"Matt?"Mello begged "Please????"
Matt wasn't having it this time. This had gone far enough. He couldn't help but feel used when Mello asked him to help him out every few nights. And helpless, masochistic, he had obliged all those times. But no more. He couldn't take it any longer. This was only the fourth or fifth time but every time it felt so wrong. And in all truth, it wasn't because he begrudged Mello the pleasure. It was because he couldn't accept that he was doing this with Mello as no more than his friend. He wanted to mean something to Mello, not just a hand. And it never seemed Mello cared. He would lie in dread every time, yet somehow he gave in eventually. Well, not tonight.
"Sorry Mels, I'm really tired" Matt lied.
"Bullshit, Matty."
"Mello, I just can't, I'm sorry."
Mello gave a deliberately audible sigh. "Fine." He turned away from Matt. But Mello wasn't one to respond to rejection easily.
"Why are you so mean to me lately, Matt?"
There it was. Matt turned back and they were facing each other angrily.
"You're the one who starts the damn arguments!" Matt fumed
"I NEVER start them!" yelled Mello defiantly "Last week you stole my chocolate!
"You hid my cigarettes first!"
"Yeah… but…"
"And there was the time you wanted groceries and I was in the middle of a boss fight so you decided to throw my DS against the wall!"
"You deserved it! You weren't listening to me!"
"If you'd given me FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!"
"FUCK YOU MATTY DON'T YELL AT ME! WHAT SORT OF FRIEND ARE YOU?"
"FRIEND? I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT LOOK AFTER YOU, I COULD KICK YOU OUT AT ANY TIME BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE…" he swallowed, then murmured "Because I was an idiot."
Mello jumped out of the bed and reached for his gun.
"How about this." He smiled threateningly "I could kill you Matty. I could kill you right now…" He stretched out his arm and Matt's breath froze.
"You…" he breathed, knowing Mello could hear the fear in his voice. "You wouldn't…" He said it hesitantly.
"I… might…" Mello said, each word loaded with poisonous enunciation. "I could take back your cushy little house that my mafia dollars paid for… and no one would even remember you except me."
"Fuck… Mello… don't… just calm down, please" Matt begged.
Mello surveyed the shaking Matt in a look that resembled disgust, and lowered the gun.
"I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight." Mello snarled.
Matt nodded, still frozen with fear.
"And I'll be gone by tomorrow." He turned on his heel and walked briskly out of the bedroom door, slamming it behind him.
Matt heard footsteps down the stairs and let out a breath of relief. A few tears of fear escaped his eyes and he brushed them off. Mello scared him. Mello scared the hell out of him sometimes, and he always wondered if one day he'd snap and do something he would regret. Matt doubted the boy would be leaving, that was for sure. Where else did he have to go?
The boy had threatened him with a gun. Why was Matt still hoping he'd stay? No one confused him like this. He lit a cigarette and got up to open the window, his beating heart calming a little. Maybe he had been a little harsh on Mello. But a hard life wasn't an excuse for waving guns around. And Mello had been acting so strangely lately. These last few weeks had been filled with anger and fear but… still, happiness. It was nice to have someone around for once. Matt finished the cigarette and returned to bed. Hopefully this could all be patched up tomorrow.
He was woken in the early hours of the morning by a loud sound that pierced his sleepiness. Was it a knock at the door? Maybe Mello would get it… oh shit, he had forgotten about their argument. Well, the stubborn Mello was certainly not going to get it after that. Matt pulled on his jeans, not bothering with a shirt, and ran downstairs. He opened the door, but whoever it was had already left. Oh well, if it was important, he'd get a call about it soon. Matt was about to head upstairs again when he noticed a small piece of paper on the fourth step up.
i'Dear Mail'/iit read. His real name? That was strange… it had to be from Mello. He read on. i
'I'm sorry. I have to leave.
Mihael'
/i
Mihael? Mello never…
Matt ran into the living room, but all that was there was a neatly folded blanket and pillow. Shit, he had really gone. Wait, that must have been what the noise was…
Matt ran down the hall and grabbed a coat, hoping he could still catch the boy. What was he doing, leaving like this when he was supposed to be in hiding? Matt grabbed his keys and left, heading in the most plausible direction, the one that led to a train station. He didn't need to run too far. In an alleyway only around the corner from Matt's house, the leather-clad blonde leaned against the wall, taking a deep drag on a cigarette, a chocolate bar in his other hand with only a fraction of the bar left in it. When he had breathed out the smoke, he devoured the remaining confectionary and dropped the wrapper to the floor.
"Mello" Matt breathed.
Mello jumped slightly, and gave Matt a strange look.
"I expected you to still be asleep." He sighed, taking another drag.
Matt watched him, and examined the pack in his hands.
"Mello… are you… smoking?"
"You do it!" Mello muttered defiantly.
"Yeah but… Mello I…"
"Don't worry, you can have your pack back." Mello shoved the silver box back at him.
"Mello… what's…? I don't know what's going on…"
Mello remained silent, clearing his throat a little.
"Mello… do you like… do you hate me or something?"
Mello looked at the ground "I wish."
"What do you mean you wish?" Matt felt like he was fumbling around in the dark. "Just tell me what the fuck is up with you, and I'll listen!"
"I want to hate you Matt…" Mello said very quietly, letting the leftover cigarette fall to the floor. He looked up at Matt, his eyes wet, his face angry, but when Matt looked at him back it weakened again "…but I can't. Because… because I…"
He looked at Matt in desperation, longing to finish the sentence but cut off by fear and anguish.
Matt found himself getting closer to his friend, and just like the day he had arrived, his arms were around the other boy.
"Mello." He said calmly. "Whatever you're worrying about, it's ok. You don't need to hate me because I don't hate you. I really don't."
Mello said nothing for a second, then spoke again.
"I… I do so much stupid shit, Matt."
Matt chuckled a little. "Maybe." He sighed. "Mello?"
"Yes?" came the muffled reply.
Matt paused, then spoke the words cautiously "Mello I… I think I love you."
The blonde boy stiffened a little in Matt's arms, his breath caught by what he had just heard.
"Y-You…"
"And I'm… I'm sorry, Mello."
Mello drew back and looked at Matt, checking his eyes to see if what he was saying was genuine. Matt felt his cheeks burning as he stared at the ground, the shocked expression of the boy in front of him wondering if he had said the right thing. He could take it back, couldn't he? Say he meant it as a friend and… suddenly he felt lips moving towards his own.
They met in a short, intense kiss, before Mello wrapped his arms around Matt and held him close.
"I love you too, Matty."
This time it was Matt who was speechless, staring at the smiling boy in front of him. He smiled back, and Mello's lips reached towards his again. The kiss was soft, but lasted longer this time, gentle, loving… not like Mello, yet, in this cataclysmic moment, so perfect.
"How long… have you felt like this? Since we re-met?"
"I think… I think always, Mels." Matt smiled, finally able to take in the boys features, able to stare as much as he liked into the blue eyes.
Mello smiled back.
"C'mon" said Matt, and they walked back to the house hand-in-hand. A thought crossed Matt's mind. "Mello, is there any chance you ideliberately/i slammed the door that loudly?"
Mello was silent for a few seconds, then spoke. "Shut up Matt." He said through a smile.
