Are you guys pissed? I'd be pissed. You're probably pissed.
I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so sorry. i have failed you.
i was all like "yeah i'm totally gonna update every week" and then i was like "i'm such a horrible person for not updating every week" (cause i have multiple personalities so i can yell at...well myself.
but i am sorry for keeping you waiting. I PROMISE YOU i am not going to just forget about this story. my life has just been one big pile of crazy with starting school and my 5 AP's (yeah, so much for taking easy my senior year), relationships, fighting with my coach cause he was giving away my varsity spot, college applications. etc....
my solution?
i'm dropping out of high school and working at McDonalds. Boys suck and Girls suck so i just decided i'm gonna be a nun (but first i have to be catholic). i'm just gonna stab the girl trying to take my spot on the team, simple. and for college? i'm hiring an asian to do all my work for me.
i know i know, i am a genius.
but remember: me no geto medicaly lingo...comprendo?
...right...and i obviously don't speak spanish either (ignores the three years of honors spanish she took) but i'm not going to be a doctor so i don't really give a damn. this is Amanda's world so again, if i want Jessie to grow flippers? So shall it be....but i won't...that'd be awkward.
ok this song is "BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT" by Matt Kearney. As always, enjoy.
Katie made an attempt to open her eyes, instantly shutting them once the brightness of the light hit her. The pain in her chest made her reluctant to move. She tried again, blinking a few times to adjust. Her eyes scanned the white room.
Looking down, she couldn't stop the smile from forming on her lips at seeing a mess of blonde hair splayed out. The young girl breathed in the lavender sent of the blonde's hair, and let it out, savoring the scent. She reached out and pushed some of it back, revealing a sleeping Jessie, with Katie's hand close to her lips, being held in a tight grip.
"Beautiful…" the word traveled quietly passed her lips. As she shifted in the bed in an attempt to sit up, Jessie began to stir. She picked her head up and brushed her hair back. Looking up she was met by a smiling Katie.
"Hey you." Crystal-like tears started to fall from her eyes and her breathing became heavy. Katie moved her now free hand up to Jessie's face and stroked her cheek. She scrunched her eyes in confusion, the smile never leaving her face. "Why are you crying?" Jessie's tears fell faster with that statement and she tried her best to choke back a sob. She grabbed hold of Katie's hand and leaned into it, placing a few kisses on the palm.
"Oh Katie..." She turned her gaze back to Katie, meeting the older girl's sparkling eyes. In one swift motion she stood up, grabbed Katie's face, and began to plant kisses everywhere she could; her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, and her chin. For a moment, Jessie just stared at her, taking in every little detail, her eyes finally landing on her lips. She leaned in closer to greedily kiss Katie, with everything she had before pulling back to get a good look at Katie and the grin plastered on her face.
"Well, that's a hell of a way to wake up." Jessie let a small chuckle pass her lips, relief setting in briefly. She leaned in for another passionate kissing, pulling away soon after to stare into Katie's eyes.
"God, i thought i lost you."
"Hey i told you, i'm not going anywhere." The blonde lifted her hand to the other girl and stroked her hair back.
"I'm going to go get the doctor, okay?" Katie nodded.
"I'll be right here." Jessie kissed Katie one more time before standing up and walking out of the door. Katie took a moment to look around the bare room and sighed. "Question is, why am i here?"
The coffee in Rick's hand sat there forgotten. It had gone cold an hour or so ago without his realization.
"Mr. Sammler?" His eyes drifted up to see two young men. Both were at least six feet tall and well built. The one who addressed him had short dirty blonde hair and dark circles under his eyes, as if he had not slept in days. The other had eyes that shined just like Katie's. His hair fell in front of his eyes and his face was unshaven. "Hi. We're Katie's brothers. I'm Gabe, this is Parker." Rick stood up and shook their hands.
"You're family is almost as big as mine." They all forced out a small laugh to break the tension before settling back into the awkward silence. "I'm sorry about what happened to your sister." Gabe nodded.
"We just wanted to say thank you, for taking care of her." Rick nodded again.
B+W testimonial: Rick: It's hard for a parent to just stand there and watch their child suffer. The worst is not being able to do a thing about it. When Jessie cried...I mean, it was so easy when she was younger. Give a three year old a cookie and they're suddenly happy. Now she needs a Katie...I don't have one of those.
"She's awake! She's awake!" Everyone in the waiting room rubbed the sleep out of their eyes and stood up as the blonde teenager ran into the waiting room. The girl's smile carried over her whole face, giving long lost color to her cheeks.
