Hello again and thank you if you are still with this story so far. I am actually love this story and am glad there are others who like it as well.
I know that this story has some touchy subjects and even me who came up with the idea is finding it hard to write this so be warned some parts may be touchy to some.
As i have said there is an outcome for this story and for the good of the story i can't answer any questions as to if JJ dies or not because i do not want the story ruined for some..
Thank you again and don't forget to review. x
...
The team spent another few minutes watching as there friend comforted the distraught blonde. They didn't want to go in asking questions so left the situation up to their boss, knowing if it was a matter of life and death he would tell them. That's all they could do now, trust each other and have faith, they couldn't afford to argue anymore with JJ in such a bad place.
They all nodded to each other and walked towards the room. Hotch heard the approach of footsteps and looked up to see the team in the door way smiling at them. He nudged JJ and she looked up wiping the tears from her eyes.
"One large coffee with 3 sugars just the way you like it baby girl" Morgan handed her a large polystyrene cup which she took gratefully. Everyone took their designed seats and sat in silence, all enjoying their coffee and the treasured moments of being together. JJ looked around and smiled to her team. She knew no matter what they would stick by her. She also saw the questions in their eyes and knew that this would come with them knowing and so she let it out.
"Well go on" Everyone looked to her confused and she laughed.
"I know that some of you have questions and I don't want to keep you in the dark anymore so ask away" She set the coffee on the table beside the bed and sat ready for all the questions. Everyone sat there awkwardly looking towards each other not knowing what to say.
"Oh come on guys. I may only be the media liaison but I have been around you all long enough to pick up some tricks. I can see you all want to ask me something so ask, I don't mind, I was expecting this anyways" She looked around them and sighed when nobody spoke up.
"Fine then, Morgan, go first" He looked around hoping for help but everyone looked away so he sighed.
"I was err... Do you have a bucket list for before...? Well..." He looked down ashamed and looked up shocked at JJ's answer.
"Yes. I have already crossed a few things of it actually" She smiled at his reaction.
"It's in my bag so when one of my amazing friends goes to get it, I can show you" She winked at Hotch making him groan.
"Fine, I will be back in about 30 minutes. How about I bring some Starbucks famous bacon sandwiches for us?" He saw the eyes of his team members light up and shook his head leaving the room.
"So what have you crossed of so far?" Morgan asked.
"Well when I first found out remember I took those 2 week off just about a year ago...?" She continued when everyone nodded.
"I went to Australia, which was one thing I have always wanted to do, and I did it" She smiled thinking back to her trip. Most nights she spent crying, but in the day she had forgot about everything and enjoyed the trip and wouldn't change it for anything.
"You went to Australia. That's amazing" Morgan expressed, trying but failing to do an Australian accent making everyone laugh.
"What else?" Penelope asked curious to what her friend has been up to.
"I spent a weekend we didn't have any work in Hollywood going around the stars"
"Sound's fun. So what haven't you checked off?" Rossi asked curious, though everyone knew why he was asking, JJ hadn't really caught on.
"Well I would love to spend a day in Miami on the beach, a trip to London would be amazing and..." She stopped knowing the last one was pathetic and she didn't really want anyone knowing about it anyway.
"And..." Rossi pressed. She shook her head laughing.
"The last one I pathetic, never going to happen, well at least not now anyway" She smiled sadly knowing this last one was her life fulfilment but because of her state, it couldn't possibly happen.
Rossi nodded and stood up.
"I am running to the toilet. No more stories until I get back" He winked and left the room. When he knew he was out of site he pulled out his phone dialling Hotch's number.
"Hello, this is agent Hotchner" Rossi shook his head knowing his friend never looked at the caller ID.
"Aaron its Dave"
"Dave, what's wrong? Is it JJ? Is she OK?"
"Aaron she is fine. Have you got her bag yet?"
"Just picked it up, why?"
