*Sigh* this has to be one of the longest and most dull chapters I've done for this series in a long time, but hey, it's finally here! FINALLY, the dumb testing chapter is out of the way! Now, I can get to the fun stuff!
Well anyway... enjoy!
"Now get out there and show 'em how the students of the Anko Mitarashi Style get it done!" Anko encouraged her students with a playful slap on the butt.
"Yes, ma'am!" Naruto and Hinata said together enthusiastically as they departed to test with their new teachers, exchanging a high-five as they separated to different training grounds.
Hinata met up with her new teammates, though Kurenai was nowhere to be seen.
"You're here, good." Shino Aburame nodded. "Then we have time to strategize before the test can begin; previously, Kurenai-sensei tested our tracking abilities, having us locate and obtain an artifact we could only find with our collective efforts. Though tracking may have a hand in this new test, I recommend we work together to formulate a stratagem in the event that all assumptions of what our new test may be are false." Shino ceased his rambling when he realized that one of his teammates seemed to not be paying attention. "Kiba?"
"Uh?" Kiba, who's eyes had been magnetically attracted to Hinata's bust, snapped out of his trance for a moment to respond. "Ah, yeah! Yeah, absolutely, I agree! We should... Definitely, er... do that."
"Good to know we're in agreement." Shino nodded. "Now, I'm inclined to believe that this next test may be combat-focused, which is why I suggest..."
"Kiba, is something wrong?" Hinata blinked curiously. "You seem like you don't feel well..."
"Ah, n-no! I feel great!" Kiba blurted impulsively. "Awesome, even! Right, Akamaru?!" Akamaru yapped his readiness, though gave what one could only assume was a sigh as his owner's attention drifted back towards the 'bump' in Hinata's jacket.
"Ah?!" Hinata squeaked, crossing her arms over her chest, blushing furiously. It had only dawned on her that she forgot to do as Kurenai suggested, by wearing proper support. "I was just so nervous; my chest was hurting too much..." She thought, flustered.
"Oh, I'm sorry..." She muttered timidly. "P-please, Shino. Continue."
Naruto, meanwhile, had just made his way to the training grounds, only to find two impatient faces looking back at him.
"You're seriously later than Kakashi-sensei?!" Sakura grunted irritably. "That's just so twisted."
"Getting in our way, and we haven't even tested yet." Sasuke muttered.
"Hey, shuddup!" Naruto spoke up indignantly. "I was held up, okay?"
"Clearly..." Kakashi sniffed, smelling something distinctly sweet.
"Gross..." Sakura grumbled.
"At any rate... let's get started." Kakashi pulled two tiny bells out of his pocket and showed them clearly to his squad. By Sakura's and Sasuke's expressions, Naruto could tell that they knew already where he was going with this.
"Your objective is to take these bells from me." The masked Jounin stated. "If you can capture them by noon, you pass. If not, well..." His one exposed eye drifted.
"Is that it?!" Naruto smirked, slamming a fist into his open hand. "Okay, they're mine!" he lunged at Kakashi, who whirled him around and pushed him away so fast, Naruto didn't even see his hands move.
"Show some patience." Kakashi sighed. "I didn't say you could start yet."
Elsewhere, Kurenai had just arrived to test her own team, to find that they appeared prepared for whatever she had planned.
"Good morning." She said calmly. "Are you ready?" Hinata couldn't help but notice that Kurenai seemed like she was specifically talking to her.
"Ready!" Kiba smirked, with Akamaru giving his bark of confirmation.
"Ready." Shino nodded.
"Yes, ma'am. I am ready." Hinata took a deep, preparative breath.
"Good. Because today's test will be different from the one that Kiba and Shino have undertaken." Kurenai stated.
"Just as I'd expected." Shino thought, unfazed.
"So what're we doing this time around?" Kiba asked.
"A game of tag." Kurenai replied.
"A... um, are you serious?" Kiba blinked.
"Yes. As soon as I say 'go', all three of you will be 'it', and in order to pass, at least one of you has to tag me by noon. Are there any questions?"
"None here, let's go!" Kiba snapped, jumping at Kurenai, who vanished just as the striking boy came within arm's reach, Kiba gasping as he ran headlong into a tree.
"Did she just...?!" Hinata winced. "That wasn't a body flicker Kurenai-sensei just used. So then what...?"
Akamaru gave several muffled sounds as he sniffed around, confused as to where Kurenai could have gone. The little pup yelped as the female Jounin emerged from the grounds as though growing like a tree.
"Please show some restraint." Kurenai groaned. "I didn't say 'go' yet. Honestly, you did the exact same thing last time..."
"Sorry, guess I just can't quite control my own strength." Kiba chuckled as he and Akamaru rejoined Shino and Hinata.
"Right..." Kurenai muttered. "If you're all ready...? GO!"
Hinata, Kiba, and Shino all disappeared in a massive blur, while Kurenai simply walked into the woods at a leisurely pace. "A good Shinobi knows the importance of being able to blend into their surroundings; to attack where their enemy is most vulnerable." She paused, her bright crimson eyes scanning her surroundings. It was only because of her heightened senses as a Jounin and master of Genjutsu that she knew where all three of her opponents (four, if including Akamaru) hid, but putting aside that training, she had to admit, their concealment was largely very well done... largely.
All around her, she could hear the rustling of foliage and the snarls of beasts, which could only have originated from Kiba and his little hound. "He's attempting an intimidation tactic." She observed. "But intimidation in his case only serves to give away his position."
Shino, meanwhile, continued his concealment, intent on keeping himself hidden as best as possible, and even Kurenai could admit that she was beginning to lose track of him. She recalled in the previous test that Shino was the one to watch out for most.
