Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine.
"Bella honey, don't be stupid." Jacob pleaded with me for umpteenth time already. "You don't have to leave." I sighed and rubbed my temples. Was it possible for a vampire to get a headache?
"Jacob, I can't be here anymore. I have to find her." I wouldn't speak her name, but Jacob and the rest of the wolves knew exactly who I was talking about. Victoria. It was surprising actually, not only did the pack avoid ripping me to shreds and burning the demonic pieces, but they also seemed to accept—in the loosest term possible—me. Let's put it this way, they could stand to be in the same room as me, but that was as far as the cordiality went. Save for Jacob, he was right beside me the entire time, shirking his own duties as the beta to be with me. He even went as far as sleep deprivation to make sure I didn't run off in the middle of the night while he was resting.
He had even touched me a few times—flinching as he did so—by holding my hand or a quick hug. The pungent smell radiating off of him wasn't as strong either, Id grown accustomed to it. Now, I was actually enjoying the warm sensation that his touch brought, it was the only thing I enjoyed lately.
In truth, tracking Victoria was only half the reason that I wanted to leave. I had hurt everyone around me in one way or another. It was sickening that I had the power to hurt so many without even trying. With a twisted grimace, I briefly wondered if that was my power as a vampire. While others got to read minds or see the future, I put people through the worst kind of emotional pain imaginable. How fitting. I really was a monster. And not the kind that just sucks the blood out of people, I drained their life force. With a snort of disgust I turned away from Jacob, not wanting him to see the pain and horror on my face.
"Bells..."
"No, Jacob. I'm leaving."
"Do you really want to run away from everything you know? To be alone, is that what you want?" He demanded, his voice steadily growing in volume.
"That's exactly what I want." I hissed. "What's here for me Jacob? Charlie's empty old house? A group of teenage werewolves that don't want to be around me?"
"I'm here." He whispered as his unnaturally warm hand found its way to may back. My anger started to melt immediately.
"I see how much my being a vampire hurts you, Jacob. I can't...do it anymore. I can't hurt you any more then I already have."
"Oh come on Bells, give me some credit. I'm stronger then you think."
I decided to change tactics, since obviously the truth was out.
"I don't have a home."
"I can be your home." He said roughly turning me around to face him, a scorching look in his eyes. I stifled a sigh.
"God, you're persistent."
"God, you're stubborn."
An uneasy silence passed between the two of us. We stood there, his hot hand still on my arm, our gazes locked in an unmoving battle of wills.
"Fine." I said, clenching my jaw. "I'll wait till you fall asleep." I narrowed my eyes and yanked my arm out of his iron grasp. His lips pursed together, trying to form some rebuttal. I knew running was out of the option, his lengthy strides could surpass mine any day.
"I wont sleep."
"Ha! How long will that last?"
"Ill get the other pack members to watch you."
"Yeah, that'll go over well. 'Hey guys, would you mind babysitting my vampire best friend while I take a nap?'" I rolled my eyes.
"I won't sleep." He repeated more firmly.
"That's stupid." I rebutted.
"You're stupid."
I sighed. "Am not."
"Are too."
An unexpected growl pressed through my lips. Stupid, pig headed Werewolf! Who was he to tell me what to do? No. Absolutely not. I was leaving, that was for sure, and he wasn't about to stop me.
Why was he fighting me so hard on this? Did the concept "mortal enemies" mean anything to him?
The answer was simple: he loved me. I knew that.
God, I was so stupid. He was scared. He didn't want me to leave—obviously—but not because he was afraid I would go off the deep end and hurt someone, he was scared that he would never see me again. He was right though, if I left, I would never come back. All right. Fine, I would lie. One last lie, and he would be free of me and my wretchedness.
Time to test my acting skills. It had to be convincing. It had to.
"Jacob..." I said, placing a frigid hand on his cheek. "I have to find her. I have to...end this. Who knows how many more she will kill?..."
