Disclaimer:Yeah, who doesn't wish they owned the rights to Twilight? I'd be so rich I wouldn't be writing fanfiction I'd be sitting on my butt next to several really hot guys.

Author's note: I hope you like this---------PLEASE REVIEW??!!!!!

Chapter Three

I thought about Jared before I went to bed every night for the next two weeks. I continued to sleep badly and my dreams were haunted by lonely gray wolves. My brother went back to college and promised to bring Clarissa next time he visited. For some reason Paul continued to make my already desolate life even worse. Tripping me, mocking me, and exploiting my faults every chance he got, Paul continued to add to my never ending torture. And the torture continued to get steadily worse.

The Friday after my brother left I'd had enough. The lack of sleep and continuous Jared deprivation made me go insane, and with that insanity came a lack of inhibition that would have led many to their doom. Naturally, the lack of mind and matter led to many mortifying situations. After Paul had dumped the fifth lunch tray of that week into my lap, I grew so annoyed that I decided to actually do something about it. Gathering my nonexistent courage, I stood to confront my tormentor. No one noticed me as I walked across the cafeteria, but a thrill of adrenaline surged through me when I thought of what I was going to do.

Wondering vaguely if it truly was the lack of sleep that led me to my actions, or if it was simply too much time longing for an event that would never come, I made it to the table Paul and his friends always sat at.

"Excuse me," I said, making sure to be polite "Sorry for the interruption but, Paul , could you come with me. I'd like to talk to you." I knew that the way I was speaking was probably a little much, but there was no way I could have said anything else without yelling at the teenage boys who did not, in fact, look like teenage boys. Obviously the aforementioned teenage boys agreed with me because they stared at me as if I'd grown horns, and was asking them to follow me into the deep abyss.

"Wha-" One of Paul's friends asked so shocked that he couldn't form a coherent statement.

"What did you say?" Paul asked, translating the words that his friend was stuttering over.

"Could you please come with me, Paul. I would like to talk to you." I repeated trying to keep my impatience form leaking into my voice. There must have been something in my tone of voice, because after that Paul got quietly to his feet and followed me out of the room.

As soon as we had left the cafeteria I spun around to glare at him. "What is your problem?" I asked. Without waiting for an answer I continued "Even a nobody like me can tell that something is up with you. I don't even know you, but you have dumped three lunch trays in my lap and have tripped me about five hundred times! All within the last two weeks!" I was over exaggerating, but he got my point.

He just stood there looking down at me. I'd have been scared if it weren't for how much he worried me. What if Jared is the same? What if I was wrong about him? Could it possibly be that the sweet, quiet, and brave boy I imagined had been a lie? What if when he comes back he joins Paul in his torture? And other various questions ran through my mind constantly angering me more than anything else in the world. Still, my anger didn't last and it left me as I voiced those four sentences and gave him that glare. My nature made me ashamed for my outburst and made me worry about his sudden and apparent change in nature. By what I'd seen he hadn't bothered anyone else and he'd never done anything really destructive. That is, if you ignored the three pairs of pants my mother no longer let me wear.

He was shaking very violently and I couldn''t hide my concerned frown. Which made him shake even more. He looks so upset, I thought feeling guilty.

"Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" He looked shocked at my questions and gave me an exasperated look. "What? I don't think you're all that bad. Is that hard to believe?" I asked putting my hands on my hips and raising an eyebrow. The way his eyes were bugging out almost made me laugh. My mind was in a very odd state, and my moods changed in two seconds. My going from angry and upset to concerned and motherly must have freaked Paul out.

"I've been treating you like shit for the past two weeks and you're asking me if I'm okay?" he asked through gritted teeth, "I'm about five times your size and you are brave enough to drag me out of the cafeteria to yell at me?" he asked his voice was getting louder and his shaking was increasing.

"Did I yell?" I muttered to myself, he looked even more shocked and that prompted me to speak again. "Yeah. I told you, I don't think you're all that bad." I said, "Are you okay?" I repeated worriedly, he was turning an odd greenish-white color.

"I think I've lost my mind." he said brushing his hair out of his eyes. I reached up on my toes and put my hand to his forehead. He flinched away from it. I flinched too, his forehead was hotter than a burner on high.

"Yikes!! Paul, you should be dead by now! Your head is on fire!" I cried out pulling my hand back. I started to look around nervously for a nurse. I didn't handle emergencies well and if he started seizing within the next few minutes I would most certainly start freaking out. For his sake I hoped someone else was around, because there was no way my panicking could keep him from biting off his tongue.