"What of Hinata, though...?" She wondered. She searched for Hinata's chakra to find that the Hyuuga girl was still standing at the same post that she started out leaning against. "What is she doing? Is she waiting for something? Or could she be too scared to pursue me...?"
"She's distracted!" Kiba grinned, thinking his target had dropped her guard. "Now's our chance!"
Kurenai simply jerked to the side just as Kiba and Akamaru sprung at her, evading both attackers effortlessly.
"You know," She said, her mind still on the steadfast Hinata. "You won't be able to catch me alone."
"Yeah, well, funny thing." Kiba sneered as Akamaru turned into an exact copy of his owner.
"I'm not exactly alone!" Naruto smirked. "Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Countless replicas of Naruto surrounded Kakashi, every one of them poised to strike.
"So this is the technique he used to beat Mizuki..." The masked Jounin thought, just as the army of one made their assault. "Sorry..." He said casually as he thwarted about ten clones. "But I'm not a pushover like Mizuki was. You're going to have to do better than that if you want to take the bells."
"How about this, then?" Naruto called, unleashing a second wave of clones on Kakashi, which were extinguished just as easily as the last one. Following that, a third, and fourth wave.
"If the first blind charge fails, then the others will be sure to fail as well." Kakashi sighed. "That's basic battlefield knowledge..." He broke off as he found Naruto to be nowhere in sight. "Well, I suppose I have to give you some credit for knowing the basics of retreat."
He stood motionless in the center of the training field for several minutes of silence, waiting for another attempt at the bells' capture that he knew would inevitably come. About 30 minutes had passed, he began to grow bored, and thought about searching for the Genin, before Naruto once again tried to get the jump on his teacher.
"GOTCHA!" He yelled, making a desperate leap for the prize, before Kakashi jerked away, batting Naruto away with an almost lazy backhand.
"A word of advice?" He said. "Save the loud shouting until AFTER you land your mark."
"Thanks for the tip, sensei." Naruto smirked. Kakashi winced as he felt someone grab him from behind.
"GOTCHA!" It was one of Naruto's Shadow Clones. The real Naruto made another grab for the prize, but what he grasped was not the pair of bells hanging from Kakashi's vest, but a green coin purse that looked like a cartoony frog.
"Eh?!" He blurted out. It was then that he realized that he just stole from the pocket of his own clone. "Where'd he go?!"
"What a loser, falling for a simple Substitution Jutsu." Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"You'll have to do better than that." Naruto whirled around to find Kakashi standing behind him as though waiting on him for hours as he read a small orange book.
"Eh?" He blinked. "What're you reading for?"
"Oh?" Kakashi replied lazily. "Well, for the enticing story, of course." He showed Naruto the cover. "I recommend this book when you're old enough."
"Books aren't my thing." Naruto rolled his eyes. "I've always preferred movies."
"Really, Naruto." Kakashi sighed amusedly. "If you really want to be a good Hokage like I hear you've always wanted to be, you should read a bit more. It's good for your brain. I'm sure you've read at least one book that you like?"
Naruto pondered Kakashi's words for a moment. "Best book I've read was something called 'Not So Gentle Fist?'. I mean, I liked the movie version too, but the book's just kinda better, I think." He remembered Anko assigning him both movie and book versions of this erotic story during her year of teaching.
"You WOULD like that one, wouldn't you?" Kakashi laughed. "Books are almost always better than their movie counterparts that way. If you're looking for a good read," He showed Naruto the orange book he was currently reading. "You should give the Icha Icha series a try. It might be hard for you to purchase it, all things considered, but..."
"No, it wouldn't." Naruto corrected. "I think I remember seeing that one on Anko's bookshelf once."
"Really?" Kakashi looked up from his reading material interestedly. "Sounds like she has some pretty good taste in books. Any idea if she happens to have 'The Voyage Between the Valleys?'"
"Ugh, are they really having a conversation about smut books?" Sakura thought with exasperation.
"This is just getting stupid." Sasuke sighed. "Wrap it up, idiot."
Meanwhile, Team 8's situation took something of an odd turn; what started as a game of cat (or rather dog) and mouse between Kiba and Kurenai turned into a dog-cat-and-mouse, with Kurenai pursuing Hinata, while the Genjutsu master herself was being hunted down by Kiba, with Shino still nowhere to be seen.
"At first was Hinata that concerned me..." Kurenai thought as Hinata tried desperately to hide from her. "But now I've lost all track of Shino. Did they plan this? Or could it just be... no, that CAN'T be a coincidence!"
"They're almost in position..." Shino observed, waiting for the perfect instance to intercept and complete the test.
"There!" She only saw him for a fraction of a second, but Kurenai understood in that half-second her students' plan. Though she admired their coordination, she couldn't end the test here. She had just enough time to make one hand sign before Kiba pounced, grabbing the Jounin around the middle.
"You're mine!" Kiba shouted triumphantly as both he and Kurenai tumbled to the ground.
"Kiba... please let go." Kurenai's face gave her namesake justice as she turned bright crimson, as Kiba's hands were currently squeezing her breasts.
"Ah, come on. Think of this as my reward for passing!" Kiba laughed as he rubbed Kurenai's boobs some more.
"What are you talking about?!" Kurenai screamed. "Kurenai-sensei is getting away!"
"Eh?" Kiba looked down in bewilderment as the red-eyed Jounin he was groping faded into a pale-eyed Genin. "Hinata?" Kurenai had made her escape, turning Hinata into a decoy. "You've got great boobs!"
