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Tony Stark hasn't slept for 36 hours, give or take. Contrary to popular belief, it's not that he dislikes sleeping. In fact, when he is not assaulted by nightmares, he loves sleep, cherishes the fact that he can disconnect from the world, even though it's only for a moment. But his genius mind has priorities, and building is in the top three, next to Iron Man and, surprisingly, logging into Wikipedia and trolling the hell out of college kids looking for information for their assignments.
And today (or tonight, depends on how you look at it) is one of those days he has a streak of inspiration and feels the need to stay up and not sleep until he is satisfied with his work. So that's one of the reasons he is in the kitchen in Stark Tower, lights out except for the steady blue glow of his arc reactor, pouring himself a steaming cup of black coffee. The other reason is that the specially designed and modified coffee maker he has in his workshop has suddenly and mysteriously broken, due to unknown causes *cough DUM-E and Butterfingers fighting over the fire extinguishers privileges cough* and is still awaiting repairs.
He's already finished his second cup and is thinking of taking the entire pot to the workshop when he hears shuffling from somewhere down the corridor. A bit confused, he takes a look at his watch. 03:37 A.M. Who the hell would be awake and wandering through the tower at 3 in the morning?
He listens carefully to the steps coming closer and tries to guess. Thor is out of the question. If he wasn't snoring and out cold, he wouldn't exactly be shuffling, he would be jumping and running and booming.
It's not likely to be Clint either, the man has the habit of going everywhere through the air ducts, not the hallways like ordinary, boring people.
It's definitely not Natasha. She has proved on more than one occasion that you wouldn't notice her until she was in front of you, emptying her second cup of coffee and looking at you smugly.
That only leaves two people left, Steve and Bruce. If Tony had to bet, his money would be on Bruce, because Bruce is a scientist, and Tony was sure he often stayed up working on radiation or anything he fancied at the moment.
So Tony is rather surprised when he sees Steve step into the kitchen and go straight to a chair in front of the table, not even sparing a glance around. Given the fact that Tony, with his built-in flashlight, isn't exactly what you would call discreet, anyone would think that Steve had noticed Tony the moment he walked into the kitchen. But apparently he'd had too much in his head, because when Tony came closer to him and put a hand in his shoulder, the super soldier startled and turned around, defensive stance ready until he saw Tony and relaxed.
"Jesus, Tony, don't sneak up on people like that, you are going to give me a heart attack."
"Seriously Cap? Of all the people in this tower, you call me sneaky?" answered Tony, pointing to his arc reactor.
"Sorry, it's just that I have too much going around in my head and I didn't notice you were here," replied Steve.
"It's okay, I'm here only because my coffee maker is dead and I needed coffee like, yesterday. But I can leave if you want, I'll just take the pot to the workshop" answered the younger man as he motioned towards the door and tentatively took a step away from the table.
"What, no, I mean, I don't mind company. I'm actually glad I'm not the only one up at this time."
"Okay," Tony smiled as he sat down next to Steve, "so what's bothering that patriotic head of yours?"
Steve sighed. He wasn't sure if he should be speaking about the turmoil in his head, least of all with Tony, but a look into Tony's eyes told him that, under all that amusement and nonchalance, there was concern and worry. So after a few seconds, which he spent trying to put his erratic thoughts in something resembling order, he answered.
"It's not what, it's who."
That statement gained him a raised eyebrow and a cocky half smile from the billionaire. "Woah Steve, you are quite a fast learner, aren't you? You are catching up with our century amazingly fast. That's the way half of the world feels nowadays. Next thing I know, you are recording a single and then releasing an album named 'Super Secret Boy Band' full of cheesy love songs," Steve shot him a three quarters annoyed, one quarter amused look, so Tony promptly added "Okay, I'm done, no more jokes. What is it? You can tell me. I swear I won't laugh for over five minutes. It's a once-in-a-lifetime deal, you should take it."
"It's, well, it's you, Tony"
"Whaaaaaat?" answered Tony, and Steve was sure he would have spit all his coffee if he had had any left. "I mean, I'm, um, flattered, that's the word, it's just that, well, I'm not exactly looking for anything right now, I'm kind of married to my work… Oh God, I make it sound as if I'm making out with my armor, Christ, I'm rambling again, I swear my mind is like Wikipedia, you go there looking for some info about a random actor and five minutes later you end up reading a rather interesting dissertation about Finnish politics in the mid-fifties, I swear I don't do it on purpose it's just th—"
"Tony, shut up for a minute and let me explain," interrupted an exasperated Steve, with his face now redder than the Iron Man chest plate. "It's nothing like that; it's just that after we found out about your age, I feel like everything I knew about you is gone, you know? I keep replaying these conversations between us and it's so wrong, I was so wrong. So now I'm trying to erase all that and start anew, but it's hard, it's all a blur and I don't know where 'old you' ends and 'new you' starts, and it drives me crazy. It's like, I think you must feel the same way when you're trying to solve an equation, then you are halfway, someone points a mistake out, and you realize you've been wrong right from the beginning and you don't want to get rid of all your effort, but deep inside you know you have to, and you desperately try to scavenge for correct calculations amongst all the rubbish. It's taking me a lot to separate both of you, and it frustrates me." Steve said, resolutely looking at his suddenly very interesting hands.
"Crap, Steve, no offense, but you got it all wrong. There is no 'old Tony' and 'new Tony'. I've always been my annoying, arrogant, funny, handsome, clever self. My age doesn't define me. And I'm not a kid either. I'm an adult, and believe it or not, I've been behaving like an adult for a few years now. So what I'm trying to say is, I wouldn't behave differently if I was forty or if I was ninety, and I don't want anyone treating me any differently. I'm sure as hell I wouldn't have acted any differently than I did in the past, simply because I can't. I know it must be hard to understand, but I seriously don't change my behavior or attitude when I'm around people who know my real age. The only reason I didn't tell you right at the beginning was because I feared it was a reason to kick me out of the team. Now that I know that won't be the case, I don't mind any of you guys knowing it, as long as you don't start thinking that everything that happened before is false, or irrelevant. It's important because that's how we came to know each other, Steve, and my age doesn't change any of that. I didn't fake any of that, believe me. So stop worrying and trying to scavenge for calculations, and solve the damn equation once and for all, because, who knows? Maybe you were not wrong at the beginning, and that person who said you had made a mistake is a jerk who doesn't know a damn thing about mathematics. Have I made myself clear?"
Steve nodded, still trying to grasp the meaning behind Tony's words. Maybe Tony was right after all. He knew Tony hadn't behaved differently around them, and all he wanted back was the same. Steve made up his mind. He could do that, it was the least he could do for Tony.
"Good, I don't like repeating myself… too much…" Tony trailed off as he found one of the dozens of StarkPads he had everywhere (even the bathroom, you never know when you are going to get an idea) on the table and turned it on.
They spent the next hour in comfortable silence, Tony drinking coffee and Steve sketching lazily on a notebook he had found on a cupboard in the kitchen (don't ask him how it ended up there), the sun rays from the sunrise slowly seeping through the window into the room in oranges and light reds, until Tony spoke up.
"Wow, look at the time it is. I should probably go back to the workshop, I'm sure my babies are missing me. You should probably go for your morning run, by the time you come back I'm sure there will be pancakes, a shower and a couch waiting for you."
Tony took the coffee pot and headed towards the door after patting Steve on the back. When he was about to get to the hallway, Steve spoke up.
"Tony?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you, I needed that"
"Not at all, Cap, I needed that too."
And with that, Tony left the kitchen. Fifteen minutes later, Steve was running near Central Park, more relaxed than he had been in a long time.
