Misery Business
Author: Ladelle
Rating: M
Comments: Revised Edition!
Chapter 3:
Cold.
An unbearable cold.
The frosty intake of air he was painfully managing was all that he could focus on. He breathed.
He winced.
Every breath felt like fire was rushing to his insides. His lips trembled as moisture gathered at the corners of his eyes, gently trailing down his cheeks as he forced in another rush of air. His lungs stung and he wanted to cough. For some reason, he couldn't.
A panic was beginning to overwhelm him, and he attempted to open his eyes. The motion was familiar. As soon as that familiar tickle brushed his vision, light would come in and he would be able to see. He repeated the motion. He felt the tickle, but no light entered his eyes. His breathing came forth in gasps, and he clenched his fists.
Focus.
He slowed his heaving and closed his eyes. He needed to take in the situation.
As he calmed down, more details about his situation became apparent to him. He was standing. It was awkward because he felt as though he had been taking a long nap, but an aching cramp in his foot told him otherwise.
The second detail that revealed itself was the atmosphere of his location. His skin was clammy, and the air around him was warm. That was odd though, considering it pained him to breath.
Like I'm breathing in ice, he thought.
He attempted to move forward and felt his body peel away from whatever surface he was leaning against. It was gross. His muscles ached and he felt as if he were prying himself from flypaper. He let his hands wander into the vast emptiness before him, surprised when they encountered resistance. He let his hands examine the area, brushing gently across the surface, before pushing with trepidation against what he imagined to be a metallic doorway. A groan came in response.
His body was beginning to feel familiar again, and his chest was starting to rise and fall normally. He managed to push a foot forward.
Where am I?
He pushed against the doorway with the little strength he felt, and was disappointed when it didn't budge. He pushed again. No effect.
Naruto felt his heartbeat begin to race as his hands sifted across the entirety of the metallic surface, his breath catching as he realized that it was tubular. He was in something.
He needed to get out.
The first instinct that racked Naruto's mind was to knock his way out. He slammed against the contraption with such a force that he felt it wobble in return, and in a quick moment, plowed himself into it again. The shell seemed to have reached an awkward balance, and Naruto breathed deeply. It would only take one more shove to knock it over.
He braced his shoulder, and rammed into the metallic surface, gripping the sides of the contraption as he did so. He searched for something to hold onto so that gravity wouldn't crush him to the ground, and was disappointed when his fingers found nothing. He collapsed with the tube onto a hard surface. There was a breaking of glass. His fingers scrambled to find it.
He felt air rushing at him. Cold air. Like a breeze from a cracked window of a car that's moving too quickly on the road. His hands found the source, and his eyes began to adjust. A blur of color illuminated the dry bulbs of his vision, and he scraped his hands eagerly over the broken glass in front of him. He pulled and more broke off. His fingers were clumsy with haste.
His vision was a mess of color, and he felt like a blind man in a cave, working as diligently as possible to reach the wavering light. His heart was racing, pounding against his chest. He was so close to escaping that it sent a surge of adrenaline through his body. He kicked out the glass at his feet and stumbled forward, his clammy skin met with an icy rush of air. He fell to his knees and pulled his arms in close.
The aching feeling from his throat returned and he coughed, heaving over what appeared to be cement; an unfamiliar liquid splattering onto the floor below him. He braced his body against the ground and felt his eyes begin to water, and he sniffled in a trail of snot from his nose. He focused his attention on eliminating his coughing fit, and ran his wrist across his lips, wiping away the sticky liquid. He took deep breathes, and allowed his eyes to come into focus. It seemed like hours before he could make out his surroundings.
He was in a basement and the impressive light he had been attracted to was nothing more than a stilted lamp, flickering on and off with a silent impatience. Naruto looked own at his hands, wondering why they felt so clammy, and was surprised to see that they were wrinkled and pruny, as if he had been underwater. He shook his head and sat backwards, hissing as his butt hit the concrete. He examined his clothes. They were completely dry…
The party.
Naruto nearly jumped to his feet, the sudden rush causing a miniature blackout to fade his vision. He grabbed the wall of the room and inhaled, waiting for the uncomfortable feeling to pass. He felt weak.
He had been at his party. There was a celebration for him. He had done something amazing…though he couldn't remember what. Sakura had been there, and Kiba too. But…that's all that he could remember.
His eyes sought out an exit from the small room which was littered in dust and debris, and they became fixed on a staircase. Naruto edged forward. Walking seemed foreign.
Maybe he was having a hangover?
He had had several hangovers before, and had almost always ended up in some sort of trouble. Maybe he had wandered to someone's basement and just…fallen asleep. He nodded in an attempt to convince himself. That was the only explanation he could come up with.