"Stop it!" Hinata flustered, forcing Kiba away a little harder than she meant to. "Did Kurenai-sensei use Genjutsu?" She asked, knowing that nobody could disappear the way Kurenai did.
"Yeah." Kiba nodded. He winced as he caught a glimpse in the corner of his eyes of something red in the trees. "She's onto Shino." He observed. "Let's move."
"Right."
"Just be on your guard." Kiba warned Hinata as he charged ahead of her. "And keep an eye out for anything... red?" His jaw dropped as he passed through a bush to see that now EVERYTHING in the woods was bright red, with crimson rose-like petals drifting in the breeze. "Oh... this can't be good." Kiba muttered as his head began to feel light.
"Kiba?" Hinata looked at her teammate with worrying eyes. Kiba looked battle ready as he likely saw a hallucination of Kurenai where Hinata stood. "RELEASE!" She shouted, making a hand seal. The rose petals were repulsed from the two Genin, and Kiba flinched as he regained awareness.
"Wha...?" He gasped. "Phew... you saved my ass, Hinata. Thanks. You okay, Akamaru?" Akamaru, who'd been dizzily batting at something invisible, shook himself awake, and yapped his approval. "Great. So, where did you learn to force off Genjutsu like that?"
"My family taught me." Hinata answered. "'A shinobi who can only see with their eyes is a blind shinobi.' I was taught to see through illusion and resist it since I was very young."
"So you can find Kurenai-sensei right now if you could? Even without you-know-what?" Kiba asked, impressed.
"No." Hinata shook her head. "This Genjutsu is so strong... I've never seen anything like it."
"Me neither." Kiba grunted. "She didn't use this kind of power when she tested us the first time."
"I'll find her..." Hinata assured him. "Byakugan!" She formed a hand seal, and the outlines of pupils formed in her eyes. With her clan's all-seeing eyes, she could see through the strange crimson forest of Kurenai's creation, and through the trees that obstructed her vision of Kurenai herself. "There!" She pointed in the direction of her target.
"Alright!" Kiba said enthusiastically, slamming a fist into his hand. "Get me to her, and I'll handle her from there!"
Tired of hiding and listening to Kakashi and Naruto talk about pornography, Sasuke slowly began to work his way behind the scarecrow-like Jounin, all the while surveying him for any openings he could exploit.
"...What fun is it to just read about something, though?" Naruto was saying. "I prefer to see boobs, not read about them."
"You have no imagination, do you?" Kakashi rolled his eye, sounding amused. "First, isn't it more fun to leave things to the imagination? I mean, sure it sucks that you can't see exactly see what Fujika's breasts look like, but isn't it better to leave their beauty to your own interpretation? Besides... I rather admire the posterior more."
"He's blind on his left side." Sasuke observed as he got into position. Indeed, Kakashi seemed none the wiser that both Sasuke and Sakura were hiding to his left, as he continued his absurd conversation with Naruto.
"You're crazy! Haven't you ever felt boobs before?!" the blonde knucklehead pressed on.
"Ah, you underestimate the delights of the derriere..." Kakashi chuckled.
"I almost think Naruto's forgotten that this is supposed to be an exam." Sakura rolled her eyes, repressing an exasperated sigh that might give away her position.
"...You know that breasts exist to nourish babies, correct?" Kakashi taunted. "Only a child would faun so much over such things. I suppose only an adult can appreciate the delights of a good ass."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Naruto snapped.
"Okay, NOW!" Sasuke whipped out several shuriken and kunai, and threw them Kakashi's way. Unfortunately, the Jounin's reaction was not what he expected; Kakashi jumped straight up, resulting in his thrown weapons barely missing Naruto.
"The hell was that for, Sasuke!?" He shouted.
Sasuke ignored him as he jumped into the fray and engaged Kakashi in straight hand-to-hand combat.
"Taijutsu: The physical art." Kakashi said as he lazily batted off several of Sasuke's punches and kicks with a single hand, while the other hand held the orange book that occupied the majority of his attention.
Naruto marveled at Sasuke's taijutsu skill for a moment, before realizing it dawned on him,
"I gotta get a bell first!" He rushed in too, and Kakashi's eye widened as he was forced to put away his book to stave off Naruto's incoming blow.
"Are they really...?!" But his split-second of admiration was regrettably cut off as one misplaced swing resulted in annoyed, pained shouts from both Genin upstarts.
"Stop getting in my way!" Naruto yelled.
"Only when you stop being such a wannabe!" Sasuke retorted.
"I don't know what I was expecting." Kakashi groaned. "So... interfere? Or let them settle their own dispute?" Then his eye fell on the wooded area around him. "We seem to be one short... Eh, these two can settle their own differences." He slipped into the woods undetected by any of the Genin in search of Sakura, who was currently sitting in hiding; not waiting for the right moment to strike, but rather, hidden in a tree while racking her brain for ideas.
"Ino was here with me last time." She thought helplessly. "I don't know how we got Sasuke to cooperate, but we managed to work together to take Kakashi-sensei's bells; Sasuke engaged him to divert his attention, while Ino used her Mind Transfer Jutsu to immobilize him, leaving it up to me to claim the bells."
She remembered Ino making a very noble sacrifice, letting both Sasuke and Sakura take a bell each, letting herself fail for her girlfriend's sake. Because of this sacrifice, though, all three passed. But now, things looked hopeless, with nobody looking to even try to help the other.
"If only Ino were here now..." She sighed.
"Sakura!" A familiar voice called. Sakura looked straight down in delight to see...
"Ino? What are you doing here?" Though happy to see her at first, Sakura's heart plummeted with terror as she laid eyes on a wounded, bloodied Ino. "Wh...? What the hell did he do to you, Ino!?" She screamed loudly before fainting, and falling out of the tree.
