Merlee: Sorry it's been a while T_T It'd have been sooner if I weren't busy typing the rest of this up
Ikuto: So you're actually going to finish this before you post it all?
Merlee: Sorta :P I'm actually typing chapter 6, but you guys will have to wait a little longer for that X)
Ikuto: =_=
Merlee: And this chapter is sorta dramatic X)
Ikuto: o-o I really don't want to know what you mean by that.
Miki: Merlee doesn't own Shugo Chara or it's characters.
Merlee: You didn't add the last part o.o I feel left out.
Ikuto's POV
I think that the whole situation made me crazy.
Honestly, who other than a crazy person would take their iPod, go to the site of someone's death, and play a song that sounded like it would be played at a funeral? (A/N: Link to the song I'm talking about on my profile. Please play it :D) Did I seriously think that would fix my depression?
I just didn't know anymore. In fact, I felt as though everything were slipping away from me. I felt like maybe the world didn't really exist, and we all just thought it existed. Maybe there was only me in that world, and maybe the whole world was just my imagination. Or maybe I didn't exist. Maybe everything was a dream, a nightmare, each of us thinking we existed when we didn't. It was as if there weren't anything there to begin with and never would be. The entire universe was empty, maybe, just a black void in a weird dimension were everything was actually nothing.
I really was going crazy. Only a crazy person would think things like that. But did I even believe what I thought? Was the depression just taking over my mind and tightening its grip on it? I wished it were all a horrible dream. And I hoped that at any moment, Amu would come jumping out of a nearby bush and yell "Surprise!" or "Fooled you!" But that wasn't possible. Not unless the entire world was taken over by zombies. Amu was dead, and no matter how much I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to deny it for much longer.
Even though I was almost completely lost in my thoughts, I did what I pretty much came to do. I walked over to the monkey bars where Amu had spent her last breaths and thoughts before sending herself into who-knows-where and knew instantly that it was the place where she had been. The blood had been cleaned up and there weren't even flowers in her remembrance since they'd all been placed on her gravestone, but somehow I just got the feeling. It was almost as if Amu were there herself, still hanging upside-down, her will and the note she wrote me in her hands.
I could almost see her there, too, tears running down her face softly, I could almost hear sobs and a small whisper. I could imagine her sliding off the bars and her head hitting the cold pavement with a loud thud. I could nearly hear a long, deep breath being let out slowly. A last breath.
And just because nobody else had left any flowers in remembrance yet didn't mean that I wasn't going to. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a deep red rose with a black ribbon around it, similar to the one in The Phantom of the Opera. On the ribbon I had put a small note that said, My beloved Amu, rest in the happiness you always deserved. I knelt down and placed the rose down gently and adjusted it in a way so it wouldn't blow away as easily. I then sat down, leaning against the side of the monkey bars. I decided that it would be my new spot. Mine and mine only. The last place Amu was, the last place she'd ever be.
I sighed. Why did that last part not sound right? It really didn't seem like it was the last place she was, or the last place she'd be. But either way, I knew it was her last place, and I wanted to make sure it was going to be mine, too.
It was a pretty good thing that the thought process of a depressed person was obvious and predictable, because I was able to tell what I'd want to do without thinking about it. I reached into the interior pocket in my raincoat and looked up at the gray, cloudy sky; it had been dark and rainy ever since Amu died, and not even a streak of sunlight penetrated the clouds. Almost as if my iPod had a brain and knew what was going on, it switched songs to Sleep Well, My Angel by We Are The Fallen. (A/N: Like always, I don't own it. Play for best effect. Link can be found on my profile or you can look it up on youtube.)
Watching you sleep for so long,
Knowing that I can't turn the rain into sun anymore
I've given you all that I have,
Now I stand here, too scared to hold your hand.
Afraid you might wake to see
The monster that had to leave
How fitting, I thought as I aimed the silvery knife at my stomach.
'Cause you see the shelter as the storm
Holding wind to keep you on,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,
So sleep well, my angel.
Without a second thought, I sliced through my stomach with the knife. Right as I did it, I heard what sounded like someone shouting my name, and I was knocked over by something, but I couldn't see what. Even as I tried turning my head to see, I couldn't. My vision was fading and my eyes were closing involuntarily.
"I'm sorry," I heard someone whisper urgently and shakily, as if they were about to cry, "I'm sorry I couldn't reach you any sooner."
Amu's POV
Why couldn't I have been faster? If I had been just a little faster, I could have stopped him.
I could feel icy tears roll down my cheeks as I sat next to a dying Ikuto. Somehow, when I tackled him, the earphones flew out of his iPod, turning on its speakers.
Under the ash and the lies,
Something beautiful once here now dies,
And the tears burn my eyes,
As you sit there, all alone.
I just want to come home
I bit my lip and let out another sob. What could I do? There had to be something, right? I mean really, I was his guardian angel, so there had to be something. Then it hit me. Ikuto had to have brought his cell phone with him, right? I searched all of his pockets until I found it. When I did, I dialed 911 and hoped that my voice could be heard through the phone.
"This is 911. What is your emergency?"