Katie squinted at the intensity of the light shining from the end of the doctors pen being waved in front of her face directly into her eyes. He placed it back into his pocket.
She hissed when the icy chill of the stethoscope touched her back a few moments later.
"Breathe in, breathe out." Katie did as she was told, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
"Now follow my finger." Katie listened to the doctor again, following it left to right. After a few moments the doctor picked up his clipboard and scribbled something down.
"I umm I feel a little stiff? Like i'm having trouble moving," Katie whispered, a little unsure if she should tell the doctor. Without looking up he addressed her.
Well Ms. Singer, you know the heart's a very important part of you body."
"Well Duh," Katie attempted to whisper to herself, but actually saying it a little louder than she meant to. The doctor only smiled.
"MY POINT is it's responsible for a lot in your body. The bullet destroyed a lot of it. We're going to have you attend physical therapy sessions in order to get your strength back."
"Thank you doctor," Ethan said, receiving only a nod from the doctor in reply.
"All right we're running some tests right now. I'll come back in a few hours with the results. Until then take it easy, ok? Now Nurse Romaine is going to change your bandages so I ask everyone to wait outside." He flashed Katie a smile and nodded at the other occupants of the room before turning and walking out of the door, followed by Katie's brothers. As Jessie started to leave, the injured girl grabbed her arm, halting her movements.
"Stay?" The blonde nodded and took a seat beside the bed interlocking her fingers with Katie's. She watched as the nurse began to strip the bandage covering the girl's chest but quickly turned her head away, unable to look at the raw flesh. "Babe, you ok?" The blonde nodded, still not looking up, as the nurse replaced the bandages and left the room. Katie gingerly reached out her hand and lifted Jessie's chin so the other girl was looking her in the eye. "It's not as bad as it looks. It doesn't hurt. Everybody bleeds this way. It's just the same. Doesn't mean I'm in trouble. Ok?" Jessie shook her head.
"No, not ok. This isn't like you just felt off the slide and scraped your knee Katie. You were shot. They weren't even sure if you'd live. What if those tests come back and we find out you have something seriously wrong with you?" Her grip tightened on the older girl's hand.
"You're having doubts aren't you? That i won't get better?" She let out a sigh.
"No. Not exactly. I just worry." Katie patted a spot on the bed next to her.
"Come here. Tell me." The blonde hesitated for a second before cautiously taking a seat on the bed and leaning back onto Katie's pillow, careful not to move the bed to much. The brunette snaked her hand down and grabbed Jessie's hand once again.
"I thought you were gone. I don't know what i would've done if you left me."
"I told you, I'm not letting go. I'm not leaving you. If everyone goes away, I'm still going to be here with you." Jessie shifted her head to look at Katie lying next to her.
"Promise?" She smiled and nodded her head.
"Promise. The worst is over."
The eldest Manning daughter stood in front of the vending machine biting the nail on her finger, her eyes scanning the shelves.
"I'd never trust a vending machine food from a hospital." She shifted her head to look the man up and down before turning back to the machine.
"You're Katie's brother." He smirked.
"How could you tell?"
"Same cocky attitude." She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing at his reaction. He laughed and shook his head.
"Names' Parker. My sister isn't dating you, is she?" She looked at him again with her eyebrow raised, then back at the food.
"No. I'm Grace. You're looking for Jessie." The man tucked his messy brown hair behind his ears, only causing it to fall in front of his eyes again.
"So...then why are you here?"
"Jessie is my sister. And Katie is my friend." He nodded and watched as she lifted her fingers to the buttons dropping her arm back down to her side.
"Is she nice? Jessie that is."
"Well I may be biased because she's my sister." He put his hands in his pocket.
"I'd like to hear your opinion." Grace let out a sigh.
"She's annoying, she acts like a child and she'll flip out on you for calling her out on it." She turned her head to stare into his brown eyes.
"But if you're worried about her with Katie, don't be. As corny as it is, they seem to fit perfectly together. Like a puzzle or something just as rediculous." She turned back to the machine once again and reached out for the buttons. She let her hand drop once again with a frustrated growl. He smiled and bent over, pressing the keys. The vending machine dropped the food and Parker picked it up through the slot, holding it out for Grace.
"I say you can't go wrong with chocolate." She looked between him and the chocolate bar before smiling in gratitude and taking the offer.
"Thanks for your help."
"No thank you." The young man grinned before walking down the hall and leaving Grace alone. She turned back to the food and put another dollar into the slot.
"Now, if only i could remember what Eli wanted..."