"Genjutsu: The Illusionary art. Sorry that I overdid it this time." Kakashi muttered sheepishly, catching Sakura and setting her down softly on the ground. "But, you should learn to see through these things.
"I did." Kakashi gasped as Sakura jumped to her feet and made a snatch for the bells. Her fingers just touched one of them before the Jounin retracted far enough that they were out of reach. "...Well, this time, anyway." Sakura admitted.
"It's good that you're learning, I suppose." Kakashi muttered. "Well, let me see what more you're capable of..." He reached to pull out his book, only to find his pouch strangely more empty than he remembered. "Hm?" He pulled off the pouch and searched it, only to confirm that his book was missing. "No, that can't be right...!" He shook his head, feverishly searching his pack a second time over.
Though initially off-put and bewildered by Kakashi's change in character, it then dawned on Sakura that now was a perfect opportunity for her to claim her prize. "Nicely done, Naruto!" She thought as she quietly dove in to make her strike. However, her action did not go unnoticed by Kakashi, who reached up for his headband, and vanished in a strange flash of bright red light. Sakura hit the ground, dazed and confused at the red light and her teacher's disappearance.
"What the hell just happened?!" Her inner voice raged. "He was there! He was RIGHT! THERE! Our plan was perfect, we had him right in our grasp, and he just... disappeared! How did he even...!?"
Although she could see through it easily, Hinata was still in awe about the tremendous, area-wide Genjutsu that Kurenai had put up to throw off her students. Without her Byakugan, she knew that she would be completely lost like Kiba was, despite what she told him about being able to see past illusions without her infamous eyes.
Though the path that Hinata led was supposed to lead to Kurenai and Shino, only the latter could be found in the clearing they came upon, who appeared to have been caught in the midst of combat not long before the arrival of his other teammates.
"You two seem to have made good friends while we were split up." Shino muttered.
"You're jealous, aren't you?" Kiba laughed tauntingly.
"Hardly." Shino backed away.
"Of course." Kiba rolled his eyes. "Look, if we're going to pass this, we need to take the fight to Kurenai-sensei; we are 'it' after all."
"That's exactly what Kurenai-sensei wants; she went after me to provoke us to make the first move." Shino observed. "She's a Genjutsu master, it's in her fighting instinct to set up a trap and lead her opponents into it."
"Then what do we do?" Hinata asked.
"We spring the trap." Kiba smirked, Akamaru barking his agreement. "We got a teammate who can see through these stupid illusions, so Kurenai wouldn't stand a chance against the four of us!"
"Kiba, that's not how Genjutsu..." Hinata shook her head.
"Just keep your head down, Hinata." said Kiba. "I've got you covered!"
"I suppose..." Shino sighed. "We could attempt a three-on-one strike. Hopefully, we won't lose too much time getting you to realize we need a better strategy."
"Okay, so where is she now then?" asked Kiba, ignoring the possible jab at his intelligence.
"I'm trying to... to find her..." Hinata's ears were overloaded by a strange, high-pitched wailing sound, and she had to strain her eyes to see clearly through the Genjutsu. Her eyes hurting her too much, she deactivated her Doujutsu, and shook her head vigorously in hopes of shaking off whatever Kurenai did to her. "I can't..." She muttered. "I'm sorry, she's... she's blocking me out!"
"Huh? What do you mean, 'blocking you out?'" Kiba held her shoulders supportingly.
"R-Release!" Hinata attempted to release the Genjutsu again, but only found herself becoming more light-headed.
Hinata wasn't the only one being influenced by whatever strange Genjutsu Kurenai had cast; Akamaru was grumbling to himself, once again batting at the air aimlessly, one paw curled over his face, as though trying to block out a particularly foul smell. Evidently, this was exactly what he was trying to do, because Kiba too clutched at his nose as some sort of indescribably offensive odor pierced his nose like a finely-sharpened shuriken.
"Wha-the faaauck is that!?" Kiba screamed.
"Hinata tried to tell you before that Genjutsu isn't simply a visual illusion." Shino stated. "The Illusionary art can manipulate any and all of the five senses, some techniques, as this one clearly is, can even distort any and all of the senses at once. Clearly, Kurenai-sensei's aim is to block off the senses that we rely upon most: Hinata, despite being able to see through the Genjutsu with Byakugan, is likely having her eyesight overloaded, and her second most relied sense, hearing, blocked off. And clearly, she's fully intent on stripping you of your heightened olfactory senses."
"Stripping us of...?" Hinata could barely make out Shino's speech, but these last words stood out to her, and struck a cord in her mind. "I can..." She breathed, trying to regain her balance. "I know how... the Genjutsu... we can break it...!"
"Aargh!" Naruto growled. "Let me out! I'm sorry I stole your pervy book! Just let me go!"
Angered that Naruto stole his favorite book, Kakashi had captured the spiky-haired knucklehead and tied him very securely to one of the four wooden posts in the center of the training grounds.
"It goes without saying, I'm pissed with you for making me lose my place..." Kakashi grumbled, rifling through his book to look for the page he last read. "But I don't know whether to be proud that you could make such a steal, or irritated that THIS of all things was what you decided to snatch from me." He found a likely place in the book and produced a very suggestive bookmark featuring a famous black-haired actress, with kanji reading 'Princess Gale' conveniently censoring her.
"Don't give me that!" Naruto retorted. "I know you wouldn't have let me grab those things, even if I could!"
