Remus hadn't really thought his friends could be any more solicitous of his 'furry little problem' or of his well-being in general, but James had proven him wrong. As the full moon got closer, James' attentions increased in subtle but significant ways. He didn't hover or nag or make Remus feel like an inconvenient burden, but he seemed somehow more there, a steady presence that filled Remus with a sense of security and contentment that he hadn't felt since he was a small child.

James was skillful at the art of disguising his all his little ministrations with lecherous overtones, playing it up as if James were only looking to benefit himself with his actions. Instead of Remus feeling pathetic or weak, James managed to make him feel sexy and well-cared for.

"Eat your peas, Moony." James' command came with a look of wide-eyed innocence. "You never know what you'll need your strength for later." His shoe nudged Remus under the table.

Remus shoved it away as subtly as he could. "I hate peas. And I'm not hungry." Both claims were true. And this close to the full his appetite was practically non-existent.

"I'll have them if you don't want them. Merlin knows I'll need all my strength scrubbing chamber pots without magic all evening." Peter poked disgruntledly at his own plate.

"You won't. Moony is going to eat them himself. And it's your fault for having gotten caught by Filch with those dungbombs."

"Talk of chamber pots and dungbombs has put me off food." Remus shoved his plate away, glad of the excuse.

"Drink your pumpkin juice, then," James coaxed. "There's a good lad."

Remus rolled his eyes, but lifted his goblet and took a healthy swallow. "Happy?"

A snort from Sirius drew both their gazes. He wasn't looking at either of them, but wore an expression of half disgust and half amusement.

"Is there a problem, Padfoot?" James inquired with a deceptively mild smile.

"Not at all, Prongs." Sirius finally looked at him, his own smile just as benign. He lifted an eyebrow as their stare down held on for several seconds.

Peter cleared his throat. "Er... I'm off, then. Don't want to be late." He sighed woefully as the dinner plates disappeared to be replaced with the night's pudding. Remus felt a bit sorry for him, knowing treacle tart was his favorite.

"We'll save you some, Peter."

"Ta, Moony."

James and Sirius finally broke their silent contest to bid Peter goodbye, tossing off a few friendly insults as he left. Everyone laughed as he threw two fingers over his shoulder at them and stalked out of the Great Hall.

They tucked into their dessert. James shoveling it in as if there weren't entire platterfuls still untouched on the table, and Sirius eating more precisely and elegantly, his upbringing always showing more through his table manners than anywhere else. Remus only shifted his serving around on his plate, taking one or two bites, and trying to make it appear as if he had eaten more.

It didn't fool them, of course. James frowned a bit but didn't say anything, for which Remus was grateful. His head was starting to ache a bit, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to the dorm and lie down in the dim seclusion without the constant susurration of the voices in the Great Hall.

He forced himself to remain and smile and make conversation. He couldn't let this affect him so much. It was too frustrating that his bloody curse was taking even more of what he considered his normal life away from him.

When he saw Sirius studying him with a speculative glint in his eye, he dared a question. "How are things with Regulus?"

James looked up, glancing between Remus and Sirius. He seemed surprised that Remus had asked, but just as curious. It didn't bode well that even James had been kept in the dark.

His expression flickering, Sirius looked down at his plate and shrugged. "I don't think I'll ever understand him." He said it lightly, but Remus noticed his knuckles turning white around his fork. "Bloody git. He doesn't realize what he's getting into."

Sirius looked across the table at Remus and tried on a grin. Heart squeezing in sympathy, Remus smiled back. "Don't give up, Padfoot. I bet he's been thinking about everything you've said."

For a moment, a look of wistfulness twisted his features then Sirius straightened, replacing it with a look of haughty indifference. "Right. Well, it's his look out now, yeah?"

"Too right!" Sirius lurched forward as James gave him a hearty clap on the shoulder. "Even so...if you were to want to use the cloak tonight to take a stroll in the dungeons...well, it's all yours, mate."

Sirius sat up and glared, rubbing at his shoulder, but Remus could see that he was grateful underneath it all, despite the grumbles that allowed him to save face. He did, in fact, excuse himself a few minutes later. In tacit agreement, James and Remus refrained from asking where he was off to.

Remus shot James a warm look after Sirius left, and they stood to make their way back to the dorm.

"What?"

Remus laughed. "Nothing."

"So you've just gone round the bend, then? Grinning like a nutter over nothing?"

"At you."

"Why me?"

The passed through the doors and made their way up the stairwell, Remus silent for a moment. "You'll just say I'm wet if I tell you."

"I already think you are. Remus-gigantic girl's blouse-Lupin."

"Oi!" Remus shoved James playfully, laughing as James retaliated. They scuffled for a moment, until a sharp twinge in his back caused Remus to pull up sharply, clutching at the nearby banister and gritting his teeth against the pain.

