin knew that Gaius wouldn't find it remotely funny, so he behaved himself when Gaius was in ear-shot, but when he was alone with Arthur and Gwen, these strange little remarks would come out, each one either laughed off by Merlin as a joke, or dismissed by Arthur as Merlin just being an idiot. But this, today, was different. Merlin had never joked about actually being a Sorcerer before. Gwen made a mental note to have a word with Merlin as soon as she had time.
Once the guests had finished eating it was time for the dancing to begin. As the bride and groom Gwen and Arthur had to take to the floor first. Gwen took Arthur's hand as he led her to the floor and the music began, filling the hall with sound.
It wasn't the first time Gwen had danced with Arthur, but still she found herself surprised at how graceful he was when he moved, though, she decided with some amusement, this was one opinion of her husband she would keep to herself. She knew instinctively that Arthur would object to ever being thought of as graceful. Arthur was proud of his ability with a sword, or his horsemanship. The thought of being known for being good at dancing would be mortifying to him.
After the first dance many of the guests joined the bride and groom on the floor. During one dance the ladies exchanged partners several times, each one swapping until all the ladies had danced with all of the gentlemen. On one change over Gwen found herself face-to-face with Lancelot.
"You look lovely My Lady." Lancelot took Gwen's hand and bowed his head respectfully, before they took their places to join in the rest of the dance.
Gwen smothered a sigh. Despite living in the castle for months it was still strange to hear herself being addressed in such a way. From someone such as Lancelot, someone she'd cared for, and even now regarded as a friend, it was embarrassing.
"Lancelot, you know you don't have to call me…"
Lancelot shook his head. Gwen could see he seemed uncomfortable, just as he had when she saw him at the wedding, when he could barely force himself to look at her. It saddened her. As much as she loved Arthur, Gwen knew she would never forget that brief time when she became close to Lancelot and thought him more than a friend. She knew now that her feelings for Lancelot didn't compare with the deep love she felt for Arthur, but it was still a special memory. Gwen was also proud of the way Lancelot had rushed to help when Camelot needed him, when Morgana took the throne. He'd shown his loyalty to Camelot and to Arthur without hesitation.
"I think I do My Lady, after all you will soon be my Queen, and besides…"
Gwen waited for Lancelot to finish, but after several long seconds when his words hung in the air, she prompted him. "Besides?" Her brow arched in question.
Lancelot sighed, his shoulders drooping heavily. "I just think it would be for the best, that's all."
Gwen frowned deeply. "Has Arthur said something to you, because if he has..." She couldn't help the sudden rush of feelings that flowed through her. The thought that Arthur might have singled out Lancelot and ordered him not to use her name made her feel angry and strangely disappointed. After the incident before he proposed, Gwen was sure Arthur had accepted that her feelings for Lancelot were no longer any deeper than friendship, but suddenly she was not so sure.
Lancelot must have realised that he had said something out of place. He reached out and caught Gwen's hands in his and shook his head firmly. "I didn't mean to imply that the King had said anything, he hasn't, truly. I just think that it would be best if I addressed you formally, I think it would be easier."
"Easier?" Gwen was becoming confused. Lancelot was behaving strangely. Somehow she felt that she was missing something. Still, she felt a wave of relief washing over her, knowing that Arthur hadn't interfered in how Lancelot should speak to her in future. It showed that he trusted her, trusted her feelings for him.
Lancelot sighed heavily. "You must know how I still feel about you."
For a second Gwen thought she hadn't heard him clearly above the music and the noise of all the people in the hall. Then, after gathering her thoughts, she looked at Lancelot and saw what he was saying in his eyes. She released Lancelot's hands. She watched as they fell to his sides abruptly. "Lancelot...I...I'm so sorry, I didn't…." She couldn't think what to say. He still cared for her, perhaps even loved her, or thought he did, and she hadn't had a clue.
Lancelot smiled wanly. "I know, you love the King and he adores you, and I know nothing will ever change that, and you must know I would never do anything to come between you. I care for both of you too much to do that."
Gwen returned Lancelot's smile softly, moved by the strength in his words. "I know you wouldn't. I know you are a good man Lancelot and I hope one day you will find someone who is right for you, someone you love as much as I love Arthur, and who loves you in return just as much, as he does me."
Lancelot smiled thoughtfully. "Actually I have met someone that perhaps in the future… I might….I don't know…"
He broke off, unable to say any more. His feelings, Gwen could see, were written all over his face. Knowing that he was hurt, after all, Gwen knew how she felt when he went away before, she tried to steer the conversation to a lighter mood. "Oh really, what's her name?"
Lancelot's gratitude shone in his eyes. "It's Elaine."
