A/N: Hey y'all! Sorry it took me longer to get this chapter up. I had a hard time coming up with an idea from episode 5X08, the whole Noel Kahn thing threw me off and didn't give me much to work with. I hope what I did come with is enough to satisfy you guys until next week, hopefully 5X09 has some good Emison to pull from. I have a cute one shot outlined and ready to write so I'll try to get that posted ASAP so keep an eye out for that. Hope you enjoy the chapter and please coment/review as always!
*Set in 5X08 where Alison is sitting in Hanna's window ceil and Hanna's mom tells her to get some rest*
Alison was grateful for Mrs. Marin, she was like the mom she never had. Sure Alison's mom had her moments, but there was something different about the way Hanna's mom treated her, with love and care that didn't even for a second come off as fake. She loved her mom and it was days like this Alison wished she were still alive. She was desperate for that mother/daughter relationship all her friends had, the dynamic you see on every tv show, movie, etc. Why couldn't she have that with her mom?
Alison thought her mom was the reason she was so cold and judgmental. She never really knew what love was because she didn't get much of it at home, with a father who was always at work, a brother who was either never home or drugged out of his mind, and a mother who never really treated her with the most warmth. She felt she was unable, and undeserving of love because if even her own family, people who are supposed to love you no matter what, didn't then how could anyone else?
Perhaps that's why she always demanded she was the center of attention at school and with her friends. She strived for that feeling of being wanted and needed, because she didn't get that at home. And that's why she was so enamored by Emily, the only person who truly seemed to love her. Emily always gave her her full attention. And even when Alison would do something to hurt Emily she always came back. She never gave up on her, ignored her, or loved her less. And that is what Alison couldn't accept.
She never understood how Emily could love her, especially after all the shitty things she did to her, the majority on purpose. How even now after everything that's happened to them, all the lies, the deceit, how could Emily still give her the time of day? Just thinking about it made Alison tear up.
And that's the train of thought that brought her here, sitting in Hanna's window, crying her eyes out. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, but had she gone to school today she would be in third period, so she could assume it's been a while. It had been a terrible night; she wasn't lying when she told Mrs. Marin about hearing noises and sleeping in the closet. It was definitely one of the most stressful nights since she had returned to Rosewood.
Up until last night she usually had someone sleeping with her or her dad would be constantly checking in on her. Last night she was alone. Hanna never came home; she lied to Mrs. Marin about Caleb picking her up. She knew Hanna was going through a lot of stuff, and that Alison was the last person she wanted to talk to. She figured the least she could do was cover for her.
Alison tried sleeping in the bed, but it felt so big and empty, all that space left her feeling exposed. After hearing the noises, she moved to the closet. Having that extra barrier between her and the room, and having that wall to settle up against gave her the slightest bit of comfort. She wished Emily was there. The only time she is able to fully rest and feel comfortable is when Emily is around. She feels protected, safe, and like no matter what happens as long as she's with Emily nothing can hurt her. She debated whether or not to call her last night. Alison knew Emily would've come running, but she ultimately decided that she couldn't depend on Emily to save her every time she feels scared. It's not fair to either of them.
Alison felt her and Emily were on better terms after briefly discussing their feelings the other day. They were far from being a happy couple, but she felt they were slowly getting there. For the first time Alison actually believed that they could be together, eventually.
Alison couldn't handle being alone any longer; she picked up her phone and decided to call Emily since she didn't last night. She needed her comfort, her presence, her warmth. She got Emily's voicemail, which figures since she was at school where Alison should have been. After being prompted to leave a message after the beep Alison began breathlessly between sobs, as she was still crying; "Hi Em, I'm at Hanna's, she never came home last night, I was all alone, and I swear A knew and tried to get me, I slept in the closet just to feel safe. I'm so tired of being alone Emily, I'm so scared, I need you…I—" Beep. The machine cut her off, If you are satisfied with your message press one, to play press two, to re-record press three. Three.
She rerecorded her message again, trying to be less needy this time, once again being prompted to either save or try again. She chose the latter, this time with less cracking in her voice, it was shorter. She continued again and again to rerecord her message sounding more guarded each time, maybe this wasn't a good idea.
She ends up deleting her message and hangs up, no voicemail at all. She stays still, silent, tears slowly falling from her eyes. Why is this her life? What did she do to cause all of this? These among other questions flood her mind, all she wants is to be normal, for everything A related to be over so she can just live and not feel like an empty shell going through the motions. About five minutes later her phone rings, Emily is calling. She picks up with a quick hello.
"Hey sorry I couldn't answer, Mrs. Newman wouldn't let me use the restroom until I finished my quiz. What's the matter? Why aren't you at school?" Emily asks concerned.
"I'm fine." That's a lie. "I overslept this morning," More like under slept. It gets quiet and for a moment she wonders if Emily is still there.
"I'm coming over. Give me twenty minutes." Emily can tell Alison isn't ok, that something happened. She knew she needed her but was too afraid to ask.
"No Em, it's ok." She didn't want Emily to leave school, as much as she wanted to be with her right now. "Hanna's mom took the day off work so I'm not alone. Finish out the day and come over later?" She asked hopefully.
Emily gets a quiet sadness to her voice, "I would but I have plans with Spencer after school."
Alison's heart slumped, she just wanted to see her so bad, but she couldn't ask Emily to drop her life just to babysit herself. "Oh ok, I'll just see you around."
"Ali wait, seriously what's wrong?" Emily wasn't letting Alison go like that.
It's quiet for a moment before Alison breaths in deeply and quietly states, "I just miss you is all."
Now Emily's heart hurt, "You sure you don't want me to come over?"
Alison perks up in her seat, "Yea, I'm gonna go downstairs and see what Ashley is up too."
Emily nods to herself, "Ok well I gotta get back to class-"
Emily was about to say goodbye and hang up right before Alison asks out of nowhere, "Em?"
"Yeah?"
She was going to ask if she could stay at her house tonight, figuring that Hanna will probably stay with Caleb again, but after the dinner party she's sure Pam wouldn't be ok with that yet, "Um never mind, just have a good day, tell the others I say hello."
It's quiet again for a moment, both girls waiting in case the other has anything else to say. Emily finally replies, "Will do, I'll call you later."
They say their goodbyes and hang up. And believe it or not Alison does feel a little bit better, just hearing the concern in Emily's voice is enough to hold her over for now. She decides maybe she should listen to Mrs. Marin and get some rest, so she makes her way over to the bed to take a nap. Just a couple minutes after she gets situated under the covers Alison's phone rings again, this time it's a text, Maybe we could go out this weekend, a movie or something, you know get our minds off everything if only for a few hours…just the two of us?
And with those words Alison immediately felt the worry and stress from last night fade away, a big smile worked its way across her face. She replied to the text and quickly got a response confirming what she was hoping was true; Emily fields had just asked her out on a date. Closing her eyes, and thinking about the weekend, Alison was finally able to get that rest.
A/N: This took a different turn than I expected it to, but I'm satisfied. I was really worried about this chapter cause there wasn't much inspiration from the last episode. Hopefully we get some good Emison interaction next time. Thanks again to everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed. Special shoutout/thanks to kayweston for letting me bounce ideas around and keeping me interested in continuing this story. Thanks all for reading!