"Find her bucket list and see what the first thing on the list is, or the last thing. It will probably be highlighted in some way" He heard rummaging for a moment before he heard a sigh.
"I have it. It's so JJ" He laughed.
"What is it? I am going to do everything I can to help her complete her bucket list"
"I think I can deal with this one. I just have to make a few calls but it will be sorted. You better tell the team to buy some nice clothes, we are going to an FBI event" Then Rossi knew. It was so JJ and he respected the woman for wanting to go far in her life. He felt a pain in his heart knowing that she was so young and losing her life at such a young age. He thought that while they all waited for Aaron to get back they could all do with a coffee. He messaged Morgan telling him he was going to get some more drinks and went down to the café to order them. Half an hour later he walked back into the room to see JJ fast asleep in Morgan's arms. She looked like she had been crying and his query was answered when he saw the tear stains on Penelope and Emily's face and noticed Reid was standing in the corner of the room, looking as if he would break down any minute. He placed the drinks on the table and walked towards Penelope.
"What happened?" He asked sitting down next to her. She looked sadly to him before telling him what had happened.
"The err... The doctor came in before and said that they did a few more scans and she may be able to last a few more weeks than what they first thought so she may have even 3 months instead of the original 2" Penelope started feeling more tears fill her eyes.
"That's good isn't it?" Rossi asked confused to why everyone seemed so upset over some good news in the entire ordeal.
"That's what we thought, until JJ started crying and said that she didn't want more time. She has really given up fighting Rossi and she just wants it over with. She said that the longer she has the worse it feels" Emily finished looking sadly to her friend.
"She has given up hasn't she" Rossi said sadly looking to the blonde feeling his eyes water. He tried to fight them back wanting to be strong for the team.
"Our baby girl just doesn't want to fight anymore" Morgan said holding on to the blonde tighter knowing that in a few week's he won't be able to do this anymore. Rossi thought now would be a good time to bring up some ideas he had up his sleeve and wanted to lighten the mood a bit knowing it was just what they needed.
"Morgan, Reid, do you two own a tux?" Rossi asked. The two looked to him confused before both nodding.
"Penelope, Emily. I need the both of you, when JJ wakes up in the morning to grab a laptop and go dress shopping, with my credit card so the price doesn't matter. We are all going to an FBI event" Everyone sat confused for a moment before Morgan clicked on.
"The last thing on her bucket list was..." Rossi just nodded and a huge grin appeared on Morgan's face. Sooner or later the rest caught on and they were all talking about the night in 2 weeks. Only Rossi had ever been to one and they were all very excited. After another hour Hotch returned with food, waking JJ up knowing she needed something to eat. The team spent till 11pm talking about past memories and not bringing anything up that would upset JJ in anyway.
"Right, I think you all need to get home for some sleep. I will stay here and watch JJ" Hotch said as the team started to doze off in their chairs. Nobody bothered to argue knowing they all needed a good night's sleep after the day's events. Once Morgan had finally left, Hotch thought best to wake JJ up knowing they needed to talk about a lot of stuff.
"JJ" Hotch went to shake her lightly but there was no need, she was already awake.
"No need Hotch. I wasn't going to sleep until I knew who I would be waking up to" She opened her eyes and sat up so her and Hotch could talk properly.
"Look JJ, I know a lot has happened today but can we talk… It will be better for you if you get it out of the way" JJ just nodded knowing he was right.
"Hotch, the doctors say that even after everything that I may have a few more weeks added on. Everyone was so happy but I don't want more time, I just want the fight to be over"
"JJ, why are you giving up so easily? You could have prevented it all but you chose to give up. I am not judging you and never will, I just want to know why"
"My sister, she had every opportunity to fight and she gave up. People would say that it would make you want to fight more because you don't want to turn out like her and if this would have happened a few years ago I would have but…" She felt herself chock on a sob and looked away trying to keep herself together.
"But what JJ?"