"No, I wouldn't have..." Kakashi muttered. "I assumed you were trying to take a weapon from me, and failed." He put his book away. "Clearly, I assumed very wrong. You were a pick-pocket when you were a little kid, weren't you?"
"It was either that, or go hungry." Naruto said defiantly.
"Speaking of which, I happened to notice that you're not." Kakashi observed. "From what I've heard, your growling stomach can be heard a mile away, yet it's probably the only part of you that's stayed quiet this entire time. Oh, speaking of which..." He turned and kicked away two incoming shadow clones of Naruto's. "I don't know why you smell of strawberry perfume, but it's never good to come to battle with such a strong scent on you. As if you don't stand out enough as it is..."
Naruto turned slightly pink. Why did he not think to wash off Naruko's nighttime fragrance?!
"Honestly, I was expecting such a scent to come from Sakura." Kakashi teased. "Is that Anko's scent, by any chance?"
"Shut up!" Naruto snapped, starting to get annoyed with Kakashi's attitude. "You're not her type, anyway. Plus, from what I heard, she hates white-haired guys!"
"I've heard she didn't particularly like Mizuki..." Kakashi recalled. "...Can't say I blame her, all things considered. But first of all, my hair is grey, and not white."
"Whatever." Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Second, you mistake my intentions; I was merely curious why a kid like you has such a distinctly sweet scent. It must have been from some girl... That shy one, Hinata, perhaps?"
"Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!" Kakashi jumped out of the way as a tremendous jet of fire blew his way, missing Naruto by mere inches.
"Hey! I'm not some animal on a campfire, you know!" He yelled irritably at Sasuke, who was already preparing to use another Fire Jutsu, with Sakura at the ready by his side.
She threw two hands full of shuriken, just as Sasuke cast his next jutsu: "Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" He shot several small fireballs from his mouth, which Kakashi had little trouble dodging, until the flames subsided, and from the ashes, Sakura's shuriken now flew his way. Now, she, Sasuke, and yet another Naruto Shadow Clone charged at a distracted Kakashi, ready to make a grab for their target.
"Clone Jutsu!" All three said together, Sakura and Sasuke each producing four illusionary copies, while Naruto remained the only one currently facing Kakashi, who seemed unaffected by the incoming assault.
"You're not fooling me with yet another one of your pathetic Clone strikes, Naruto." He scoffed, batting off the Naruto shadow clone, only for his hand to faze right through him. "What?!" He swiped at who he thought to be the real Sakura and Sasuke, but his attacks only passed through them as well. Then, understanding hit him like a lightning bolt:
"They're just a diversion!" Before he even had time to make his next move however, all but one of the false Genin faded, and the one remaining had transformed in a burst of smoke, emerging in the form of a very well-endowed, naked blonde woman, whose breasts hugged Kakashi's masked face, immobilizing him just long enough for the real Sakura and Sasuke to make a grab for the bells... and they succeeded!
"Don't talk bad about boobs again!" 'Naruko' laughed triumphantly, before disappearing in another cloud of smoke. Kakashi turned around awkwardly to face his three students, two of which smiled as they showed him the bells they took.
"You pass." He conceded. "Congratulations, you've demonstrated exemplary teamwork." His eye flitted from one Genin to another. "But what I'm not sure about is how. You had to have planned that last attack in detail..."
"Remember near the beginning, when Naruto's fourth blind charge failed, and it took half an hour for him to try again?" Sakura pointed out. "That was when we pulled him aside and came up with a plan."
"And by 'pulled aside,' she means we had to drag him away from his constant waste of energy, and drill some sense into his brain." Sasuke interjected.
"I can pound some sense into yours if you'd like!" Naruto flailed.
"So that little scuffle between you and Sasuke was just a ruse, then?" Kakashi asked.
"Er..." Naruto muttered sheepishly.
"No." Sasuke grunted. "That was just Naruto being an idiot and messing up the plan."
"Excuse me?!" Naruto snapped, as he wrestled against his bindings. "Who was it that almost skewered me!? I'd pay you back for that if I weren't...!"
"At any rate," Kakashi spoke over him. "Which was your Plan B? Sakura's fake fainting spell? Or Naruto's boob hug attack?"
"Did he REALLY just give that dirty move a name?" Sakura groaned, knowing Naruto would be inspired to turn it into a real move now.
"The fakeout was our Plan B." Sasuke replied. "And our successful strike was Plan C." He began to stare down Kakashi very seriously. "But what I can't figure out was how you escaped Sakura's attack? That flash of red you used to escape: What jutsu was that?"
"A-ah, you saw that, did you?" Kakashi said in a would-be-casual tone. "Well... I may teach you one of these days, but here's what I don't understand." He gave Naruto a light punch on the arm.
"Hey!" He yelled. "What?!"
"Why didn't you plant a clone to be tied to the post?" Kakashi asked. "Why the real Naruto?"
"Because we knew you were expecting a clone to be used as the decoy." Sakura explained. "That's why Naruto used his real self as bait."
Kakashi grinned under his mask. He hardly expected this kind of careful and strategic planning from three individuals who despised each other so much. "So, the strawberry perfume?" He turned back to Naruto. "That was in preparation for your 'Plan C', wasn't it?"
"Uh... Yeah, that was it." Naruto lied.
"Well... it certainly worked either way." Kakashi said under his breath. "At any rate, you three have passed the test, and are now official members of Team 7. Meet back here in three days to discuss our first mission."
Naruto grinned, basking in his moment of victory, before noticing that everyone else was walking away... and he was still tied to the post. "HEY! GET BACK HERE!" He screamed. "You forgot to UNTIE ME!"
Under normal circumstances, Kakashi would have taken his free time to go find a quiet place to read, but as he exited the training grounds, his attention was grabbed by a pat on the butt, which told him that somebody had other plans.
