Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"Summons/Demon speaking"

'Summons/Demon thinking'

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews and be sure to keep em coming. Also I have been asked that Naruto be left alone, as in no pairings. However, I have also been asked that he be paired with someone, just not a pairing you usually see. ( Naru/Hina Naru/Saku etc.). So send in some opinions on that and we'll see what happens. Now lets keep this show going.

Gaara no Sabaku, jinchuuriki of the Ichibi, a man who had only been defeated once before, was now in an epic battle with the bane of kages and leaders everywhere… paperwork.

The young Kazekage was doing paperwork once more with a calm face, apparently unconcerned with the mountain of documents in front of him. Inwardly though he was cursing humanity for ever even thinking of creating so much damn paper. The red head desperately needed a break, but there seemed to be no way out of doing the damned requirement of reading, stamping and signing.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and while the knock itself wasn't anything more than a simple rap of flesh on wood, to Gaara it sounded like the melody of salvation. "Enter," called out the young man, trying not to sound too relieved or happy, after all he had the reputation of an emotionless badass to keep up.

The door opened to reveal none other than Naruto Uzumaki, "Hey Gaara! How's the sand?" asked the blonde with a toothy grin. Gaara smiled at his friend's boisterous attitude.

"Hello Naruto, the sand is fine, but how are you? I haven't seen you in what? Three, six months?" inquired Gaara.

Naruto smiled at that. Ever since he left Konoha, Gaara had always welcomed him with open arms and a place to stay. He'd pop in every now and then to see how things were and to throw off the Konoha retrieval teams. During those stays Naruto and Gaara had become something akin to brothers.

"I'm fine, just decided to pop in here for a while to throw the leaf off my trail," Naruto said nonchalantly.

Gaara nodded at that, "Right then. I'm going to assume you want your regular room?" asked the redhead. Naruto nodded at that and made himself comfy in one of the chairs in the office.

"By the way Gaara I have some news," Naruto said suddenly serious. "Akatsuki has finally started to mobilize and I'm sure they're going to try and attack you first," Gaara widened his eyes a bit at that. He knew the Akatsuki were planning on gathering the bijuu from the jinchuuriki but he always assumed they would go after the easier to capture ones first, not one who was a Kage.

"What makes you say this Naruto?" Gaara asked in a monotone. He trusted Naruto's information right down to the punctuation marks because so far it hadn't led him astray yet. 'An advantage to being a master of Suijutsu is that you're always surrounded by the loose tongues of gossipers and drunks alike' the young kage thought with a wistful note. Besides it was thanks to Naruto that he could sleep again, not only had the blonde fixed his seal but he had also added another seal that would sedate Shukaku should he become too unruly. The second seal would wear off when the demonic tanuki's mind settled. It also made it much easier for Gaara to control the Bijuu's chakra.

"From what I understand, the only thing that can hold all nine bijuu is something called the 'King of Hell', a summons or artifact of some kind. Kyuubi told me that each bijuu must be sealed in numerical order otherwise they would simply escape back into the world," Naruto explained. "Also I've got more information on the members and very possibly who will come after you,"

Gaara leaned forward on his desk, hands clasped firmly in front of him. "What are their names?" he demanded now all business.

Naruto smirked at his fellow demon container, "We already know that Itachi and Kisame are ordered to go after me, leaving seven people to come after you, but I think one of them is nothing more than a scout, leaving six people," Naruto said, "The two that I believe are coming here will most likely be able to take on multiple foes at once and have some knowledge of Suna. So, from my known list of the members, I can safely say that Sasori will come here with his partner Deidara, a master of explosives," here Naruto paused and gave him a serious glare, "The reason I believe it is them is because Sasori is from Suna so he knows the lay of the land, also his puppets and poison will easily take care of any shinobi that may follow them. Deidara's explosives will also cause large amounts of damage and its capable of taking out large groups as well. Also I doubt even your sand can handle barrage after barrage of bombs," finished the blonde.

"When will they be here?" Gaara asked. Naruto sighed at that and took a drink from his flask. "That's the thing Gaara, I only know that those two are the most likely to come after you, other than that I have no idea when they'll strike. It could be days, weeks, maybe even a year before they finally attack and even then I'm not sure the Akatsuki realize they have to capture the jinchuuriki in order, so for all I know, I'm just screaming wolf." Naruto said in an exasperated tone. The thing about drunks and gossips is that it was hard to discern truth from lies, though a drunk man was more likely to tell the truth then a lie, but even then, drunken men's tongues were often ignored for they only spewed nonsense most of the time. Still he had learned a while ago that information was a powerful thing and you should never disregard anything because it sounds stupid.

Gaara sighed at that, "So is there anything else I should know about? He asked almost fearing more bad news.