"I told you my mom died in a car accident. I lied. She had breast cancer and she took the chemo and she fought and fought but you know what? She went through almost 2 years of chemotherapy and then the doctors told her it was no use and she died a few weeks after. She wasted so much time fighting and it was all for nothing. I didn't want to get my hopes up just to be let down like she had. The more time I have, the more false hope I have that I might actually make it through. It's like 1 in every 1000 that without chemo I can still make it and yeah, I have that one possibility but what if it comes back and I have to go through all this again. It's not worth it Hotch and I know it may seem selfish but I can't do it. I know I have you all keeping me going but sometimes all the support you can get still isn't enough" She buried her head into the pillow and cried, not caring anymore. She just wanted the fight to be over. She wanted all of this to go away. She just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.
"JJ look at me" She lifted her head and looked at him, feeling horrible as she saw the tears in his eyes.
"No matter what, you are not selfish. Your life has been a rollercoaster and if you don't want to fight anymore, you don't need to. We are not going to hate you for giving up, because this fight is the hardest one that anyone has to go through and you have done most of it by yourself. Do you know how strong that makes you JJ? You are so strong and when everyone sees your picture on that wall they will look up to you as the strongest FBI agent ever known to the BAU. They will see your picture and think 'wow, see that woman there, she is the strongest woman ever you know. She fought this job for almost 12 years and fought her own battles along with it. Nobody I know can do that, except for her'. And that JJ, is the god damn truth because you are so strong and I am so proud to call you my agent, and even prouder to call you my friend. It has been an honour knowing you for the 20 years that I have and no matter what, you will always be my best and strongest friend" Hotch embraced his friend in a hug, silently crying as she sobbed into his shoulder. He knew that no matter what JJ wouldn't consider fighting now so he just had to be there for her.
"Hotch, how should I… How should I..." JJ couldn't get it out but Hotch knew what she wanted to say.
"I will call the doctor in and we will talk it out with her OK"JJ nodded and watched as he left the room only to come back a few minutes later with her doctor.
"Jennifer, are you ready to make the decision" She nodded and the doctor took a seat on the chair closets to her. Hotch sat next to her on the bed and held her hand, knowing she would need all the help she could get in making this decision. JJ looked to the man next to her and smiled, happy that if she could have one friend with her making this decision, she was glad she had him. After 3 long hours and a lot of tears, JJ had come to the conclusion of what she was going to do, and Hotch was standing by her decision completely. She wanted something where she wouldn't have to leave the comfort of her home and wanted it to be quick. It was 2am and all JJ wanted to do was sleep. Hotch could see JJ's eyes drooping and lowered her bed. She took one last look before closing her eyes and falling asleep. Hotch took a seat on a couch which was small, but fairly comfortable and fell asleep, ready to face any new challenges in the 2 months JJ had left. The team had until July 22nd to get JJ to a stage in her life that she would leave happy.
At 10am Hotch was woken by someone calling his name. At first he had no idea who it was and panicked thinking JJ was in trouble. He tried to swing his legs over the side of the couch but they were tangled up in something. He struggled and ended up falling off the couch sending JJ into hysterics.
"Hotch, it's just a blanket. Calm down" JJ said through laughs. He sat up looking to his legs and blushed seeing he had gotten tangled up in a hospital blanket a nurse must have put over him in the night.
"You idiot" JJ giggled climbing out of bed. She knelt down and un wrapped his legs from the blanket standing him up.
"Sorry about that" He said trying to act all cool as he shook of the fluff from his pants. JJ just shook her head and sat back down.
"What time is it" JJ asked. Hotch looked down to his watch and answered,
"10 o'clock" JJ's eyes widened.
"Hotch, you're going to be late for work. The team! Where are they? Are they late as well?"
"JJ its fine. Work is all sorted. We have as long as we need off and Strauss is directing all the cases down to other units"
"Hotch..." Before JJ could argue Penelope came strolling in with Emily, holding her bedazzled pink laptop.
