Sometimes the winds are weak and that's always horrified me. It was almost as if the false god that everyone loved so much was pausing to plan out a miserable trial of torment. But I don't believe in god even after encountering one. After all, aren't the agonizing screams from those who have passed left unanswered, unfulfilled? If the idolized version of god really does exist then it must be an incredibly egotistical being that seeks eternal gratification from watching us cry…cry…cry. Am I Touma Kamijou so wrong for thinking that?
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We live in such a deranged world of smiles. I, Touma Kamijou, have always thought that for the brief time I've been alive. Hypocrisy, superiority and inferiority are unconsciously at the forefront of everyone's minds. Amidst the chaotic upheaval society, certain norms and trends must be adhered to for the sake of falsified relationships. Is it wrong of me to escape that endless cycle of treacherous greed and deception? Maybe in the eyes of others, my life is too boring for words since I run away from those selfishly established notions. But I don't really care since what's the point? Following those constantly fluctuating rules and beliefs just wastes time and money.
…Wait, what the hell I am I thinking about?
When I realized the gravity of my current predicament, my mind instinctively meandered in unsystematic guidelines.
This situation, why was it so disturbingly familiar?
I've negated the power of crosses and crucifixion before haven't I? No, wait maybe I'm remembering wrong. Maybe the Phases have tampered with my own sense of reality again.
Imagine Breaker isn't responding. Is this natural and not supernatural at all then?
…I don't know what's going on. Why the hell can't my life make any sense?!
The chanting from the nuns below me became echoed as if I were distant and in a cavern of some sort. Was I seeing correctly or have my senses been fooled with?
Why is it that I can see clearly them yet their seemingly loud chanting is almost silent?
Since the sight facing me defied common sense, I closed my eyes and tried to relax my agonized and horrified nerves. Yet, that too was defiled like my own lost innocence.
I felt a stabbing sensation and my eyes opened due to instinctual reaction. However, nothing was noticeably different. What was going on?
I scanned the room once again and suddenly a voice from above was yelling.
I couldn't tell what they were saying but it was a vaguely familiar female voice.
There was a crack in the ceiling and as I looked up, the sun rose in the star filled night sky.
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"Ah!" I screamed as I lifted my head.
"H-he's a-awake…!" A voice to the left of me exclaimed.
I quickly realized that I was in a bed. Does that mean that everything just now was a dream? If that's the case then, which parts were the dream?
To the left of me was Sister Angelene who I haven't seen in what feels like years. Sister Lucia stood next to her as well.
This scenery seems oddly familiar…
"Wow, I'm not sure if I should be surprised or relieved." Sister Lucia started. "After we knocked you out, you've been unconscious for almost a week."
"A week?!" I shouted in alarm. What the hell was Index going to do to me?!
"Yes. That is rather shocking isn't it? We didn't even strike your head hard enough to warrant that type of long sustaining injury." Sister Lucia explained.
"A-are you okay?" Sister Angelene asked me in a cutely concerned voice.
I ignored her though. Something about her tone of voice… irritated me.
"Where am I?" I asked instead.
"England, base of Necessarius." Sister Lucia answered immediately.
"What?! Why the hell am I here?"
"Don't shout. It's the middle of night." Sister Lucia advised. "And you needn't look so concerned. You're only here for your own safety after all."
I gave her an inquisitive look.
"My own safety? What, do you expect me to develop Stockholm Syndrome?" I inquired in an half-joking manner.
"Surely you can at least infer a guess Touma Kamijou." Sister Lucia said stoically. "The reality of your current situation isn't at all farfetched. In fact, I would even say that it's something that both parties completely expected."
I sighed in annoyance.
"Can you try making sense please? You can't just kidnap someone and expect them to be compliant to vague reasoning." I retorted.
"…Fair enough." Sister Lucia responded. "However, you will get answers tomorrow. It's far too late for this right now."
I looked at a nearby clock. It was 2:46 AM.