"Hello again, Anko." He said casually without breaking his stride. "I think you'll be pleased to hear that Naruto passed my test perfectly, as you expected."
"You expected differently?" Anko teased. "He'll overcome anything you could throw at him if he has the right incentive."
"I take it that you've given him such 'incentive?'" Kakashi teased back.
"Maybe. Wanna talk about it over lunch?"
Though she had already wolfed down half the food she ordered the instant she sat down at Amaguirama, Anko's attention was drawn to Kakashi as he eyed the single dango he'd ordered. He had to pull down that silly mask to eat sooner or later...
"You know Anko..." He said. "You might end up getting quite fat eating so much sweets."
"Hah, what're the odds of that happening?" Anko laughed. "You know what they say: Sex is the best exercise! Anyway, eat up! Those kids must've given you quite a hassle today. You could use the treat."
"Well, you're right about that much." Kakashi replied. "There was one point where they actually forced me to use my full strength. In a Genin examination, no less. You can count on one finger how many times that's happened during my Jounin career."
"Wait... you really used... that?" Anko whipped around to face Kakashi. She pointed to the eye he had covered by his headband. "They REALLY made you use... THAT?"
"Very briefly," Kakashi amended. "But yes. And it was Sakura, of all people, too. Last one I'd expect to push me that far."
"Really now?" Anko marveled. "And what about the boys?"
"Sasuke... well, he was skilled in all the ways one would expect, not really anything new to say from our last test." said Kakashi. "And Naruto, he proved to be full of surprises." He leaned closer to Anko and sniffed her curiously.
"What're you doing?" She edged back slightly.
"Naruto had a rather... girlish scent on him today. I figured he would have gotten it off of you." Kakashi mused.
"No, he was like that when I met up with him this morning."
"I was expecting it to screw him over," Kakashi recounted. "Normally, a ninja with a stand-out scent is a dead ninja, but he used what would have been a weakness to pull a rather..." Even his mask couldn't hide his blush. "...Interesting trick that ultimately won the day."
"I figured he would." Anko smirked. "Just like I'd expect from him!" She laughed as she took a big swig of tea.
"Indeed?" Kakashi said awkwardly. "Sometimes I wonder just what you've taught your students after your teaching career."
"Not as much as I'd have liked." Anko admitted. "Unfortunately, nothing useful outside of the bedroom..."
"I understand that you have some good taste in erotic literature." said Kakashi. "Naruto tells me you've got the Icha Icha series on your shelves."
"Oh, did he now?" Anko laughed. "I didn't think he was into reading."
"I didn't think so either, but he seemed to recognize it."
"Well, since you've asked..." Anko grinned. "Yeah, I got the series prequel, Icha Icha Origins, for a little bedtime reading, but I don't think I ever got the one that goes after that... Paradise, right?"
"Wanna borrow mine?" Kakashi offered. He reached into his pouch, but for the second time that day, found it devoid of one small orange book. "What?! That son of a...!"
"...Bitch!" Kiba growled as he was knocked onto his back, punching the ground in frustration. Kurenai had once again found her students, and seemed to be bending the entire forest around them to her will, as a nearby tree had seemingly sprung to life, and had dealt Kiba a serious thrashing.
"Whatever this plan of yours is, Hinata..." Shino said as he summoned an insect swarm to be his vanguard. "...You'd better do it quickly."
"Keep her safe...!" Kiba grunted, getting back to his feet. "Whatever it is, I'll do it. Just keep Hinata from being harmed..."
"Kiba, stop." Hinata still felt like her head was splitting, between the strain on her eyes, and the ringing in her ears, but she tried as best she could to tough it out. "You don't have to protect me all the time. I... I might have been weak, or even frail, when we were in the Academy, but I've grown since then. I can hold my own."
Kiba looked at her incredulously. He'd never heard her talk like that before, and though he still felt the instinct to shelter her, he somehow believed that she could protect herself as she claimed. "What do we need to do?" He asked.
"Can you both release Genjutsu?" Hinata asked.
"That seems a futile effort." Shino pointed out.
"Yeah, remember? It only released a small portion when you did it, and not for very long..." Kiba recalled.
"We don't need to release all of it, or even for more than a minute." Hinata stated. "Just... please, trust me."
Kiba and Shino looked to each other, as if hoping to understand what on earth Hinata could be planning, but, with no better plan, they conceded.
"What's your plan, then?" Shino asked.
"We all use release at the same time." Hinata stated, taking off her jacket. "If we do it just right, it should leave Kurenai-sensei vulnerable just long enough to give us the advantage we need."
"Perfect..." Shino understood, eyeing the insects that ran down his sleeve.
"Yeah...!" Kiba grinned, he and Akamaru understanding themselves. "We break her momentum, and then we take the fight to her."
All three Genin joined in a circle, and together cast: "RELEASE!"
"Impressive..." Kurenai admired, as her control over the environment faded. "I didn't expect them to break it this soon."
"Unbelievable..." Shino said as the forest around them slowly reverted back to its normal green self. "No way we could have broken the entire Genjutsu..."
"Who cares what's scientifically possible?! We did it!" Kiba laughed, glad to be rid of the horrid smell that immobilized him. "Kurenai-sensei's vulnerable! Whatever we're gonna do, let's just fucking do it!"
"...right." Shino agreed. Though still suspicious, he followed Hinata and Kiba, where they at last made contact with Kurenai.
"You three got through the Crimson Forest better than I'd expected." She marvelled. "Only a team of Shinobi well in-sync with each other could break that Genjutsu. I would be glad to have all three of you as part of Team Kurenai, however... we're playing tag, not hide-and-seek, and you three are still 'it.'"
