Rodney had been quite co-operative, he thought, for the entire first day. He'd answered questions calmly enough after the first shocks had had time to sink in, and he had recited useless facts about his life for a rapt Heightmeyer.

The drugs had worked out of his system, so by the evening he was thinking as clearly as ever and he'd had enough. From what he could tell, aside from a few startling differences, he and his alternate reality counterpart were remarkably similar, so he didn't think they'd react ,much when he snuck out of the infirmary during the late night shift change. It was what he usually did when Carson worried too much and needlessly wanted to keep him for observation.

His first stop was a little-used lab where he could pilfer one of the laptops and access the database. It wasn't that he didn't trust Radek's claim that there was no such device, he just needed to do some checking for himself.

It turned out that Radek had been correct. There wasn't, nor had there ever been, anything found in this reality that matched the description of what Rodney had been fiddling with back in his reality.

It had taken him most of the night to reach that conclusion and, while he fully intended to find a way home as soon as possible, he really was very sleepy. He brushed back the short curls that now framed his face and pushed himself up.

He made his way back to his quarters on autopilot, almost running headlong into the door before he realized it hadn't opened for him.

Tired and confused, it was a moment's work on autopilot to open the door. The lights sprung up and Rodney blinked, confused, as a man jumped up from the bed, instantly awake in the way that could only mean he was a soldier.

"Ma'am!" The soldier looked nervous. "Is something wrong?"

Rodney blinked again at the man, taking in the pajama pants and bare chest, and then the rest of the room.

"Oh, god. This isn't my room." Rodney shook his head, clearing it.

"Ah, no, ma'am." He shifted awkwardly.

"I'll just- Sorry," Rodney stuttered, bewildered. His brain kicked in again. "Been a long day, you know. Sorry. I'm just going to-" He pointed out of the room and ran.

Now embarrassed on top of it all, Rodney headed the only place he could think of. Even in this reality, where he shared quarters with Sheppard, if they weren't in his room they had to be in John's.

This time when John's room wouldn't let him in he at least had the presence of mind not to barge in, but that left him without a clue as to where he might live right now. Giving in to fate, he made his way to one of the common rooms and passed out on the couch.

...

He was shaken awake only a few hours later by a group he was beginning to loathe. John's hand moved from his shoulder to the back of his head, smoothing down a few curls.

"God, Mer, you scared us."

He stepped back to let Rodney sit up and get a better look at the others. Carson was shuffling from one foot to another in the doorway, and Heightmeyer had her arms folded, standing in the middle of the room.

"Don't look at me like that, I just did some research and crashed." Rodney waved a hand dismissively.

Both John and Heightmeyer looked ready to talk but Carson cut them off. "Let's take this somewhere else. Back to the infirmary, I think."

...

"I just needed to check."

"So you broke out and stole a laptop?

"I didn't steal it. And yes. I'm fine, you have no reason to keep me here."

"Maybe not before, but, Mer, you wandered around and fell asleep in a rec room."

"Please, I've slept in worse places."

"You broke into Lt. Larson's quarters last night."

"I thought they were mine!"

"Exactly! Mer, you're confused. That can't happen again."

...

What really bothered Rodney is that he was confused. He was definitely male inside his head but he'd sat down without thinking about it the first time he'd gone to the bathroom. He found himself tucking an errant curl behind his ear with a smooth practiced move one moment and the next being so distracted by it Kate had noticed and offered to get him a headband.

And that wasn't the worst part. When they'd finally finished and let him go that morning with a warning to take it easy and come back if he noticed himself becoming confused again he'd found himself heading down a completely unfamiliar corridor with only the notion that it lead home but no memory of why home would be that way. When he made it to his lab he found a group of biologists there instead but couldn't for the life of him remember why or where his stuff was.

Several times that afternoon, after having found his lab, he could tell them exactly how some of the projects were going to turn out—things he knew were knowledge gained from his own Atlantis, but other times realized he knew what was going on with things they'd never had the time for in his universe.

As much as he hated the infirmary at the moment and hated the thought of searching out help he found himself back under the worried eyes of Carson when he'd touched something he was sure they, back on his Atlantis, had found depleted. It turned out to be the Ancient equivalent of an easy-bake oven. He was just lucky all he had was a burn and not radiation poisoning.

"I'm worried, Mer, this isn't safe."

"I'm fine Carson. It was a mistake." He'd rapidly given up on getting them to call him Rodney.

"One I've been assured you wouldn't have made. Dr. Simpson was very worried when you disregarded your own warning."

Rodney bit his lip, he didn't want to admit it but he felt like he might be losing his mind.

"Kate and I agree you shouldn't be left alone right now."

"What! No, Carson, I can take care of myself."

"I'm sorry, Mer, this is relatively minor, but we can't risk worse if you're having problems. Kate and John should be here soon. When she's done John can take you home but until you find your footing again it's just not safe for you to be unsupervised."

