AN: The doc is back, for the final cut. ( I can NOT beleive I just said that).

As Watermellon Jin drifted of into the darkness, despite the fact that it was broad daylight, a silver-haired man walked in Dr. Caligula's office.

"Heyloo, I am Lee." said the guy.

"I am doctor Caligula, and I will be your therapist for the day. Please lie down on the couch." said the doc, and the silver dude lied down.

"Gut. Now, wat seems to be your problem?" asked the doc.

"Well... I have been having these episodes, ya know... when I am too scared to do anything... anything at all. I sit in my office and sit, and then I am suddenly afraid that the desk will devour my pancreas." said Lee.

"Hmm..." thought the doc a little, before continuing. "This may result from eating too much sushi, ja."

"Doc, I don't eat sushi, it obstructs my social life." said the silver dude.

"Tell me about your social life." said the doc, invitingly.

"I have a lot of girlriends, yes... Girlfriend girlfriends, not girls who are friends. And I have boyfriends, I mean, boys who are friends, yes... I am very social." blurted out Lee, obviosly shaken.

"Und how do you feel about zis?" asked the doc, while scrawling something on his clipboard.

"I feel realy gay about this... I mean happy, yes. Happy that is."(AN: Gay is an archaic form of happy)

"Gut. Tell me about your muzzer." said the doc.

"I have a very large muzzer, thank you." said the silver dude self-importantly.

"No, not zat muzzer. Tell me about your female parrent, ja." immediately corrected Dr. Caligula.

"Ah... My mom." and Lee burst into tears. "I never knew my mother!"

"Gut! Tell me about your father." said the doc, seeming not to notice that Lee was reduced to a weeping bunch.

"I...sob... that asshole Heihachi adopted me when I was a kid. And then sent me to America, so he could piss of my idiot brother." more crying and Dr. Caligula scribbling on his clipboard.

"It seems to me zat you failed to have a role model in your childhood, thus resulting in..." the doc started speaking incredibly fast." ...your confusion in proper social behaviour, which in turns makes you voulnerable to peer pressure, resulting in your unability to form a secure ego without overexagerating about your abilities, which draws roots from your loveles childhood, which left you with no clear map as to how to succseed in life, thus enabling you to create an alternate reality in which you are omnipotent in contrast to your insecure self, an obviosly questionable Freudian miss, which may draw roots from your exagerated sibling rivalry with your brother and the culture shock that you may have experienced in America, where it is possible that you have been assimilated and lost touch with your roots which will explain your obsession with being an alpha male, which renders you incapable of expressing emotions, as suggested by the male gender stereotype, which in turn draws your emotions inward, causing them to wreac havoc on your insecure ego, which gives you little freedom as to act properly and leads to confusion in your sexual orientation, which is caused by forced polygamy enforced by peer pressure, thus rendering you incapable of happiness for the remainder of your natural life. Ja."

"Uhm... So the thing is..." asked Lee.

"You are gay and you must come out if you ever hope to live a happy life. Ja."

An awkward silence in which a coo-coo clock started to coo-coo. The silver dude shifted himself on the couch.

"I'm not gay. I'm straight." he saud, with an insecure tone to his voice.

"Come on, it is safe to come out." said the doc. "You don't have to pretend you are schtraight."

"Doc, I have a buhzilion girlfriends and three ex-wifes. I AM NOT GAY!" shouted Lee.

"Have you been paying attention to what I was saying?" asked the doc in outrage.

"Uhm...nope." said Lee.

"Well, if you did pay attention, you would have noticed that you try to hide your homosexuality by overimposing your masculinity."

"What does that mean?"

"You play a pimp in order to hide the fact that you are gay."

"I'm not gay!"

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" roared the doc. "I am telling you: the panic attacks will not stop until you come out! If you refuse my therapy, I am forced to kick you in the balls!" which the doc did.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" shouted Lee in agony as the doc called in the janitor, JACK, to throw him out.

"I'll get you yet, Evil Shrink!" shouted Lee as the JACK hauled him into the dumpster.

Meanwhile in the waiting room, Xiaoyu was all alone when Heihachi came in.

"Hello little girl. Where is your mommy?" he asked with a sweet voice.

"Me wikes to pway with Panda." said Xiao in a retarded way.

"Tell me, are you alone." said Heihachi.

"Grandpa got bite by puppies, me awone." said Xiao cheerfully, reffering to the crabs.

"Well, if you come with me, I will give you candy." invited Heihachi.

"Me wike candy." cheered Xiao as she took Heihachi's hand.

"What a cute nose you have. Let me show you the real nose." said Heihachi in his sweet way, and they left.


AN: Am I evil or what? Anywhoo, this chapter is not homophobic.