Naruto closed his eyes in thought for a minute or so, "Not really, but Orochimaru should be looking to switch bodies soon and I'm sure he'll go after the Uchiha once again so be prepared if Konoha calls for help, other than that, I've got nothing except the clothes on my back and the alcohol both in and on my person," Naruto finished with a grin.

Gaara had to resist rolling his eyes at that last statement and just settled for a small smile. "Thanks Naruto I'll be sure to relay the information to my shinobi and Konoha," Gaara said while shuffling some papers on his desk. "So what do you plan on doing now?" Gaara asked nonchalantly.

Naruto shrugged at the redhead and leaned back in his chair. "I'll probably just go to the bar for a bit then hit the hot springs for some R and R until Konoha starts searching wind country for me, then I'm off," Naruto replied with a carefree attitude. Inwardly though, Naruto's heart ached to stay in one place, to find a place he could call home other than the bars. His eye had a bit of a longing look in it but he immediately replaced it with his usual grin that caused his eyes to close. "Well I'll be heading out then, beers to drink, training to do," Naruto stated as he got up and walked towards the door.

"You know my offer still stands," Gaara said as he stared at the departing man with a calculating stare.

The blonde hesitated for a moment with his hand on the door. He sighed as he turned one blue eye to the red head. "I appreciate it but I just can't be a Suna ninja right now, maybe when things have calmed down a bit I'll take it but right now," the blonde paused and turned away, "Its just too chaotic," he finished. Without another word the nuke-nin left.

Gaara closed his eyes and sighed through his nose. 'When will he let go of his past?' asked the red head mentally. Three years Gaara watched the blonde try to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Three years, he watched him isolate himself further and further, his only company being the tanuki he summons. The old Naruto was gone, leaving behind this tired husk. Something needed to happen to reignite the flames of passion the blonde once held. The redhead knew they were there by the fact that he went around gathering information to keep his friends safe, but the flames were small. Naruto needed to get involved, but he kept saying it wasn't his problem.

Sighing, the young Kazekage wet back to work, wondering just what it would take for the old Naruto to return. Unbeknownst to both jinchuurikis, two robed figures, one hunchbacked and the other tall, were heading towards Suna. The most distinguishing feature about both were the red clouds on their pitch-black cloaks.

Later that night, at a hotspring

Naruto sighed in content as he slipped into the warm refreshing waters, flask in hand and cheeks all ready red from alcohol. 'Now this is what the doctor ordered' thought the blonde with a drunken smirk. However his smirk died when he felt the village shake from a very large explosion. Alarmed, the blonde leapt out of the water and quickly put on his clothes. Once he was fully clothed, the blonde leapt out of the fenced off springs to behold a sight he though he would never see.

There in the sky was Gaara on a floating cloud of sand, fighting against a woman in black cloak with red clouds on it, with hairstyle that had a bang of her blonde hair covering her left eye. The blonde also noticed that she had a slashed Iwa headband, the sign of a nuke-nin. The female was flying around on a large white bird like creature while throwing smaller clay sculptures at the red head, all of them exploding in an admittedly glorious fashion. Sighing, Naruto did some hand seals before biting his thumb and slamming it on the ground. With a bang, a cloud of smoke appeared only to evaporate to reveal a black and brown tanuki with the kanji for up written on his rather rotund belly, along with a green vest and red Chinese peasant hat. He also had a pipe in his mouth and was the size of small dog.

"Hey Jou-shi! (boss) whats the word?" asked the tanuki in a happy voice, it eyes shut with a toothy smile on its face.

"Gaara needs help and the battle is taking place in the air, got any of your special brew Sora?" Naruto asked the tanuki.

Said creature chuckled before pulling out a jug from seemingly nowhere. "You know it! So you flyin solo, or am I drinkin?" asked Sora.

"You drink, I'll fight and fly," Naruto informed the creature with a smirk. Chuckling, the tanuki jumped onto the blonde's head and wrapped his tail around the blonde before he took a giant swig from his jug. Being sure to latch on with chakra, Naruto and Sora flew into the air thanks to the tanuki's 'light beer'.

Gaara sent another sand wave at his enemy, hoping to catch the man before he could do some more damage to the village. Suppressing a growl, Gaara directed his sand to avoid another volley of those strange exploding clay birds. 'This is getting no where, I need to end this!' thought the Kazekage. Gathering some sand in front of him Gaara whispered, "Suna Shuriken," and with that, the sand in front of him launched towards the blonde male, the sand changing into the form of the infamous four-pointed star. Cursing, the blonde man leapt off his bird, as the shuriken shredded it to bits before throwing out another of his creations. The clay object poofed before forming an owl the size of a horse.

