Chapter 3
By Saturday afternoon, Neal was still mulling over his late night chat with his wife about the big 'V'. Although he was the first to admit the time had come to move on to a more permanent solution to their birth control dilemma, he couldn't quite bring himself to commit to having his genitals mutilated in such a barbaric way. He'd gone on line to research the subject and he'd made the ill-advised decision to watch a video of the procedure - although he'd only managed to watch the first thirty seconds of the damn thing before averting his eyes and slamming the laptop shut in revulsion. Truth be told, it had merely taken the image of the medical instruments laid out on a sterilized tray to push him right over the edge.
Of course, he knew Sara was right. She had been through so much already - beginning with her surgery, her chemotherapy treatments which had been followed by months of anxiety, to say nothing of the ensuing years of follow-up appointments. It was his turn to step up to the plate and take one on the chin - although it wasn't really his chin he was worried about.
Short term pain for long term gain, he kept repeating to himself although the days passed and it didn't make things any easier. Sara had left the name of a urologist Dr. Cooper had recommended on his chest of drawers and he hadn't even had the courage to pick up the damn piece of paper and look at it.
Spending time in his studio was always a great way to relax and after lunch, Neal headed down to his version of a man cave to distract himself with his current work in progress - a painting of Liam shooting hoops in the school gym. Peter and El were expected for dinner and he would need to get down to the food preparation by mid-afternoon but in the meantime, he settled in to work at his beloved easel with the mellow sounds of the Eagles playing in the background.
WCWCWC
'Raffie!' Sara called out as she put down his bowl of food.
The dog didn't usually need any prompting whatsoever when it came to mealtime; as a rule, he was right by her side the moment she got anywhere near the cupboard where the dog food was kept.
She walked over to the top of the basement stairs and called out. 'Neal! Is Raffie down there with you?'
'No' came the answer as Sara continued to search the house for the dog. 'I put him out in the yard about ten minutes ago.'
The Caffreys' backyard in lovely White Plains, New York was nice and spacious, the perfect playground for a large dog like Raphael and he loved to roam around its perimeter for hours on end. He could usually be found lazing on the deck in the warm sunshine when he wasn't busy sniffing around the flower beds or chasing down the odd squirrel.
Sara opened the patio door off the family room and ventured out to look for the mutt in the bright afternoon sunshine, noting, at first glance, that he was nowhere in sight.
'Raffie!' she called out as she poked around a couple of his favorite hiding spots. She walked to the very edge of the deck and peeked around the corner, immediately spotting the gate leading to the front of the house was wide open.
Her blood pressure shot up as she made her way back into the house, furious.
'Liam Theodore Caffrey, get down here – RIGHT NOW!' she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Neal was the first to appear, barefoot, in his undershirt and loose fitting pants – his outfit of choice whenever he worked in the studio.
'Sara! What the hell's going on? I'm sure the whole neighborhood can hear you' he complained as he came into view.
'Your son left the gate open... AGAIN' she shrieked. 'And now Raffie's disappeared.'
'That's okay, we'll get him back' Neal said, his voice calm as he attempted to tone down the histrionics. This wasn't the first time the smart pooch had found an escape route out of the yard and it surely wouldn't be the last.
'Neal, this happens every single time! Liam needs to learn to close the damn gate' she continued, obviously not done with her rant.
'Mom?' Liam said quietly as he appeared, not sure he wanted to interact with his mom in the state she appeared to be in.
'Liam, how many times have I told you to keep the gate closed!' she shouted, her face red, veins protruding from her neck.
'But my ball went over the fence and I went out to get it' Liam explained.
'Well then, get your ball and close the gate behind you!' Sara continued, undeterred.
'Honey, we'll get him back' Neal said as he wandered to the front of the house to grab a pair of sneakers and a shirt. 'Calm down.'
As soon as the last two words left his lips, he knew he would live to regret them. Sara was in no mood to be told to calm down - something she absolutely hated hearing when she was in the middle of a major hissy fit.
'CALM DOWN?' she shrieked, her eyes popping out of her head. 'Well, that's just great coming from the guy who put the dog out in the yard in the first place!'
Neal glared at his wife, a look of exasperation on his face. Lately, when she flew off the handle, there was absolutely no way to reason with her; he let out a long suffering sigh and walked over to where Liam stood, placing his hand on his shoulder.
'Come on buddy. Let's go see if we can find Raffie' he said calmly as he turned to leave.
They disappeared out the front door and Sara stood in the kitchen all alone, her body shaking as she instantly dissolved into tears.
WCWCWC
'Dad, why is Mom so mad all the time?' sweet little Liam asked as he sat in the car next to his dad.
Neal took a deep breath, uncertain how to go about giving his eight year old son a simple rundown of the feminine mystique, specifically the hormonal fluctuations of the menopausal woman.
'Buddy, she's not just mad at you, she's... mad at everybody right now' Neal explained.
'Why?' Liam asked innocently.
'Well, getting older isn't easy and women... well, women's bodies change when they get to be Mom's age and sometimes they get irritated and frustrated and we don't always understand why they behave the way they do' he continued. 'To be honest, I'm not sure Mom understands it herself.'
'But why does she yell at me?' the boy asked, obviously upset.
'I ask myself that every day' Neal muttered under his breath. He reached out to pat his son on the arm. 'Just don't take it personally, okay, it's not your fault, buddy.'
They drove up and down the neighboring streets on their way to the local park, where Raffie loved to roam free. As expected, they could see him in the distance, sniffing repeatedly at nothing and stopping every few feet to raise his leg and leave his scent.
