Summary: Blaine seeks help in a 7 day book plan that offers him full satisfaction for a good love life. Never has he stooped to such an abnormal level of guidance to help with any problem. Read how one book full of deception and false information can change the relationship of Blaine and Kurt for the worst.
Author's Note: You get a glimpse of the insane information a book gives to Blaine. It's up to him to decide if they information is too much or just what he needs to fix his relationship.
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and Fox, not me!
Romanticize Me
Chapter Three:
Blaine sat on the floor of his bedroom against the foot of his bed. He read the back of the book:
You're about to read a book that will help you with your love life, your sex life, your life life, and all the things that come with having a life. If you dare read this exciting, classical book with a gay twist, please purchase your copy today!
He thought since he's already bought it and didn't want to go back to return it knowing that Riley was still the owner of the damn book store, he just opened the plastic cover. Inside fell small bits of sparkle and a key. He inserted the key into the lock and turned. Click.
He opened the front cover and saw the title of the book. Romanticize Me. He began to read:
INTRODUCTION:
Welcome to Romanticize Me, with a gay twist! In this love-filled book you will read the true meaning of Romance, completed with real situations and real scenarios of people in the same romantic predicaments you may happen to be in. This book will guide you in 7 easy steps in 7 days to prepare you for the most important journey of your life: Romance! Let this book help you and your partner have full satisfaction of your romantic life! You will soon have a complete and stable sex life with your partner!
With all the catchy sentences and the overdone wording, it drew Blaine in. He couldn't wait to get the sex life he'd dreamed of. This book was promising the world and he couldn't put it down.
Here is a statement: "Women are naturally born with the definition of romance. Men are not. Even though there is no true definition of romance, women are prone to have a pretty good idea of what it is. Men are not."
Do you agree with the above statement?
Blaine hates question and answer books, but he kept reading. The book must get better along the way. "Yes."
If you've answered "Yes.", then you have a bit of a problem and it's recommended that you keep reading. If you have answered "No.", then continue reading this 7 day tutorial on getting the life you've always wanted! By you continuing to read, we can insure that you will know everything you need to have the perfect romantic encounter with your partner.
Keep in mind, as you read, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.
If you've reached this point in the book and are already confused, we recommend you buy our previous issue: Romanticize Me: Understanding Romance.
Romance isn't easy. It's different for every person. One might simply be enticed by a few words, but others might need to be swayed by being given intrinsic, cute items such as flowers and/or chocolates.
Blaine flipped the page and adjusted himself in the floor.
CHAPTER 1: Day One: Seduce Your Moose
Most people can easily mistake seduction as a way to get someone into bed, but this isn't correct, is it? Granted, seduction is the way to entice and sway someone to be with you in a state of sexual arousal, that doesn't mean you can't do it non-sexually. It's not all about the naked, physical attraction. It's also about social skills. When you communicate with a partner you find the strength of attraction from what you have in common. This is why the word chemistry works so well when talking about relationships and human interactions.
He stopped reading. This information he'd spent half an hour soaking up, rereading every paragraph, was all bubbling in his head. How could he not have thought that he needed to have better "social skills." The book had simply stated that he talk to Kurt more. Blaine picked up his phone and dialed his boyfriend's number.
"Kurt?"
"Yes, Blaine?"
"I, um, what are you doing?"
"Rachel is on the other line, she's totally not believing me about her mother!"
He slugged his shoulders. He picked up the book and placed it on his bed and he sat next to the book. "What do you need Kurt?"
"Uh, Blaine, you called me!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, yes. I just feel like we should talk more."
"Can we do that later? I'm kind of busy, okay?"
"Yes, sure."
Seduction should be the yin to your yang. Without it, something would feel off. Often times, people can be very misleading with the signs they send to their partner, so it's wise you keep your communication skills to your full potential.
He'll work on it sooner or later.
To help you understand this more fully, we are going to compare this situation to an online dating profile.
Blaine flipped the page and saw a diagram. It was showing to dating profile images. Each image had the same photo, but one had false information.
