A/N: Thank you for your patience.
The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. -Virginia Woolf
"She's awake."
Hermione groaned at the volume of her father's voice and then the strained shush of her mother before the pressure beside her disappeared. For a moment she waited for someone to say something before she opened her eyes to see her parents nearby, watching her with extremely concerned faces. Her mother came back to her side, taking her hand.
"Are you okay?"
Hermione raised a hand to touch her head to touch her head which was throbbing terribly.
"Fine," she lied. "Where's Curtis?"
Her parents shared a glance.
"Hermione, you've been unconscious for a while," Mr. Granger whispered. Hermione frowned.
"How long?"
"A couple of days," her mother responded quickly. Hermione's eyes widened temporarily before her face flamed up when the event of what happened came to her in a sudden wave. She closed her eyes as she struggled to dispel those ugly and unwarranted conclusions to her overactive imagination and unanswered letters.
"Did I… did I do anything that Curtis-"
"No," Mrs. Granger answered hastily. "When you stopped screaming…" This seemed to be a harder part for her to say. "When you stopped screaming, we were able to convince him that we would take care of you. You had a fever for a while and you were still mumbling to yourself, but after a while you fell asleep."
"Oh," was all Hermione could come up with. Her parents watched her carefully.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine mum," Hermione whispered, trying to ignore the aching pounding in her ears. "Really, mum, its okay. I was just overreacting."
Mr. Granger frowned.
"Hermione, that was not overreacting. You were hyperventilating, pale and screaming your head off," he said sternly, the frown growing deeper as the memory of that night becoming clearer as he spoke about it. "You were sobbing hysterically as well. That is not fine."
As he finished saying this the tears reappeared in Hermione's eyes and she quickly swiped at them angrily, remembering the letter clearly and painfully.
"Stop writing? Stop writing?!"
"Hermione, is that really what it said?" Mrs. Granger asked. Hermione looked surprised.
"You didn't read it?"
Her parents shook her head.
"We couldn't see the words, dear," her mother explained.
"Why would he want me to stop writing? What's going on?" Hermione said, not listening to a thing her mother had said. Mr. Granger sighed.
"Hermione, you need to calm down. You need to think about something else. You just had an episode and you're extremely weak. If you continue to get all worked up about this then you could have another episode and it would kill us if you didn't wake up."
Hermione's heart contracted painfully and she looked down at her hands, shaking her head.
"But you don't get it. Why would Lupin tell me not to write? Something bad is happening," she said. "
"Dear, you don't know that," Mr. Granger said. "They could just be in a very difficult position in which it's in your best interest not to write."
"But I saw them, dad. I saw the Weasleys die! I saw Harry and Ron! I saw them-" She choked on her tears and buried her face in her hands. She tried to breathe evenly through her fingers. She felt her mother run her hands over her hair.
"Hermione, you need to calm down, now," her mother begged. "I'm sure they're fine."
"Then why can't they contact me," Hermione cried. "Why can't they tell me what's wrong?"
"Maybe they're in a tough situation," Mr. Granger suggested desperately.
"I DON'T CARE!" she screamed violently shoving her covers away from her and jumping out of bed, disregarding the sudden rush of blood to her head and the nausea that came with it. "I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE IN A TOUGH SITUATION! I CAN'T KEEP WAITING IN SILENCE!"
"Hermione!"
Her overexertion caused her to sway dangerously before she collapsed to the floor in an exhausted heap. She didn't hear the cries of her mother, nor did she feel her father pick her up and place her back on the bed. Words were passing through her lips more quickly than she could remember that she had thought about them.
"Hermione, you need to breathe!"
But it was too late.
Hermione gave one last attempt to wheeze in air before she fell back on the bed, unconscious.
A couple of weeks went by in which Hermione was forced to accept the cruel reality of her situation. She was alone.
For the first few days the Grangers watched their daughter carefully, not wanting her to fall back into the dangerous comatose state that had lasted almost five days the last time. Dark purplish black circles lingered under Hermione's tired eyes as she dragged herself around, face void of any emotion and body moving mechanically, absent of any form of life. Mr. Granger, after burning the letter, had decided to call the doctor. Though knowing they couldn't tell the man everything, it was better than sitting in painful silence, watching their daughter slowly fall apart. The doctor had prescribed some medicine for her to take, but after he had left, Hermione flat out refused to take them, insisting that nothing was wrong with her.
After that, she made an agonizing show of trying to prove to her parents that she was okay. She began to hang out with her old friends again and soon Curtis was around more often, the two either going out for ice cream or staying indoors to talk. Though it was obvious to her parents that Hermione was still a little unsteady, she was smiling again as she fought to forget where she hadn't been this summer and who she hadn't been with.
July was coming to a close, making it much harder for Hermione to concentrate on living through the day, but somehow she managed to remove herself from the excruciating depths of pain she felt every morning after a horrific nightmare and plaster a thin layer of skin over the massive hole where her heart had once been.
Maybe if she could fool everyone else into thinking she was happy, perhaps eventually she would be happy as well.
