The Point of No Return, Chapter Three

When he stepped off the stagecoach onto the dusty main street of the town, his first sight was the delighted face of Sergeant O'Rourke, immediately followed by the delighted face of Corporal Agarn.

O'Rourke snapped off a quick salute. "Captain, I mean Major! What a surprise!"

"We knew a major was coming," crowed Agarn, "but we didn't know it would be you!"

"Hello men." Wilton had extended his hand for hearty handshakes after he returned their salutes, and now they were both pounding him on the back.

"Boy, will the men ever be surprised," said Agarn. "I can't wait to see their faces!"

"So where are you coming from?" asked O'Rourke.

"I'm stationed at Fort Sumter. I've been there for almost a year." He glanced up and down the street. "Everything looks the same, although I do think that I see a new guard tower in the fort."

"Well, you know." O'Rourke shrugged with a 'what can you do?' gesture.

"I think about all of you often," continued Wilton. "Whenever a report comes out about Indian activity in the West, I always search for Fort Courage first. I've seen nothing but good news."

"Chief Wild Eagle was mad at us for a little while because we didn't invite him to Duffy's birthday party," said Agarn.

"Oh, really?" said Wilton. "That's too bad."

"We meant to, but Dobbs lost the invitation, and then we—"

"Agarn," interrupted O'Rourke. "I doubt that the Army would have included that in their report. Would the major like to review the troops now?"

O'Rourke had taken a step toward the fort, but Wilton pointed vaguely in the direction of Jane's store. "Actually, I thought I'd, uh, I thought I'd swing by and say hello to Jane first. Is she still there?"

O'Rourke's expression changed to one of appraisal, but Wilton didn't allow himself to react. "Yes, she's still there," said O'Rourke.

"She's not, er, married, is she?"

"No, she's not married."

"All right." Wilton started backing up in the direction of Jane's store. "Give me five minutes, and I'll join you in the fort."

…..

"Here, Mrs. Landry, let me help you with that."

Jane lifted the front of her voluminous skirts and climbed up a short ladder, and then stretched her arms until she could reach the bag of flour Mrs. Landry wanted. She heard the door to her store open and close, but she didn't spare any attention for it until she had the bag in her hands and she was off the ladder. She turned, and…

There stood Wilton Parmenter.

His hat in his hands, he was as trim and handsome as ever, although the gray at his temples was new. The major's insignia catching the light on his shoulders was new, too. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't completely solemn, either, and he was looking right at her with those beautiful, beautiful blue eyes that she had always loved.

She suddenly realized that she'd dropped the bag of flour, and a small white cloud was settling on the floor around her feet. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Oh, my! The flour!"

He stepped forward and picked it up before she could react. "Hello, Jane," he said softly as he handed her the bag.

She quickly put it on the counter. "Wilton, I can't believe it's you! Oh, and now you have flour all over you!"

She reached out to brush off the front of his uniform, but at the last moment she realized what she was about to do, and she changed the motion into pushing a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, instead.

"Um, you have flour… there…" He pointed at the spot on her forehead where she had captured the hair.

She laughed as she scrubbed it off with her wrist, and when he laughed back, she realized that her nervousness was gone. She saw him relax, as well.

"Wilton, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm on temporary assignment. HQ wants me to do what I can to streamline operations. I've spent the last ten months getting Fort Sumter back into shape, and they want me to apply what I've learned. I'll be here until Saturday, and then I'm to spend another six days at Fort Bravo."

"That sounds really important."

He shrugged dismissively. "So how have you been? Is the store still doing well?"

"Yes, it sure keeps me busy. The town has been growing, and I can hardly keep everything stocked."

"Does that explain why the flour is on the highest shelf?"

"Yes," she laughed. "I can't find a good place to keep everything anymore."

His eyes traveling across her face, he said, "You look terrific, Jane."

"I was just thinking the same thing about you."

He started moving toward the door. "Everyone is waiting for me, so I have to go to the fort now. Are you doing anything for lunch? May I treat you to a meal at the saloon?"

"Yes, I'd like that. Come fetch me when you're ready to eat."

"I will."

