Note that I am ignoring everything past Season Two of Torchwood, as it would be too difficult to incorporate "Children of Earth" and "Miracle Day" into the Avengers continuity.

I am planning on writing an expanded version of the last scene in an M rated ficlet, but I wanted to keep the rating T for the fic as a whole for those who don't read M fics.

...

Stark and Loki sped to investigate their visitor.

Jack Harkness turned out to be tall and well-built, with a chin to rival Steve's, a roguish glint to his eye to rival Stark's, and carefully hidden sadness and regret to rival Banner's. Though the weather was not that chilly he wore a long, dark blue coat with military stylings. He also had a leather strap around his wrist with a screen and lots of little buttons. He had not rung the doorbell of the ground-floor entrance, but rather the balcony outside Stark's penthouse where he would land after a flight, and often Thor as well. The bell had been installed to keep Thor from knocking and consequently shattering all the glass.

"Avengers, assemble," Stark announced after pressing one of the many intercom buttons scattered throughout the building. "Landing pad."

Harkness waved cheerfully. "I come in peace."

"JARVIS, weapons scan," Stark said.

"Subject has a knife in each boot, a World War II-era service pistol and rounds of ammunition strapped to his hip, and some kind of laster blaster of unknown technology in his rectum."

Stark winced. "That can't be comfortable."

"I've had bigger things up there. Lots. I promise the weapons are all strictly precautionary." Steve and Thor arrived next, only a little flushed. But Harkness picked up on it immediately. "Oh, sorry for the interruption; I know how frustrating that can be. Especially with two gorgeous samples of beefcake."

Now Steve was cherry red. "I..um...um...you...uh..."

Thor gave Mjolnir a twirl. "Do not cause distress to my lover. It will not go well for you."

"I can see that. It's sweet. In any case, if you would be nice enough to let me in...it's a bit windy out here and I hate it when I fall off tall buildings..."

"What's this about?" Banner asked, taking a place beside Stark.

"I'm Jack Harkness, and who are you?"

Loki cleared his throat. "The artificial intelligence said you had a message for me."

"Right. Yes. Yes. Sorry, getting distracted by all the pretty...well hi there..."

Barton and Natasha rushed over, Natasha's hair a mess and Barton's quiver over the wrong shoulder.

"Nice job, you two; we might have been killed already," Stark scolded.

"The message!" Loki growled.

Harkness had the decency to look abashed, at least. "My apologies. I just got a ride from the Doctor - we used to travel together - and he wanted me to tell you that the Chitauri have been dealt with and will not be hunting you down. I think they upset him but he didn't elaborate. Also, my own special-ops team has been destroyed and disbanded, and the only other living member is in witness protection. He suggested I apply for a job here."

...

The Avengers sat in a semicircle in the fifteenth-floor conference room. Loki wasn't in handcuffs this time, a testament to how far he'd made it in their estimation. Fury was busy off talking to the press and Coulson doing something bureaucratic, necessary, and dull.

Agent Hill leveled her steely gaze on Harkness. "You're keeping me from a date with Pepper, so I hope you're cooperative and not a headache. What exactly are your qualifications?"

"Several centuries defending the Earth from alien threats and arming it against the future," Harkness replied with an easy smile.

"Centuries?"

"I usually don't reveal this sort of thing this early in a business relationship, but the Doctor was adamant that you have someone on your staff who knows the wider universe, beyond the Asgardian lore about the Nine Realms - not to disparage either of you fine individuals, and when I say fine - but I digress. And the Doctor himself is busy right now. On his honeymoon. Sort of. It's complicated." Harkness turned his head to Thor. "To resolve this as quickly as possible, would you please hit me as hard as you can with your hammer, sir?"

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," Banner began, but it was too late.

"You've killed him!" Steve cried.

"I only did as I was asked," Thor whispered, looking like his world had shattered.

Stark said slowly, "Ooh, it's going to be tough getting that out of the carpet."

"Nonsense," Loki said, surprised at his own voice. He usually kept quiet during meetings, so cognizant of his being the odd man out. "He wouldn't have asked if he did not have some power that...there."

Harkness sat up again, gasping. "So, sufficient proof that I would be an asset?"

Agent Hill pursed her lips. "We'll put you in the cell in the basement while I discuss this intel with the rest of SHIELD. Your effects have been moved to other portions of that floor, yes, Loki?"

"Yes, Agent," Loki replied.

...

"They kept me here for a while, until they were convinced I had become a 'better person'," Loki explained. "There's a kitchen, bath, lavatory, bedroom, all the essentials. How long did you travel with the Doctor, Mr. Harkness?"

"Please, it's Jack." He stripped off his coat and flopped down on the sofa, then posed with a hand beneath his head like some kind of magazine cover model. "Only a few months the first time, then a year the second time. Though there wasn't much 'travel' the second time. But that's a different story I don't feel like going into right now. I had an accident involving raw Time energy and an ill-advised attempt to bring me back to life."

"Ah. The spell was too strong?"

"Exactly. You're a smart one. I do seem to be aging very slowly, but not even the Doctor knows what'll happen."

Loki nervously ran a hand through his own hair. "I should leave you to your rest, then."

"You really shouldn't."

"Shouldn't I?"

"Solitary confinement is cruel." Jack patted the space beside him. "You'd be more than welcome."

"I..."

"You seem stressed."

Unable to stand it anymore, Loki blurted out, "Your scent. It's intoxicating. I don't know why the others haven't commented on it."

"51st-Century pheromones. It only works on beings that consider themselves unattached, that are actively looking for sex and/or affection. Cuts down on the squabbles that way. Has anyone told you that looking into your eyes causes unearthly, transcendental bliss?"

Ye gods, now Loki was blushing. "But what..."

"I know the myths, though I don't know how true they are. I got pregnant myself once, with the assistance of technology - didn't particularly enjoy it. I've no objection to anything you might have down there, Loki. I've had fun with penises, vaginas, anuses, tentacles, cloacas, oviposters - if the being attached to it was sentient, of age, and willing, I've probably given them the time of their life. Now will you come and lie down with me before you get some sort of aneurysm with all the shaking and sweating you're doing?"

Deliberately, slowly, Loki engaged the mechanism that would only allow him to unlock the door, from the inside or the outside. "Bed. More space," he whispered.

He wondered if Jack could tell this was his first sober kiss. It certainly wasn't Jack's. Loki almost came there and then from the depth and warmth of it. And true to his claim, the only things Jack said to Loki as they coupled were beautiful and yes and I've got you, don't worry, I've got you.