"We can do that, we can find her." He said, slipping into the pack plural.
"No, Jacob. You have too many responsibilities here. You know that. I can track her, my senses are stronger then yours. I have to kill the bloodsucker." I said with a small, fake grin.
"Bells..."
"For Charlie." I pressed. "I have to finish this." The hardness, and his mask like face dissolved at the name, giving me a glimpse of the younger Jacob I knew and loved. "Ill be back as soon as I can." I said in a tone that sounded convincing to me; I hoped he believed it.
"How soon will you be back?"
"You won't even know I was gone."
"I doubt that." He crushed me to his blazing chest, and kissed my head. "I'll miss you." His voice was dripping with pain. He knew I wasn't coming back. I'd always been a lousy liar.
"Miss you more." I said, feeling that if I could produce them, I would have tears in my eyes. I held onto him realizing this would be the last time I would ever see him. It hit me like I'd been kicked in the stomach. This would be the last time I would hurt him. I promised myself that. I tried to pull away but he held me tighter to his chest. And with speed that surprised even me his hand was under my chin, roughly forcing me to look at him. If I wasn't a vampire, it might have hurt slightly. My brow was furrowed in confusion, what was he doing?
And then I saw it. The blazing determination in his eyes. Before I could protest, his mouth had crushed to mine, his broad, warm lips covering every inch of my cold, thin ones. I grabbed fistfuls of his hair, trying to pull his lips off mine without hurting him. He ignored this, and wrapped one long arm around my waist pressing me closer to him.
And then something inside me broke.
Letting out a strangled sob, I pulled him closer to me, images in my head started streaming in. Jacob and I together on a beach, him laughing and I, sparkling in the sun. The two of us in his garage, his head buried under the hood of his ancient Volkswagen, me smiling mischievously as I honked the horn. I could see Emily's kitchen and Billy's tiny living room, all full of laughing people. The vampire girl and the wolf girl cooking together, my nose crinkled in distaste. I saw it now, clearly for the first time ever. Jacob didn't care if I was human or a vampire, or if I had turned neon green and sprouted a few arms out of my head sometime soon. He loved me, and nothing would change that. He loved me as desperately as I had loved another.
My resolve melted, and I let myself feel everything that I had been suppressing for too long. My grip on his hair became more urgent now, in a different way. He let out a wild gasp of surprise as I started to kiss him back. I parted my lips and allowed him access to my mouth. He shivered, whether it was from excitement or my icy touch I didn't know, yet he didn't pull away. His tongue traced my bottom lip slowly before forcefully making its way into my mouth. I didn't protest as he explored me in new ways. Our lips moved rhythmically against one another, there was no hesitance or fear in the way we touched one another, only a longing and sadness that was indescribable.
His mouth was different from what I was used to, it was soft and warm and molded to mine. Not the other way around. My other arm snaked its way around his neck and I pressed myself against him, putting everything I had inside of the kiss, every emotion, every once of love I possessed for him in my body was now being expelled in this moment of passion. Soon, too soon he pulled away needing air. Pressing his forehead to mine, I could hear his ragged breathing reflecting my own. We stood there in silence for a moment just listening to each others breathing. He slowly and gently pressed his lips to mine once, twice...three times.
"I love you, Jacob." I finally admitted.
"I love you more." He said, his voice flecked with every ounce of pain I felt.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"Goodbye, Jacob." I said pulling away from him, my voice cracking. I saw his jaw set, and I took a few steps back, out of his reach. His left arm came up, hovering there in the empty space between us reaching out to me in one last attempt to stop me.
Despite his body's protests, he whispered "goodbye, Bella."
I turned my back and ran into the forest at full speed, leaving everything miles behind me. The trees flew past in a blur, and I let myself become overwhelmed with the agony. It was better this way, it was the only way I could protect him from myself. The ragged hole flared achingly in my chest.
Somewhere behind me, in the depths of the forest, a lone wolf howled.