Mrs. Granger stopped at her daughter's door and looked in to see her sitting on the edge of her bed, tying her shoes. She was glad to see that, though she wasn't smiling, Hermione wasn't just… dead. Hermione looked calm and collected as she prepared for tonight.
Hermione looked up from tying her shoes to see her mother walk into her room with a smile.
"Are you going out with Curtis?" she asked curiously.
Hermione blushed, something Mrs. Granger had not seen in a long time. Curtis was a good thing.
"We're just going out to a movie, mum. We're not planning a wedding so don't get so excited," she replied.
Mrs. Granger shrugged.
"No, I suppose I suppose it is too early to be thinking about weddings."
"Curtis and I are just friends," Hermione reminded her, walking past her mother and down the stairs. Mrs. Granger smiled.
"Your father and I were 'just friends' also," she called down the stairs.
"Are you okay?"
Hermione looked up to see Curtis watching her carefully and she blushed under his intense gaze.
"Yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking is all," she told him, licking some of her ice cream.
"About?"
Hermione shrugged and offered a timid smile.
"You," she said.
Curtis snorted, tossing his ice cream away.
"Yeah right. What were you really thinking about?"
Hermione shook her head, her smile growing stronger.
"No really. I was thinking about you… and something my mother said earlier."
"What did she say?"
Hermione smiled.
"Nothing of significance."
Curtis pretended to be hurt by the statement.
"That's harsh," he said, nudging her playfully in the side. Hermione poked him back.
"Why? Did you think you think that we would hold a whole ceremony in which we listed all of the attributes that made you the amazing person you think you are?" she asked mockingly. Curtis smirked.
"Well, I was going more for the shrine with my face in the center and a diary with nothing but my name scribbled in it, but Pomp and Circumstance sounds even better," he replied coyly. Hermione smiled and looked around the street, noticing a few other couples laughing and enjoying their time together. That's when she realized how much of a good time she was having with Curtis and how much his presence distracted her from the gaping hole in her chest.
"I think it's more of the Death March if you ask me," she replied, finishing the rest of her ice cream and throwing the cup and napkin in the nearest bin. Curtis laughed and Hermione suddenly thought how much she loved his laugh. It was warm and comforting, even with all of the pain she was continuing to feel. It allowed her to feel relaxed and reminded her of the time she spent in the library, surrounded by books that made her feel safe and feel like she belonged. She liked that feeling.
They walked along the lit street quietly for a while, enjoying the silent company of the other.
"Well, how did you enjoy the movie?" Curtis finally asked. Hermione smiled and looked up at him.
"I liked it. Very funny," she lied. The truth was, she hadn't paid attention to half of it because of its ridiculous parallel to her own world. Curtis nodded in agreement.
"I loved the part where that wizard guy fell off his broom and actually caught that thing in his mouth. That would be amazing to be able to fly on a broom," he added excitedly.
"It's not that exciting," Hermione muttered darkly to herself.
"What?"
Hermione offered him a bright smile.
"I was just wondering how they actually got those people to fly like that. It's not like people can actually fly on brooms and stuff."
Curtis shrugged.
"I guess not. But I liked how they did away with that whole thing about witches riding on brooms to go wreak havoc on people and such. It was much more interesting that they flew brooms for sport. I wonder where they got that idea from," he pondered while completely missing the blush that was creeping onto Hermione's face as he continued to talk about her reality.
"Well, it's movie. I'm sure they make up a lot of that stuff," she said insistently. Curtis nodded.
"Yeah…" he muttered, but she could tell that he was still thinking about it even after they had gone on to different topics. They walked around for a while, stopping occasionally at shop windows to look in. They stopped at one little vendor where Curtis looked around for something for his younger sister. As he did that, Hermione looked around the area curiously.
"This is nice," Curtis muttered, holding an ornate music box up for her to see. She smiled and nodded.
"You should definitely get it for her," she told him, glancing around at some other items before she spotted a window that caught her immediate interest. After Curtis had paid for his stuff, she took his arm and led him to the small shop near by.
"Let's go in here," she said intently. When Curtis noticed that it was a bookstore, he rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.
"Typical," he said jokingly. Hermione offered a smile while she searched through the books, hoping to find something that she hadn't read.
They stayed in the shop for a while before Curtis declared that Hermione had read absolutely every book known to man and that he should take her back home before it got too late. It was already dark outside and the street lights were on. They said goodbye to the store clerk and left, Hermione looking over at Curtis occasionally to see that he was looking at her as well.
As they walked home, she convinced herself that her feelings for this boy were only friendly while trying to shove away the painfully obvious feelings she had for a certain redhead.
"Thanks for the ice cream," she said, turning to face Curtis when they reached the front door. Curtis nodded.
"No problem. Thanks for dealing with me for a couple of hours."
Hermione smiled.
"I never had problems dealing with you," she said. "I just really needed to get out of the house… well you know…"
Curtis nodded and for a moment they just stood there. Then he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers gently, causing her body to tense up at the action. She let him kiss her for a moment, thankful for any excuse to ignore the aching where her heart was supposed to be, before she pulled away, looking down at her shoes.