He put his hat on his head, tipped it toward her and Mrs. Landry, and left. Jane leaned slightly so that she could see him through the window as he walked away, but then she became aware of the plump, gray-haired Mrs. Landry standing nearby, appearing to be very interested in what had just happened.

She moved quickly to the counter and began to write up Mrs. Landry's ticket.

…..

Waiting near the gate to the town, O'Rourke saw the major coming and signaled to Agarn, who yelled something unintelligible.

The men scrambled into line. All they knew was that a major was going to be spending some time at the fort, and they had been told that they needed to stay sharp while he was here. They had no idea who it really was. O'Rourke jogged over to stand in front of them, and he deliberately didn't turn his back to them because he wanted to see how they would react when Major Parmenter walked into view.

He didn't even have to watch the gate to know exactly when that happened.

To a man, each one of them suddenly had a shocked expression on his face, and then they all started grinning. He checked to see if Agarn was ready to thump anyone with his hat, but Agarn had the same silly, non-regulation grin on his face as the rest of them. Dobbs even looked like he might break formation and run over there, but somehow they all managed to keep themselves in place.

Agarn yelled something else that was unintelligible, so O'Rourke pivoted smartly on his heel and saluted.

The major came to a stop before them and snapped off a salute. He was obviously delighted to see everyone, but he kept his face appropriately solemn. O'Rourke was struck by how different he looked — comfortable, utterly in command, and completely military.

"At ease, men," the major said. He was silent for a long moment, clearly moved to be standing there in front of them again, but finally he clasped his hands behind his back. "Men, I can't tell you how happy I am to be back at Fort Courage. I'm going to be spending the next few days with you in hopes of tightening things up around here, but to be honest, I look at you, and I think that Captain Buckner and I will have a challenge finding anything to improve."

O'Rourke allowed himself a small smile. He knew this wasn't true, and he knew that the major knew this wasn't true, but it didn't matter. He understood the sentiment.

"But we will try our best, and I look forward to working with each and every one of you in the days to come," added the major. "Dismissed."

The men immediately surrounded the major, and finally, O'Rourke saw the broad smile and crinkling eyes on the major's face that were so familiar.

This was going to be a good week.

…..

"… and you remember old Mrs. Thomason, don't you?" asked Jane. "I had taken supplies to her just two days before her grandson found her stretched out dead in the chicken coop. She always did love her chickens. He'd been trying to get her to move in with him and his wife, but she wouldn't budge…"

Pushing his empty plate to the side, Wilton leaned back comfortably in his chair at the saloon and studied Jane while she told him all about deaths and births, people who had left, people who had arrived, new businesses that were taking root, and so on. She was still just as bubbly as ever, but she seemed more substantial now, weightier, not physically weighty but more solid in her bearing, in her personality. She was dressed differently than he'd ever seen, too, in clothes that would have been fashionable in Philadelphia or Charleston or anywhere, not the homespun dresses he remembered seeing on her before, and she wore her hair up completely off her shoulders. The girl he had left behind was gone, not just because of her appearance but because of the whole package, and he found that he really liked the woman who had taken her place.

"Wilton, what do you think of Fort Sumter?"

Bringing himself back to the conversation, he said, "I'm enjoying it. You probably don't know this, but it was almost destroyed during the war. The Army Corps of Engineers had already rebuilt most of it before I got there, and now I'm working on getting it operational again."

"Do you live on the fort?"

"No, I have a house in Charleston close to the waterfront. I liked the neighborhood right from the start, and I get a good breeze coming off the water. For as long as I've been in the army, I'd never even considered living off fort before, but when I saw the house it was an easy choice to make."

"Is it hot there?"

"Yes, and humid, but you adapt. I suffered for a little while, especially at night, but people finally convinced me to move my bed out to the porch, and I slept much more comfortably there until the weather cooled down. Really, any discomfort from the climate is a small price to pay, because you've never seen a place that's greener, with huge trees and flowers you wouldn't believe. And there's nothing prettier than the sun coming up over the ocean."

"It sounds beautiful. It would really be something to get to see all of that someday."

He hesitated. Was it too soon? He had barely arrived at Fort Courage. He had planned to give her time to get to know him again, but here they sat and he felt like he had never left. Suddenly, the moment seemed right to tell her everything.