Gwen nodded beneficently, hoping sincerely that Lancelot would be happy one day. "You will find the right one for you Lancelot, I'm sure you will."
Lancelot dipped his head in a bow respectfully. "If I find someone who loves me as much as you love the King I will be a very lucky man." Then, before Gwen could say anything more, Lancelot walked away. Gwen watched him go and hoped that one day he would find the love he deserved, as she and Arthur had done.
"You all right Guinevere?"
Gwen's thoughts were interrupted when two familiar arms slipped around her. She looked up into Arthur's blue eyes. "I'm fine, I'm so happy, that's all." She reached up and kissed him gently on the lips.
Even as Arthur's face betrayed his confusion at his wife's public display of feelings, Gwen knew she spoke the truth. She was happy.
Much later the hall was still bustling. It felt to Gwen that she had hardly had a moment to sit down, apart from when she was eating. All evening she had either been dancing, first with Arthur and then with various other guests, some of whom danced better than others. She'd lost count of the number of times her toes had been stood on. When she wasn't dancing she was circulating around the room with Arthur, speaking to guests, asking and answering questions and trying to be a good hostess. At first it was nice, it felt good to be at Arthur's side, greeting people and welcoming them to Camelot. Gwen knew that as Queen it would be what was expected of her. But, as evening rapidly turned to night, it was becoming exhausting. She wasn't tired in her body, she'd worked long hours as a handmaiden, she was used to being on her feet late into the night. However, her mind reeled with all the new names and faces she was taking in. It felt like her head would burst, it was so busy trying to remember who was from where, what their titles were, and all the other tiny details a Queen would be expected to know. It was even harder if the guest had arrived with their families. Then there were wives and husbands to learn about and children, a lot of which seemed very badly behaved.
After a particularly long conversation with the wife of one of the guests, a woman who seemed, at least to Gwen, to spend most of her days doing very little, Gwen extricated herself politely and sat down, sipping slowly on a goblet of wine she had been attempting to drink for at least the last hour. Soon Arthur followed and took his place beside her.
"Have I been rude do you think?" She asked anxiously, concern that she had upset a guest and caused Arthur embarrassment uppermost in her mind.
Arthur took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "No, of course you haven't. You'll find that Lady Margaret", he indicated the woman they had just walked away from, "has two topics of conversation, her brat of a son and her latest piece of embroidery. I mean, how is it possible for a woman to spend an hour talking about that little….child." Arthur held back the word he really wanted to use to describe Lady Margaret's little terror.
Gwen chuckled. Arthur was right. Lady Margaret's son was a monster. He'd spilled the contents of at least three goblets of wine as he'd reached over his mother for the food on the table. He'd wiped his nose, which for some unknown reason seemed to be permanently running, on a table-cloth, and then, when he had finished eating, he had spent the rest of the evening running around, making a nuisance of himself and getting in everyone's way. All the time his mother ignored his behaviour, but spent all her time gushing to anyone who was prepared to listen about how adorable he was.
Arthur took Gwen's hand in his and spoke, his tone easing the headache she could feel starting to develop behind her eyes. "If you would like you could go up to my...to our room and have some time to yourself before…" He let the thought hang in the air.
Gwen shook her head firmly and shook herself to wake herself up. "No, really, I'm all right. I just…I'll wait for you."
Arthur smiled tenderly. "Look, why don't you go up and make yourself comfortable? You've been on your feet all day and…"
"I'm used to hard work Arthur." Gwen couldn't help the edge in her voice. She really was exhausted. She apologised with her eyes as soon as she realised how sharp she'd sounded.
Arthur dismissed Gwen's sudden sharpness by edging closer. Gwen could feel his breath as he turned towards her. 'I'm just saying that you don't have to do everything today that's all."
Gwen's brows arched quizzically and Arthur explained. "I've watched you all evening trying to remember names and faces, trying so hard not to make a mistake, as if you would somehow let me or Camelot down, and all I'm saying is that no one expects you to know everything right away."
Gwen sighed heavily. "But you know them all and if I don't try to remember who they are it looks…"
"It looks like you are human." Arthur replied, gifting her with a gentle smile. Then he became more serious. "Look, I've told you, these people", he indicated around the room, "are not Camelot. The real people, the people in the town, are the real Camelot, the people we are going to serve together for the rest of our lives."
Gwen swallowed down a sudden lump in her throat at the image of Camelot Arthur created, a Camelot where the every-day, normal people mattered and not just a favoured few. It was what she'd always hoped for. Still, the thought niggled. If she went upstairs now, leaving Arthur to attend to their guests, the nobility would talk. But as she sat there, Gwen had to admit it was tempting. Just a few moments alone, to think, to breathe, would make all the difference. "I suppose I could go up for a moment, couldn't I?"
