Cloud Nine
By: Lehua
Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.
Chapter Three
Rin woke alone. She turned over on her back and looked up into the canopy of leaves, small pockets of sky visible here and there. Around her the forest chattered and moved, the wind swaying the trees as it coursed along the ground. Her shoulder ached and her mind was embarrassed by her unintended display of affection towards her Lord, "Sesshomaru," she muttered. It seemed her heart continued to view her Lord, "Sesshomaru," she muttered, as the god who had saved her from death still; her subservient nature towards him was putting a damper on her newly-found maturity. Her mind said he was just a demon, a demon who had saved her from death for reasons he never cared to discuss, and he didn't deserve the undying allegiance she had once pursued him with; but her heart, her heart wanted to take her place by his side again, the place he'd come to collect her for just yesterday, the place she'd rejected because she didn't think she could handle the pain of being so close and yet so far.
He was nearby; she knew he was close. She didn't know exactly where he was or why he was hiding from her, but she knew he was there. He wouldn't have followed her all of yesterday just to leave her in the night, and he did say he was staying with her all night, so he was close by, but hidden.
She winced as she sat up, her head spinning slightly. She needed to eat and she needed a bath. Her preoccupation with being totally aware of his presence behind her yesterday made her forget what time of the month it was; surely she reeked and was badly in need of a bath. She ate what was left of supper, gathered her things, and went in search of a river.
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He watched her from the shadows, heard her say his name a couple of times. He wanted to be there with her, to be the first thing she saw when she awoke, but he couldn't bring himself to appear before her. He needed time to think, needed time to sort things out, needed time to figure out why she had rejected him; but he also needed to see her, to be with her, to be sure she was protected at all times. So he followed her, watching her from the shadows, aware that she was aware that he was there, but neither of them mentioning it.
He'd noticed a subtle change in their relationship when she decided to stay with the old priestess after the baka Naraku was dead. He had been curious and perplexed at her request, but had acceded to her wishes, as he always had. He'd never forced himself on her, never made her come with him; he'd always told her to do as she wished when she was given a choice. He didn't know how much he relied on her gentle innocence until she was gone, until it was just him and Jaken again.
From a distance he watched her grow, watched her mature. When she'd first begun to bleed he had approached the old priestess, his body tense and distressed but his face calm and passive. Rin was a bit more subdued in his presence but seemed unharmed: why did she smell so strongly of blood? When he'd learned that this was a natural process for human females, that this rite-of-passage indicated Rin's fertility, he'd been shocked. She was a child, had always been a child in his mind, and suddenly, in the space of a night she went from a child to a woman. She still was a child, she still skipped and jumped and played with flowers and smiled so innocently and without fear at him; but her body was maturing into an adult. Had she been in his sole care, what would he have done? He knew females went through a biological rite-of-passage, but beyond the technical knowledge he had nothing, no practical knowledge whatsoever.
He'd never discussed her unfolding maturity with her, just watched her grow and blossom, noticed the subtle changes of her scent, noticed the sheen of her hair and the glow of her cheeks when she saw him. Over time he'd become aware of her growing attraction for him, noticed the growing shyness and the way she would peek at him from beneath her lashes. He'd been flattered at first but then became disturbed with her growing obsession. She waited for him, but was aloof when he came near her; she pulled at him and pushed him away at the same time. It was a dangerous combination; he was at once drawn to her and repulsed by her, finding himself waiting for the next day he would see her, hoping that his gift would please her enough so that she would give up this game. She wove a web of such intricacy and delicacy that he wasn't even aware of it until recently.
And she did it unconsciously.
She didn't know what she did to him, didn't know the kind of desire she was dragging up in him. Didn't know the dangers she could face if he let her have her wish, if he let himself acknowledge that it was his wish too.
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It had been years since he'd seen her undress and bathe; she was a little self-conscious. Not only had he never seen her fully matured naked body, she was also perfectly aware how unusual this would be in the normal world, a grown human woman undressing and bathing with a powerful demon nearby and most likely watching. She'd never dare to ask him to turn away, but she couldn't help shaking a little as she slipped out of her clothes. She stood for a few moments, her back to the forest, before stepping quickly into the water and submerging herself wholly.
