Told you this chapter wouldn't take long!!
Chapter 3
That night Lara got home and called Colette.
"Hi Colette, it's Lara."
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm OK, look I've booked an appointment at the clinic for thursday, will you come with me?"
"Yeah, of course I will, what time is it? I'm not on till 8, want me to try and change my shift?"
"No, thats fine, my appointments at 10, it'll all be over in time for you to go to work. Are you sure you don't mind?"
"Honestly, its fine, but Lara, are you sure this is what you want to do? Because once its done there's no going back."
"I know and I've thought about it a lot. This is the only thing I can think of, I'll be OK."
"Well if your sure..."
"I am. I'll see you tomorrow."
"OK, bye."
"Bye."
Lara glanced at the clock and realised that it was 10, she was on at 8 the next morning, and she hadn't been sleeping well the past few days, she was exhausted. She climbed into the large bed, which had felt so empty since Patrick had gone. She glanced over to the picture of Patrick on the side of her bed.
"I'm so sorry, please don't think that I love you any less, this isn't why I'm doing this. I just don't think I can cope on my own. I really am sorry."
Lara began crying and slowly lowered her hand down onto her stomach. She could feel the small bump and momentarily allowed herself to think about the tiny life growing inside of her, it was a part of her and a part of Patrick. More tears rolled down her face and, as though her stomach was on fire, Lara quickly pulled her hands away.
That night she cried herself to sleep.
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Lara some how managed to get through the next two days and had begged Max to let her have thursday off, although he didn't seem too impressed he eventually agreed and told her he'd get Simon cover her shift.
Thursday morning Lara woke up, after only managing to get three hours sleep, she threw up and went through the motions of getting dressed, not really paying much attention to what she was doing, her mind was elsewhere.
She heard knock at the door, she ran downstairs and answered it.
"Hi Colette."
"You ready?" She asked Lara.
Lara nodded.
"I'll drive, then I'll drive us home, you'll be in no state to drive."
"Thanks Colette, for everything."
Thats OK."
The drive to Holby Clinic was silent. Lara's mind was still spinning and she didn't know if she was 100% sure that this was what she wanted. She'd attended the compulsory counselling session yesterday and before she had walked in she was sure this was what she wanted. 10 minutes into the session and she had began doubting herself. She had always thought that something would just click and immediatly everything would become clear, but she was now beginning to see that that wasn't the case.
"Colette, do you think you could have coped with Natalie on your own?" Lara asked as they pulled into the car-park.
"Yeah, thinking about it now I probably could have. But I was only young then. My life wouldn't be how it is now and I'm happy with Josh but if my mum hadn't been so insistant that I gave Natalie up I would have kept her. I think I would have been OK. Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering."
"Lara I know I've already asked you but are you sure this is what you want?"
Lara nodded, but Colette noticed the uncertainty on her face, before she could comment Lara had got out of the car and was walking towards the entrance. Colette sighed, climbed out of the car and followed her.
They walked into the reception.
"Good morning, do you have an appointment?" The receptionist asked cheerily.
"Yes, erm 11'O' clock, Doctor Lara Stone."
The receptionist glanced up and Lara could tell she was wondering how good a doctor she could be if she'd got herself into this state.
"Oh yes, if you'd like to take a seat I think we're running a bit late but it shouldn't be long." she replied.
Lara and Colette went and sat in two empty seats in the corner, Colette picked up a magazine, figuring that Lara needed some time to think. Lara looked at the women around her.
To her left there was a young woman, in fact she wasn't a woman, she was just a girl couldn't have been more than 15. Next to her, holding her hand was her silent mother. On Lara's right there was a young couple in their twenties, she wondered what their story was. Maybe they wanted their child but their was something wrong, or maybe they had decided that now wasn't the right time, maybe in the future but not now, they had loads of time to have children. Suddenly it struck Lara, if she had this abortion then that was it, she'd never have Patricks child this was her only chance she wouldn't have it again. She realised what she had to do, she nudged Colette and stood up.
"Come on lets go."
"What?"
"I don't want this, it isn't right. Come on lets go get some lunch, I'm starving!"
Colette smiled, stood up and followed Lara, they walked past the reception.
"Cancell my appointment please"
"Are you sure Doctor Stone?"
"Yeah, I want to have this baby."
They walked back to the car and for the first time in over a week Lara was smiling.
"I knew you'd change your mind." Colette told her.
"How?" Lara asked confused.
"Well you loved Patrick so much, I knew you wouldn't want to give up his child, your going to be a great mum."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I had to let you decide for yourself, I didn't want you to change your mind because of me. I've been through all that and if I'd said anything you would have ended up hating me. I did wonder how long it was going to take you though, you left it a bit late!"
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, come on, lets get out of here!"
*****
That night Lara sat in bed looking at Patricks photo.
"Patrick I'm going to have our baby, and I'm going to look after it as well as I can. I can't believe I ever considered giving this up, I'm sorry. I think I'm going to be OK, I love you."
Lara placed her hands on her stomach once again and this time, instead of crying she smiled and felt the love she had for her unborn child. She knew then that she'd be alright, even if she had to do this without Patrick, he would always be there looking after them both.
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Hope you liked it, please review!!
