Chapter II: Ogre Killed my Mother, Now I'm a Mad Person

I can't remember much of last night. Emm, ewmm, emm, ehh... yeah. At least I remember why. The pounding in my head's a good reminder. I feel out of sorts, in disarray, unbalanced.

Wait a fucking minute.

I'm not the only one in this hammock.

You can imagine how glad I was to discover I had knocked over one of my statues on my way to bed and it just landed in the hammock.

It's my day off work, so I think I'll relax at Law's.

"KAZAMA!" Law screamed as I walked through the door.

"What? What did I do this time?"

"You see all those broken tables?"

I turned around to get a look at the seating area. Indeed, there were some tables with cracks in them, some wobbling, and some obliterated.

"What about it?"

"'What about it?' You owe me 150 bucks, that's what's about it!"

"Ahh, I'll make it back to you in drink."

Law let out a defeated sigh.

"Your usual, Kazama?"

"Yeah."

"One round that is enough to do ten people coming right up..."

"Brilliant."

I took my drinks and went over to my usual booth, at the back of the restaurant area, next to the window.

Law's is the hangout for all the usual Iron Fist fighters who have nothing better to do. Here's one coming now:

"I have a riddle for you," Raven said as he materialized sitting across from me.

"What is it...?" I answered.

"What is one in six, but never alone, or five of the boats?" he quizzed.

"Is it you, Raven?"

"Correct," he congratulated in a gleeful tone.

"Great. Now leave me alone. Please," I demanded.

"As you wish," he said as he disappeared.

Yup, this where every useless, layabout degenerate in the game can be found.

"BOOOOOOOOB!" was the usual cry let out as soon as Hwoarang arrived. It was his way of announcing his presence. I don't know what he was referring to, but we all assume he was referring to himself.

"What's up, Kazama?" Hwoarang asked.

"Why the long face?" he asked upon not getting a reply.

"Same thing that's always wrong with me," I replied. "Ogre killed my mother and now I'm a mad person." (Which was incidentally the title of the opening track on my album.)

"Man, are you still on that?" he asked. "I mean, I think you'd have bigger problems, like when both your fathers, and your grandfather, and your great-grandfather tried to kill you?"

I simply glared at him with an immense hatred like no other.

"That reminds me, I saw Kazuya," he stated, in his usual idiotic tone.

"Riveting," I replied sarcastically.

"He was outside your flat."

"What?" I shouted.

"Yeah, he had a big parcel with him, probably another baby present, haha lulzmachine," he jested, but it was no laughing matter.


"Mr Jin!" Trip shouted.

"What is it, Tony?" I asked flatly.

"It's Tom," he replied, angrily. "A strange man with hair much like yourself dropped this off. You weren't in, so I had to take it for you," he said, handing me a large box.

"Um, yeah. Thanks," I said, taking the box from him.

Once back inside my flat, I opened the box and peered inside to see its contents.

"Kazuya," I hissed.


"I'm here to see Mr Mishima," I said to the receptionist in a flat yet malignant tone.

"Do you have an appointment?" she said in her irritatingly squeaky voice.

"No, I don't. Does that matter?" I asked. (Though you could probably tell I was asking a question due to the presence of a question mark.)

"Yes, it does, you cannot see him without an appointment!"

"Yeah, whatever," I said as I strolled right past her into the elevator.

"WAIT, MR JI-" she was cut off by the elevator doors closing behind me.

I walked down the hallway, seething with rage.

"Um, eh, Jin, what are you doing here?" Nina asked as I walked towards the door to Kazuya's office (formerly known as the whole top floor of the building.).

"I'm here to see that stupid, lumbering idiot behind that door."

"Uh, I can't let you in."

"Try and stop me," I said as I kicked the doors open.

As soon as I saw him, I took the "present" he had sent and launched it right towards him. With a resounding thud and a yelp, the tricycle bounced off his skull.

"What is the meaning of this, boy?" he asked. "Don't you like the present?"

"Oh, no. It's wonderful. I'll just throw out my motorbike right away," I said mockingly.

"Excellent! I'll make arrangements for it to be picked up," he proclaimed.

"No you won't, you idiot, I'm BEING SARCASTIC!"

"Why, boy?" he asked. "Why don't you love me?" he pleaded.

"Because you're an idiot," I said as I left.

Whilst on the ground floor as I was leaving, I walked past a poster, intended to motivate the workers. It had Kazuya standing proud and smug in his usual purple suit with the words "Do your work, wear my haircut" underneath him, and indeed, everyone here had the same hairstyle as Kazuya, only myself, Hwoarang and Nina escaped that fate. I pulled a black marker out from my pocket, a devilish grin adorning my face.

"Hehe...hahaha... MUHAHAHAHAHAha!"