"Would your understanding have anything to do with me being Jared's best friend?" He asked. I blushed at the accusation, I'd hoped he hadn't bothered to remember the collapsing binder fiasco.

That Monday he had tripped me on the stairs, and as I tried to save myself from a broken neck, I dropped all my books. I watched them spread themselves across the stair case, and groaned as I began picking things up. Maria, who had been walking with me bent to help me, after glaring at a laughing Paul, and I realized that one of my binders had broken open. My Trig, biology, and history notes were scattered along with my books and folders.

Maria accidentally overturned a page of notes I had scribbled on in my Trigonometry class. It was my favorite subject, but I was so good at it that scribblings were common among sheets of neatly written algorithms. The very embarrassing scribbles were clearly visible, on the back of the paper there was a wolf staring up at me with soulful eyes and underneath the wolf Jared+Kim was written in bold bubble letters. I hurried to grab it from her before anyone saw it, but a large, brown, hot hand had beat me to it. I spun around to stare at the owner of the hand. It was none other than Paul. He glanced down at the page and started laughing as I frantically snatched it away from him. I shredded the notes and tried to ignore the smile on his face knowing that he would tell Jared as soon as he came back to school. The memory would forever be engraved in my memory as "The Collapsing Binder Fiasco of Doom."

The fact that Paul thought I was so obsessed that it would affect my judgment angered me. Jared had nothing to do with my opinion of Paul. Paul was he one who affected my opinion of Jared, and at that moment it seemed like Jared had drowned in a river of evil in my mind. Paul was stupid if he thought that Jared had an affect on my decision. I looked him in the eyes and said fiercely "No, not at all. I've seen you get rid of about five bullies. You've never bullied anyone yourself before. Just because no-one notices me doesn't mean I don't notice everyone else." I said " Besides, I like Jared but that doesn't mean I have to like his friends." Might as well say it since Paul already knows about my crush. I thought as bravely as I could.

Apparently that was all Paul could handle because after staring for two more minutes he turned and walked quickly out of the school. I stared after him shocked at the affect I'd had on him. Was I really that terrible? I stood for twenty minutes staring at the door he'd gone through, trying not to cry. When the bell rang I picked up my things and headed to class, more confused than I remembered ever being in my life.


When I got home I ran to my room and cried myself to sleep. My dreams were restless and filled with doubts and subconscious wanderings. The only thing I could remember about my dreams by morning was that there had been more than a lone gray wolf in my dreams. There had been three.

The three wolves were all different colors, sizes and shapes. One was a deep black that matched the darkest night, it was huge and seemed to be much older than the others, but not elderly, no, it was still very strong. The second was the smallest, and had fur of a deep dark silver, he was awkward in his movements and seemed like he couldn't believe what was going on. The gray one was indescribably beautiful, as usual, his eyes still that startling shade of brown that sent thrills running through me.

The silver wolf started out all alone in a clearing. He was whimpering paws on top of his head as if he were trying to rid himself of nightmares. I watched from above as if I were a bird swooping in to see his eyes and then swooping away again to view him from above. He sat there and looked so sad, so scared, that it was impossible to imagine what had happened to him. I could tell that he was trying to bury himself under his paws, digging for a way out with his mind.

The other two, the black and gray ones, were running in the woods. Before long they were in the same clearing as the silver one. They entered slowly so as not to scare the whining wolf. The black wolf entered first, but the gray soon pulled ahead in front eagerly skipping to the silver one lying on the grass. He yipped happily at the silver wolf, the obvious joy inside it made the wolf appear like he was floating, and it made me smile from my safe spot in the sky. The silver wolf's head raised and it stood up to stare into the dark brown eyes set deep inside the gray wolf's face. The corner of the gray's mouth lifted up on the right side and he gave a friendly bark. The dream translated his yipping into a cocky "Took you long enough."

The silver one barked back, his sounds translating into the fragmented question "The hell?!!!?"

Then they continued to converse in their odd wolfy way. The dream no longer translated their communication, but there was no need. Dreaming of talking to wolves was something I didn't enjoy. Soon the black one began to bark, too. They began to draw together in the middle of the clearing. They didn't seem to notice, it was as if the addition of the silver wolf had lifted a weight off of the two other wolves and made them become one. a tight-knit trio that needed no trouble.

