Chapter Three

The bottom of her stomach dropped. The young man now standing next to Jenna was indeed very cute – a lean kind of physique in a dark suit, with pale skin and brown hair, much darker than Lily's. He had high cheekbones (dear GOD would you look at those) and these amazing eyes – eyes that were caged behind rimless glasses – that reminded Lily of a picture she'd seen in class once, a picture of an iceberg under Arctic waters, when their teacher had been trying to show them how the only the tip breached the surface. The color of the submerged ice had been a clear pale blue and, looking at the expression lounging within those eyes of his, she decided anything to do with ice would describe Dr. Crane's cold eyes just fine.

He also looked like someone who was very hard to impress.

Hot exterior, cold interior, Lily reminded herself. She also had to remind herself to swallow. And not to look at his cheekbones because, boy, did they look lickable –

Whoa! None of that, a voice in her head told her angrily and Lily silenced her inner turmoil (and hormones), instead focusing on the conversation.

'Everything's fine, Doctor Crane,' Jenna said innocently, still holding onto Lily's chin. 'I was just telling Lily about how your exceedingly hot body juxtaposes your increasingly cold behavior towards people. Anything you'd like to comment?'

Lily would have preferred to staple her own eyelids shut rather than hear Jenna say those words. That was how embarrassing this was. Jenna glanced over at Lily's somewhat dazed expression and grinned knowingly. 'You didn't believe me when I said he was hot?'

Lily didn't even know how to respond; she juggled between glaring and trying not to say 'Nooo I believed you! I mean it, I really do!'

What came out was a quietly panicked 'I wasn't –'

But Jenna continued as if Lily had never spoken, looking back to Dr. Crane. 'Anywho, Jonathan, Lily – Lily, Jonathan.'

Lily wished that she had bangs to hide behind but, alas, there wasn't much of a style choice in asylums. She was finally, thankfully, starting to get over her initial shock of seeing an actual Hot Guy. It was ridiculous how worked up she was getting – this was a pretty sad reflection on how long she'd been trapped inside.

He merely glanced passingly at her, not even bothering to speak. Lily felt a small bug of dejection crawl through her intestines. She pushed Jenna's hand away from her face and ducked her head.

'Like my little performance?' Jenna added, wiggling her eyebrows.

'Miss Mourby, if I were allowed to say such things as "the day someone accidentally gives you an overdose will no doubt be the best day of my life", I can assure you, I would. However, one has to remain professional about these things,' Dr. Crane replied coolly and as he walked away, Lily tried to suppress a smirk at the shocked look on Jenna's face.

'Told you,' Jenna sighed. 'Body of a sex god –'

'Personality of a dick,' Lily finished, turning to watch the young doctor leave the spacious room. 'I know.' She decided not to tell Jenna that Jonathan Crane had been the reason she was moved to Arkham. It probably didn't matter than much anyway.

She sighed. All she needed to do was get through this. Just keep away from the really crazy people and try not to get sucked into too much drama. As Lily listened to Jenna rattle on, she couldn't help but wonder why he had transferred her.


It was hard to sleep, although Lily's roommate, a young woman who seemed terrified at every move that Lily made, barely bothered her, even as she whimpered and cried in her sleep. No, Lily's real problem that night was that she was so close to home and so far from it. She knew she'd never leave. A sane person in an insane asylum. How many people had tried to pull that one? And her stepfather had made sure that the staff at Hardwick –

Lily turned onto her back, staring at the stained ceiling. Did her stepfather know she'd moved to Arkham? Surely not – surely he wouldn't have known – he'd made sure she'd been far away, dismissed her ravings of sanity and innocence as a guilty conscience and a mental dysfunction. She wondered if Dr. Crane had moved her here of his own decision or of her stepfather's. An uneasy squirm made its way through her midriff. Oh God. What else could her stepfather do to her?

He could kill me, Lily thought but that seemed too much. She wondered if he was dead. Maybe she would be found innocent or something. Lily knew that it wasn't even worth dreaming about that.

She sighed and rolled back onto her right side, facing the wall. Her companion whimpered and sobbed a little. Lily wondered what she was dreaming about and wished she could cuddle something

(muffin, his name)

but there was nothing that could be done about another two hours of disjointed thoughts, she fell into a broken sleep.


Lying on the kitchen floor, blood seeping from too many wounds to count, dark hair lapping up the crimson that was coiling its way across the room, exploring new lands, so different from the body it had until recently been so safe inside –

'Hey, you –'

Lily opened her eyes and was roughly pulled from her bed. Her hands were cuffed behind her immediately. She didn't fight, unsure of where this was going – some guards could generally just be this rough. She glanced over at her companion's bed. It was empty.

The two guards holding her realized she wasn't a fighter and loosened their grip, trailing along the corridors. Lily could see that lots of the inmates were up already, lying in their rooms, watching her.