His heart beating faster, he said, "Jane, there's something I want to say to you. I had intended to wait, but now that I'm actually sitting here with you, I can't. I've been seeing someone, a Civil War widow named Emily. She's really terrific. As a matter of fact, I've been thinking recently that it's time for me to get married."

He saw a small shadow cross her face, but she quickly smiled and said, "That's wonderful, Wilton. Congratulations."

"The problem," he continued earnestly, "is that the more I think about settling down, the more my thoughts keep returning to you."

The smile faded from her face, to be replaced by a look of bewilderment.

He paused to gather his resolve before plunging ahead. "It's you I picture greeting me at the door when I come home after a long day at the fort. It's you I picture sitting across from me at the dinner table. It's you, Jane, that I see brushing your hair before bed, rocking a baby in the corner of the bedroom, lying beside me at night. It's you. It's always you."

Her eyes had grown huge, but otherwise she sat frozen.

He leaned forward to emphasize his words. "I made a terrible mistake with you, Jane, the worst one of my life. I should never have left without you. Will you allow me to make it up to you? Will you give me a second chance?"

He could actually hear his heart beating in his ears as he held his breath, praying for the right answer.

"Oh, Wilton, no." She held up her left hand to show him a ring. "I'm sorry, but I'm engaged."

He sat back hard, feeling like he had been punched in the stomach. He could see just a hint of tears in her eyes, but he knew that they were there only because she felt sorry for him. She was proud and clearly happy. He quickly blinked away the sting in his own eyes and forced himself to smile.

"That's great, Jane. Who's the lucky man?"

"His name is Robert, and his daddy bought the bank here in town a little while after you left. He grew up in St. Louis, but he went to school at Harvard." She had started out cautiously, obviously concerned about his feelings, but as she continued to speak, enthusiasm crept into her voice. "He came here after he got out of school, and he's going to take over the bank from his daddy someday. We've been engaged since December, and we're getting married in September. He's a wonderful man. I think you'd really like him."

"I'm sure I would." Although it was the last thing he wanted to say, he added, "I hope I can meet him while I'm here."

She caught her lip between her teeth for a moment, and then said, "How about if you come to supper tonight at his place? He lives in that new house next to where the Paulson family used to be. You can't miss it. I'll cook us up a skillet of fried chicken, and it'll give the two of you a chance to get to know each other. Unless this is too hard for you-"

"Nonsense." Trying his best to sound enthusiastic, he said, "A home-cooked meal will taste good, and I look forward to meeting Robert. I'll be there."

…..

At the sound of the doorbell, Robert strode to the door and opened it. The man standing before him was small, but not as small as the town gossip Mrs. Landry had led him to believe. She, herself, had never met Major Parmenter before today, but she had gleefully relayed everything she'd heard from people around town, whom she had no doubt scurried around to interrogate as soon as she found out that he had once been romantic with Jane. She'd said that he was slightly built — yes, he was slight but Robert could see the outline of muscles under his uniform — and young — not so young, thought Robert, as he studied the other man's graying hair and sun-lined face — and inexperienced — Robert couldn't really judge that yet, but this fellow appeared to be pretty well seasoned to him. But then again, Mrs. Landry's information was old, and a man could change in five years. He also knew to take anything she told him with a grain of salt.

Robert extended a hand to him. "Welcome, Major Parmenter. I'm Robert Carlisle. Please come in."

"Good to meet you, Robert." The major shook his hand firmly. "Please call me Wilton."

Untying her apron, Jane hurried from the back of the house. "Wilton, I'm so glad you could join us."

Parmenter smiled at Jane with such familiarity that Robert felt a twinge of discomfort at the implication of their shared past. Ushering them both toward the parlor, he asked, "Are you enjoying being back at Fort Courage?"

"Yes, I am. I've been able to keep up with what's happened here from a military perspective, but that's no substitute for being here and seeing everyone again."

"Has it changed much since you left?"

"Yes and no. The town has grown, but just this morning I told Sergeant O'Rourke that I noticed a new guard tower." He laughed as he found a seat. "It's good to know that some things never change."

Jane laughed with him, and Robert pretended to be in on the joke even though he didn't understand. Wouldn't a new guard tower fall under the heading of something new, instead of, apparently, the opposite?