Chapter 3
That night Lara got home and called Colette.
"Hi Colette, it's Lara."
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm OK, look I've booked an appointment at the clinic for thursday, will you come with me?"
"Yeah, of course I will, what time is it? I'm not on till 8, want me to try and change my shift?"
"No, thats fine, my appointments at 10, it'll all be over in time for you to go to work. Are you sure you don't mind?"
"Honestly, its fine, but Lara, are you sure this is what you want to do? Because once its done there's no going back."
"I know and I've thought about it a lot. This is the only thing I can think of, I'll be OK."
"Well if your sure..."
"I am. I'll see you tomorrow."
"OK, bye."
"Bye."
Lara glanced at the clock and realised that it was 10, she was on at 8 the next morning, and she hadn't been sleeping well the past few days, she was exhausted. She climbed into the large bed, which had felt so empty since Patrick had gone. She glanced over to the picture of Patrick on the side of her bed.
"I'm so sorry, please don't think that I love you any less, this isn't why I'm doing this. I just don't think I can cope on my own. I really am sorry."
Lara began crying and slowly lowered her hand down onto her stomach. She could feel the small bump and momentarily allowed herself to think about the tiny life growing inside of her, it was a part of her and a part of Patrick. More tears rolled down her face and, as though her stomach was on fire, Lara quickly pulled her hands away.
That night she cried herself to sleep.
***********************************************************************
Lara some how managed to get through the next two days and had begged Max to let her have thursday off, although he didn't seem too impressed he eventually agreed and told her he'd get Simon cover her shift.
Thursday morning Lara woke up, after only managing to get three hours sleep, she threw up and went through the motions of getting dressed, not really paying much attention to what she was doing, her mind was elsewhere.
She heard knock at the door, she ran downstairs and answered it.
"Hi Colette."
"You ready?" She asked Lara.
Lara nodded.
"I'll drive, then I'll drive us home, you'll be in no state to drive."
"Thanks Colette, for everything."
Thats OK."
The drive to Holby Clinic was silent. Lara's mind was still spinning and she didn't know if she was 100% sure that this was what she wanted. She'd attended the compulsory counselling session yesterday and before she had walked in she was sure this was what she wanted. 10 minutes into the session and she had began doubting herself. She had always thought that something would just click and immediatly everything would become clear, but she was now beginning to see that that wasn't the case.
"Colette, do you think you could have coped with Natalie on your own?" Lara asked as they pulled into the car-park.
"Yeah, thinking about it now I probably could have. But I was only young then. My life wouldn't be how it is now and I'm happy with Josh but if my mum hadn't been so insistant that I gave Natalie up I would have kept her. I think I would have been OK. Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering."
"Lara I know I've already asked you but are you sure this is what you want?"
Lara nodded, but Colette noticed the uncertainty on her face, before she could comment Lara had got out of the car and was walking towards the entrance. Colette sighed, climbed out of the car and followed her.
They walked into the reception.
"Good morning, do you have an appointment?" The receptionist asked cheerily.
"Yes, erm 11'O' clock, Doctor Lara Stone."
The receptionist glanced up and Lara could tell she was wondering how good a doctor she could be if she'd got herself into this state.
"Oh yes, if you'd like to take a seat I think we're running a bit late but it shouldn't be long." she replied.
Lara and Colette went and sat in two empty seats in the corner, Colette picked up a magazine, figuring that Lara needed some time to think. Lara looked at the women around her.
To her left there was a young woman, in fact she wasn't a woman, she was just a girl couldn't have been more than 15. Next to her, holding her hand was her silent mother. On Lara's right there was a young couple in their twenties, she wondered what their story was. Maybe they wanted their child but their was something wrong, or maybe they had decided that now wasn't the right time, maybe in the future but not now, they had loads of time to have children. Suddenly it struck Lara, if she had this abortion then that was it, she'd never have Patricks child this was her only chance she wouldn't have it again. She realised what she had to do, she nudged Colette and stood up.
"Come on lets go."
"What?"
"I don't want this, it isn't right. Come on lets go get some lunch, I'm starving!"
Colette smiled, stood up and followed Lara, they walked past the reception.
"Cancell my appointment please"
"Are you sure Doctor Stone?"
"Yeah, I want to have this baby."
They walked back to the car and for the first time in over a week Lara was smiling.
"I knew you'd change your mind." Colette told her.
"How?" Lara asked confused.
"Well you loved Patrick so much, I knew you wouldn't want to give up his child, your going to be a great mum."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I had to let you decide for yourself, I didn't want you to change your mind because of me. I've been through all that and if I'd said anything you would have ended up hating me. I did wonder how long it was going to take you though, you left it a bit late!"
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, come on, lets get out of here!"
*****
That night Lara sat in bed looking at Patricks photo.
"Patrick I'm going to have our baby, and I'm going to look after it as well as I can. I can't believe I ever considered giving this up, I'm sorry. I think I'm going to be OK, I love you."
Lara placed her hands on her stomach once again and this time, instead of crying she smiled and felt the love she had for her unborn child. She knew then that she'd be alright, even if she had to do this without Patrick, he would always be there looking after them both.
***********************************************************************
Hope you liked it, please review!!
