III. BABY SHOWER

Ty Lee looks up from painting her nails (with a globby, expired bottle of bright pink polish) the precise moment Azula delivers the juicy gossip about Zuko and his girlfriend. She knows she should have kept it secret, but she does not care.

"Ooo," coos Ty Lee excitedly, "we should throw Jin a baby shower!"

Azula was expecting a crueler reaction from her friends. How disappointing.

"I still don't understand why someone would bring a baby into this world," says Katara with a partial frown etched on her face. "It seems cruel to the infant, to the parents…"

"Okay, how do you even throw a baby shower in the apocalypse?" Mai asks, focusing on the important question with the least philosophy attached.

Ty Lee finishes painting her nails and caps the bottle before utterly ignoring her best friend and asking her girlfriend, "Is he gonna marry her?"

Azula coldly replies, "There is no structure of law in the country anymore. Marriage would be pointless."

"Really?" Ty Lee's brow knits, worried to the core that Azula devalues the love portion of marriage so greatly. "I think, if I can say it and stuff and I mean you're right of course Azula but I do think love counts for something even without legal papers and an official ceremony."

"Love," says Azula sardonically, "is worth something. It breeds trust and a positive symbiotic relationship while facing the hordes of the undead and the collapsed dredges of society. Marriage is worthless. End of discussion."

"Discussion ended!" chirps Ty Lee, laughing nervously and blushing bright red.

Katara watches the scene with sheer pity in her protuberant cobalt eyes. She makes a mental note to have a long talk with Ty Lee about healthy relationships later.

This cannot be good for them, even if Ty Lee and Azula have known each other since kindergarten.

[X]

The next day in the blistering sunlight, Ty Lee walks with Katara along the familiar pattern to the nearest deserted, dilapidated town where they often gather supplies. Mai and Azula are on a different mission together and Katara happily grabs her chance to discuss Azula with Ty Lee in private.

"She's toxic, you know?" remarks Katara, plucking a bracelet from the dust.

"Who?" Ty Lee inquires, squinting from both sunshine and confusion.

Katara does not know why Ty Lee would ever need to ask. "Azula, of course. I'm worried about you getting together with her?"

Huffily, Ty Lee states, "Lemme tell you about the day I met Azula, okay?"

"Okay." Katara hopes it will provide at least some insight into the madness.

Ty Lee softly smiles. "It was the first day of third grade. She had this super amazing aura around her, y'know? Like I didn't know that was what it was called at the time but it was regal. She was like a princess and I was so jealous of her. At recess, I stole her ring. It was so pretty and gold and I don't even know why I took it because I was never like a klepto or anything. But I stole it and I took it home and I felt like mega guilty."

"As a thief should." Katara smiles.

Ty Lee scrunches up her face. "Oh come on. We're basically thieves now."

"More like grave robbers," jabs Katara.

Ty Lee giggles at the joke a little too loud and for a little too long. Katara once found that annoying, but, over time, it has become rather endearing.

"Anyway, I stole her ring and I got home and I felt awful so, like remember those school directory things back when everybody needed phone books and phones with those super fun cords?"

"I am the same age as you, so yes."

"Right. I looked up her number in the school directory and I called her and told her what happened. She hung up. So, I rode my bike three streets over to her address. I knocked on the door and her cute older brother answered."

Katara cocks an eyebrow. Zuko? "Not cute. Kinda weird and angry but go on."

"She came out to get the ring back and a spider fell on my head. I totally freaked out and she just smacked it off of me so brave. Then her mom invited us in to make gingersnap cookies. We were like best friends after that."

"Great example of how you are too sweet and a pushover and obsessive and she is violent and violent and, oh, violent."

Ty Lee harrumphs indignantly and shifts tactics. "Didn't you ever hear the saying that love could be labeled poison and we would drink it anyway?"

Before Katara can rebut the statement, a gunshot fires and they both instinctively hit the deck. Katara grabs a wheelbarrow and flips it over as cover for them on their way down.

"What are we up against?" asks Katara.

Ty Lee peeks above the wheelbarrow shield. "Raiders. Like six or seven of them."

The fight begins in a split second. A shootout in a contemporary ghost town. Ty Lee would find it to be glamorous and romantic were it not for the reality of the bullets flying.

"There are way too many. Did they get backup or something?" Katara asks, cobalt eyes wide. She lifts her gun up facing backwards behind her head and pulls the trigger. Nothing. "Fuck. I'm out!"

Ty Lee glances over her shoulder and sees lackadaisical zombies slowly making their way towards the clash between living, breathing humans. She jumps to her feet and starts running, ready to lure them, dancing between bullets as she hurries. Katara picks up Ty Lee's dropped pistol and attempts something like covering fire (if someone can do that with only a few bullets left).

She kicks over a trash can to draw a few more in and then starts running right towards the people shooting at her. As the zombies grasp for her braid, she dives back beside Katara and lets the raiders absorb themselves in a second, much more pressing battle.

"Come on," Ty Lee says, suddenly noticing the pain in her body from jumping to the ground so quickly.

She grabs Katara with her nonpainful arm and they run as fast as they can away from the clash between zombies and raiders. They run until they can no longer catch their breath and then stop.

Ty Lee says through clenched teeth, "I'm in a lot of pain."

"That's understandable. Your arm is broken," announces Katara upon mere seconds of examination.

"Yeah. It definitely feels that way," whimpers Ty Lee in earnest.

Katara examines the arm in question one more time and then decides, "We'll quit the mission for now and I'll get you back to Republic City."

Ty Lee just nods.

She never has been one to make her own decisions.

