Hi everybody!

Whoo! Ok, here's chapter three. After all of your reviews and encouragement (which I can't thank you for enough, by the way) I'm simultaneously eager/terrified about what you'll say about this. But I won't blather on about it.

Let's take a look and see if there's any hope of Blaine getting out of that river in Egypt. ;)

DISCLAIMER: Oh no, I totally have legal claims to Glee. I'm currently writing the scenes between Blaine and his sister (played by my incredibly talented twin) and all my stories are actually deleted scenes that will be released with the DVD's. (Note my blatant use of sarcasm)


Once again, there was a description of the video off to the side. Without hesitation, Blaine clicked on the "read more" icon. He had learned his lesson the first time.

No more surprises.

Greetings freak show babies.
It has come to my attention that Schuester's three-ring circus excuse for a club is posting their depravity on the Internet. The only reason I have not taken and destroyed these videos is in the hopes that a viewer will break into the glee club's houses and proceed to sell each one of them on the black market to the highest bidder. I was approached by the pack of un-bathed, hideous wolverine-raised heathens who post these videos. Goggles, Crème-Filled Pastry, and Freckles MaGee asked if they could post the performances of Aretha and my sweet Porcelain. I agreed only so that you could feast your eyes upon talent you will never possess. Watch on and weep, hopeless losers.
General Zod out!

Yeah. That's Coach Sylvester. Anyone who goes to McKinley will understand. To the rest of you, there's no way we can possibly even begin to explain.
Know this. "General Zod" is not humorous, ironic, or an exaggeration.

Blaine had met Coach Sylvester briefly in the coffee shop (in fact, in a weird sort of way, this whole episode was her fault) and had gotten the impression that, when dealing with her, it was best just to accept certain things.

In other words, some questions were better left unasked.

His cursor quickly found it's way to the play button, his finger hovering over the mouse pad to click.

It hung for a moment.

Two moments.

Three.

Four.

Six.

Ten.

Get on with it, Blaine his internal Wevid shouted (Yes, Blaine was very disturbed about the fact that he had his friends voices in his head acting as a sort of twisted Jiminy Cricket, thanks for asking.) He tried to listen to them. He really did.

But what was he really getting into?

What happened if he watched this video and was right? If Kurt was uncomfortable because of his bullying, what could Blaine really do about it? Wouldn't knowing that Blaine knew only embarrass Kurt further?

Heck, what if he was wrong? What if this video was 'Push It' 2.0?

Blaine shivered (he absolutely refused to call it a tremble) at those thoughts. He didn't even have to close his eyes to see those moves again.

And all his thoughts of those moves came rushing back.

Where in the world had those come from? He'd never seen Kurt like that before. What was he going to do when the pale boy returned on Monday? Blaine's brain had been a babbling mess after a video of Kurt. How was he going to handle the real Kurt Hummel? Blaine thought their friendship was struggling before, what was he going to do if he started thinking about Kurt like that?

Blaine quickly shook himself. This was silly. He was being ridiculous.

So, he now had an appreciation for Kurt's more sultry side. So what? He could appreciate a beautiful girl without it meaning anything. It was an aesthetic matter, that's all.

It wasn't as if Kurt had been hideous to him before. (Quite the opposite in fact)

Kurt was attractive. Blaine had always thought so. Friendship didn't blind him to this. Loss of vision couldn't blind Blaine to this. It was a simple fact: Kurt was good-looking, beautiful even (Shut up, Wevid). Even without his outlandish outfits (which Kurt knew how to use perfectly and imaginatively for every occasion, never failing to blow Blaine away), the pale boy was very striking. Just because Blaine was Kurt's friend, that didn't mean he wasn't conscious of this.

Gorgeous blue (though he swears they range from grey like storm clouds to sky blue to emerald green and back again, never settling on just one shade) eyes. Perfect hair that, even lacking product, never appeared to be anything but soft, luscious, and always in place. Flawless marble skin. Features so unique in their elegant masculinity.

Friends could notice those things about each other. Right? Right. (right?)

Besides, he had just been caught off guard. Maybe it was because Kurt looked so young. It almost made him a different person. Once it was his Kurt, his thoughts would become those more categorized as the ones about friends (they just had to).

Reassured (mildly) Blaine finally pressed played.

There was a line of brass instruments, their fanfare blasting their sound, deafening all who listen to anything else.

A marching band?

Drums joined in, the players shifting seamlessly in an almost military march across the auditorium floor

Drum line? A school gym?

This was weird. Where was the stage? Where was the glee club? What's going on?

Beautiful girls in matching red and white uniforms come out in two lines, hands on their hips, walking in a way to accentuate their lovely legs.

Oh no. Nope. No way. He had obviously clicked on the wrong video.

Blaine had most definitely not signed up for cheerleaders. The opposite of many teenage boys, Blaine was rather annoyed by cheerleaders. With almost all straight friends, he had sat through many a pep rally and had to tolerate many hours of ogling short skirts and he just did not see the appeal.

He had been promised Kurt and he was not going to sit through a video that did not fulfill this promise.

"Hey"

Blaine was briefly distracted from clicking the back button by this familiar voice.

When had Mercedes ever been a cheerleader? Surely Kurt would have mentioned…

"Come on
Kurt Hummel"

What?

"Come on girl
I've been waiting for somebody to pick up my stroll"
Alongside Mercedes, both in cheerio uniforms, Kurt came down the floor, strutting confidently toward the audience.

Kurt? A… a cheerleader?

And… Sweet god… His voice.

So low… rough… So very male…

Hot.

