Authors Note:

Dear Readers, Thanks for reading! If you like this story please let me know! If you have theories, comments or questions I would love to hear them!

So if you haven't figured out by now this story is going to be Dean centric, ProtectiveSam!, a total AU, John Winchester is a terrible father (abusive), not a deathfic. That is all I will give away for now. Thanks for reading!

Dean's killed Sammy. The older boy clutches his younger brother to his chest wrapping his body around the younger boy to try and protect him as they drop. It not going to make the difference. Even using his body as a cushion, they are too high. He thought he could fly. Thought he could save Sammy. He was wrong. He still has his wings out but they are made of baby down not flight feather and the wind whips at them ripping feathers out and causing the boys to tumble wildly. Sorry Sammy. Dean squeezes his eyes closed hugging Sammy tight. A sharp pressure grasps Dean on the upper arm halting the free fall. Green eyes snap open to a flurry of massive raven feathers that block out the stars. Royal blue eyes bore into the boy's soul as the children are pulled to the safety of the man's arms; cradled against his chest. Sam's eyes are still shut tight not opening from the moment the wolf lunged for him.

"Are you going to take us to Mommy?" asked Dean. Dying hurt less than he thought. The angel tilted it head to the side slightly as if puzzled.

"No, Heaven has work for you, Dean Winchester." Placing to fingers on the boys forehead Castiel sent the boy to a peaceful sleep. Even in sleep Dean's arms wrapped protectively around his little brother. Great midnight wings flex effortlessly downward sending the trio towards the stars. He sours soundlessly over the tree tops until he spots the Impala. A car that he has watched from a distance for years. Tucking his wings slightly he flutters down gently phasing through the cars roof. He lays the boys softly on the back seat. A small smile graces the angel's face as he pulls a worn blanket over the brothers to keep them warm. He has watched over the brothers since before they were born but this was the first time he had interacted with them or for that matter the humans in thousands of years. And while Heaven may have plans for Dean Winchester he was just a child. At the moment, not a weapon to be wielded, but an innocent soul to be protected. His gaze fell on the smaller child. He frowns. The aura coming from the younger brother made his grace shiver. John Winchester soul was growing closer and Castiel took this as his cue to depart. The Winchesters were once again a lone in the dark.

Castiel returned to Heaven to pray and mediate for guidance. It had been along time since he had heard his Father's voice and he hoped to receive his word. Angels are not like humans in the fundamental sense. The difference is an angel's grace. The angel's grace can possess a human if given permission and then it manifests itself as wings due to human perception of what an angel should look like. The wings are unique to the angel. Castiel are the glossy black of a raven. It is a lose rule that angel wings correspond to those of natural birds and their power and importance is often mimicked in their feather equivalents. For example less powerful angels like cupids, angels whose only job is to bring together true love have song bird wings. Warrior angels tended to have wings that matched birds of prey, hawks, owls, and falcons with their commanders sporting eagle wings. Anna wings are those of a red-tailed hawk. Like the English language there are more exceptions than examples that obey. Archangels for one don't have natural wings. They are after all the embodiment of power. The distance memories of archangels remind Cas of Lucifer's crimson feathers, Gabriel's golden ones, and Michael's snow white wings. In every case Castiel had ever seen the vessels wings matched those of the possessing angel. The Micheal sword's wings had blue streaks edging the feathers. This puzzled Castiel. It didn't match the picture of the big plan that he had been told since the beginning. It was not as it had been fated. While it was true archangel required special vessels, powerful non-human vessels could this cause the difference? Afterall the boy had a touch of his own grace. After all normal vessels didn't have wings until after they were possessed. A human soul, a small nuclear reactor linked directly to angel grace, left without Michael the boy could grow very powerful. Perhaps even more powerful then the archangels themselves. With Michael there would be no question of Heaven's victory. Angels were unlike humans in another way as well. From the moment they are create they know their purpose. It is a mission that is woven into their grace. It is the equivalent to a human's career in that the angels most of their time learning and accomplishing the task but it more than that since it is linked to the angels happiness. For Michael it is to lead the heaven's legions as an archangel. Anna is a warrior angel ready and willing to smite evil. Castiel is a guardian angel whose purpose is to protect his charge. He is not special in being a guardian angel however he had been given a rather rough case protecting a Nephilim had proved to tougher than expected. It was almost like the Winchester name was cursed. Other Guardian angels had to deal with sickness, car accidents, and dark alleys. Castiel had to deal with hell hounds and demons. Not that he begrudged his task. If angels could have emotions, he might even claim he had become quite fond of his charge.