James was there in an instant, contrite and concerned, a hand grasping his elbow and hovering ever so lightly at the small of his back. "Moony, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." Remus spoke tightly, but already his back was beginning to loosen. He took a deep breath and then another, releasing the air slowly. "'M fine."

"Let's get back to the room, eh?" James released him slowly. His voice was light, but Remus could tell that James was put out with himself. Remus forced his limbs into a show of looseness, trying to wipe all traces of strain from his mouth and eyes. Though the fact that he was even momentarily incapacitated by such a minor thing made his eyes sting with the threat of angry tears.

"Come on, then." He smirked at James, striding off at a brisk pace and forcing his own frustration at his body's betrayal into submission.

Back in the room, James immediately pushed him onto his bed and made short work of divesting Remus of his shirt and trousers. If Remus was expecting anything amorous to come of it, he was mistaken. James merely ordered him to roll over, then gingerly straddled his hips.

Remus heard him mutter a spell and soon a delicious smell of crushed mint was filling the room. "What is that?"

"Got it from Pomfrey."

Remus moaned in sheer bliss as James began to spread a thick oil over his back, his strong fingers fanning out in broad strokes.

"You sound like a tart," James teased, digging in a little harder to make Remus gasp and wriggle.

"Shut it," Remus muttered half-heartedly. Truth be told, he'd be more than willing to trade sexual favors for one of James' back rubs. He almost, almost, thought he might miss them more than he would the kissing and touching they'd done when all this was over. But that was a thought he really didn't want to have now, so he forced himself to relax as James worked out the knots in his back, falling deeper into a languid sense of pleasure.

"You never told me why you were smiling," James eventually prompted.

"Oh." Remus shrugged lazily. "Just you, always looking out for your friends. Always knowing just what to do and say."

Instead of taking the piss, telling him he was wet after all, like Remus half expected, James was silent as he caressed the back of Remus' neck with the slick fingers. Remus sighed, pressing his face into the pillow.

Finally, James hand stilled. "Why don't you let me look out for you, then?"

Surprised, Remus turned his face outward. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you won't tell me why this has gotten so hard for you." James sounded agitated, his voice rising a little louder than a normal conversational tone. "The moons are killing you these days. You try and hide it, but all of us can see it, even Peter. You have barely a week where you're up to snuff. And Pomfrey doesn't give that pain potion out lightly. It's a restricted substance. And you won't even talk to me about why it's happening."

"James..."

"What, Remus?" James snapped. "Going to say you're fine again?"

"No, but..."

"But what? Why do you think we became animagi? Because we wanted to help you, and we still do. I still do, and it would be nice if I didn't have to fight you every step of the way."

"James, I'm sorry. I just...I don't know."

"Bollocks," James said flatly. "The only other time you were like this was last year before you and Sirius made up, so you tell me now. What has you so bothered your body is twisting you up like this? Sirius is worried too, you know. He thinks it might have something to do with him, with what happened."

"No! God, James, you have to tell him-"

"Then explain to me, Moony." James was practically begging, something he never did, and Remus' stomach did a slow flip. Guilt making him want to cringe away from James' touch. He didn't deserve it.

"You have a saving people thing, James," Remus muttered in a desperate last ditch to evade his probing.

"Remus." The hardness in his voice made Remus wince.

"I..." His voice wavered on the word, and Remus took in a deep breath and released it to steady himself. "I think I'm just...afraid."

James voice was much softer this time. "Afraid of what?"

"Leaving school." Remus closed his eyes. "Leaving everything here. Not being able to find a job no matter how many NEWTS I get. Being hated. Being a burden. Being...alone." Shame crawled through his belly, and Remus wished he could curl up and hide under his covers the way he had done when he was a child.

He could hear James breathing, a little unevenly, his fingers tightening almost imperceptibly around his neck. When James moved off his hips, Remus knew that this was the end. He'd exposed all of his weakness and fear and James was rightly disgusted. He finally realized just how much of a liability, a drain, Remus really was, which had to be much much worse in James' eyes than being a constant source of danger. At least that provided a temporary thrill.

But James didn't leave. He stretched out next to Remus, pushing him onto his side until they were tangled up facing each other. "Since Sirius' flat has only one bedroom, I figured we could get our own in London. In a better neighborhood, of course, I don't have the same penchant for disreputable company that Padfoot does."

"Yes you do," Remus said unthinkingly, then, "James, you can't-"

"You'll have to handle the bathroom cleaning charms, of course." James' voice overrode his. "Remember the party last year when we won the Quidditch Cup and Wormtail sicked up so much he clogged the toilet? I tried to do the enhanced Scourgify and exploded the loo."