"If you wouldn't mind Hotch, we have some business to intend to" Penelope winked making Hotch smile and JJ frown.
"What business"
"Dress shopping, with Rossi's credit card. This is going to be fun" Penelope took a seat on the side of JJ while Emily climbed in front.
"Well then, since I have been kicked out I will go and see how Rossi is doing with his business" Hotch winked back making Penelope giggled.
"Will someone tell me what all this bloody business is" JJ moaned but Hotch just smiled and walked away leaving the girls to shop.
"Rossi has some surprises up his sleeve and one of them requires us to find a snazzy dresses and new shoes" Penelope stated typing away at the keyboard.
"Penelope, Rossi said nothing about shoes" Emily said making Penelope grin evilly.
"Rossi gave us the card, he can regret the decision after we have ordered all the necessary items" Emily just laughed and sat so she was in view of the computer screen.
"Right JJ, let's find you a gorgeous dress so you and your date will look like the sexiest couple in town" JJ's head shot up at the mention of 'date'
"Penelope, who the hell is my date?"
"Oh don't worry, Hotch is. Morgan is taking me, Reid is taking Emily and Rossi is taking his lovably soon to be wife" Penelope stated. JJ looked confused as to why Rossi was taking Strauss.
"Why is Rossi taking Strauss? Where the hell are we going?"
"All in good time my friend, you will find out in good time" Penelope grinned and the girls started dress shopping. After a good 5 hours they all had new dresses, with matching shoes, bags and jewellery.
"Well Rossi is going to hate us" Emily stated as the 3 sat cuddle up on JJ's bed watching sleepless in Seattle.
"Yup. Did he give you a budget? Because if he did I think we went over it" JJ said while eating a piece of popcorn.
"Well he said go wild, so we did" Penelope said trying to get of the subject.
"Penelope, Rossi would never say that. What was the budget" JJ asked. Penelope looked down guilty and said,
"$4000" JJ's eyes widened.
"Penelope we went $1400 over what he said! He will kill us" JJ exclaimed. Emily looked to JJ witch a raised eye brow.
"Yeah but JJ, it's not like Rossi has absolutely no money at all. He isn't going to miss a little 1400 now is he" Emily said. JJ nodded then looked to Penelope who was smiling innocently. She just laughed and put her attention back on the film.
As if on cue after the film finished the men walked in all with huge grins on their faces.
"Rossi won't be smiling like that once he realises how much money we spent" Emily whispered to JJ making her smirk.
"So ladies, how was the shop?" Rossi asked. JJ and Emily looked to Penelope who just smiled innocently making Rossi frown.
"You and me will talk later" Rossi said to Penelope making her cringe. The others laughed at her while JJ and Emily where in hysterics.
"Don't you two think you're getting out of it either" Rossi said to them which made them stop laughing immediately. He just grinned before looking to Aaron who was carrying a big bag.
"So what's in the bag?" JJ asked. Everyone smiled to her and she frowned wondering what they were planning.
"We have a few presents" He said putting the bag on JJ's bed. She looked round confused before landing her eyes on the bag. She looked to it scared to see what was inside making Emily laugh.
"JJ it's presents, not a bomb. Just open it" She nudged her friend and JJ reached forward pulling out firstly a silver envelope out of the bag. She saw from Pen and Em x written on the front and looked to her two best friends who were both smiling up to her. She opened the envelope and pulled out 3 plane tickets dated for in 2 days. When she saw the location she felt tears fill her eyes and embraced her best friends in a hug.
"Thank you so much" She whispered burying her head in their necks.
"Well sweetie I guess were taking you to London" Penelope grinned trying on her best British accent. JJ smiled looking to them both mouthing thank you again. They both nodded before Emily pointed back to the bag. The next thing she pulled out was a small gift bag. Inside was a bikini with the US flag patterned onto it. She read the label which read from Derek, Miami baby. She grinned up to Morgan who jingled his pocket which had his car keys in.