"Jess?"
"Hmm?" Katie looked down briefly.
B+W testimonial: Katie: I'm not sure if i really want to know.
She was awakened out of her stupor by a hand under her chin, guiding her eyes up to meet sparkling blue ones.
"What are you thinking?" Katie took Jessie's hand off of her face and placed it in her lap between her own.
"What happened?" Jessie scrunched her eyes in confusion.
"What do you mean?" The brunette bit her lip.
"I can't...remember...I mean, we were in the library and then i woke up here..." Jessie swallowed.
"You don't remember?"
"It's a little fuzzy." The younger girl lifted up her hand and brought it gently to the other girl's chest, slowly tracing the wound hidden under the nightgown.
"Tom...he umm...he shot you...do you remember?" Katie nodded as her eyes drifted toward a spot on the white wall.
"He...he was going to hurt you..."
"Yeah...but you saved me. Katie, you saved all of us. You're a hero."
"That's a pretty heavy title...what happened to Tom? And the others?" Jessie ran her hand up and down Katie's arm.
"I umm...I really don't know. I haven't really thought about it....I've only been thinking about you." Katie turned back to meet a pair of cloudy blue eyes. She tugged on Jessie's hand, pulling the girl into her arms.
"After...after he shot you...Katie, he's dead. He shot himself." Jessie had trouble reading the emotion on her girlfriend's face. The blank stare was overpowering. "I know....I know you were friends...are you ok? Baby?" A few seconds went by before the other girl looked at the blonde and nodded.
"Yeah, yeah...I'm ok."
"Can i come in?" Tad poked his head through the door that was slighty ajar, taking a peek at the bed.
"No, you have to stay out there all day." She couldn't wipe the smirk off of her face. Her friend put on a fake pout.
"Aww, please?" She rolled her eyes.
"Fine." He smiled and entered the room, closing the door gently behind him. As he sat down on the edge of her bed he reached into his pocket and pulled out a candy bar, handing it over to her, causing Katie's eyes to light up like a child. "I knew there was a reason i loved you." The girl quickly ripped off the wrapper and broke off a piece, shoving it with greed into her watering mouth. "Oh so good. Don't tell Russel, but you're my favorite." He let out a small laugh.
Tad waited patiently for her to finish the chocolate, choosing to entertain himself by playing with the strap on his sling. Katie swallowed the last bite in no time, tossing the wrapper to the nightstand beside her and taking a real look at Tad for the first time.
"So how is it?" He looked at her and shrugged.
"It makes me look tougher." He reached out hesitantly and took her hand. "How are you?" Katie shrugged back.
"It doesn't hurt until i think about it...or move...or breathe. But other than that i feel great," Katies stated in an attempt at dry humor. He smiled.
B+W testimonial: Tad: Even after all of this, she can still make me smile. Goes to prove she's insane as ever.
"Tad?" He came out of his thoughts and looked at her.
"Hmm?" Katie stared intently at her hands in her lap as her fingers gently grazed the smoothness of the blanket.
"I just...I need to know what happened. I didn't want to ask Jessie so..." She trailed off, biting her lip gently. Tad took a deep breath.
"After Tom...you know...well Jessie was panicking. The whole room was. I think Tom was upset that even...well even with you being in the state you were in, you managed to hold the room's attention." He closed his eyes, as if it could help him recall the details of the event. "I heard this loud bang again. When i looked over, all i saw was Tom on the ground. He umm...he shot himself. The cops came in, paramedics; they took you away, declared Tom dead at the scene..." He reopened his eyes and watched Katie, trying to find a reaction to the information, but unable to determine how she was feeling. She sat there, still focusing her attention on the blanket, although her fingers had ceased their movements.
"Is he the only one who-" She stopped her sentence, seeing her answer in Tad's face as he shook his head. "Listen, i didn't want to ask Jess about this but i need to know. What about Liz? Is she ok? Did she..." Katie couldn't bring herself to ask. The boy reached out his good hand, resting in on her folded knee.
"They brought her here. I haven't checked on her in awhile. Last i heard she was doing ok, or at least a little better than you. I'm not sure if she's awake yet." The brunette let out a sigh of relief and leaned back onto her pillow.
"So...do you want to play checkers or something?"
"I bet he means a lot to you." She nodded. He pointed the gun now to Jessie, causing the blonde to freeze in terror on the ground. "I bet she does too." Katie stepped in front of her.
"Don't kill her. Please don't. She has nothing to do with this." He lowered the gun.