Can you guess which one had the false information? No, you can't! Because this is how simple it is to mistake a profile with false information! People can easily give you their own information and put a nice, hot picture of a model on it. Or, they can show their own picture, but say they love long walks on the beach. But, did it ever occur to you that you might need to know a little more than what they look like and what they like to do?
Basically, false information can send the wrong signal, because eventually, you'd meet in person. Not only has that person set themselves up for an inevitable fate of a not-so-good-situation, but they've given false information and that's just not cool! Always keep your communication skills good by staying honest. It's the only way!
As of right now, we'd like to remind you that if you're having trouble with your communication skills that you can buy one of our previous books in the Romanticize Me Series. Romanticize Me: Communication Skills for the Soul!
In Chapter 1, we will be suggesting you to plan a meal for your loved one. This will totally get your communication skills in check! We'll call it Sunday of Seducing! You wouldn't have much experience if you didn't have the chance to work on it with a hands on project!
While you are planning your perfect date read an insert from one of our previous books: 7 Steps to Finding a Partner: Gay Men Edition:
Many gay men enjoy there nights spent clubbing with friends and/or lovers. It may not be the most productive way to get a someone, but people deserve to have fun when choosing a mate! As stereotypical it might be that only gay men enjoy clubbing at the local gay bar, you must also know that everyone is different. So, in fact, no everyone enjoys those types of venues. That's okay, too! To understand what kind of partner you need in your life, refer to the following list:
The Twinks-A.K.A. 'The Freshman of LGTB' (Type of gay that is rarely over age 30. Always has a great smile and may still be getting over their 'coming out'. Some people associate 'Twinks' with blonde hair. Many of this type may like Drama/Arts, partying, and Fashion.)
The Bear-A.K.A. 'A Sense of Masculinity' (These types of gays are associated with heavy-set bodies with hairy and muscular features. Some tend to be over-weight as a condition in the form of self-acceptance. 'Bears' enjoy food and playing video games. This type of gay may be associated with an old age, perhaps over 30.)
The Gay Jocks-A.K.A. 'I'm gay and Athletic!' (This type takes pride in himself on the fact that no one thinks he is gay. They don't stand out, unless they want to. The most convenient cover up would be sports. They are known for talking tough and acting straight just for fun. They may be associated with playing tough sports, such as football, soccer, and rugby.)
The Circuit Gays-A.K.A. 'Parties, Sex and Drugs' (Unfortunately, this type is associated with drugs and parties. They are often related to have buff, shaved bodies. They attend several parties, no matter the cost. This term is often used as a negative connotation.
The gAy Listers-A.K.A. 'A Gay A-Lister' (Personal trainers for a hot body and the perfect hair done by the hottest stylist in town. They live a good and privileged life, often making good money because they have an A-List job. They may not have time for lower class people.)
Blaine stops reading to the sound of foot step near his door. He quickly memorizes the page number he's on and throws the book under his bed and picks up his phone and starts to mumble into it. "Yea, it's okay, I totally understand, yep that's okay, talk to you later, bye!" He didn't want to be flaunting a pink and sparkling book filled with gay sexy things for his dad to see. Him having gay relationship problems was the last thing he needed to talk to his father about, no matter how accepting he was!
"Blaine, who were you talking to?" Mr. Anderson, aware of his son being gay, rarely brings up Kurt.
"Uh, just someone from school. What do you need?"
"Your mom had to work late, so she sent me to the store. Come help me bring the groceries in."
The men walked outside to his father's car. Blaine found that his dad had not only gone shopping, but had bought the whole store. "Dad, why are there so many groceries?"
"Your mother wasn't clear on what to get, so I just bought a little of everything. They spent the next twenty minutes unloading bags from the car and getting them put away. He reached into one of the bag and pulled out a tiny jar of orange mush. "Dad, why did you buy baby food? This is carrots…for babies."
Both hadn't stopped laughing after finding several more cans of baby food, a box of tampons. Condoms were the next thing to come out of the bag. The laughter stopped. The silence had slowly started to kill Blaine inside. Why would they stop laughing, why would everything be so funny but this? To make things worse, Blaine's father simply opens the box and pulls a few condoms from it. "Son, here, you should always stay protected." If only Blaine could share the awkwardness he was feeling with the entire world…