He stumbled up the stairs, focusing hard on what he was doing. It took a great amount of effort for him to lift his legs, and the strain it took to pull his body upward caused him to groan. He shook his head. "What…did I drink?"
His voice sounded coarse. It was raspy and thick and he had the urge to cough again.
As he neared the top of the stairs he pulled a doorknob and the door collapsed forward. He raised an eyebrow and balanced himself against the frame. The scene in front of him caused him to stop in his tracks.
Apparently the basement had been a house and it had been seated almost directly in front of a highway--he was positive he had seen in a Star Wars movie. It was a couple hundred miles away, but the thrilling flashes of vehicles caught his attention and held it. The sky was a brilliant shade of orange, and he contemplated whether it was sunrise or sundown. He shrugged. His theory about a hangover had just become slightly more complicated.
Unless he was still drunk.
He fumbled forward onto a sidewalk and collapsed to his knees, the exertion of stair climbing overwhelming him. It was only then did he realize how populated the sidewalk was. People of all shapes and sizes were stumbling around him, dressed in outfits Naruto could only begin to describe as costumes. He blinked.
"Where am I?" His voice was soft, and no one seemed to hear it. He tried to stand, but his legs kept him planted on the sidewalk. A woman walked by and snorted.
"You're blocking traffic, sweet pea."
Naruto shook his head. He couldn't help it. At the moment he was completely delusional and immobile. A man stopped in front of him and held out a hand. Naruto looked up cautiously. The man smiled, and Naruto felt his mind give up. He had no idea what was going on, but if it was a dream, he may as well go with it. He held his hand out and the other man lifted him to his feet. Naruto's legs wobbled and the man pulled him close, sending Naruto's face into his overly cologned chest. Naruto bit back a sneeze. He felt awkward.
Naruto worked hard to steady his feet, and immediately froze. The man's hand had just drifted dangerously close to his rear. He pushed the man away and stumbled backwards against a brick wall. The male raised an eyebrow.
"Where am I?" Naruto asked, his voice sounding uncertain. He could tell that he looked strange in the eyes of these new people, but he wasn't ready to figure out the puzzle for himself.
The man laughed. "Denver. Inland."
Naruto frowned. Inland? What the hell did that mean? Denver was inland.
The man stepped closer to him. "You don't look to good, babe."
Naruto felt the hairs on his neck go rigid. Had the man just referred to him as 'babe'? It was only now that Naruto took in the man's appearance. He was tall—much taller than Naruto, with dark brown hair and eyes that reminded Naruto of snake eyes. He was dressed rather obscenely, and Naruto did everything in his power to avoid glaring at what the man had revealed on his body.
He looked at the man's face. "I'm sorry, but I think I may be lost. I guess I need to know how to get to Colorado…if this isn't Colorado…" Naruto peered around and felt his mind nod. Yes, definitely not in Colorado.
The man seemed to find this comment amusing and chuckled. It sounded feminine. Naruto snorted. This guy definitely had to be homosexual.
"You're funny, babe. For the right pay, I'll take you anywhere you want to go."
Naruto's eyes widened. "Whoa there," he waved his hands in the air defensively. "I am not gay."
The man let out a vicarious laugh that sent chills up Naruto's spine. As if he were challenging him. Naruto's eyes narrowed. "What? You think I'm lying?"
It wasn't as if Naruto had ever been homophobic, but for some reason, this man was irritating him. He was coming closer, and Naruto was beginning to feel a lump grow in the pit of his stomach. He didn't have the energy to run and he knew his legs would give out. And above that, he didn't even know where he would run to. He scanned the area with desperate eyes, searching for an escape. He took in the fact that most of the people on the street were dressed similar to the man that was about to accost him, and he had an inner revelation. He had to be on Colfax, or at least a subdivision of it. Every state had one street that screamed prostitution, and Naruto would have given his life to bet that he was lost, somewhere by the Sixteenth Street Mall downtown. Although, how he got there, he had no idea, and why there were flying cars zipping around him was another mystery. He cursed.
The man extended an arm to him, running coarse fingers across his cheek. Naruto glared. And as if God had heard him silently praying for exit, another man--a stranger--plucked the fingers from his face. Naruto took in the new face with curiosity.
The young man was about his age with tan skin and narrowed eyes. His hair was soft and long, tied high into a ponytail. He had a series of piercings on his left ear, and his posture was threatening. He glanced at Naruto before smiling.
"I figured you may have gotten lost," he turned to the man and nodded slightly before cold words crept from his lips. "Thank you for looking out or him."
The statement was empty, as all three of the men knew what would have taken place if the tall Asian boy hadn't arrived. Naruto was grateful, but somewhat stalemate. In this new place, he wasn't sure who to trust.