The water was cool, goose bumps forming all over her skin, her nipples becoming erect as she dipped below the surface. She wanted to hide here beneath the water until he went away, but that was impossible because he wasn't going anywhere for the time being; something about her intrigued him and he was going to pursue it until he was satisfied. That fact that she was uncomfortable in his presence now didn't seem to make any difference to him; it was atypical behavior for him: he was usually concerned with her comfort.
Unable to stay under any longer she burst up, dragging in a ragged breath and finding a concerned alpha demon standing at the river bank. She gasped and dived back down, her cheeks flushing even in the cold water. What was he doing? Why was he standing there with that look on his face? She came up for air and then dived back down, kicking away from the shore where he stood. She would have preferred he stay hidden in shadow. How would she get out of here without dying of embarrassment?
She came up for air again and glanced back, still seeing his form on the bank. She'd swum a great deal farther than she had intended; she'd better swim back before she tired herself out. She was kicking and stroking just as Kagome taught her when she felt something large slither pass her leg. Don't stop; don't stop, she repeated in her head. Whatever it was it was probably big, stupid and harmless. She felt it swim pass her again, this time a talon sneaking up along her thigh. She opened her mouth and inhaled a lot of river water.
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He was keeping a careful eye on Rin; even over the river he could hear the sound of her heartbeat, noticed the exact moment it sped up in unease. He was grabbing her out of the water before the demon could drag her too far under, shredding the offending water imp with his claws and hauling her back to the shore, to safety. She gasped and sputtered, throwing up gouts of water, her hands fisted on the earth as she tried to catch her breath. He covered her quickly with his outer garment and stood back, unsure what he should do. She was breathing and covered. He'd always been uncomfortably aware of his inability to offer suitable comfort for her; humans were a rodent; they didn't deserve studying.
Her fingers pulled his robe closed over her body as she knelt upright. She looked up at him, her dark eyes calm, the look of the girl he'd known so well overcoming her awkward maturity. She smiled and he turned away, trying to hide the blush that he knew was creeping over his features. If his tail wasn't hanging over his shoulder he was sure it would be wagging; why did he feel like he'd just been a "good boy"?
He walked away, giving her time to compose herself. A few minutes later he heard her footsteps coming up behind him, and he turned to her before she reached him. She hesitated for a moment, uncertainty in her eyes, before moving closer and handing him his robes. Her wet body was covered in her shirt kimono, her long legs naked beneath the hanging tails. He imagined that if her kimono had been made of thinner material he could probably see her entirely, but the sturdy material kept her upper body hidden from view. Her legs were on display for all to see, so he took a moment to look, noticing the increase in her scent as she caught him looking. When she'd undressed before he had looked away, more out of embarrassment than modesty; he knew she was uncomfortable and he wanted to spare her the embarrassment. But now she came to him, half-dressed, and if that wasn't invitation to look than he was his idiot half-brother.
Her legs were nicely curved and shapely, her calves plump and her thighs muscular. By the time he made it up to her eyes she was blushing furiously and unable to look him in the face. Her hand was still offering him his robes and he took them from her, his claws brushing her fingertips. She jumped and turned away, quickly disrobing by the shore and getting into the shallows. He watched her dip and sway in the water, rubbing her skin until it was red, and when she got out—this time without his assistance—he turned away and waited for her to dry off and dress.
She was leaning on a rock outcrop over the rushing water, fully dressed, methodically cleaning her bloodied clothing from yesterday. Her wet hair was piled loosely on her head and she concentrated unnecessarily hard at her task. He watched as she scrubbed everything; she frowned at the tear she found in her kimono and sighed when the blood wouldn't come off. She muttered, "Two in one day," and moved on to cleaning smaller pieces of cloth and he wondered where exactly would she wear that: he'd seen nothing of the sort on her person earlier.
By the time she was done the sun was up. She laid her clothes out to dry on a rock and sat down in the middle of the soft grass, her face upturned to the sun, a smile welcoming the rays on her face. He stood behind her and a little to the right, keeping out of her way and studying her.
"Sit," she said.
He obeyed without hesitation and they sat in silence, her face turned away, her eyes closed. He could still see some of the girl he'd known her to be in her face, but mostly she had changed and grown up. He wondered for the first time what she was thinking at this moment, and before he could stop himself he asked her.