"You just said it Katie. Life isn't fair. So why should it be any easier for you? I lose everything while you get to be happy? You can't have both." He paused. "So you have a choice. Who am I shooting here Katie?" He waved the gun back and forth between Tad and Jessie, waiting for Katie to tell him who to stop at.
Hey eyes scanned the room, looking at the terror plastered on her classmates' faces, silently praying that someone would come and make this decision for her. She walked in the direction of Tad, stopping a few feet in front of him.
She looked at Tad, leaning against the heater on the floor. The girl next to him was trying to stop the bleeding with an old shirt. He looked up at her with heavy eyes, searching for an answer, silently asking if he was going to die. The blood made her want to throw up.
When her head turned toward Jessie, her heart was yanked out of her chest. The tears freely falling from those blue eyes were too much for her to handle. The blonde stared back, wishing this wasn't real. In that moment, she realized the answer to Tom's question had already been decided for her.
"Me." Jessie's eyes went wide; matching everyone else's in the room. He raised his eyebrow at the brunette.
"You'd die for them?"
"Yes." She answered without a moments hesitation.
"No Katie, don't!" Jessie pleaded, but Katie ignored her.
He cocked the gun, letting the sound ring in everyone's ears. The tears were falling faster from Jessie's eyes. The two boys next to her held her arms, holding her back. She didn't care if they were trying to help her. She screamed for them to let her go.
Katie stood there staring at Tom, not the gun that was aimed toward her. For the first time since she entered the library, the fear had left her eyes. The gun didn't scare her. But the fact that the person holding was a friend did. She remembered growing up with this seemingly normal boy. It was hard for her to believe this was happening.
Tom's hand finally squeezed the trigger. The bullet spiraled in the air, cutting through the fabric of Katie's shirt. Blood splattered onto the ground. The force of the bullet caused Katie to be pushed backwards. It was in slow motion. Katie's body went limp and started to fall.
"KATIE!"
"JESSIE!" Katie shot up in bed panting and drenched in sweat. Hearing the monitors go off, Gabe woke up from his slumber, running to her side and rubbing her back. She felt as if her head was exploding; the dream pushing her away and pulling her back in. She felt sick to her stomach.
"It's okay Kat. Relax. Relax. Breathe in and breathe out. Shh it's ok." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, turing to look at her brother.
"Jessie-"
"Is okay. She went home with her parents. She'll be back in a few hours." The monitors slowed their beeping as her heart rate went down. Gabe bent down and kissed her forehead. He wrapped his arms around her and gently rocked her. "It was just a dream sis." Her hands gripped tightly around his shirt and she rested her head on his shoulder, gently shaking.
"A real tragedy. Fifteen students, including the shooter, and four teachers were reporter dead at the scene. Another eight have since died. Twelve other victims remain in critical condition at-" Jessie ripped the remote from Zoe's hand and shut off the television.
"You shouldn't be watching this."
B+W testimonial: Zoe: Normally when Jessie does this we end up getting into a big fight. I mean, who is she to tell me what i can and can't watch on t.v.? (bites her lip) But i guess this is kinda different.
"Sorry, i was just trying to find something to watch." Jessie ran her fingers through her hair.
"I know. Hey I'm going to go see Katie. Anything you want me to tell her?"
"Just that i'm glad she's ok...and that when she gets better i need her to help me cook for my bake sale." The older girl grinned and ruffled her sister's hair.
"I'll be sure to pass the message along."
Katie repeatedly pushed the button on the side of the bed, becoming agitated with each passing second.
"Geez i bet this isn't even hooked up to anything." Just then the door knob began to turn and in walked Jessie with a smile on her face. Katie looked up at the girl, then down to the button, then up again with a smirk.
"Much better than a nurse." The blonde walked toward the bed, her face showed her confusion but held her smile.
"What?" The older girl shook her head."Nothing...so hi." Jessie bent over and pecked the other girl's lips. She pulled back but kept her face within an inch from Katie's face.
"Hi back." The brunette frowned.
"That's all I get?" The young Sammler rolled her eyes and leaned forward but stopped short upon hearing the door creak open and immediately stood up, although she kept her hand on the girl's arm.
A nurse with ginger hair walked in with her back to the two girls, dragging a wheelchair along behind her. She left the chair by the door and walked up to Katie with a smile.
"Can I help you?"
"What?"
"You pushed the button."
"Oh yeah, right. I need to use the bathroom."
"Oh well there's a bedpan right-" Katie waved her hand.
"No I want to go to the actual bathroom." The nurse raised her eyebrows, slightly taken aback by her frankness.