"You make it sound like I'm some kind of child!" Rodney pulled his hand away from Carson's ministrations indignantly.

"Mer, look at me."

He complied with an eyeroll.

"We were lucky today. If you forget again you could do much worse. Tell me you don't know I have to do this."

Rodney swallowed, he knew what he could to do himself or others if he slipped up again with something really dangerous. He hated this, but Carson was right. "Yeah."

When Kate had finished with him John was waiting. Rodney wanted out of the infirmary almost more than anything right now but going home with John felt like a concession to this universe, and an intrusion on the life of the woman whose body he currently inhabited. He had no right. He pulled Carson aside, "Is there any place else I can stay."

"You don't want to go home?" Carson looked shocked.

"Believe me, I can't believe I'm saying it either."

"Well, I suppose we can put you in one of the private rooms here, there's always a nurse on the clock."

Rodney considered that for a moment, "fine."

...

The next day he had a steady stream of visitors, which made him actually grateful that the Three Musketeers had corrected him on his version of the history of Atlantis. He would have had several heart attacks. As it was he still got choked up a few times.

Elizabeth was first. She gave him a hug and then proceeded to tell the tale of Atlantis for him. Even though he'd heard some of it before, it was nearly enough to take his mind off his situation.

As far as he could tell, it all boiled down to them having an extra ZPM in the beginning. That one singular event had changed the course of history.

The emergency protocols didn't raise them and they hadn't gone right out and run into the Wraith. Meredith had raised the city after a few weeks. Sumner organized gate teams and sent John's to the first address they found. At least that was still Athos, but Teyla hadn't become a resident of Atlantis then, just their first and best ally. Meredith had never been on permanent assignment to a gate team; none of the scientists had. Sumner's idea, obviously.

A few encounters with the Wraith over the first year and they'd played it safe, not needing to risk much. Once the Daedalus showed up they started working on a plan to neutralize the Wraith threat, but with Sumner as military head they arranged a coordinated assault instead of a retrovirus. Mer and Radek had the daunting task of creating and organizing all the explosives. Earth could only commit so much to the cause, but they had proved creative. It worked. The Wraith were scattered and easy to pick off and now were nearly extinct. Every now and then a cloning facility or secret base would become a problem but they had gotten very good at getting information from the Wraith before blowing things up and the threat was constantly diminishing. Elizabeth didn't seem too happy with the idea of mass genocide and Rodney was really glad that it hadn't gotten so bad here that the lines between right and wrong had started to blur even for her.

In a desperate move on the part of the few remaining Wraith, they went after Atlantis's trading partners and allies. The Athosians, the kids, and a few others were attacked by the Wraith. Atlantis saved those they could and, with the power to open whole suburbs within Atlantis, the refugees weren't shuttled off onto other societies. They were free to stay, building a community Elizabeth seemed truly proud of.

It hadn't been a walk in the park for this universe, but with the extra ZPM they'd been able to take on all comers and the galaxy was more at peace than it had been in over ten thousand years.

Elizabeth left Rodney only to be replaced once again by John. Apparently Heightmeyer had a plan because he started talking, picking up Elizabeth's tale with a personal twist.

They'd been nearly at each other's throats, John trying to find his place as XO and Meredith far too busy setting up the labs as CSO to listen to him. Some things would always be the same, though, because all that changed the instant Mer insisted John shoot her when she found the personal shield.

That was the beginning of a slow but steady courtship, though John may have phrased it differently. A few months of flirting and two years of dating later and they moved in together. Nearly another year later, despite both their trepidation, they were married.

Rodney had to but in at this moment, "But, well—" It wasn't exactly a taboo topic for them but this wasn't his John and he didn't want to make this any worse than it already was. "You're not really, you know, into girls that much, right?"

John tilted his head to the side, smiling, and said, "I remember the first time I told you that. I was kinda worried how you'd take it, that you were the first woman in a long time. But you were great. It all worked out. I love you, and that's all that matters."

Rodney didn't really know how to respond to that so he made a vague motion for John to continue his story.

Throughout it all Sumner and John came to tolerate each other, coordinating their opposite styles instead of arguing. John was promoted to CO when Sumner retired just last year. Ford was promoted and chose to take over his gate team, so John only went out when he had to now, Lorne stepping into the XO position Ford didn't want.

John and Mer bickered and snarked, and apparently more than one person had said their idea of flirting looked more like biting each other's heads off, but it had worked for them and John loved her. Rodney felt horrible for what John was going through but it didn't change his perception.

Rodney loved John, truly, but it was just as John had said once, in the way a friend loves another friend. He knew now that, had it occurred to him to feel more than friendship toward John, he would have. He could easily have fallen for him.

Radek was next, telling him all about the projects they had going and the amazing discoveries they'd made. Rodney didn't have the heart to tell him that apparently necessity really was the mother of invention because, while they had the time to thoroughly work even the theoretical stuff out, they just hadn't been pushed into making the kinds of leaps Rodney had seen these past years. They had peace. Several years earlier Rodney wouldn't have thought it worth the loss in scientific progress but now he knew better.