'There he is, Dad!' Liam called out, pointing.
By the time they came home with the dog in tow, Sara had all but reverted to her old self, no sign of the crazy banshee who had been there minutes before. Raffie ran in excitedly, making a beeline for his food dish as Sara's eyes met Neal's.
'I'm sorry... I lost it' she said quietly as Neal gave her a head nod towards their son.
'Liam, sweetie' Sara said as she walked over to him and touched his hair. 'I'm sorry I got so upset, I shouldn't have screamed like that' she admitted sheepishly.
Liam just shrugged and let his mom hug him, something she seemed hell bent on doing whether he liked it or not.
'But, next time, please remember to close the gate' she added, kissing his forehead.
'I will' he mumbled as he headed back up the stairs.
Neal could see Sara had been crying and he tentatively made his way over to her, unsure which of the many Saras would be peeking out from under that copper head of hair.
'Look, honey...I'm an adult and I can take it but Liam's just a kid. You don't want him remembering you as the mom who yelled at him all the time, do you?' Neal attempted as Sara looked down, embarrassed about her earlier outburst.
'You don't understand, Neal' she said as the tears returned. 'It's like my body's been snatched by some alien and replaced by this... crazy woman.'
'Awww, come here' Neal said as he opened his arms, enveloping her in warmth and understanding. He rolled his eyes at no one; it was going to be a long... and bumpy ride.
WCWCWC
'Well, I finally brought up the idea of a vasectomy the other night' Sara said as she and Elizabeth worked side by side, chopping up vegetables for a salad.
'You're kidding! How did that go over?' El asked
'Like a lead balloon' Sara answered as she glanced out at the deck, watching as Neal and Peter sat sipping their drinks.
'I'll bet' Elizabeth said. 'If he's like every other man on the planet, he's probably freaking out at the thought of having someone tamper with his junk.'
'To his credit, he covered it up pretty well' Sara answered. 'He doesn't want me to have to go through another operation...plus the fact that he realized my period was late and, for a couple of hours, he was terrified I might have gotten pregnant again.'
Elizabeth giggled. 'Wow. That should be motivation enough to get him on board.'
Sara let out a long, slow sigh as she thought back to how she'd totally lost it with Liam. She didn't like being that person, that crazy lady who couldn't control her emotions.
'So, how do you cope...with this... menopause thing?' Sara asked tentatively.
'You just do' answered Elizabeth. 'Some days are better than others.'
'I'm afraid I'm going to alienate everyone around me before this is over' Sara admitted. 'I totally lost it with Liam this afternoon; I thought he was going to run off and hide under his bed.'
El put down the knife she was holding and glanced sympathetically at her best friend. 'Believe me, I get it. Peter gets this look in his eyes like he's terrified I'm going to throttle him and then I realize I'm the one who put that look of terror in his eyes.'
'I know...' Sara said, sadly. 'I don't want to be that crazy lady but I can't seem to control myself. And poor Neal, I feel so sorry for him...married to a raving lunatic.'
Elizabeth smiled at Sara as she gently touched her arm. 'Maybe you want to talk to your doctor about hormone replacement or some other medication' she suggested as Sara shrugged.
'And maybe you want to talk to Neal' she added.
WCWCWC
Neal peeked through the patio door, noticing the women deep in conversation. He wanted to talk to Peter about a couple of things and he didn't want the women overhearing.
'What's up? Why are you acting so jumpy?' Peter asked as he took a long, slow pull on his beer.
'Is it that obvious?' Neal asked as he nervously glanced towards the kitchen once more.
'You look like you're expecting an anvil to fall on your head' Peter joked.
'Not an anvil but...Sara's been acting like a crazy lady and I never know what she's going to say or do whenever I get within striking distance. Most times, she's just sweet, loving Sara and then, bam, out of the blue, she morphs into a person I don't even know.'
Peter raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. 'I warned you...' he said.
'Look, don't get me wrong; Sara's always been headstrong and fiery and...well...' Neal said, his voice quiet '...I love that about her, you know...how strong and independent she is. We've been married for almost twelve years and her crazy sense of humor, the way she calls it like it is... it's, you know...it's sexy.'
Neal looked down at his glass of wine, slightly embarrassed. 'But lately, those little ways I've found over the years to get her off her high horse whenever she goes a little ape shit...' Neal said, his voice quiet '...well, they're just not working anymore.'
'I hear you' Peter responded as he shook his head in empathy.
'And to top things off, she wants me to have a vasectomy!' Neal whispered.
'What?' Peter countered, shocked.
'Shhh!' Neal checked that the women were still out of hearing range before continuing. 'Well, after what happened last year, we both realize it would be a disaster if she got pregnant again. That ship has sailed, if you know what I mean' Neal confided.
Peter listened as his best friend unburdened himself.
'And there are only so many ways...you know...to make sure it doesn't happen again' Neal mumbled.
'Are you going to go through with it?' Peter asked, leaning forward in his chair.
'I don't know...' Neal answered with a long suffering sigh. 'It's me or her and...well, I can't ask Sara to have surgery after everything she's been through.'
'Why do I sense a 'but'?' Peter asked.
Neal rolled his eyes, as if the answer was obvious.
'Yeah, I suppose' Peter said as he nervously crossed his legs in response to a sudden, strange sensation in his groin.
The patio door slid open and Neal practically jumped out of his skin.
There stood Sara, looking like a domestic goddess in a 'kiss the cook' apron and carrying a plate of T-bone steaks. 'Honey...' she said, her voice soft and sweet '...it's time to fire up the barbecue.'
TBC