Pouring lemonade from the pitcher she had placed on the sofa table earlier, Jane said, "They haven't put a cannonball through the front window of my store in ages."

"Hey, that's great," said Parmenter. "Their aim must be improving."

He accepted a glass from Jane and paused to take a sip, and then gestured around him. "You have a very nice home, Robert."

"Thank you. I enjoy living here, but it's a bit bare. It will benefit from the presence of a woman once we're married."

"Jane said that your wedding is to be in September."

"Yes, we chose that date so it won't be so hot in St. Louis."

"Oh, you're getting married in St. Louis?"

Jane jumped into the conversation. "Generations of Robert's family have attended a big old Episcopal church there, and even though he and his parents have been gone for a while, they still have lots of friends and family in the area. His daddy's parents are hosting the reception…"

Robert settled back to watch the dynamics between Parmenter and Jane while she described the wedding. She spoke as if everything was her idea, but the truth was that his mother had taken over most of the planning. She was always very careful to include Jane, but it was clear that Jane didn't have the resources or the knowledge to put together the type of wedding his mother thought they deserved. Parmenter seemed to approve of everything Jane said — he knew that Parmenter was from Philadelphia, and from what he could infer was a bit of a blue-blood — so he assumed that his mother must be on the right track.

Jane looked at him affectionately, and he realized that he was so worried about Parmenter that he wasn't paying attention to the conversation. He saw no sign that Jane was still attracted to the major, so he decided to just relax and enjoy the evening.

…..

Later that night, Wilton slowly walked through town, his head down as he studied the dust that was kicked up with his every step. Jane was right — Robert seemed like a wonderful man for her. He was big, as broad as most of the country boys Wilton had ever met, and it was hard to believe that he was a banker and not a farmer. He lived in a large house with nice things, and Jane had seemed right at home as she bustled around in the kitchen. Their conversation had been awkward at first, as he had known it would be, but as the evening wore on he had to grudgingly acknowledge that he had quite a bit in common with Robert. They had both grown up as the only sons of prominent families overshadowed by authoritative fathers, been educated in the East, and followed family tradition with their choice of careers.

But he still didn't like the man.

He took a deep breath and blew the air out slowly, telling himself that he had to be fair. Jane was happy, and she'd found someone who would take good care of her. He had nobody to blame but himself that things had turned out this way.

"Hey, Major!"

Startled, he looked up to see O'Rourke and Agarn walking in his direction.

"Oh, hello, men. Sorry, I was lost in my own thoughts."

O'Rourke gestured to his left. "We were just heading over to the saloon. Can we buy you a drink?"

Wilton doubted that he'd be very good company right now, but the idea of being alone wasn't very appealing, either. Of course, he knew that an officer shouldn't fraternize like this with the enlisted men, and while he adhered to that convention at Fort Sumter — the enlisted men would be shocked if he did otherwise — it had never seemed to matter here. Which was good. He wasn't the only officer at Fort Sumter so he had companionship when he wanted it, but he still felt like he was missing out sometimes.

"Sure," he said. "That sounds like just the thing. Thank you."

"How was your first day back at Fort Courage?" asked O'Rourke as they fell into step together.

"It was good," he lied, but then added truthfully, "I sure have missed this place and everyone here."

"You couldn't have missed us more than we missed you," said Agarn. "Captain Moore was a real jackass. He—"

"Agarn!" interrupted O'Rourke. "You wouldn't want to be bad-mouthing an officer in front of another officer."

Wilton waved him off. "It's not a problem. I thought he was a jackass, too. Captain Buckner seems like a good man, though. It appears that he has things well in hand here."

"Yeah, he's done all right," said O'Rourke, "but it's still not the same as when you were here. Those were good years."

"Yes," agreed Wilton. "They were."

They entered the saloon and found a table. O'Rourke caught the bartender's eye and called out, "Hey, Joe! We'll have two whiskies and… What'll you have, Major? A sarsaparilla?"

"I'll have a whisky, too."

O'Rourke raised both eyebrows in surprise and held up three fingers to the bartender. "Three whiskies."

"Major, since when do you drink?" asked Agarn.

"Since a few years ago. I guess I'm not quite as morally upright as I used to be."