Ford, as obnoxious as he could be in any universe, was raised right and came by to tell him about his last trip to see his grandparents and give Rodney a get-well card signed by a good handful of the marines Mer had been on missions with.

Grodin stopped by because he thought Mer might like to hear about the new subspace communications system of hers they'd finally gotten most of the kinks out of.

Cadman, Katie, and Teyla came by on behalf of the whole crew at Ladies' Poker Night. Teyla stayed late. She told Rodney of how the Athosians had a whole section of Atlantis and how many of them lived partially here and partially on the mainland, where the other agricultural refugees they'd picked up were working on a harvest for the city. She had spent nearly a year on John's away team before he was promoted, but with Torren, she too had dropped off her mission load and now did mostly trading missions to established partners. She also told him how much she had enjoyed their last double date.

It was only after everyone left, finally done with memory lane, that he realized nobody had mentioned Ronon.

...

As soon as the night shift came on and Keller convinced John to go get some rest, Rodney put his plan into motion. Rodney had never taken orders well and it wasn't like he was doing anything that could endanger anyone, no matter what his mind threw at him. He hated the thought of how dependent he was right now and needed to do something. This time he was going to do more than just trust their catalogue on Ancient tech. He made a quick stop at a military supply closet for a flashlight and tablet, and then headed toward subsection D.

...

Only it turned out they had been right. If the device was in this universe, it wasn't where it had been found in his.

Not only that, but his reprieve didn't last nearly as long as he'd hoped. John burst through the doors with a team of marines only four hours after he'd left the infirmary.

John's face was nearly blank in a way that Rodney knew meant he was upset and more than a little worried. Possibly angry, he added when John slapped his radio. "I've got her."

The other marines waited at the door but John moved closer. "Mer?"

"Don't you have anything better to do than babysit me?

"You're my wife, Meredith, I'm worried."

"Well, stop it. This is what I do, Sheppard, I just want to fix this. Then you can have her back and I can go home."

"There's nothing to fix here-"

"I told you-"

"Stop! You're not someone called Rodney, Mer, and you need to let Beckett and Heightmeyer get you better." It was John's special brand of coping; ignoring the problem. Right now it wouldn't matter how convincing his argument, Rodney wouldn't get more than this blind denial born of fear.

"I need to get home."

"You are home."

"Shut up, you're being deliberately obtuse. You know what I mean."

John took the last step closer and wrapped a hand gently around Rodney's arm. "Come on, we're going back to the infirmary."

...

He tried again to reason with them, to explain, but with an expedition that he now knew had never seen Cadman and him inhabit the same body, never had John and Elizabeth taken over by nearly dead malicious aliens, never had to move to another planet with plants that could make you forget who you were, never seen Jennifer possessed, they just couldn't grasp what he was trying to tell them. Mental illness was so much more likely and the worst part is that he was afraid he was starting to believe it, too. Heightmeyer was strongly suggesting a drug regimen.

...

Rodney McKay did not give up easily. He had no idea why they thought Meredith would. The next day he left. The nurses on duty obviously didn't expect such a maneuver. It was really just too easy to walk past them, though he knew it wouldn't be long before someone came after him, they were still worried he might hurt himself, with a bandage still on his hand to remind them. No matter how much he knew they might be right he wouldn't give in any more than he already had. He was already banned from the dangerous parts of the city and was watched closely while in the labs.

He wasn't giving up. They couldn't make him stop looking for a way home, and even if the device wasn't in subsection D, information on it might be.

He locked the rest of them out of the area before John could come bust him this time.

"Meredith, let me in!"

Rodney sighed as the city intercom blared to life, remembering that he'd left his radio in his infirmary room. "Colonel, I know this is hard for you but I'm going home."

"Mer, please don't do this to me," he whispered and Rodney knew the whole city was probably pretending they couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"I'll get Radek."

Rodney laughed. "Go ahead."

"Fine."

"Fine." And the intercom went quiet again.

...

While it may have been true that this Radek had nothing on the other one, it was also true that he was no idiot. Rodney hadn't made any kind of progress and in an embarrassingly short amount of time, only five hours, Radek had made it through the firewalls and Rodney was only ahead of him because he was typing constantly to put up another obstacle before Radek cut down the previous one. It was only a matter of time before hypoglycemia kicked in and he wasn't moving fast enough to stay ahead.

John burst into the room with a med team, led by none other than Beckett and Heightmeyer, obviously expecting some resistance. Rodney was peeved, he'd honestly expected to have this either solved or at least have enough to convince them, and he was jittery and tired. He found himself backed into a corner repeating the same sentiments he'd been saying over the past few days but to no avail. He was soon back in the infirmary.

...

Kate was still pushing the drugs. She thought it would help Mer cope with Rodney but he was hoping it would work the other way around. He took them.