"Then consider yourself tagged." Kiba smirked.
"Just because the Crimson Forest is gone, don't assume that I'm completely helpless." Kurenai smirked. "Also..." She gave an eerie laugh as she faded away like mist. "You only have five minutes remaining!"
Kiba panicked and lunged at Kurenai, Akamaru taking on the form of his owner. Both Kibas hurried after the fading Kurenai, desperate to pass before time was up. Shino spread out several swarms of bugs in an effort to pinpoint wherever Kurenai had vanished too, and Hinata sighed, very red in the face as she realized that there was only one thing left that could salvage this mission.
She gripped the hem of her shirt with both hands, and lifted it straight up into the air, her large breasts bouncing as they were released. Having seen such an embarrassing display, Kiba dropped to the ground with a severe nosebleed, and Kurenai turned as crimson as her namesake, returning to her normal, solid form as her concentration on her Genjutsu broke.
Now, between Shino's insect swarms, and Kiba and Akamaru's advances, Kurenai was cornered.
"Nice!" Kiba laughed.
"An unorthodox way to break a Genjutsu, but it appears effective." Shino remarked. "Kiba, you and Akamaru keep her surrounded. Hinata, she's all yours."
Kurenai took to the trees, but just as she landed on a branch, Hinata had caught up to her and her hand reached out to tag Kurenai, only to catch onto her wrappings, which snagged on the branch, and unraveled as she fell from the tree, unbalanced. Hinata dove after her, and wrapped both hands around Kurenai's boobs as they hit the ground.
For a moment, everything was silent as the gravity of the situation slowly came to Hinata and Kurenai.
"Woo-hooooooo!" Kiba yelled triumphantly. "Way to go, Hinata!"
"Yes, well done." Shino grinned, turning awkwardly away from the suggestive scene laid out before him.
"I'm very impressed, but..." Kurenai blushed brightly as she sat up. "Er, Hinata? You've passed. You... can let go now."
Hinata, having relished her victory, had forgotten that she was still gripping her sensei's boobs, and retracted promptly. "Ah! S-sorry, Kurenai-sensei!"
"The three of you have demonstrated incredible teamwork in the face of the unknown." Kurenai commended her students as she stood, covering herself up as she gathered her shed clothes "And for that, I gladly welcome all three of you as members of Squad 8."
"Yahoo!" Kiba cheered. "And if we get treats like this every day, you'll have me rolling over in no time!"
"Sorry..." Hinata apologized again.
Kurenai turned away as she redressed herself, talking over her shoulder. "I suppose I also have to commend you for discovering your enemy's weaknesses, as well as acutely exploiting said weaknesses." She went bright crimson in the face at her own words; she really was proud of her students, but she wished that such skills weren't demonstrated in such an embarrassing way.
Once she had finished robing herself up, she turned to face her squad confidently. "All three of you have become great Shinobi, and I am proud to train and fight alongside each and every one of you. I want you all to report back here in two days for your first official mission; until then, you're all free to go."
Hinata as as willing as the others to leave, but she felt like Kurenai had something more to say to her before she could go, so she stayed behind. When they were out of Kiba's heightened earshot, Kurenai grinned at her new student.
"I never would have taken you to be the kind to do the kind of tactics you've pulled today, Hinata." She said, embarrassed but still using a praising tone.
"M-hm..." Hinata turned as red as Kurenai. "I didn't mean to pull off your clothes or any of that, but..."
"Not that." Kurenai corrected. "Though, that too was very surprising to me. No, I meant that I'm surprised at how you were able to take charge the way you did. I honestly wasn't expecting you to spearhead your team's entire victory in this test. I've read your entire record on your Academic progress, and even taking the previous year into account, the abilities you've shown me today are nothing short of impressive."
"Thank you, Kurenai-sensei." Hinata glowed at her new sensei's praise. "I will continue to do my best."
"I'm glad to hear." Kurenai smiled. "Although..." She blushed again. "Next time we train though, please try not to use such... revealing tactics."
"I wasn't exactly fond of using those tactics either..." Hinata admitted coyly. "But next time, I'll try to keep all of our clothes on as much as possible." She shared a laugh with her sensei.
"Alright, I suppose that will have to do." Kurenai chuckled. "Enjoy the next three days, and come back here to discuss our first official mission. Oh, and... Hinata?"
"Yes, sensei?"
Kurenai's face did her namesake justice as she said, "I wanted to ask you something about... relationships."
"Uh...?" Hinata blinked. "Why are you asking me?"
"Well... I understand that you're in a loving relationship." Now it was Hinata's turn to turn bright crimson; the only reason Kurenai knew that was because she walked in on her and Naruto as they made love yesterday. "So, I wondered, maybe you could help me out."
"A-alright, but if you want to know THAT kind of information, I think maybe you should ask Anko-sensei..." said Hinata, knowing all too well what Anko had to teach.
"N-no no no no! Not TH-THAT kind of relationship advice!" Kurenai flustered. "We haven't even gone on a date before. So... how do I ask him out? And, where should we go?"
"Just ask him." Hinata said simply. "That's what Naruto did for our first date, as for where..." She paused, stuck on what advice to give here. "...Well, you can decide." She improvised.
"Where did you go on your boyfriend's first date?" Kurenai asked interestedly. Hinata froze up here, not sure what to say; She and Naruto had only gone out a few times, and their first date was to a strip club, which they had secretly been led to by Anko. Then again, she began to see a bit of herself in Kurenai, especially given how timid she seemed around anything sexual. Besides, if a first date at the Cozy Condom turned out great for two academy kids, why wouldn't it be the same for two adults.
