Note: Listen to the song "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum for the best effect in this chapter.
Chapter 3
They got a few more leagues that day before Elladan made a camp for the night. As the sky darkened he found a small clearing and deemed it suitable. He lay down some blankets to make a bed of sorts and carefully untied the knots he had put in the ropes around Elrohir so carefully that afternoon, taking him and lying him on his stomach on the bed. He sat next to his brother and unwrapped the bandages. Now that he had more time and he didn't need to cover ground, he pulled some herbs from his pack and sat down to make a paste for the wounds.
Looking at Elrohir's pale face, he couldn't help but wish that his twin was in his own bed, swathed in the white sheets and blankets that made him look small again.
And, of course, the thought of Elrohir's room brought back bad memories.
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore
It was a rare thing for Elladan Elrondion to get drunk, but it did happen. When it did, the instances were often decades apart.
So to see the eldest son of Elrond—everyone knew it was him, because his brother was no longer in their halls and the thought of him made them all grieve to their very cores—wandering through the halls of his father's home completely drunk was certainly a sight to see.
Elladan was not a merry drunk, like his brother was. Where Elrohir was usually serious and became jolly, Elladan, who was usually optimistic turned utterly grim. When the twins became drunk, they'd usually stay together, wandering up the stairs in a hushed manner, slipping into one of their rooms and sleeping together in one bed like they were elflings still.
Drunk Elladan did not seem to realize that his twin was gone as he called for his twin loudly through the hallways.
"Elrohir!" he yelled, and the eyes of some guards standing nearby on their night shifts saddened. "Elrohir, where are you?"
With slightly unsteady steps, he sauntered up to the door and wrestled with the doorknob for a moment. The guards looked on warily as they saw that it was not the door to Elladan's own room but to the one directly to the right.
It was not until he arrived in his brother's empty room that the truth hit Elladan in the chest like a dagger through his heart. Elrohir was not here. The bed was made neatly, as it always was, but he was not here.
He may never be here again.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
Valar knew how often Elladan thought of his twin. Every minute of every hour of every day there was nothing on his mind but his guilt and his twin's possible suffering. It was always Elrohir, every minute.
But who knew how often Elrohir thought of him? If he was being hurt or he was in danger, what time would that leave for him to think of his gwador?
Elladan didn't know how he ended up standing in the middle of Elrohir's room, the door shut behind him, holding him there. He hadn't been in here since Elrohir's disappearance, afraid of the pain it would cause.
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
The small things that marked this room as Elrohir Elrondion's were painfully obvious. The neatness, the folded clothes on the chair, waiting for the next day when they would be worn. The same set of clothes had been sitting there for a year now.
When Elladan and Elrohir were elflings, they had toys that they would never let out of their sight. Elladan's was a wolf slightly larger than his hand, and Elrohir's was a rabbit that was as big as his forearm. The ears and neck were drooped, and the small beady eyes were slightly chipped from frequently hitting the floor. Though Elladan had long ago grown out of his, Elrohir hid the bunny, named Nari, in his closet and got it before he went to sleep every night.
Elladan looked at Nari now, with her lolling head, hidden between the piles of blankets in the closet, and walked over to her, picking her up and cradling her in his right hand. He moved one floppy ear from her face and felt a sob climb up his throat.
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
He buried his face in Nari, muffling the sound of his crying. As he breathed in deeply, and the scent of his brother filled him, which was comforting for a second before it, too, turned to pain.
He felt his knees hit the floor, and he was curled in on himself, regretting having ever entered this empty room.
The balcony. Ai, Valar, there was still a lonely book on the balcony, one he remembered Elrohir having talked about. He had been excited about that book, and the bookmark still sat in a page about three quarters of the way through. The pages were crinkled and water stained from the numerous times it had rained in the past year, and some of the words were smudged, as he could see from the center of the room with his elven sight.
The tears began to run down his cheeks.
Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before
What he would give to have Elrohir walk in through the door that connected their two rooms, laughing at how they had completely missed each other by going into the each other's bedrooms.
But he wasn't going to.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
It was so dark outside, but Elladan could see everything as if it were glowing. There was no light, and the bare torches hadn't had any fire in many years.
He didn't know how long he was there, in the middle of the floor crying with Nari in his arms, but eventually the door slid open. He didn't look up.
"Elladan."
Soft footsteps behind him. A hand on his shoulder.
"Elladan, you need to stop this."
Long dark hair brushing the base of his neck.
"You need to move on."
Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all
"How dare you?" Elladan yelled, whirling around to face his father. "How dare you even suggest such a thing?"
"Elladan, it's been over a year," Elrond said, his face expressionless. "The likelihood of him coming back was low enough at the start."
"Ada…" Elladan breathed, his eyes full of shock and hurt. "What if it was Elros? Would you go after him to infinity then?"
Elrond sighed, but it seemed to be more in exasperation than sadness.
"This isn't Elros. Elros is dead. This is Elrohir. He was my son and I loved him, but he is lost to me. There is nothing I can do."
Before he even knew what was happening, Elladan was standing face to face with his father, and he felt a sharp sting on his fist and his father's head snapped back. His hand curled around his father's tunic.
"That was for Elrohir! I will not accept that he is dead until I am holding his body in my arms!" Elladan yelled, spittle flying from his mouth and onto Elrond's cheeks.
He released his father and fell to his knees again, clutching Nari.
"Elladan—"
"GET OUT!" Elladan screamed, and Elrond started at the sound. "Get out of my sight! You…I can't believe you…just get out!"
He heard the door opened and shut again, and he was all alone once more.
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all…
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Oh baby, I need you now
Elladan blinked back to awareness as Elrohir stirred slightly, and he let a small smile come to his face. His Elrohir was here, safe.
Suddenly eager to get re-binding the wounds over with, he took the paste, now finished, and put it on the lashes, watching as a little bit of tension eased out of Elrohir's shoulders. He put bandages on the wounds and did the same for all of the front of Elrohir, so once again he was covered in white.
After eating a small meal of the leftover rabbit from earlier and giving Elrohir some water, he lay down beside his brother, watching as his chest rose and fell and feeling the warm air coming from his parted lips with each breath. The closed eyes were slightly worrying, but it was to be expected after so long without any real sleep.
Elladan wrapped his arms around his twin and lay there, and soon his eyes were glazed over in sleep.
His sleep was so deep he didn't see the signs that his twin was having a nightmare until it was too late.
A/N: I do not own "Need you Now".
Anyway, longest chapter yet! Tell me what you think!
Please review!