'Can you please tell me where I'm going?' Lily asked as politely as she could, keeping her voice steady. One of the guards laughed hoarsely. 'Nice manners,' he croaked and Lily wondered how many cigarettes he smoked a day.

'I think you can handle this one yourself,' the other remarked, nodding at Lily's small size. He left to check on another room – it was just Lily and Cigarette Voice.

'So where am I –?' Lily tried again.

'Patience, sweetheart,' the guard rasped and Lily wanted to wriggle out of his grip, 'you're not going the same way as your roommate did.'

Lily swallowed. 'Does that mean something happened to her –?'

The guard pushed her into an elevator before punching a button. The elevator started to slide upwards. Lily moved from one foot to the other. She really hoped this guy didn't cause any trouble. Kick him in the solar plexus then rupture his eardrums, she thought just in case. Pre-asylum days, her mother had enrolled her in self-defense. It never hurts to learn these things in Gotham, Emma Altridge used to say. Lily, however, thought it was much more useful to own a can of mace. She wished that a can would magically appear right now.

She glanced at the elevator buttons and her mind zoned in on B. Basement, she thought for no reason at all.

The doors opened and the guard muttered, 'you shouldn't ask questions. That's your psych's job.' He gave another guttural chuckle, shoving Lily out onto the white floors. Lily gulped. There were more people on this floor, running by her, some walking, some distressed, others bored. As far as she could see, she was the only one in handcuffs on this level.

Lily hadn't exactly been a fan of her psych sessions back at Hardwick. For one thing, she knew perfectly well that she hadn't killed her mother, yet here was some poor doctor trying to convince her that she had. Her first doctor had known she hadn't killed her mother; he always looked guilty whenever she sat down. She suspected he'd been paid to keep it quiet and in the end he had dropped her as a patient.

Her next doctor hadn't been aware of this same fact and would get quickly frustrated if Lily tried to say she hadn't killed her mother. But other than compulsive lying and an inability to face the truth, she hadn't been able to diagnose Lily with anything like schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder.

Lily sighed as the guard pushed her into a spacious room with lots of seats and a bored looking secretary, her black hair tied into a bun. As the guard made to shove her again, Lily couldn't help but flare up.

'Stop pushing me!'

'Who's this?' the secretary asked, raising one heavily plucked eyebrow. The clock above her head read 7:30.

'New girl, as the good doctor requested,' the guard replied and Lily tried to smile, tried to make a good impression. She couldn't though – not if she was going to be assigned another doctor and another session. Instead, she just looked at the ground and decided she was going to lie. Just agree with whatever they think, she decided glumly. She'd never leave anyway. It was just the way it would be.

The secretary sighed, starting to type on her computer before answering 'He's in. Just drop her in his office.'

I'm right here, talk to me, Lily thought irritably. She'd simmered into a rather ugly mood and before the guard could throw her forwards, she turned around and snapped, 'I can walk!'

The guard rolled his eyes and gestured mockingly to the closed door – with her hands cuffed behind her back, there was no way she would be able to open it without having to look really stupid. Lily glowered at him, turning on her heel, impatiently waiting for him to open the door while looking at her feet. She heard the creaking of the door and the guard said through a throat full of gravel 'Step right in.'

Lily rolled her eyes and stepped into the room, averting her gaze from the guard's smirking face. It was a nice looking office, especially after considering the state the rest of the asylum was in – she could see one of those good ol' black leather couches, where she was supposed to admit to her mother's death or whatever. Lily stopped short when she saw just who was behind the desk.

Dr. Crane regarded her through those beautiful (but bored) blue eyes of his. Was she just imagining it or did he look just a tad more interested than he had before he'd noticed her?

There's no point convincing yourself of something that isn't there, Lily told herself, ducking her head a little under his scrutiny. Sure, he was attractive (understatement) but that didn't mean she was allowed to have little fantasies about the guy who believed her to be her mother's killer. Or at least, he would soon. Anyway, Lily had learned to focus on anything but the asylum in her fantasies.

'Handcuffs? Really?' Dr. Crane asked, cocking a brow at the guard who was still standing in the doorway. Lily caught a quick glance at the young doctor while he wasn't so focused on her. She couldn't tell if he seemed arrogant, unimpressed or annoyed. But the way he raised one eyebrow was unthinkably sexy.

Okay, this is going to be a long session.

'She's a criminal,' the guard replied sarcastically. Lily looked over her shoulder, glowering at him.

'Well then, Miss Altridge, would you care to tell me if you've planned to do anything illegal or at least exceedingly verboten within the next forty minutes?' she heard Crane say and her head whipped back, unsure of whether he was serious. He sure looked it.

Lily shook her head. 'Um, no. I have not.'

Crane gave the guard an impassive glance. 'Take them off.'