She smiled, her eyes still closed. "I'm remembering the first moment I saw you, in the woods, leaning against the tree." She turned and looked at him. "I thought you were a god."
He said nothing.
She continued. "I was sure after I left you the first time that you wouldn't be there when I returned, but you were, and I was so happy to offer you what little I could." She snorted, a trait she must have picked up from his brother and the little miko. "It never mattered to me that I would get in trouble for taking food from the village stores to offer you." He'd guessed before that her bruises were from the villagers; the smell of older men mixed with her blood disgusted him in a way he'd never experienced before: he was upset that they should beat this girl child.
She looked down, her eyes glazing over in melancholy. "When the wolves came all I could think about was getting to you. I knew you could protect me. I thought that if I ran to you, you would come and save me." Tears welled up in her eyes. "But I never made it. I was lost in the darkness for so long." The tears fell down her cheeks.
She'd never spoken of the attack, of the wolves killing everyone in her village. When he'd revived her she'd followed him willingly, mute for weeks, smiling at him and offering him flowers from every glade they passed through. He'd let her follow him, wondering if the Tenseiga would affect her in any way besides reviving her. But the little he'd known of her beforehand didn't bode well for an experiment; he couldn't really compare her behavior before and after. All her could say definitively of the Tenseiga was that it revived her and there appeared to be no ill effects. She was the first person he'd ever revived; he felt mildly responsible for her. He promised himself he would drop her off at the next village, but he always found himself detouring around the villages, patiently waiting for her to finish playing so they could move on. Every village they encountered he would tell her to do as she wished; she always followed.
"But then you came and you saved me—from death. I woke and there you were, standing over me with your sword, a perplexed look on your face. When you walked away all I could do was follow. I was so happy to be alive, happy to be following you, happy that you would let me be with you for however long you wished. This Rin loved you as a god." Her speech fell into her old pattern and he felt a tugging in his chest, remembering how happily she would chatter away about anything.
"I was happy." She smiled again, her face turned toward the sun. "I was so happy for a very long time. You were my god, my protector. I had perfect faith in you, knew you would come to my aid whenever I called."
He still would come to her aid. He'd always protect her. He couldn't help but protect her, after so many years of watching over her. Did she think he wouldn't still protect her? Did she think he would desert her?
A cloud passed over the sun, her smile falling. "But then I began to love you in a different way, a selfish way. I suddenly wanted you all to myself, wanted you to love me, not only tolerate me. I wanted you cherish me the way I cherished you in my heart. I nursed this love in my heart for so long, keeping it hidden from you. I didn't want to embarrass you with my love."
She thought he would be embarrassed by her love? Human women were a mystery.
"I chose the life of a priestess because I couldn't stand not being your wife and living with you, and I couldn't take a man into my heart. This is the only option I have. Please don't make me regret my choice."
She was trying to keep back the tears, trying to be strong. He could never deal with tears, didn't know what to do. Even now, as her heart was breaking, she was trying to make things easier for him. She was asking him to leave her alone, to let her live her life the way she intended, and he couldn't let her go. He was chasing after her, a shadow at her back, and it was hurting her.
He brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned toward him, her body swaying in the wind. The sun appeared from behind its cloud, shedding new light on her glistening face, the trails of her tears sparkling against her cheeks. He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips, his fangs grazing her bottom lip and drawing blood. Her body stilled at the gentle pressure of his lips and she parted hers slightly, licking him. The blood thrummed in his body, rushing to all the places he had rejected as of late, hardening all his muscles. He felt the dark needs of his heart coming to the surface again, wanting to take this woman who was offering herself so willingly to him, human though she was, and make her writhe and scream beneath him.
He pulled away from her slowly. She opened her eyes, sorrow etched in every corner, and she turned away from him. He left her.
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Rin sat in the shade of a tree, truly alone for the first time in her life since Sesshomaru had entered it. Now that he was gone, truly gone forever, she was able to distance herself from the demon she had grown to love over the years. Her heart was no longer breaking; it was broken. She gathered her things together and tried to leave the pieces by the river where he had kissed her goodbye.
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Read and Review. It's not over. Thanks for the reviews for Chapter 2. I enjoy reading them; makes me happy.