Heading to land on the clay bird, the blonde was surprised when a fist came out of nowhere and slammed into his jaw sending him flying. The black robed man would have died if not for his bird saving him. Growling the blonde looked to see some blonde kid with a raccoon on his head floating in front of him, "What the hell un? Can't you see I'm trying to create art here!" shouted the man.

Naruto blinked before realization dawned on him, "Holy shit it's a dude!" Naruto yelled, causing everyone who heard to sweatdrop.

"Of course I'm a guy! Now who are you and what are you doing interrupting Deidara's art, un?" asked the man now revealed to be Deidara.

"I'm an alcoholic who was trying to relax before your cross dressing ass started blowing up the place!" Naruto shouted while doing some hand seals. Taking a deep breath, Naruto spat out a fireball at the man with a cry of "Fireball Jutsu!"

Deidara dodged the fireball, before cursing as another wave of sand came at him. Thinking quickly Deidara sent another explosive sculpture at the sand, the explosion effectively scattering the sand.

'Dammit! I need to do something! The jinchuuriki is bad enough but with this guy, I'm screwed!' thought Deidara. Dodging yet another wave of sand and sending some of his explosives at Naruto, Deidara slowly started to form a plan. With an evil grin, he leapt at Gaara, surprised the redhead had no time to react as Deidara slammed an open palm to the sand jinchuuriki's stomach. Gasping slightly, the red head backhanded the Akatsuki member away. Deidara smirked; his plan was starting to work now to deal with-

"Drunken Wind style: Drunken Whirlwind!" roared Naruto before he started spinning. Soon, the blonde had become a human hurricane before slamming straight into Deidara. Surprised the bomber tried to use his clay but found that he was completely at the mercy of Naruto's whirlwind. Struggling, Deidara managed to latch onto Naruto's arm for a second before said blonde abruptly stopped spinning, sending the feminine looking man crashing into one of the many sandstone buildings.

"Sheesh, warn me next time you do that," Sora told his summoner. His words fell on deaf ears however due to the fact that Naruto was currently trying to regain his balance. "Drunken techniques, powerful but they will fuck you up," Sora sighed as Naruto's eyes finally stopped spinning in their sockets.

"Kami I hate using drunken wind style," Naruto moaned.

"At least you didn't vomit or pass out," Sora supplied. Before he could reply, a sudden bang from behind him caused the blonde to turn around in horror. He watched in horror as from the giant smoke cloud created from the bomb descended Gaara, like an angel cast from heaven.

"GAARA!" Naruto screamed, quickly the blonde sped towards his friend only to start screaming in agony as an explosion ripped through his back, dispelling Sora and causing Naruto to fall. With unbelieving eyes, the blonde watched as Deidara appeared on some white pelican that proceeded to swallow the Kazekage and fly off. The world darkened for Naruto as he watched the image of Deidara fly off, the Uzumaki finally fell into unconsciousness when his body finally hit the ground with a sickening crunch.

With Deidara

The blonde bomber grinned I n satisfaction as he made his escape with the Ichibi jinchuuriki. He patted himself on the back for placing those spider bombs on the two fighters. The first time was when he had slammed a palm into the red head, ejecting the bombs through the mouths on his hands and the second time when he had latched onto the arm of Naruto before he was sent flying into that building. 'Gotta admit, that was one hell of an attack' thought Deidara. That whirlwind hadn't just sent him flying but it had also put hundreds of miniscule cuts on his body, all of them over arteries, capillaries and veins. Deidara counted himself lucky that he had managed to protect himself with a coating of his clay acting like armor. Seeing his partner, Deidara landed and faced a hunchbacked man in the same cloak as him with a mask over his lower face.

"Do you have the target?" asked the hunchback.

"Hai, Sasori-sempai" Deidara replied. The hunchback nodded before starting to walk away. As they walked, Deidara formed a tiger handsign and said one word. "Katsu!" with that, the gates leading into Suna exploded, crushing any pursuing ninja and blocking off any more from following ninja. "Arts a blast," commented the blonde.

"Feh, your explosions are not art," Sasori growled, never stopping his gait.

"It is art! Art is something that is seen only for a glorious instant before its gone forever!" Deidara argued.

"Hold it right there!" shouted a voice, causing both missing nin to halt. Turning they beheld A boy in an all black outfit, fingerless gloves, black sandals, a hood that resembled a cat somewhat and purple war paint. On his back were three scrolls and by the look in his dark eyes, the two criminals knew they weren't leaving without a fight.

"Move boy, we are on a schedule and you're impeding it," Sasori growled. "If you do not move," here he paused as a giant segmented white scorpion tail appeared from under his robe behind him, "I will be forced to remove you!" threatened the hunchbacked ninja.