"When you get back from your 5 day trip to London you and I are taking a trip to Miami. Just you, me, the car and a whole lot of sunshine. 3 days in paradise" He smiled and stepped forward when JJ held her arms open. She hugged him trying not to soak his top with her tears.
The next item in her bag was another envelope which read from Spence. She was glad to see his hand writing and not someone else because then she knew that he wasn't being forced into it and he was really wanting to go. She opened it and pulled out 2 tickets to a baseball game which would be the day after her trip to Miami. She didn't bother waiting and jumped out of bed running towards him. She looked him in the eye, wiping the tears from his cheeks away with her thumb.
"Thank you Spence" She said into his ear as she hugged him and he replied,
"Anything for my first date" She smiled and allowed him to sit her back in bed so she could continue looking through the presents. The next was a wrapped present but she could tell it was a book. The label on the front read from Rossi, yum yum. She realised what it was and opened it to find a cook book and another envelope. The envelope held the booking reference for a cabin which is booked for the night after the baseball game.
"You, me and a huge kitchen. You will be getting a 3 piece course cooked by yours truly" He said smiling down to the woman he thought of as a daughter. She hugged him and said thank you. There were two things left in the bag but there was only one person left so she supposed they were both from him. She looked to him and he nodded smiling. She pulled out a small navy coloured box first and opened it. Inside was a golden locket and she felt the first tears fall as she opened the locket. Inside the locket was a picture of all the team out together. She was about to put the locket on put stopped when she hear Hotch's voice.
"Look at the back" She turned the locket over and laughed as a sob escaped her lips. On the back it said our beautiful JJ, in our hearts forever and always. Hotch came over and lifted her hair up as she put the locket on, holding it to her chest as she looked to him.
"Thank you"
"One more second. There is still an envelope in there" He pointed to the bag and stood up watching as pulled out a purple envelope. Of course it said on the front from Aaron so she opened it revealing 7 tickets to an FBI event in two weeks. She frowned and looked up confused.
"Rossi is receiving an award for being with the BAU since the beginning and we have all been invited" Hotch stated.
"Is that what the shopping was for before" She looked to Penelope and Emily who nodded. She looked to Rossi with proud eyes.
"You deserve it you know" She said. He just nodded not wanting to say anything in case he gave away the surprise. Everyone knew and had to keep it from her until the event and it was going to kill them but it was worth it.
"You are getting released in an hour so we are going to take you home and get packing for London" Penelope said standing from her chair.
"Can't wait" JJ giggled really looking forward to 5 days with her girls.
"Neither can we. Right coffee and donuts for all" Penelope exclaimed exiting the room followed by Emily, Derek, Reid then Hotch. Rossi stayed behind and sat on the edge of the bed looking to JJ.
"Thank you, for everything" She said feeling another tear fall.
"Please tell me they are happy tears" He asked wiping a stray one from her cheek.
"Yeah... No... Kind of. I am really happy that I get to do everything in my list and even better with all of you it's just… It's coming so fast now and I'm just getting more and more scared"
"Well until the day comes, all you have to think about is what you're going to wear every day in London, how you are going to control the player on Miami beach full of hot woman, how you are going to explain the baseball game to Reid, and how to get over a very drunken night after the FBI event" He smiled trying to keep the blondes mind of the following two months.
"Yeah, he is going to be a handful on that beach, and Reid is actually not that bad on baseball. Oh god, the hangover" JJ put a pillow over her head laughing along with Rossi. Suddenly her head snapped up with a very shocked face painted on.
"What's wrong?" Rossi asked concerned.
"How am I going to control Penelope and Emily alone for 5 days in London" She laughed making Rossi laugh.
"As long as they don't get lost, you should be fine" He joked laughing along with the blonde. Moments like this he would never forget, even in JJ's condition, they can still make memories for after her time is up. Memories which are unforgettable.