He stood in a memory at the moment. A memory he had viewed many times because it had greatly affected the destiny of his charge. His tan trench coat and black primary feathers brushed the long grass at the road side. The same car he had just left moments ago sits on the curb. It is the same shade as his feathers. A blond woman clutches a much younger John Winchester to her chest. His heart no longer beats. Tears stream down Mary Winchester face as she holds the body of her beloved. She will do anything to save him and the demon Azazel knows it.

"I can bring him back. All I need is permission that in a few years I can come into your house with your child for a few minutes and not be interrupted. It's a good deal. No one will die or hurt as long as I'm left alone. What do you say? You'll have everything you ever waited. Leave the hunting life, have John and a family? Or say no and be left completely alone."

At the time Castiel had wanted to interfere. To heal John Winchester himself to save the small family from pain but his superior had order him against it since it was fated for Mary to deal with the demon. It left a bad taste in Castiel mouth but who was he to question Heaven's plans?

The memory shifts and this time he is in a warehouse it is covered in angel summoning symbols but they aren't meant for him. They are meant for someone much more powerful. Mary isn't ready to roll over and let a demon do his will with her future children. She wants a family but she wants to ensure their safety before having them like any good Mother. So she makes another deal. A balding overweight man with a pinched face in a gray suit smiles at Mary looking like he had just sold the deal of the century. Zachariah's turkey tail fans out with pride. However, he is not the angel the warding is for either.

"So is that a yes?"

Mary clenches her fist. There is a determination in her green eyes that suddenly reminds Castiel of her son.

"Will my child be safe from the demons influence?"

"Of course. Once Michael possesses you your child will be born a Nephilim he will be strong enough to burn any demon taint from his blood. You don't even have to be a vessel for very long. Good thing too as your weak shell would melt within days. And as a signing bonus we will throw in a full-time guardian angel."

Castiel frowned at Zachariah's lie. It was unseemly for one of the host. Castiel had been created at the beginning of time to protect Mary's first born whether or not she made the deal.

Mary shallowed hard. "then yes."

It had all gone according to Heaven plan not so much for Mary's. Michael had sired a Nephilim capable of being a powerful vessel for him. What Mary had not known was the angels still needed a vessel for Lucifer. A child tainted with demon blood was still needed. Mary may have saved her first born but the angel left Mary before her second child came to be. Allowing Azazel to stake his claim. The knight of hell was not pleased about loosing out on Winchester's first born but he still got what bargained for in the end.

A flutter of wings to announce another visitor to the memory. Castiel doesn't bother to turn his head to look he just continues to observe the scene before him.

"Anna, it still doesn't feel right. How can we have allowed an innocent soul to be contaminated with demon darkness?"

Anna places a calming hand on her brother's shoulder. She had heard his arguments before and she always replied in the same manner. "It was our orders. Come on Castiel you have spent enough time in these memories, in the guilt. It was necessary if Lucifer is to have a vessel."

"But why start the armageddon? Why release him from his cage? Millions will die. The earth will burn."

Anna gives him a sharp look. "Careful, it is not your place to question Heaven's will. Just obey it."

But blue eyes don't waver as they challenge, "Was it not also our order to protect life? To protect the earth and to save people?"

Anna could not refute his logic. But Heaven's host had no room for free will and Castiel pointing out contradiction could be dangerous. So she replies "mysterious ways…" her wings shift up then drop in a mimic of her shrug. She was expecting an argument but what happens next was so much worse. Castiel wings spasm out ward nearly knocking her aside before snapping protectively around the angel. Castiel doubles over in pain. It feels like his grace is being ripped in half. The next thing he knows long red hair curtains Anna's worried face above him. He is on the ground wings pined at an awkward angle beneath him. The pain is gone replaced a sick thought. He tries to surge to his feet but Anna places a palm on his chest stopping him.

"Are you ok? What happened?" Castiel forces himself up past her hand. He has to go…now…

"I'm fine."

"That not what it looked like," snapped Anna in concern grabbing his forearm to stop him from walking away.

"It wasn't me. It wasn't my pain." Growled Castiel. Fist clenching, wings spreading like a black cloud. Anna eyes go wide at his words face going pale.

"Is he alive?" she asks. Her thought reeling. If he dies thousands of years of planning will be lost.

Castiel closes his eyes concentrating. Like all guardian angels he shares a profound connection with his charge. Normally he can sense emotions, pain and on occasion thoughts from Michael's vessel. Now all he can feel is fear. The worst part is that its not from the connection. It's his own.

"I don't know. I can't feel him."