Edward's P.O.V.
I wasn't paying attention to the random objects that I was stuffing hastily into the duffel. Honestly I didn't even know if it was a duffel, it was just something that Alice had thrown at me when I decided to leave for Forks.
"You need to hurry, Edward. Something's changed...I don't know what yet. But it's serious." Alice said, her stony brow furrowing in concentration and irritation. It had taken her only seconds to notify the family of what was happening. And the reactions were to be as expected. Only Rosalie failed to be surprised and happy.
My only response was a nod as I continued to pack my belongings in double time. Bella needed me, and I would be damned—no pun intended—if any harm was to come to her. I had seen the emotionless, vacant expression on her face in Alice's vision, and it nearly tore me apart. I knew that look only too well. I saw it whenever I passed a mirror, or something reflective. The past few months, or years, or however long it had been disintegrated immediately and my new obsession was finding Bella. Saving Bella. Ok, so maybe it wasn't my newest obsession. I always seemed to be saving her from something or other, but I never minded. It made me feel validated, as if I actually deserved to be with her.
But an angel should never be with something as hideous as me.
In Alice's vision however...Bella was no longer...human. I forced myself to think. She was one of us now, or would be soon.
Two plans were forming in my head as I bustled around the house trying to get myself together. Either one, she was human, and I would do everything within my power to keep it that way, or two, she was no longer living and I would convince her to come home. Maybe I would stay with her, it didn't matter, as long as we were together, I would be home.
"Here, take the BMW. It's faster, full tank too." Carlisle said, breaking me out of my reverie. I owed him so much, I hadn't been the best son for the past few months, and yet he forgave me for everything, and didn't think twice about helping me. I would be in his debt for all eternity.
"Thank you Carlisle. Thank you for everything."
He pulled me into a hug and said "bring her home, son."
"I will." I said, nodding.
The rest of my goodbyes were hasty, I didn't even realize who I was hugging, my only focus was getting to the car and finding Bella. That was until a very tiny hand slapped my forehead.
"Hello? Anyone home?" An irritated voice said below me.
I sighed. "Yes, Alice?"
"Finally." She mumbled. "Look, Bella's not going to be...easily convinced." She said her brow furrowing. "It's going to be fairly difficult to get her to come back home." She said rolling her eyes. "Just don't give up ok?" She added with hopeful eyes. That wasn't possible, I would never give up on Bella, never.
"All right, Alice. Call me if you see anything new."
"Will do."
I nodded and made my way to the car, turning one last time to see my family file out of the door, all with nervous looks on their faces. I remembered my promise to Carlisle.
"I will bring her back." I said. "I promise." They were far away, and I was speaking only in a whisper, but I knew they could hear. I got in and shut the door, throwing my bag onto the passenger seat. With a rev of the engine and the sound of screeching tires, I peeled out of the driveway and made my way towards the entire point of my existence.
...
A/N: First off, I'm getting crabby because my stupid horizontal ruler hates me.
Ok. Wow. This story is officially making me sad. The part with Bella and Jacob saying goodbye...that was rough for me to write. I love his character—except when he's like 'kiss me or I'm offing myself,' grr—and I hate to say goodbye, but, it had to be done for the sake of the story.
Oh, Edward isn't gonna win her over just yet. I couldn't make it that simple, could I? Well, I could, but I like torturing them. It's cathartic. Ah, I'm sadistic aren't I? Hmm. Oh well.
So, hey I'm making a playlist for this. It should up on my profile soon. But seriously, I have to give Meyer mucho cool points for doing a playlist. It's a lot harder then you'd think it would be. Most of the time it ends up with me banging my head against the desk and wondering why I wanted to do this in the first place.
Oh that's right, because it's awesome.
Wow. Long author's note. Is anyone out there still reading? Or are you guys taking a nappy-poo? Hah.
Oh and every time you don't review, Edward Cullen loses a hair. Think of the hair!
Adieu.