"Or sometimes life kicks you in the rear and only a whisky will do," said O'Rourke.

Wilton nodded. "There's that, too."

When the whiskies arrived, they clinked their glasses together and drank.

"So," said Wilton, putting his glass down with a heavy sigh. "You've probably figured out that the real reason I'm here isn't for an assignment." His shoulders sagging, he gave up any attempt at pretense. "Why didn't you tell me that she was engaged?"

O'Rourke and Agarn exchanged glances, and finally Agarn threw up his hands and said, "Because we hoped it wouldn't matter!"

Wilton frowned and sat straighter. "Why? Is there something wrong with him?"

"No, no," said O'Rourke. "He's a perfectly respectable guy. Solid, successful, well-educated, socially prominent—"

"Dull," interjected Agarn.

"Yes, dull," agreed O'Rourke. "He's a good man, but I've never seen him joke around or share a laugh with her."

"And she's different now!" added Agarn. "She never wears her buckskins anymore—"

"She never wears her buckskins?" echoed Wilton. "But I loved her buckskins."

"—and I haven't seen her on horseback for months—"

"She doesn't ride anymore?"

"—and she's selling the store."

"She didn't tell me that."

O'Rourke took a big swig of whisky. "It seems like he's making her into the perfect little banker's wife. It's not all bad, because I know that she was thrilled when he ordered those fancy dresses for her from St. Louis, but we're still not crazy about the situation."

"Have you talked to her about it?" asked Wilton.

"No, we haven't wanted to spoil her excitement," said O'Rourke. "She seems set on doing this, so who are we to object, anyway?"

"You're her friends," said Wilton.

"Yes, and as friends, we've decided to keep our mouths shut and be supportive." O'Rourke looked pointedly at Agarn. "Right, Agarn?" When Agarn didn't respond right away, he added more emphatically, "Right?"

"Yes, right," said Agarn glumly.

Wilton watched the last little bit of whisky slosh around in his glass. "I don't like it. Trying to change her. Why? She's perfect. She's, well, she's Jane. Why would anyone want to change that?"

O'Rourke just shook his head as he also stared into his glass, and they sat quietly until O'Rourke asked, "Is there not really an assignment, Major?"

"Oh, there's an assignment. I cooked it up myself and talked Command into sending me. I threw in Fort Bravo at the last minute because I wanted to have an escape route in case things didn't work out here. I guess that was a good idea…"

His voice dwindled away when he realized that Jane had come in the door. All three men looked in her direction.

"There you are, Wilton," she said. "Robert had to go back to the bank to finish up some work, and I thought you might like someone to show you everything that's changed around town."

He turned back to Agarn and O'Rourke, but before he could say anything, they both stood. "We were just finishing up here, Jane," said O'Rourke. "Major, you go ahead, and we'll continue this discussion tomorrow."

"All right then," said Wilton. "Thanks for the drink."

"It was our pleasure."

Jane had already started toward the door, and Wilton glanced over his shoulder as he followed her out. The other two men appeared to be as surprised as he was, and he shrugged slightly in their direction. He didn't want to get his hopes up, for this probably was just an invitation to see the town and nothing more, but whatever it was, he'd take it.

…..

Jane looked over at Wilton, who was sitting next to her on the top step in front of her store. Their walk around town had been nice, and they'd found a number of inconsequential things to chat about, but somehow when he had escorted her home and started to say good night, she had found that she wasn't quite ready for the night to end. So they had settled themselves here, and now she was enjoying the stars overhead and the breeze that wound slowly around them and the very real presence of the man beside her, so familiar and yet unfamiliar after having been gone from her life for so many years.

As if he could read her mind, he said, "Gosh, it's hard to believe that I'm back at Fort Courage, sitting here with you just like before."

"You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw you this morning." She smiled ruefully. "You know, after you left, I used to turn every time my door opened, half expecting to see you walk through it. It took months before I was able to accept that you were really gone."

He took a heavy breath. "Jane, I don't know what to say other than that I'm sorry for the way I left. Riding away from here was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life."

"Really? It looked so easy for you. It was like you had changed, somehow, like it wasn't really my sweet Wilton riding away."

