Journal Entry

Nov. 11

Dominic Toretto

I know this is supposed to be my racing journal, filled with wins and losses, how the car is running, what repairs to make, what to repeat and most of the time in my case, what to never ever do again. There were at least ten things a race, but Papi said that was all a part of learning. I don't think I'll ever be able to bring myself to race again, but Uncle Givaino says I will. He says it's in our blood.

Mia's sleeping. Finally. She's passed out on top of the blankets on my bed, but the house is warm enough it she should be fine. Poor little baby. She looks like a little lost lamb. Just like I feel.

I had to tell Nana that Papi was dead. I thought she was going to die too. She just kept saying, "Not my Tony. Not my son." It was awful. I'll never do anything like that again. But it wasn't exactly like Momma could do it. Nana hasn't said a civil word to her since the day I was born. I don't know why. She just don't like her. I guess I could have waited for Uncle Givaino to get here, but it's my responsability. I have to be a man now. Nobody to get me out my shit anymore. I'm gonna quit school, so I can keep up the garage, full time. Momma's gonna throw a fit, but I don't care. Mia can be the one to finish college. Momma can't make it just by selling groceries and serving lunches. The store barely pulls in enough to cover it's expenses and pay the mortgage. It's the garage that pulls in the real money, and she knows it. Papi just keeps the store open cause he can't bear to see all his Papi's hardwork go to ruin. Of course, the only reason the garage makes any money is cause everybody want's Tony Toretto to work on their car. He's the best or he was the best. I wonder how we'll do without him.

Lender walked today. The judge ruled it an accident. Accident my ass. You don't go from the outside of the track to the inside wall like that on accident. He walked and he'll be back at the tracks saturday. Damn him. He'd better not say one word to me. Ever.

The services start tomarrow. Today is what my family calls the lost day. The day between arranging everything and the services. The day when you don't really know what to do with yourself. When you are just lost. I know what that means now.

Mia is awake and crying again. I think I'm going for a ride and Mia is going with me. She needs to get away. We both need to get away.