Introduction: Second Floor
The Second floor was designed the same as the first floor, with seven rooms.
~*Room 201*~
Wesker had just returned from his stroll around the castle -- looking for a place for a secret lab. It wasn't easy to find one -- but he managed. Things wouldn't be easy with Leon and Chris on the same floor, but he'd manage.
It was just his luck to be assigned the room that he was. His own roommate, was Alucard -- A vampire. Alucard would provide him much valuable test data -- with or without his approval. It would give him ample time to study someone who was born undead. It also helped that Alucard slept during the day time. This would provide him plenty of time to do his experiments without anyone getting too suspicious.
On the other side of the common room, was GLaDOS, a super computer. Though GLaDOS, for the purpose of this contest, created herself an avatar, the computer herself could be used for many purposes. And Wesker figured that she'd want to go along anyway. Her avatar might even help keep her roommate away -- as the avatar was designed to be a very attractive woman. And GLaDOS's roommate was Commander Shepard.
Shepard was the wild card in this. Wesker didn't know much about her, other than that she fancies women, and that she had reached the Commander rank. But it didn't seem like she'd be much trouble for him -- after all, she didn't seem too interested in what anyone at the castle was doing.
Wesker walked back into the common room, where he saw Alucard walk in from their bedroom.
"Wesker." Alucard said politely.
"Alucard." Wesker responded, just as politely.
"I'm going to check out Jeane's Item Creation shop. Please don't follow me there."
Wesker grunted. Hus roommate didn't trust him, that much was apparent. But there was good reason for him not to be trusted. There were many things Wesker wanted to learn about Alucard, many things that Alucard didn't want Wesker to learn.
Alucard left the dorm, leaving Wesker to go to the girls' room alone. Inside, GLaDOS was the only one there. Or at least... her interface. Her avatar was nowhere to be seen. Wesker went over to the interface, and touched it -- just barely.
"Oh, you haVe got to be kidDing me." GLaDOS said. "Did yOu really think that I was not hEre? Were you pAthetic enough to tHink that without my avatar that I cOuld not moniTor this room as well? Do nOt make mE laugh!"
Wesker grunted.
"WeaRing sunglasses aT night. You tRuly are pAthetic. MaYbe evEn more paThetIc than Chell. NoW go on, yOu may use me for wHatever you waNt You have permiSsion."
Wesker cautiously approached Glados again.
"Go oN now. I said that yOu couLd use me. You doN't think that thIs is some kinD of trick do you? HaVe I lieD to you? TodaY, I mean."
Wesker attempted to use the interface provided -- but then was hit by an electrical shock.
"Hahahah! Did You beLieve me? SeriousLy? You reaLly aRe Pathetic!"
Wesker grunted, and then ran out of the room.
"Aww! RuNning awAy! ThaT's no fuN!" Glados said.
Wesker realized he couldn't just mess with Glados however he wanted. He'd have to... improvise. But he'd have to save that for another day.
~*Room 202*~
Ganondorf waited patiently for his roommate to enter. Being paired with an assassin was a major advantage for him. The right price... is all it would take for him to kill off Link and Zelda, and claim the tri-force for himself. He didn't care about the rest of the contest -- once he had the tri-force, he could cause all the havoc and mayhem he wanted.
He had yet to meet his roommate, Altair. He didn't see him in the common room. But he'd have to show up sooner or later. What Ganondorf didn't expect - was him to come in from the Window.
Ganondorf grunted, spooked a little. "I have need for your services, Altair."
"I'm not killing Link or Zelda for you." Altair said. "Get the hitman across the hall to do your dirty work for you. Niko Bellic."
"I don't want him. If I wanted something messy..."
"If you want it done at all, you won't ask me. Because I refuse."
"Is this about the contest?"
"No. It's about integrity. Link and Zelda are innocent."
"According to whom?"
"From what I've seen. You're the bad guy, Ganon. If you know what's good for you, you won't ask me. And you won't ask Ezio either. Now I've got business to do."
With that, Altair grabbed something off the bed, and as quickly as he arrived, he left.
"Dammit!" Ganondorf yelled, as he punched a hole in the wall. If he wanted to kill Link and Zelda, he'd have to do it the old fashion way. Manipulate someone else into doing it for him. Not Niko, though. He didn't trust the man with the funny accent. But Kratos on the other hand... yes. Getting a god to do his dirty work? It was a plan that sounded... perfect.
~*Room 203 and 204*~
"I'm loving the college dorm theme we got going, here" Leon said as he strutted through his common room. He, his suite-mates and the four in the room next door to him decided to have an impromptu "floor meeting," even though less than half the floor was present. "It makes sense that they put us here together. We're the college kids! Young! Hip! Good with the ladies."
Duke gave a laugh and slapped Gordon on the back. "Well, some of us, at least." Gordon glared at Duke, as if saying 'you'll get yours' with his near-sighted eyes.