To her surprise Arthur shook his head. "No, you've done enough for one day. Just go up and make yourself comfortable. It's fine." He kissed her hand again. Then he beamed. "Besides, if you go up it gives me an excuse. All I have to do is say a quick goodnight to our guests and then…."
Gwen blushed. "Arthur!"
The King laughed at the expression on his wife's face. "What, after all it is our wedding night. I would have thought it was natural that we should want some time alone to…." His eyes twinkled mischievously.
Gwen flushed even more, at what Arthur was implying, but couldn't hold back the light in her own eyes. Perhaps he did have a point. They were newly married. It was right that they should want to be alone. "Are you sure no one would mind?" She gave Arthur one more chance to change his mind.
Arthur grinned. "Go to bed Guinevere." As she stood his face straightened again. "I'll say goodnight and have a quick word with the Knights and I'll be there."
So, Guinevere found herself alone in what was once Arthur's chamber, looking out through a small window from where she could see the lower town. If she looked long enough she was sure she could see her old house, or at least a sliver of smoke as it rose in the air from the chimney. It touched her to think that someone else lived there now, a young man who lived there with his wife and new baby. Gwen hoped they would be as happy there as she had once been.
As was expected, Gwen's maids had followed her to her new chamber, but once they had helped her slip out of her wedding dress she dismissed them with a cheerful smile. She knew they had all had a long day too. They each left the room, dropping into a brief curtsey as they went, all except Sally, her new maid, who handed her a small bunch of wild-flowers as a wedding gift, before saying goodnight, curtseying and leaving the room quietly. Gwen put the flowers into a small glass she found on the table in the main part of the room and half filled it with water from a jug she also found there. She went to a drawer where she knew she would find some of her clothes. When she found one of her old night dresses she slipped it on and wrapped a shawl around her shoulders. It was ironic, Gwen thought. The shawl was the one she had worn one night when a misunderstanding led her to think that Arthur was coming to her home to see her, but instead he had been under the influence of an enchantment and was spending the evening with Lady Vivienne, who he was convinced he had fallen madly in love with, leaving Guinevere to spend the evening alone.
She remembered how Arthur had insisted she buy herself all new things for her wedding day, but once her dress had been bought Gwen decided that she didn't need anything new to go to bed in, not just yet. She couldn't explain it, but somehow it felt right to start her married life, the real part that would only begin after the ceremony, wearing something she had worn when she was just Gwen, the handmaiden. With a slight blush she also remembered listening to other serving girls during the times after Morgana disappeared from Camelot the first time, when she helped out in the kitchens just for something to do. All the newly married girls seemed to say the same thing, that there was no point making or buying a new night dress for their wedding night as it wouldn't be on for long. At the time Gwen had pushed away their words, the thought of being able to be with the man she loved seemed too incredible to think of. Now it was about to happen and she could scarcely believe it. Perhaps the old night dress was a link she thought, between her past and her future.
When she was ready Gwen went back to the window overlooking the town, watching the light from the homes below as they shimmered in the light of candles in the windows, fires burning in the hearths and the stars in the heavens.
"Surveying your kingdom My Lady?"
Arthur's voice startled Gwen for a moment. But as he slipped his arms around her from behind she relaxed in to him. "I think you'll find it is your kingdom My Lord." She leaned into Arthur's chest more and Arthur's arms tightened around her. He had discarded his gilet somewhere, and now just wore his breeches and a loose shirt. She could feel his heart beating against her back.
"Not mine," he said reverently, his nose edging into her hair, "ours."
Gwen turned in Arthur's arms and faced him. "Did you manage to see everyone you wanted to talk to?" She slipped her arms up around Arthur's neck.
Arthur played with one of Gwen's curls that tumbled loosely down her back. "I did. The guests wish you a good night, oh, and Merlin said some gibberish. I think he was trying to say he would see you some time tomorrow, but I'm not sure he knew what he was saying, so I wouldn't take too much notice."
Gwen giggled. "Was he a bit drunk do you think?"
Arthur chuckled deeply. "More than a bit I think. I'm going to take great pleasure in yelling at him tomorrow."
"You'll do no such thing Arthur Pendragon."
Gwen's voice was so stern that Arthur bowed his head, before raising it again and grinning. "Spoil-sport." The two laughed and then Arthur went on. "Actually I think Gwaine might be a bad influence on Merlin."
Gwen nodded and her lips curled into a smile. "I know he is, but why in particular, what have they done this time?"
Arthur shook his head. "Oh nothing, it was just that as I left they were dancing on a table-top together, drawing quite a crowd they were."
Gwen sighed. "Oh well, hopefully neither of them will remember in the morning."
Arthur beamed wickedly. "Unless someone reminds them, for their own good of course."
