Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I really appreciate it. I hope that everyone is enjoying the story so far. Review and tell me what you think, and I love to hear your ideas. Rosalie

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Meredith sat on her bed by herself, looking at her feet. She had been sitting that way for a while, and didn't plan on moving any time soon. She was very confused, and trying to absorb everything that she had heard, but it wasn't going very well. It wasn't clicking in her mind. I mean, she was Lexie, and she was annoying, and yes she made her impatient, but she was there, and Meredith was almost used to that. Just the fact that she wasn't, and wouldn't be there…that was just crazy.

"Crazy, right?" she said to the empty room, but no one answered her. The room was dark and it slightly freaked her out. But she did not feel like getting up and turning the light on. She was almost afraid to, like someone would jump out at her and take her like they did to Lexie.

Downstairs, Derek, Alex, George, Izzie and Cristina were all sitting in silence, all thinking about what had happened. It seemed so unreal; you heard of it happening to other people, but you never expected it to actually happen to someone that you know. They did not even want to think about it. It was too horrible to imagine, especially right now. Ever, even.

They all thought of the last time they saw her, for they all had been there. Meredith thought about it more than any of them did, even Alex, who could think of hardly anything else. He should have run after her when she left like that. He should've known better. But he just let her go, out into the night by herself. And she couldn't have been out there that long. If he would have just followed her. Then they all wouldn't be sitting there, trying to figure out what to do.

Derek remembered thinking about the possibility that this had happened. Of course he just thought he was being paranoid again, like Meredith kept saying. Yet he was right. The unspeakable had happened. He wondered what this was going to do to Meredith. He really didn't know how exactly was going to effect her. They hadn't been close, and they hadn't even known each other for that long. But they were still sisters. And Meredith was still the one that had caused her to walk out into the night by herself.

Meredith thought of this as she sat in the dark. She wondered if she hadn't yelled, maybe just told her off nicely, this wouldn't have happened. She already knew the answer to that; of course it wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't have run out like that. She probably would have left with Alex and ended up at her house, as much as she disliked it.

What had been the big problem with Lexie anyway? What had it really been? She never did anything wrong. She was just there, and that was enough for Meredith to hate her. That wasn't very cool, not at all.

So just go, Lexie. I don't want to talk to you.

That was the last thing she said to her. That was the last thing she left with. Lexie had died, hating her, and thinking Meredith hated her back.

There was a knock at the door. Meredith did not move or say anything. She was in no mood to speak to anyone. Who knows, she could say the wrong thing and they'd walk out just to get slaughtered by some crazy guy and also die hating her.

But the door opened anyway without permission. Meredith's eyes traveled up for a moment, but then she looked back at her feet. Derek sat down at the end of the bed and tried to catch her eye, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Meredith?" he said gently, but she ignored him. He wondered how he'd get her to talk. She probably would only talk to her friends, like she always did. But he at least had to try. He could not stop himself. She needed him, whether she liked it or not.

"I'm guessing you don't feel like talking anytime soon," he said, and still got no response. He wondered if she even heard him, or if he was completely tuned out. He did not know what it would take for her to open up to him. But then she did.

"I yelled at her, Derek," Meredith said in a hollow voice without looking at him. "And she didn't deserve it but I did it anyway because I felt that I should. And then someone grabbed her off the streets. How messed up is that."

He looked at her sadly. He could not imagine how she felt. The worst possible thing that could happen did, and now she had the weight of this guilt on her shoulders.

"It isn't your fault," he said carefully. "You had no way of knowing that she-"

"If I wouldn't have yelled at her, she wouldn't have run out there, and she wouldn't have been beaten to death."

He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't, because that same thought was currently going through his mind, as much as he wished that it wouldn't. She looked at him with a lost expression, a confused, helpless expression.

"I yelled at her, Derek," she said quietly, "and now I can't take it back."

He put his arms around her, and to his surprise, he did not fight him, but embraced him back and held him tight.

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The next morning Meredith got ready for work, despite the others saying that she should take the day off, or at least some time. She refused, said she was fine, and told them to leave her alone. When she arrived at work, many people seemed to be in discussion about Lexie and what had happened. Many people looked at Meredith as she passed, but Meredith ignored them all and acted like she was oblivious to the world around her.

The room was quiet as the residents got ready to start their day. Alex left before them all and never said a word to anybody. Meredith watched him go, and for a moment had the urge to speak to him, apologize or something, but he left before she was able to. Izzie watched Meredith's gaze, and then went up to her and spoke hesitantly.

"Mer, if you want-"

"No, Izzie."

Izzie closed her mouth and went back over to George. She whispered something to him, and he looked over at Meredith for a moment then quickly looked away. They then left together, and Meredith didn't say anything to them about talking about her behind her back. Everyone else was doing the same thing anyway. Cristina and Meredith were left in the silent room together. Cristina cleared her throat.

"So," she said.

"Yeah," Meredith sighed.

"I know you-" Cristina looked at her for a moment. Mer looked back, and they simply stared at each other for several moments until Cristina looked away.

"I should go, I have interns to-" She stopped again and there was another awkward silence. Cristina seemed to debate whether she wanted to try and say anything again, but obviously decided against it and left the room, leaving Meredith by herself.

Meredith sighed as she stood in the silent room. She did not like the silence, because when it was silent thoughts filled her mind, and she didn't feel like thinking any longer. After she pulled herself together, she left the room, and found Bailey standing there, apparently waiting for her. Meredith looked at her for a moment, and then turned away with no desire to speak to her.

"Grey," Bailey called after her, and Meredith stopped. "If you-" she caught up to her "-if you need to-take anytime off, or- anything, you-"

"No," Meredith said, turning around t o face her. "I don't need anything. Nothing you can give me at least. And time off won't do me any good, trust me. I just want to be here for now. Whatever."

Bailey was looking at her in an almost pitying way, and Meredith did not like that. She turned away from her and continued to where she was going.

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Many people did indeed talk about Lexie that day and what had happened to her, making it hard for Meredith to escape it like she was planning to. Everywhere she went, Lexie was there too. She could not escape it, and didn't think she was going to.

But the worst thing was not the gossiping people. The worst thing of the day was when her father showed up at the hospital.

Meredith was at in the clinic, looking through some charts, since Bailey refused to let her do anything else. She had been trying to tune out everyone that day, but when she heard his voice, she found herself unable to tune it out.

She turned around, not wanting to see what she knew was before her. But it was indeed the man that was her father, obviously drunk, his eyes red, talking in a hardly audible voice.

"Meredith," he said, stumbling in front of her as she backed away and a couple nurses tried to restrain him without much luck. "Did you hear what happened?"

"I-"

"My daughter," he said with a small laugh, "was found in an alleyway after she ad been killed, beaten to death you know. Did you know that? Can you believe that? And my wife died too, did you know that?"

Meredith opened her mouth but no sound came out, shaking her head. The nurses were saying his name as he fell right in front of Meredith.

"Both of them," he whispered. "Can you believe it?"

The nurses were able to drag him away as he screamed her name over and over, along with Lexie and Susan. Meredith turned away for a moment, and once they were gone, she ran out of the clinic, wondering why this kept on happening.