"Alright then." I laid back down and closed my eyes.
After an eerie silence, the Sister Lucia and Sister Angelene left the room.
"What bullshit…" I muttered.
Wait. I really have to watch my attitude. I feel like I've been way too irritable lately.
I can't fall back asleep though. Not now. According to them, I've been asleep for a week.
No. I have to find a way to get out of here and get back to Academy City. I don't belong here. I want to be home. I want a break from all of this.
I got up and examined my surroundings. The room itself is plain, criminally dull. That doesn't matter though.
There was a window leading to the outside… screw it. I'll go for it.
I started to walk towards it before the door to the room I resided in opened.
Panicking, I turned around but my hand was still on the window.
"T-Touma Kamijou?! What are you doing?" Kanzaki quietly scolded.
"O-oh hey there… Kanzaki…" I greeted awkwardly before gradually walking back towards my bed.
"Were you trying to escape?"
"…."
"Why are you being so difficult?" Kanzaki put her hand on her temple.
"Me? Difficult? What do you expect me to do in when I'm kidnapped?"
"It's for your own good Touma Kamijou." Kanzaki answered determinedly.
"I really wonder about that…" I shook my head.
Kanzaki turned around and turned to walk out.
"I'm sorry… but it's for the best…"
When she left, my head was soon wracked by an intense pain.
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Lately, I've been having these weird dreams though I'm sure you've noticed it by now right? Horrific daydreams and nightmares.
Yet, even then, I didn't fight back. Even though I wanted to run away, there was still a part of me that seemed intrigued. Maybe even excited.
Nothing makes sense anymore. All of these delusions and nightmares. How funny would it be if everything that happened so far was just worthless fantasies that I secretly spurred on in my head? How repulsive.
I remember when I yearned to be in a loving relationship with a girl. Those days have long since passed though. Maybe it was something I learned in the phases but I came to realize that the type of 'relationship' I wanted wasn't the one I expected. Instead of mutual love, I yearned for someone who would blindly devote themselves for me. Lust is a despicable thing isn't it? It's completely reshaped the way I look at girls…
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I woke up despite my body telling me that it was still asleep. I groaned and lazily got up.
This room…isn't it… different?
I awoke not in Necessarius but in a love hotel.
The scenery was painstakingly bright pink and the bed was lavish enough for royalty. Nothing else stood out though aside from the girl who was on the bed.
She was nude and she has a delighted smile on her face. It was Agnese. Her usual habit was tossed to the side.
As soon as I noticed her appearance, her eyes opened.
She looked at me in surprise and then delight. Her smile was amazingly radiant.
"Touma! Did you enjoy last night?" Agnese asked me with a devious grin.
I was in too much shock to say anything… what?! D-did we do that?!
"I sure did. Although, you didn't last as long as I thought." She gazed at me lovingly.
It was then that I noticed that I too was nude.
"Ah! It seems like someone is getting excited!" She looked down towards my crotch and I felt a shame I've never felt before.
I tried to back away but she grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall. She licked my ear and grabbed my member.
As soon as she did that, I pushed her away and ran to the door. This isn't what I want! What the hell?! But I should've left earlier if I didn't really want it right?
I ran to the door and pushed it open.
The sight before me made me fall to my knees.
Agnese walked behind me and smiled.
"Isn't it beautiful? I never get tired from looking at it." Agnese grinned.
In the hallway of the love hotel were dozens of corpses of me… Touma Kamijou. Some were in different conditions but they were all unclothed. One of them had his guts ripped out and a fetus was stuffed inside. Another had their eyes ripped out with a pleasure filled smile. Another had their hands taped to their legs and their feet taped to their arms.
"I wonder what I should do with you." Agnese muttered lustfully, licking her lips.
I put my hands to my head and screamed in unrelenting agony. Kill me… please someone kill me…
I closed my eyes, longing for a new reality.
And it did come.
Soon I would come to terms with this… bother.
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