"Arthur, you really are a…."
But suddenly Arthur was kissing her and any thought of Merlin or Gwaine, or anyone else flew out of Guinevere's head. Gwen's hands moved from around Arthur's neck, her hands latching on to his hair as she kissed him in return, the blonde locks catching between her slim fingers.
Guinevere was so caught up in Arthur's kiss that she was shocked when he suddenly pulled his lips from hers. "Before we….before we go any further," he indicated the bed that stood behind them, "I need to say something, something I should have said a long time ago, but never felt able to, at least not in so many words, until now."
Arthur sounded so solemn that for a moment Gwen was worried. The concern vanished when Arthur clasped her hands in both of his. He held her hands between their bodies, over his heart. She went to open her mouth to say something, but found the words wouldn't come. Instead, she waited.
Arthur Pendragon sighed and clasped Guinevere's hands tighter, as if his life depended on her. "I just…I just wanted to say….I love you."
Guinevere's heart pounded in her chest. "Arthur…"
Arthur cut her off. "I know I have sort of said it before, or at least I have tried to say it without using the actual words, hoping you would understand, but now we're married, within a few days you will be my Queen, so I thought it only right that I should say it now….before we…Before we go to bed and I forget that I never did say it after all."
"I've never loved another."
"It's what you do when you love someone."
The words Arthur used to show his feelings in the past, during times when he really shouldn't have been saying anything at all to her, washed over Gwen. The memory of those times burned within her, the sadness, the longing for someone she was sure she would never have, the hope as the unimaginable seemed possible after all. But now he was saying the words. It meant more than she would ever be able to say.
"Arthur, I…" Guinevere's lips were stilled as Arthur placed his finger over them.
"I also wanted to say thank you."
Gwen's eyes widened. "F-for what?" She hardly recognised the sound of her own voice, it was filled with emotion.
Arthur looked out of the window for a moment, as if he was gathering himself, then he turned back to Gwen. "For so many things Guinevere, so many things." He gathered himself again. "You've never lost faith in me, even when I've let you down, even when I failed you and allowed your father to…." Arthur couldn't finish. He stared down at Gwen's hands, unable to look her in the face.
"I never blamed you for that, not really." Gwen couldn't think of what else to say. The memory of that time, the loss of her father, a good man, still hurt, but that didn't make it Arthur's fault.
Arthur nodded, still staring at Gwen's hands. "I know, but you know as well as I do, if I'd just behaved like a Prince and stood up to my father it might not have happened. I might have been able to save your father."
Gwen shook her head. Part of her wanted to say that it was Uther who was responsible for her father's death, no one else, but even now, after the passage of time, she couldn't bring herself to say the words. Whatever Uther had done he was still Arthur's father.
After several long moments Gwen found the words she wanted to say. "Do you know why I believe in you Arthur, why my faith in you is so strong?"
Arthur shook his head. "No, I've never understood." A wry huff of laughter escaped him.
Gwen sighed. "It's because you care about your people. It's because you want to make life better for all of your people, not just those with money and titles. It's because you have learned when you have made mistakes and not made them again."
"Isn't it better not to make mistakes in the first place?" Arthur asked, when he'd thought about what Gwen was saying. He remembered Gaius, how he so nearly had allowed Gaius to be put to death, just as he had Gwen's father, until Gwen made him realise what he was doing.
Gwen shrugged. "I don't know, maybe we have to make mistakes to learn from them. That's what you have done Arthur, you've learned, and that is why I have faith in you. You are not so set in your ways that you can not learn from people, all sorts of people, and that will help you to be a great King."
Suddenly Arthur looked up from Gwen's hands. He stared straight into her eyes. "You will make me a great King, you and your love. I mean it when I say that I could not do it without you. I told you once that I meant it when I told my father that I would give up my right to the throne for you and I still mean it. I love Camelot, I love its people. I love everything it stands for. I love what we will make Camelot, you and I, together. But above all else Guinevere, I love you, and I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of you, and thanking you for choosing to spend the rest of your life with me."
Gwen wanted to reply. She wanted to tell Arthur that she was the unworthy one, that she would show him that he had made the right choice in asking her to be his Queen, but she still could not find the words. So, taking his hand she led him to the bed.
As Arthur reached for her in the candle-lit room, leaning towards her for a kiss as he tilted her towards the bed, Gwen decided that there was time for more words later. For now she would show Arthur how she felt. She had the rest of her life to spend telling him. She had forever.
A/N There we are, the final part of The Word Of A King, my first ever Merlin based fic. The careful readers among you might see that I have created an opening in this for a Merlin sorcerer reveal fic, which I might write if this gets good reviews. We'll see. For now my apologies for taking so long to finish this. I hope the wait was worth it.