"Umm ok then. Why don't i just bring the wheelchair to you and-"
"No i want to walk."
"Katie," Jessie said in a warning tone.
"Please?" The nurse let out a sigh.
"How 'bout you walk to the wheelchair and see how you do?" Katie responded by throwing the blankets off and dragging her legs over the side of the bed. The nurse put her arm around her waist for support and helped her off the bed. Jessie sat down on a nearby chair as she watched her love on wobbly legs attempt to stand by herself.
"Katie relax."
"I've been in that bed for three days. I want to move on my own."
"Just let the nurse help you."
"No, I can do it myself." Jessie couldn't help but giggle at her childishness. Even the nurse couldn't hold back her smile, though she had been so uncomortable just seconds before. Katie stumbled, falling before the nurse pulled her back up. She let out an exagerated sigh.
"Geez. I just want to go to the bathroom. It shouldn't be this frickin difficult." The nurse spoke up.
"You've only been here a short time. It's going to take a little longer before you're better and until then you have to give yor heart a break and let people help you. Now hold onto my arm. Hold tight." After a few shaky steps she arrived at her wheelchair and, wth the help of the nurse, sat down. Katie crossed her arms and huffed.
B+W testimonial: Katie: This is going to take FOREVER! (sighs) I just want to go home already. (smirks) Maybe Jessie wouldn't mind being my nurse.
"What are you smiling about?" She looked up to see Jessie with her eyebrows raised. The older girl just smiled bigger.
"Umm...I love you?" It came out as more of a question than anything else. The blonde arched her eyebrow.
"Yeah, i'm sure," she said skeptically. "Now go. I'll be here when you get back." She bent down and kissed her cheek before the nurse wheeled the girl out of the room.
The tapping of the doctors fingers was all that could be heard in the hospital room. After a few minutes of silence, Katie let out an exasperated sigh.
"Do you have to keep doing that?" The man's movements ceased.
"Ok Kathyrn, these sessions are mandatory, and i want to know w-"
"It's Katie." She interrupted him.
"Ok. Katie. What do you want to accomplish from these meetings?"
"Isn't it what the school wants to accomplish? Having everyone see shrinks?" He shrugged his shoulders.
"That's partially true. But i want to know about what YOU want Katie. These sessions will ultimately be for you. What do you want to do?"
"I just want to move on. Put all of this behind me." He jotted something down in the notebook in front of him and nodded.
"So you haven't broken down yet?"
"Well it's not like the world is going to stop moving on. I'm just playing it by ere. One day at a time. I just have to make it through another night. Then another. Then another. Soon I'll be out of here and everything will be fine." Another nod.
"You really believe that?" She bit her lip.
"Look I...I just want to get out of this hospital. I don't want to think about what happened. I just want to go home." He took off his glasses and put his notebook down on the nearby table, resting them on top of it.
"Your brother told me you had a dream last night. Woke up screaming." She swallowed the lump in her throat.
"It was nothing. I can' t remember it."
"Katie. You have been through a tramatic ordeal. You survived a massacre and it's important tha-"
"Don't call it that!" He was taken aback by her stern voice. Her fists clenched tight on their own accord, her breathing much more shallow than a moment ago. He replaced his glasses to their original position on his face and picked up a notebook, scribbling something down.
"I want to help you Katie." Her eyes darkened.
"I don't need your help. I'm perfectly fine." He put his notebook into his suitcase and picked it up as he stood.
"It was nice meeting you Kathryn. I'll see you next week." The man walk out of the room, leaving Katie glaring at the door.
"It's Katie..."
It was well passed visiting hours. The hallways were quieter than normal, only a few scattered nurses and doctors. The medicine wasn't as strong as she hoped and it took a little longer for her chest to stop hurting. She was amazed that her brother convinced the hospital to let Jessie stay the night. 'I guess after everything that happened with the shooting, the doctors are being a little lenient.'
Katie looked left to the window and saw the glow of the full moon and the stars. She looked to her right to see Jessie curled up in her arms. The light from the sky illuminated her features, giving her an angelic disposition. She took a deep breath; in and out, in and out, the lavender sent of Jessie's hair filling her lungs, replacing the pain in her heart with a pleasurable warmth. Her eyes leisurely dropped and she soon fell into a deep slumber.
=)
so if you liked it? you should review and tell me. if you are pissed that it took this long for a new chapter and you actually had to re-read the other chapter because you forgot what happened? you should review and tell me. If you like apple pie? you should review and tell me.