His brow creased, he shook his head. "I almost got off that train a dozen times. It wasn't until I had crossed the Mississippi River that I really made up my mind I wasn't coming back."

"It seems like it happened so long ago."

"It did happen a long time ago. It's true — time and distance really do heal old wounds. We can talk about it now. I don't think I would have been able to do this a few years ago, Jane."

"Me, either. I hated myself for what I did." She made a small, exasperated sound. "I was so young and foolish. Why did I even let myself get into that situation with Captain Moore? He acted like he didn't know that I was your girl, and I didn't tell him otherwise."

"Oh, I think he knew."

"Did you tell him?"

"No, but how could he look at us together and not see it? But it doesn't matter now, anyway. We can't blame him for anything that happened."

"No," she said softly.

"If I'm honest with myself, I can't blame you, either. You believed that you had a future with me, and I didn't come through on my end of the bargain."

"Why not, Wilton? You can tell me now. What were you so afraid of?"

"I've asked myself that question a thousand times. Maybe it's because I was finally living the life that I had always wanted to live, and I thought that changing it would, I don't know, diminish it somehow. Like it was something I had to guard, that it could be taken away from me as easily as it had come."

She couldn't help but be a little miffed. "I was never trying to steal anything away from you."

"I didn't say that it made sense. It's taken me years to figure this much out, and I'm still not sure I've really put my finger on it."

"So what changed? Why don't you feel that way anymore? Is it because of Emily?"

His eyes got a far-away look as he thought about it. "Yes, probably. We've been together for nine months, and she's never even hinted at marriage. She's always allowed me to set my own pace. No pressure, no expectations."

"Unlike me."

"Yes."

She laced her fingers together and put them heavily in her lap. "She's a wise woman, then, wiser than I was. What will happen with her now? Have you broken it off with her?"

"No, I think that she'll still be there. That's the plan, anyway."

"Does she know why you came out here?"

"Yes, she does. She actually suggested it. She realized that I still wasn't over you. I don't know if she's rooting for me to succeed for the sake of my own happiness, or if she's hoping that I don't and I get it out of my system once and for all."

"She must be pretty special."

"She is."

"Tell me about her."

He looked down at his hands and smiled. "She's a true Southern Belle. I never understood that term until I got to know her. She's small, almost fragile-looking, but inside she's as tough as nails. And she's got that genteel polish that seems to be unique to Southern women. She never gets ruffled and she knows exactly how to act in any situation, but she doesn't take any guff from anyone and she's got a surprisingly wicked sense of humor."

"You said that she's a Civil War widow."

"Yes. Her husband fought for the Confederacy. He was killed at Antietam."

"Oh, that's awful. It must have been so hard for her. Does she have any children?"

"They had one, a boy. He died when he was a baby."

Jane reached over and put her hand lightly on his wrist. "It sounds like she's had a rough life. I'm so glad she has you now. You will go back to her, won't you?"

"Maybe," he said, but then he seemed to think better of it. "Yes, probably so. If she'll take me."

"I'd be willing to bet money that she will."

"So, Robert seems like a good guy."

"He is. After you left, a couple of men tried to woo me, but I wasn't interested in anyone until I met him. I think I'm finally going to have what I always wanted, Wilton, a man and a home and a family."

"I'm glad." He smiled at her. "I really am. I'm sorry that things didn't work out between us, but it feels good to see you settled and happy."

She returned his smile. "Thank you, Wilton. That means a lot to me. I hope you can find happiness with Emily, too."

They looked at each other for a long moment, but finally he stood and extended a hand to her. "It's getting late, and we both need to get to bed."

She let him pull her to her feet, but she didn't release his hand. "I'm glad we had this talk, Wilton. There were things that needed to get said, things we needed to put to rest."

"I agree. I'll see you tomorrow."

He squeezed her hand once more before walking away, and she paused at her open door to watch him.

She had cried so many tears when he left her five years ago that she had finally cried herself out, and she couldn't remember a time since then that she had cried like that again. And after she had cried, she had become angry, until her anger was spent and she found that she couldn't be angry with him anymore. He was wrong that time healed all wounds, however. The wound might not still be raw and bloody, but she knew that the ache it had left behind — the ache she could feel so clearly right now — would stay with her forever.

End Chapter Three