"Curtis… you and I-"
"I'm sorry," he interrupted, seeing the affect the kiss had had on her. Hermione sighed and looked up at him.
"No, Curtis, I'm sorry… it's just…"
"Ron?"
Hermione nearly blanched upon hearing the name and it took her a moment to recover from his shocking question.
"What?" was all that escaped her suddenly dry mouth. Curtis looked a little hesitant.
"Is it Ron?"
Hermione frowned.
"How do you know about Ron?" she asked before realizing how it must have sounded to him. But she didn't correct herself. Instead, she watched him carefully as embarrassment fell over his handsome features.
"You… well, you said his name quite a bit a couple of weeks ago… when you…" he seemed at a loss as to how to describe Hermione's episode.
"Freaked out?" Hermione offered tentatively, growing red herself from embarrassment. So she had been saying his name out loud. That was something her parents had failed to tell her. Curtis nodded timidly and they were silent for a moment before Hermione spoke. "Curtis, it's not Ron… he's just a friend of mine from school," she whispered softly, not wanting to scare him off. He looked up at her.
"Then what is it?" he asked, wanting to know the real reason to Hermione's odd behavior. Hermione sighed and took his hand.
"You're my friend, Curtis," she whispered. "But we only see each other during the summer and I don't want to hold you back during the school year. We'll never see each other and to be quite honest, long distance relationships never work… trust me," she added, her mind flashing quickly to a handsome Quiddich player. "Besides… you've been so good to me for the past few weeks and I've loved the time we've spent together… it would kill me to lose you as a friend," she said sincerely. "I love you too much."
She really meant what she said. She did love him. But only in the way she loved Harry or Ginny… never in the way she loved…
She stopped herself quickly from thinking those agonized thoughts and brought herself back to the present, where Curtis was staring at her, knowing that she had already made up her mind.
"I get it Hermione. It's okay," he said in a somewhat defeated tone. The thing that really amazed her was that she could tell that he actually did get her situation. That's what made this even more difficult.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
He offered her a brave smile.
"I'll get over it," he muttered. Hermione returned the gesture, leaning into him and resting her head against his chest while she felt his arms envelope her in his warmth. She closed her eyes to keep herself from crying as she hugged him tightly, afraid that if she let him go, she would never hear from him again.
"Thank you, Curtis," she whispered weakly into his shirt, breathing deeply as his hold tightened briefly. He leaned down and kissed her hair, smoothing it out with one hand while he held her with the other. He lingered there, closing his eyes as well as he breathed in her scent.
"I'll always be here for you, Hermione. You know that, right?"
Hermione pulled away a little so that she remained in his arms, but so that she could look into his sad eyes.
"I know," she murmured. They stared at each other for a moment before Hermione stood on her toes and kissed his cheek, remaining for a moment. "I'll always need you," she whispered into his ear before pulling away and turning to unlock her door. Before she went inside she looked back at him and smiled wanly.
"Goodnight," she murmured.
Curtis smiled and waved, starting off down the sidewalk.
"Night, Hermione," he said before leaving. Hermione watched him walk away through sad eyes before she turned and went inside.
"Hermione, is that you?" she heard her father call from his study.
"Yes Dad, I'm here," she called back tiredly.
"Did you have fun?" he asked as she entered his study and sat down heavily in a chair. She offered him a smile and nodded.
"Yes, I did."
Mr. Granger watched her closely.
"You like him?"
Hermione looked down at her hands.
"Yeah," she whispered, sighing. "But not in that way. We're just friends."
"Oh."
That was all he said.
That was all he had to say. He knew what she was talking about and he didn't want to press the matter. He had finally gotten some remnant of his daughter back. He wasn't about to send her back into the pitiful darkness she had been wallowing in for the past few weeks.
A/N: Well, I hope you all liked that.
sballLuvr5: Well, you're just going to have to keep waiting, just like Hermione. :-)
mrsronweasley2113: I think her mind is just running away with her. She doesn't really think they're dead, but with all the bad stuff that's happening in London and else where, she can't help but jump to conclusions, especially after that letter.
mgmve2008: All very good questions which I have absolutely no intention on answering any time soon. :-) Happy Reading!
LadyInWriting: Well, I can't really say why he wrote it, but things are going to get a little bit more interesting, I suppose. At least I think they are. I don't really know.
OzDust: Ron is my guy also, but to be honest, Curtis is a little bit of a help for her. But they're not going to get to gether.
tamara72: Well, we'll just have to find out.
Rumpleteaze: Yeah, she definitely isn't used to that. Again, a little bit dramatic with the first part of the chapter, but I managed to calm her down at the second part.
Wesker888: Oh you have no idea... or maybe you do...
mclaughlin: Thank you!
Headfirst for the Halos: I would save your "poor Hermione's" for chapter 5.
Chapter Tease:
"Hermione-"
"I saw them, Dad…"
There was a moment where no one said anything. All that could be heard was the clinking of the glass being placed into a small glass cup that had been in the bathroom.
"Hermione… you saw who?"