Kankuro smirked at this, "Big words but you'll never even touch me," bragged the Suna ninja, with that, he removed the scrolls from his back and summoned forth three puppets. One was a giant salamander, another was a humanoid shape but had six arms, large red horns, three eyes and a barrel shaped body, the last puppet was also humanoid with three eyes but had four arms and very jagged teeth along with spiky brown afro. "Lets go, Karasu," the spiky haired one clattered in response, "Kuroari," the barrel-chested one came to life, "Sanshouo!" the salamander then clattered to life. All three puppets clacked in preparation for battle, their wielder smirking confidently while his hands were held out, strings of chakra connected to his weapons.

Sasori just snorted before attacking with his tail, seeing the incoming danger, Kankuro activated Sanshouo's shield, confident that the tail wouldn't be able to penetrate. Imagine his surprise when the tail twisted and slammed into the joints of Sanshouo, removing the shield and causing the puppet to fall apart.

Snarling, Kankuro sent out Karasu and Kuroari to attack Sasori, but once again the tail came forward and attacked the joints of both puppets, disabling the puppets easily. Surprised Kankuro could only watch in shock, as his puppets were defeated so easily.

"I had heard somebody was using my old puppets and I can see that my art was wasted in being passed down to you," Sasori commented, his tail idly gesturing towards a mark on the back of Karasu's head, a scorpion inside of a diamond. "The thing about puppets is that they are incredibly weak in regards to their joints, you had the misfortune of not only fighting another puppet user, but the best puppet user known to man!" proclaimed the hunchback. With that, Sasori plunged his tail once more at the black clad ninja.

Thinking quickly, Kankuro barely avoided the tail, the tip grazing his right arm, and sent a chakra string to Karasu's head. The puppet head sprang to life and attempted to bite Sasori, but only managed in ripping some cloth off of the puppet user's red cloud cloak. Before Kankuro could try again he started to feel dizzy, groaning the chuunin tried to stay standing but ended up on all fours, his breaths becoming ragged.

"What the hell?" Kankuro gasped, his vision starting to fade and swirl. Suddenly the answer hit the boy all too easily. "Poison," he gasped.

"Goodbye boy, we will not meet again," Sasori told him. With that, the Akatsuki members left Kankuro to die in the desert. Desperately, Kankuro flared out as much chakra as he could before succumbing to the land of the unconscious. Not long after Kankuro fell unconscious, a certain drunken shinobi appeared, though his trench coat was pretty much gone and his back was covered in ash and dried blood.

"Kit, you really shouldn't be moving right now, a wrong move and your spine could snap!" Kyuubi told his vessel. It was true, that explosion had fractured a lot of the vertebrae in his spine, if it wasn't for his demonic healing factor and some special liquors that helped heal the body, Naruto would probably be dead.
'No time we, need to get Kankuro back to the hospital then head after Gaara,' Naruto replied to his tenant while picking up the puppet boy and sealing away his weapons.

"Do you really think you can beat those two on your own?" Kyuubi questioned.

'I'll get some Suna shinobi to come help me after dropping off Kankuro at the hospital' Naruto told him.

"You know as well as I do that there is no way Suna can afford to send any ninja and you know for a fact that Suna won't be able to get rid of that poison. I can smell it from here and no medic in Suna is skilled enough to extract it!" Kyuubi reprimanded the blonde.

'Then what do you suggest we do?' questioned the blonde. There was silence before what the fox was implying started to dawn on the blonde. 'NO! HELL NO! I will NOT go to THEM for help!' roared the blonde mentally. 'I've avoided them for three years and I REFUSE to get involved in the ninja business again!' Naruto would have gone on but the Kyuubi stopped him.

"YOU WILL BE SILENT!" roared the trapped demon, "You WILL put aside your problems with Konoha and you WILL get their help to save Gaara!" ordered the fox. "If you do not then this boy will die as will Gaara! If that happens, Akatsuki gets one step closer to their goal and you lose one of the few friends you have!" Kyuubi yelled.

Naruto grit his teeth in anger as he reentered Suna before handing Kankuro off to some medics. 'And what if I just went and got Gaara by myself? I could easily beat those two with your help and the tanukis' Naruto bargained.

"Then Kankuro dies, do you really want that on your conscience? A death of a friend when you could have easily prevented it?' asked the Kyuubi heatedly. Naruto didn't respond just clenched his fists in anger as his teeth started to grind against each other. Sighing in frustration the blonde let a sad smile appear on his face.

'Fine, lets go give the assholes a visit' Naruto replied dryly. With that, the blonde left the village on route to his childhood hell. 'And the demon returns to Konoha' thought the blonde morbidly.

A/N: Done. Ok just to tell you this story won't be updated to frequently, in fact, expect a lot of wait time with this mostly because it's a side project, not one of my main stories. That said, please read and review!