At one point the gray wolf nudged the black one with his shoulder, the black one looked at him and then shook its head. It started to head out of the clearing and then there was only the gray and silver one left in the clearing. For a while the two wolves continued to talk to each other. Out of nowhere the gray one leapt over the silver one and landed twenty feet away from the other. The wolf spread its two front legs out and crouched down challenging the other wolf to attack. It did so with a loud bark. They began to roll around in a rough tussle. Somehow I knew it was just for play, and didn't start worrying. As it was I couldn't help but cheer for the gray one. I knew it would win, but still enjoyed the excitement of the match. It was so lighthearted it was as if their happiness was carrying me high up into the sky.

The grey wolf won and he pinned the silver one onto the ground nipping at its ear playfully. The silver one gave him a glare and walked over to a tree settling down to an exhausted sleep. The gray wasn't tired, though. He sat on his haunches, and stared up into the sky at the stars. He started howling a lonely howl. The wolf had a friend going through what he was, but he still longed for something else The howling lulled me into a deep contented sleep tinged with a sadness that, for once, wasn't my own.


For the next few weeks neither Paul nor Jared showed up at school. Paul hadn't been seen or talked to since he had walked out of the school after our confrontation. This made me guilty even though I tried to avoid blame.

The two wolves were in my dreams for the following days. Sometimes the two of them were so sad I woke up crying. Sometimes one would be sad and the other would attempt to cheer him up, the black wolf joined them every once in a while but left them alone most of the time. Other times they were both happy and playful making me wake up with a quiet happiness filling me. The wolves got increasingly cheerful as the days passed and after three weeks they were so happy I woke up crying from joy. As the wolves grew happier the dreams grew infrequent and short. My theory was that my dreams were a part of my Jared obsession. I decided I was going through withdrawal and that the steady progression to normal sleep led me to a time where I would no longer be obsessed with him. I thought that the dreams would soon lead me to a time where I could be happy with someone else, or, if need be, make me happy by myself.

After six weeks without Jared I felt completely rejuvenated. I woke up that Monday in a good mood. I wore my favorite t-shirt and pulled on an old pair of jeans. Dressing casually not caring at all about how I looked. I walked to school in happy spirits and even arrived early. The day was unusually nice, so I sat on a curb and looked up at the clouds. It was so beautiful that I spent the next fifteen minutes staring at it. I felt a wide peaceful smile crawl on my face, and walked into the school just as the bell rang.

As I walked through the door I felt a chill of foreboding warn me that something was going to occur that I wouldn't like. Crowds of students were stopping in corners to gossip. There were girls huddled up giggling and guys trying to impress girls with their knowledge of what was happening. The talking was louder than usual and the pointing was directed in one particular direction rather than at random people and sights. Two very large men were clearly visible at the end of the hall. As I recognized the taller of the two a fierce joy filled me followed immediately by a pain that was so strong I nearly fell to my knees.

Just like that a my good mood was both ruined and increased tenfold. He was back. Conflicting emotions filled me as I analyzed how he had changed. He had changed so much that I nearly cried. The changes made him only so much more out of my reach. I felt like I had just found out that my idol was gay. He was easy to see because he towered over the tops of the students' heads. He was at least eight inches taller, three feet broader, and, if possible, infinitely more handsome. He looked like he had aged ten years in one and a half months.

He is so beautiful, I thought, His face is exactly the same yet infinitely different. How could he be even more unreachable than before? He is so beautiful, I'd give anything to have him hold me for just a few seconds. The depressing thoughts filled me along with the joy I felt at seeing his face.

Wait, how the hell could he have gotten even taller??!!!! He was already the size of a building. What has he been eating and where can I get some? I wondered from some random corner of my mind.

We would sit next to each other in history. I would ask him for a pencil just like I had promised myself and he would give me one, and then he'd go back to ignoring me. He doesn't know you!!! my inner voice cried to me. The sight of him made everything worse I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him. I walked slowly to my locker and opened it mechanically. I put my back pack in and reached for my books, forgetting that I had put them on the top shelf. I looked up and jumped in the attempt to grab them. When I had finally yanked my books to ground level I headed to my Trig class. I got the urge to run home as fast as I could when I entered the classroom and sat down. I decided against it. I wanted to see Jared today. I wanted to talk to him.

And so I would wait through the torture of school.........and perhaps I would run home and pretend to be deathly ill shortly after third period.