The guard grumbled something under his breath and Lily felt the bonds around her wrists loosen. She pulled her hands to her midriff, rubbing her wrists. The door shut behind her and it was just the two of them.

Lily swallowed, forcing herself to meet the gaze of her new doctor. 'Thanks?'

He sighed, gesturing to the couch. She hastily did as he requested, waiting for him to say something as he looked through a file she assumed was her own.

'Well, as far these reports can show, uh,' Crane looked up, a little bemused, which Lily ignored the appeal of, 'there's nothing exceptionally wrong with you. Unless you'd care to fill me in on something your previous doctors missed?'

'Um,' Lily said, blankly. Wasn't he supposed to tell her what was wrong? She resisted the urge to say yes, but I killed them before they could tell anyone, afraid it would be taken seriously. 'Yeah. I mean, I guess so…' She trailed off, unable to really help him. Wasn't it his job to diagnose her anyway? 'It's probably… because of the reason I'm in here,' she stated. Although she'd mentally agreed to say she was guilty, she couldn't bring herself to say 'I killed my mother'.

Crane looked back at her file, gave a brief nod and looked back up, interlocking his long fingers. 'You're responsible for the murder of Emma Altridge?'

'Oh yeah,' Lily nodded nonchalantly, although inside it stung. He arched at eyebrow at her response and Lily decided she was probably being too casual. But she couldn't do anything better. 'That was me.'

Crane stared at her for a few moments. Lily looked calmly back, wondering if his eyes could appear translucent under certain lighting. After clearing his throat, Crane looked back down at her file. 'Not that you aren't very convincing, Miss Altridge –'

Lily felt shocked when she caught the sarcastic tone in his voice. 'Wait,' she said, unable to help herself, and he looked back up, 'you – you don't think I killed her?' This couldn't be right; maybe it was like a doctor-patient exercise. Yeah, he'd convince her that he could help her, take her side, make her trust him. Yeah, that was what it had to be.

'Did you?' Crane asked interestedly – but it was said in a way that made sure both occupants of the room knew Lily really hadn't.

Stunned, Lily shook her head. 'No.'

'I believe you,' Crane said amiably. Her heart jumped.

'Then you're crazy,' Lily summed up. This had to be a joke; especially coming from a resident of Gotham City!

Crane glanced at her and both eyebrows rose this time. 'This coming from the mental patient?'

Lily put a hand over her eyes, unable to refrain from grinning because he believed her. 'True, true,' she added, letting her hand fall to her lap. She hesitated for a moment. 'Doctor Crane?' She looked at her feet. 'Do you think… do you think you could get me out of here?'

The second after she said it, Lily felt embarrassed. She didn't know why, considering it was perfectly normal for a sane person to want to get out of a mental asylum. Her doctor ran a hand through his hair to push away a few strands that had fallen in his face. Lily couldn't help but notice again how sharp his cheekbones were.

'I think we both know your stepfather wouldn't let that happen.'

Lily's mouth dropped open. How did he know about her stepfather? Catching her stunned expression, Crane added, 'It was all over the papers, Lily. I wouldn't be surprised if at least half of Gotham's population is aware of who really killed your mother.'

Lily looked at her knees. 'It wasn't him personally,' she said to them, glad the words could run like ink on walls. 'He – he hired somebody. He came running through the door after I got there. I think he – I mean, he couldn't risk the evidence so he got someone else to do it. I could see it on his face.' Lily shuddered before noticing Crane was looking at her very intently. 'Sorry, this is probably really weird or whatever –' she began.

'Certainly. You are, in fact, the strangest patient I've encountered at Arkham,' he agreed dryly. She liked how he didn't seem to revel in his own sarcasm.

'Well… thank you,' Lily said, still a little wary.

Crane's eyes scanned over her face again. 'Hm.'

'So… if you know I'm not crazy and I still have these sessions with you,' Lily said, trying not to sound too hopeful at the prospect of sitting in a room with a cute guy who believed her, 'what am I supposed to talk about?'

Crane looked at her file again. 'Well, we could start with how you feel about being sentenced to an asylum for a crime you didn't commit?'

'Broad topic,' Lily agreed.


After she left his office, Jonathan took a deep breath in, rubbing his temples. It was hard not to just stare at her; he just wanted to study her features, convince himself that the striking girl in front of him was indeed the kid who used to live in his street and had given him a toy dog. She'd probably noticed that he'd watched her a little too long…

He removedhis glasses. He didn't need this right now, didn't need any distraction from the groundbreaking work he was doing in Gotham. He'd had to stop himself from asking her if she remembered anything from her childhood, where she'd lived, on what street…? It was probably too soon for her to know right now.

Lily Altridge didn't remember him. Not yet. But it didn't take a genius to understand that she found him attractive. And the prospect of her finding him attractive was a very endearing one.