The older man nodded minutely before vanishing into the passing crowd, obviously disappointed. Naruto took in a deep breath and blinked a few times, still trying to take in the situation. After a moment he turned his attention to his rescuer who was staring at him with a condescending frown.
"You should thank me. Though to be honest, if you were stupid enough to come here, you probably deserve whatever he had planned."
Naruto scowled and took a deep breath. He narrowed his eyes. "I don't even know where 'here' is."
The other boy rolled his eyes. "Right. You drunk or something?"
Naruto shrugged and found his eyes wandering to the ground as he tried to remember the party. "I don't…know."
The Asian boy raised an eyebrow and shook his head. He held out his hand. "Come on. You can sober up at my place. But after that, I'm kicking you out."
Naruto shied away from the boy's hand, and he looked offended. "No offense, but the last time I took someone's hand I got felt up."
The boy looked confused. "'Felt up'?"
Naruto slapped the boy's hand away. "Nevermind. Thanks anyway."
He attempted to maneuver away from the boy, using the wall as a brace. God was he tired...more tired than a normal hangover would leave him. His legs bruned and his head was beginning to ache, and he found himself more clambering against the wall then moving forward.
From beside him the Asian boy grumbled, pulling Naruto's arm around his neck and hoisting him into a standing position. Naruto's eyes widened at the sudden movement, and even though his body gave a throb of relief, he wasn't entirely trusting of these strange new people.
"Hey--"
But the boy was already half carrying him. He looked angry. "Right. I'm taking you to my place. You're like a fucking invalid."
Naruto hissed as his legs stumbled along with the boy's quick pace and was grateful that his savior's vehicle was only a few blocks away. When the boy managed to open the door for him, Naruto whistled. "What kind of car is this?"
It was sleek and silver, shaped like a bullet. It was the most attractive car Naruto had ever seen.
"This piece of shit? It's a 30 year old Honda. It's still got another twenty years on it though. Guess I should be grateful."
Naruto raised an eyebrow and hissed as the stranger nearly dropped him in the passenger seat. He felt somewhat claustrophobic when the door closed because the inside was so bare. It was as if he was seated on a couch and the windshield was a movie screen. He felt his legs stiffen as they became inactive.
From beside him, the boy got into the car.
"My name is Shikamaru Nara, by the way."
Naruto gasped as the vehicle started, and felt himself gripping his seat. He felt the engine groan from beneath him and his eyes widened as the car lifted itself from the sidewalk and hovered midair.
"Naruto." He managed.
The car took off, and Naruto closed his eyes. He had never been good with roller coasters, and at the moment, that's what this car felt like to him.
"You're weird as fuck." Naruto heard Shikamaru say.
Naruto grunted as the car took a fast left. He twisted his head in the seat to face the driver. He licked his lips.
"Look, I think something's wrong with me."
The boy looked at him, somewhat bemused. "Obviously. You're afraid of a car ride."
Naruto shook his head. "I've never been in this type of car before…I mean, does it even run on gasoline?"
The Asian boy laughed heartily. "You're joking, right? Gasoline was banned over 70 years ago."
Naruto's eyes narrowed. "What?"
Shikamaru must have recognized the serious tone in Naruto's voice because he quieted his laughter. He eyed the boy. Naruto spoke. "This is planet Earth, right?
Shikamaru nodded. Naruto felt something. A burning sensation in his mind. He wasn't in Colorado—hell he wasn't even near his party. Where was the only place he knew flying cars could exist?
"What year is it?"
The boy did a quick right through a low cloud and answered. "3027. Why?"
Naruto felt his mind reel. 3027? How could it be possible? His chest felt as though bricks had been stacked on it and his head hurt. The tube...the machine he had been in. It reminded him of something. Something he had only thought of now. It reminded him of Sleeper.
As if at once, his memory reeled into him. The discovery, the party, hell, even Jinx sifted into his mind in a fascinating clutter. He doubled over.
"Oh my God," He was breathing hard. He had never had asthma, but if he did, he imagined that this was the feeling he would have. His head hurt and thoughts were violently spinning through. He remembered passing out, and then nothing. He shivered..
"Hey, hey! You alright?"
Naruto shook his head and buried it in his hands, ruffling his hair. "Oh my God." He repeated. Of course he didn't recognize anything here. Of course nothing was familiar. Of course he was in a flying car.
"Oh my God. I'm in the future."
And with that, whatever brake system Shikamaru's Honda used was pushed into motion, and the car slid to a halt.
A/N-- I had the longest arguement with myself on whether or not 3027 is too far in the future.
And then I thought, meh.