Kurt dropped into a sudden squat, letting a forceful little exhale.
"Uh!"

Blaine swallowed thickly, trying (unsuccessfully) to prepare himself for what he was about to see (somehow hitting the pause button never occurred to him. He might not have seen it as his eyes were glued to a certain brunette).

Kurt and Mercedes were now in the forefront, swaying to the music.

In a valiant effort to keep control, Blaine made a promise to himself.

Eyes above the waist.

He'd learned his lesson during 'Push It'. If he didn't look at those (amazing/delicious/tantalizing/STOP IT!) hips, he should be able to keep his wits.

"Well don't waste time
Give me the sign
Tell me how you want to roll"

Officially, WMHS was the most attractive group of letters in the history of the written language. But, really, any sort of print would be pleasing if it were stretched across that chest.

A red band, nondescript and fuzzy, was drool worthy on those arms.

So much for above-the-waist salvation.

The cheerleaders joined Kurt and Mercedes as they began to dance.

Blaine's breath hitched. As previously stated, Blaine had been to many pep rallies in his days.

He knew exactly the kinds of moves cheerleaders did.

Suddenly, his throat and mouth felt very dry.

"I want somebody
To speed it up for me"

Oh jeez…

Screw "hot". Kurt's voice was like SEX.

Whoa… ok, Blaine was definitely crossing a line here, aesthetics or not.

"Then take it down slow"

But man, even his shoulders, when he moved them like that, sinking lower and…

No! Kurt was his friend.

Kurt was someone who mattered in Blaine's life, not merely a body for Blaine to undress with his eyes.

"There's enough room for both"

The cheerleaders were in focus now so Blaine had a moment to breathe properly (why hadn't he noticed he had stopped doing so?)

"Well I can handle that
You just gotta show me where it's at"

He had to get it together. Cheerleading uniform or not, it was still Kurt

"Are you ready to go
Are you ready to go"
The cheerleaders, Mercedes, and Kurt had gathered in the center of the floor. Kurt and Mercedes rose from their kneeling position.

Kurt, whose range was more than anyone ever, gave him credit for.

"If you want it
You already got it"
All the performers did a cycle motion with their ribs and shoulders, hips rotating in the same direction

Kurt, who took a move Blaine had seen over a dozen times and made him see it as truly alluring as it was meant to be.

Oh boy. It was time to get off this train, Anderson.

He couldn't do this to Kurt.

"If you thought it
It better be what you want"

And he didn't want this. All he wanted was the relationship he and Kurt used to have. That ease that came with knowing each other so well, spending time together for no reason but simply because silence was better in the other's presence, talking about absolutely everything, that pure happiness that bubbled in his chest only when he was with Kurt, that smile Kurt wore only when he looked at Blaine. That was what he truly wanted.

To entertain thoughts that suggested otherwise was unfair (almost cruel) to Kurt.

He had to stop this.

"Time is waiting
We only got four minutes to save the world"

Stop wondering if Kurt still has that uniform.

"No hesitating
Grab a boy
Grab a girl"

Stop thinking that everyone else can grab whoever the hell they want as long as they keep their hands off Kurt (stop looking at Kurt and wanting to say mine)

"Time is waiting
We only got four minutes to save the world
No hesitating"
Back to back, Mercedes stood while Kurt shimmied to the floor.

Stop wishing he could be Mercedes and feel Kurt slide down his body.

"Tick tok
Tick tok
Tick tok"
Half of the girls stood, swinging their hips, making their skirts fly, on each word.

Stop being angry with the AV club for cutting to the other cheerleaders so often.

The girls all gathered in the center, leaning their shoulders back, their lower halves pumping into the air.

Stop wondering if, had the camera pulled back far enough, he could have seen Kurt thrusting like that.

"Tick tok
Tick tok
Tick tok"

Stop staring at Kurt's finishing pose, marveling at his strong body, muscles still taught from performing, chest heaving with his deep pants, a light sheen of sweat making him practically glisten…

Stop those kinds of tangents.

Stop that surge of anger at Mercedes glancing at Kurt, with gob smacked admiration and a hint of attraction as her eyes roam his profile.

Stop feeling that twist in his gut that wants Kurt in this room right now.

Stop everything that isn't focused on watching these videos for the sole purpose of helping Kurt perform 'Animal' next Tuesday.

Stop wondering how he'll feel if he sees Kurt perform 'Animal' with even a fraction of the presence he has in these numbers.

Stop being so excited about it.

Stop. Stop. STOP!

Blaine doesn't even bother to let the video finish playing the applause the performance earned. He didn't look for any of the comments below.

Adrenaline from his internal rant (most definitely NOT from Kurt's singing/dancing/body/existence), he clicks on the channel's homepage, scrolls through the videos by date, looking for the most recent.

He's going to watch the last video Kurt did before transferring to Dalton and he's going to find his baby penguin again and he's going to find a way to help him and he's going to be the best damn friend Kurt Hummel has ever had and everything else is banished from his mind until he accomplishes this task.

This type of mind set meant that Blaine was not going to look at the title of this video or it's description. He just clicked and made it full screen, efficiently putting up his blinders to anything else that wasn't his computer screen.

With such singular focus, Blaine didn't notice that he had also banished any filters from his mind. Whatever he thinks of this next video will be uninterrupted commentary, his first knee-jerk reaction, his instinctual feelings. And he would have to face such feelings after the video was done, regardless of wanting them or not. There would be no stopping this time.

Single Ladies – NEW AND IMPROVED

This rash oversight would be the undoing of Blaine Anderson.


All in favor of watching Blaine come undone?