"Erm... it was a place called the Cozy Condom." Hinata answered at last. "But, you'll need a password to get in; I think this week's was... Koihime?"
"Oh... the... 'Cozy Condom', huh?" Kurenai said awkwardly. "That... that sounds like an awfully bold place for a first date."
"Well... it was Anko-sensei who brought us..." Hinata shrugged.
"Ah... I uh... I see..." Kurenai muttered. "Well... thank you for your help, Hinata..." Having more awkward conversation than she could take, she disappeared from the training field, leaving Hinata behind, grinning as she left to go meet up with her boyfriend and favorite teacher again.
"You'll be fine, Kurenai-sensei." She smiled as she returned to the village.
"Sending someone else on a date to the Cozy Condom, eh?" Anko smirked as she popped out from the woods.
"...How long were you hiding there?" Hinata asked.
"I just got here in time to hear your dating recommendation." Anko teased. "Good choice, by the way!"
"I didn't mean to send her there..." Hinata said sheepishly.
"She'll live." Anko assured her. "Anyway, I've got some... other matters to attend to today..." She gave a very familiar smirk Hinata recognized right away. "So, you go on ahead and have your celebration without me" Hinata nodded happily. "Oh, and congratulations on your test!" She gave Hinata a playful smack on the ass.
"Thank you, Anko-sensei!" Hinata smiled. "See you later!"
"I'm gonna meet up with Naruto next, which means you'll get back a lot sooner than him. So, make sure you're good and ready for him, 'kay?" Anko winked flirtatiously.
"O-of course!" Hinata nodded.
"Someone freakin' untie me!" Naruto screamed as he flailed around, still tied to the post on the training grounds. He sighed, knowing there was probably nobody around to hear him.
Normally, he could have either reached for a kunai to cut himself loose, or make a Shadow Clone to do so, but Kakashi apparently knew a thing or two about knot-tying; under the layer of rope binding Naruto to the wooden post, he had also constricted his hands, making it impossible for him to move them at all from their current position.
"You called?" Naruto would have jumped if he weren't bound so tightly. He looked straight up at the source of the voice, to find none other than Anko Mitarashi standing on top of the post looking down at him. "Sup?" She chuckled playfully.
"Hey, Anko-sensei!" Naruto grinned. "Mind cutting me loose?"
"I could..." Anko teased. "Or... I could have some fun with you while you still can't do anything about..." She peered down to find that everything down to Naruto's legs was tightly bound, denying her sexual fun. "Son of a bitch." She sighed. "Never mind." She took out a kunai and dropped it down the edge of the rope, freeing Naruto from the post.
"Thanks." Naruto grinned as she then worked on the knots around his wrists. Looking up though, he saw that Anko looked a bit disappointed. "You know, you could still..."
"Nah, it wouldn't be the same." Anko sighed. "I gotta say, though... Kakashi really knows his knots." She smirked deviously as she cut Naruto's hands free. "Wonder if he could show me some of these..."
"I didn't think he was your type?" Naruto commented.
"You kiddin?!" Anko laughed. "Between the knots and his taste in literature, he'd probably make Yahiko jealous..." She relished the idea as she entertained herself with an image of Kakashi knotting her up and suspending her from the ceiling, while he and Yahiko fucked her brains out together.
"Anyway," She spoke up, cutting off her fantasy. "I passed by Hinata on my way here, and she's passed her test, which means she's probably halfway back to our apartment by now. So, you two go ahead and start your little celebration party without me. I know you want to."
"What about you, sensei?" Naruto asked. It wasn't exactly like Anko to pass on a sexual victory celebration.
"I got some... other matters to attend to first." Anko smirked. Now Naruto understood. He knew that smirk of Anko's anywhere; the sign that she had her own erotic endeavors in mind. "But don't worry, I'll catch up with you two soon enough."
"Sounds like a party to me." Naruto laughed. "See you later, then!"
"You bet." Anko grinned. "And hey!" She gave Naruto a playful smack on the ass. "Great job today!"
To Be Continued...
WOW! This chapter was a downright pain and a half to get through! And having to tackle both Naruto's AND Hinata's tests together made it all the more difficult (and dull). But now, I can FINALLY get to the fun stuff you all've been waiting for, like giving the canon the middle finger, preparations for Anko's new class, fanservice, sexy scenes, Tenten...
Anyways, a common question I've gotten ever since the start of the series: "will there, at any point, be threesomes between Team 7 and/or 8?" To which I will answer: most likely, no. As of now, HELL no, but later on down the road, when/if these character end up forming a close enough bond, then maybe, but that would be many chapters from now, and I don't quite have THAT level of foresight.
Another question I've gotten pretty often, is asking what are my thoughts on Anko's fatness in the epilogue. Honestly? I'm alright with it. Hear me out, now! For one, it was just one panel of one chapter. For another, it's fair to say that Anko has been through quite an ordeal throughout the Pt2 manga, being incapacitated, and used to resurrect the master she despises so much, right?
So, skip ahead some unspecified number of years later, and it's clear she's had a good life; she's free of the bonds that tie her to Orochimaru, she's enjoyed all the sweets she wants, and she even has a young friend to share those sweets with. So no, I'm not mad about her appearance in the epilogue at all (I mean hey! It could have been worse! She could have been straight-up killed off! (There were several points I thought she WOULD have been)).
Lastly, because I know a lot of people are going to be asking, while Anko and Kakashi won't have a serious relationship, yes, there will be plenty of interactions between them ;P
Well, see you all next time!