"Uhm, I found this guy in the park and he looks like he's been stabbed…"
Luckily, they could hear me and sent an ambulance, which came almost right away. I stayed next to Ikuto the entire time and gripped his blood-covered hand in mine, careful not to smear any of it with my touch, since I was made up of barely anything more than wind and air.
But you see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you on,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,
So sleep well my angel.
Sleep well, my angel.
In the emergency room, the doctors decided that they had to do an immediate operation on him and rushed him into the OR. The doctors worked carefully and as best they could, I could tell they were trying their hardest, but I didn't know if it would be enough. I sat in the corner of the room, lucky for once that I couldn't be seen, watching the doctors work, holding my hands together, praying. I couldn't help but feel responsible. Not only could I not move fast enough, but also I was pretty sure that Ikuto had tried killing himself because of me.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
After a long while, the doctors were done, and Ikuto was emitted into a room in the intensive care unit. Even there I refused to leave his side, lying down next to him. From what I could tell, he was going to live. And that was as much as I could ask for. It was the only thing I was asking for at the moment. Sure, if Ikuto did die, we could be together again, but I didn't want him to die. That was the last thing I wanted.
You see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you on,
You are everything to me, this is why
I tried my best not to start crying again, because Ikuto would have heard my sobs and woken up, and he needed to rest for as long as he could so his body could heal. I bit my quivering lip and shut my eyes tightly, determined not to let out a single tear. But that didn't work. Within a matter of seconds, tears were rolling down my face.
You see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you on,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave
So sleep well, my angel.
Sleep well, my angel.
I let out more tears and eventually I started sobbing. I took my hand and bit down in it to try and stop myself, squinting my eyes tightly, and it worked a little, but not much. I opened my eyes again, and through tears I looked into Ikuto's face. He didn't look peaceful and gentle like one would expect; he looked pained and troubled instead. I guess that was reasonable, considering the circumstances, but it still didn't seem right.
And then, Ikuto opened his eyes and sat up a little in the hospital bed. He looked even more troubled then he did when he was asleep. I sighed, seeing that there wasn't much to be done in this case, at least out of the things I could do. Well, I could turn on the radio on his bedside table to try and get his mind off of the situation, but he'd notice that way too easily and even one sad song could send his emotions spiraling downward.
Then the doctor walked by and saw that Ikuto was awake. I didn't have to worry anymore.
Well, not as much.
Ikuto's POV
The first thought I had when I was waking up was where the hell am I and how the hell did I get here? But then, when a guy in a white coat or scrubs or whatever they are walked in, it was made obvious. I was in the hospital, and whoever had shouted my name had called the ambulance. But who was it that had called my name? How could they have been able to stay out of my vision even after they knocked me down?
"Hey, uh, it's Tsukiyomi Ikuto, right? Well, how are yo-"
"How did I get here? Who called the ambulance?" Maybe it was rude to interrupts the doctor who probably saved my life, but I figured that it was the best time to ask. Not to mention that I really didn't want to answer anyone else's questions.
The doctor shrugged. "We don't know. It was a girl who called, we know that, but the driver said that once they got there, it was only you."
I sighed.
"But she probably saved your life in more ways than just dialing 911. From the way you were laying, it looked like someone had tackled you after you were stabbed, and if you hadn't been, the knife would be in a fatal position and would have killed you. And it only makes sense that it'd be the girl who called."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"Either that, or it was you guardian angel."
I glared at the doctor. "Only kids believe in angels," I snapped.
The doctor shrugged. "Just saying," he said, and left the room.
Guardian angels, I thought, rolling my eyes, was he serious?
But, after a while, I doubted my own words. Guardian angels… could there be such a thing? Was there any possibility that I had a guardian angel? No, of course not. It wasn't possible. There was no way.
But then again if shugo charas existed, then why not guardian angels?
I shook my head and looked around the room. First, I took a look out the window, then the TV mounted on the wall, then at the schedule that told when they served breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then at Amu-
Amu?
I didn't blink as I stared at the figure lying beside me. All I could do was stare into those bright, sunny eyes. She sure did look like Amu, or at least the way she looked when I dreamed about her the night before. But there wasn't any way it could be… it just couldn't have been her.
I blinked, shutting my eyes tightly and opening then slowly just to prove to myself that she couldn't have been there. And sure enough, when I opened them, she wasn't there anymore. My eyes had tricked me, I was sure. I wanted to see her so badly that my mind produced a spitting image of her and I thought I saw her. It was the only logical explanation, right?
Right.
Merlee: DON'T HATE ME FOR THIS CHAPTER! T_T
Ikuto: =_= I hate you for this chapter.
Merlee: I wasn't talking to you =_= I already knew you hated me.I was talking to my readers :P
Ikuto: =_= -takes out a knife and attempts to stab Merlee-
Merlee: ANYWAY! PEOPLE! I swear that there is a perfectly good explanation for Ikuto's actions that will be explained later in the story! Don't hate me T_T -stabs Ikuto with a fork before he can stab me-
Ikuto: OW!
Merlee: R&R!