[X]

Meanwhile, Azula walks with Mai across unfamiliar ground. It actually is quite pleasant today. Streams, trees, minimal decomposing corpses. They only needed to put down one zom this morning so far. A blissful, beautiful day that ought not be ruined with relationship chatter.

So Mai says strictly, "I desperately, desperately do not want to talk about your relationship with Ty Lee."

"Good. I have no desire to discuss it either," coldly replies Azula, tossing a box of Advil into her leather messenger bag. "We played seven minutes in Heaven once."

Mai blinks and freezes in her tracks. "How have you never told me that?"

Azula dismissively waves her hand. "It was at that birthday party she shared with her twin sister."

"She shared all of her birthday parties with her twin sister. They're twins."

Azula glares and huffily replies, "Her fourteenth, I think. The last one before the apocalypse started. She tried to teach me to flirt at it."

"Ohhh, now I remember. That was equal parts hysterical and disastrous." Mai almost smiles remembering that wild nightmare of a night.

Azula hisses, "You shut up before I hurt you."

The girls keep scavenging in silence for some time.

Mai takes a breath. This is the last thing she wants to do, yet, she forces herself to say, "I know that Ty Lee will never stand up to you. That's why I think you should keep her limitations in mind. She'd do anything for you." Azula looks oddly pleased by that; she shows her teeth when she grins, a very rare occurrence for a girl who almost solely smirks. Her smile reminds Mai of a cemetery gate. "Is that why you like her? Because she'd do anything for you."

"Look, I know her, and I know her limitations. I've known her for a long time. She's the kind of person who eats too much sugar but drinks pure pomegranate juice because it's good for her. She's the kind of person who takes too many photos, selfies, and her friends, and nature. She's good at growing plants; I never had the knack for it. Remember those weird pink flowers in her windowbox? She named them all. She got excited about buying fresh peaches. She always took her high heels off to run in the park. But she also always had a pair of brass knuckles in the pocket of her shirt and a switchblade in her purse. I know her. Stop pretending I exclusively use people because they're useful to me. Sometimes I use them because I like them."

The two girls stop in front of an overturned train.

Mai says with a slight sigh, "Let's stop talking about Ty Lee and go kill some zombies."

Azula just nods.

She has no desire to discuss her relationship any further.

[X]

The four girls regroup in their dormitory after a rather ordinary day of combat and gossip. Ty Lee lies in bed, magazine in one hand, awkwardly flipping it with the fingertips of her broken arm. Mai and Azula sit on the other side of the room and Katara perches herself on the dirty windowsill.

Ty Lee sings out, "Who wants to know their horoscope?"

Azula icily breathes, "Our horoscopes from before the world ended? Many, many moons ago?"

Ty Lee smiles, brushing off Azula's mockery with practiced ease. "Yeah!" she chirps, batting her eyelashes. "They're still fun even if they aren't recent." Silence. "Okay, if nobody's volunteering I'll just tell you anyways! Azula's an Aries, Mai is a Virgo, I'm, like duh, a Gemini and I'd bet you anything that Katara is a Pisces."

Katara offers a smile, and corrects, "Aquarius."

"Close enough! Both are water signs," Ty Lee says, her smile turning into a grimace as she flips the magazine page.

Mid wince of pain, Ty Lee drops her magazine, fumbling with her sling, and sighs.

Azula states, heart racing at the very idea of offering assistance, "Let me help you with that."

"What?" Ty Lee asks, agape.

Azula fights back the pride rising in the back of her throat like white hot vomit. "Your arm is broken. Let me lift this for you."

Ty Lee persists, "You've never helped me with something before."

Azula shoots a glare that would silence an emperor or stop a zombie in its tracks. "I do what I want, Ty Lee. Stop questioning me."

Ty Lee dares to ask, "Could you grab my lipstick while you're down there, please?"

"No." Azula's gilded eyes smolder. "I am no one's slave and I do not do fetch quests."

Katara hops down from the windowstill and interjects, "You literally do fetch quests every single day. You're a professional scavenger."

"She's still better than any ex-boyfriend of mine I've ever had!" chirps Ty Lee eagerly.

"That is true," says Mai.

Azula smirks victoriously.

[X]

A week later, the girls travel across the relatively small campus of Republic City together, clutching gifts for Jin's baby shower.

"You got her a broken wristwatch?"

"The watch is for my brother." Azula smirks as she jingles it in one hand. "It's as broken as his soul. I got her a stupid ball of yarn and some knitting needles."

Ty Lee frowns and turns up her palms in defeat. "I just got her peppermints."

"Why would you get her peppermints?"

"Don't pregnant women, like, crave peppermints?"

"No," reply three girls at once.

Ty Lee pouts.

[X]

After wandering the gigantic, gaudily loud party for a while, Zuko corners the four girls. Azula hands him the watch and the siblings briefly bicker, until Ty Lee interrupts to defend Azula and Zuko does not have the strength to argue.

Zuko says with an absentminded motion of his hand, "Oh, And we want you two to be the godparents."

Mai interrupts, "You know they're going to last like two weeks, right?"

"I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about you and Katara," says Zuko.

Mai's eyes widen. No one ever thought her face could be so expressive until this moment.

"Uh, okay," she says, looking to Katara for help and receiving none whatsoever.

"Wait, that isn't fair. I'm your sister!" Azula exclaims, clenching her fists.

"And I'm great with kids!" protests Ty Lee, pouting.

Zuko says, "And you both are wicked hyenas who shouldn't be trusted with children."

Azula scowls.

Ty Lee pouts.

Mai still has no idea what to say.