"So, in honor of the college theme," Leon started again, "I though we'd swap some college stories to get to know each other. First, an introduction: You all know me already, but I'm Leon S. Kennedy. I fought zombies in Raccoon City, and I've taken on deranged Spanish people while rescuing the President's daughter. Then after I escaped an explosion by zooming out of a cave on a jet ski, she asked me to bang her right there in the middle of the ocean. I told her 'no thanks, bro,' because I'm cool like that."
Ellis clapped, but then stopped when he realized nobody else was. Leon was unphased by the lack of interest in his story about being hit on by the president's daughter, and moved on.
"Anyway, when I was in college, I totally met this Thai chick named Skye. She was so hot. We were making out at this really awesome party, when all of a sudden she got a boner. Turned out her name wasn't "Skye," it was Ash, and she wasn't a woman at all. I still hit that, though."
"Oooookay there, that was a bit much information," Eddie said as he quickly jumped in. "I know who I'm not letting crash at my room anytime soon. I guess I'll go now to cut Leon off before he goes into detail." With that, Leon sat back down, again not bothered by the fact that people were more disgusted with his story than impressed.
"The name is Eddie Riggs. I was transported to a far away land and to a world where metal rules. I played guitar like an ace, now I'm in this place, to beat the **** out of all of you." Eddie's audience was unimpressed by his rhyming ability. "As far as college goes, I was the lead guitar in my band, and one time I got this girl to show me her boobs. That was great. Then I took her backstage and we were totally gonna do it, but then her boyfriend kicked down the door and I took out my guitar and shredded so hard that his face melted off."
There was silence, before Gordon butted in. "I… don't think that's scientifically possible, Eddie."
"What do you know?! I bet I went to college longer than you, Science Boy. Best nine years of my life. If you had a better college experience, then come up here and share!"
Eddie sat down and crossed his arms. Duke muttered 'this should be good' to HK-47. Leon was more supportive, as Gordon was his roomie, but didn't seem too confident in him overall.
"I'm… Gordon Freeman. I have a PhD in… Uh, science, I suppose. I won't get into the details. I love long walks on the beach and spunky, short haired girls…"
"This isn't a dating site! Get on with it!" Dante said, finally looking somewhat interested in the whole affair.
"Fine! Fine! I fight headcrab zombies and I try my best to liberate the world from evil alien overlords that were ushered in accidentally by my former employers Black Mesa. And… I… Don't have any college stories! I was in my room studying the whole time!"
"Ha! I knew it!" Duke scoffed.
"BUT! I did have a brother: John Freeman. He was the star of the track team in high school and he hooked me up with a lot of hot chicks. When I was 25. And they were 17."
"Statement. At least they were females, unlike Kennedy's close encounters with the male kind." HK-47 chimed in.
"Hey! He was a very nice lady!" Leon retorted.
There was a snort, and Travis Touchdown, who had been sleeping the whole time, woke up. "Where the hell am I? Who are you?"
"Travis, if you had bothered to get up when we called you," Leon started, "You'd know this is our official floor meeting and that we're swapping college and origins stories. Now get up there."
Gordon sat down, ashamed, and Travis dragged himself up to the center of the common room. "The name is Travis Touchdown. I bought a laser sword off eBay and then killed a buncha guys to become the world's #1 assassin. Seriously. That's my origin. If you don't like it, then… I guess I'll just chop your balls off with my sword."
Dante snorted. This was another stealth-brag that didn't go over well. Travis continued:
"Yeah, so, I guess I don't have many college stories. I use to pwn noobs in Yu-Gi-Oh! and I would always throw my two cents in during my game design and Japan Study classes and this one kid would always groan when I did it so I flashed my katana at him and he screamed like a little girl. I'm so awesome."
"Query. Is this a fabrication of the truth? Because that seems highly unlikely." HK-47 responded to Travis' outlandish story.
"Well, maybe, but at least I didn't make out with a dude."
"Hey! How did you—" Leon started.
"It's hard to sleep through something like that," Travis said with a chuckle. "Gives you night terrors. Who wants to go next?"
"Statement. I suppose I'll go," HK-47 began. "I'm skipping my origin because I don't feel like sharing, but I'll gladly give you a story."
"Recollection. One time, at Tatooine University, I was a member of Robot House, which was where all the robots seeking a fair education were stuck. We were shafted by the dean, until another robot who hated humans perhaps more than I do joined the House. He was built to bend girders, but he taught us to do so much more. We ended up winning the kayaking competition and royally pissing off the Dean. It was fantastic."
"BOOOO-RING!" Duke said with a yawn. "Let a real man step up to the plate." Duke took the place of his robot roommate, who he didn't bother showing much respect, and began telling his origin:
"I'm Duke Nukem. When my father, Odin, cast me out of Asgard, I found solace in the U.S. Army, who wouldn't take me because my father had given me a wimpy mortal body. So I was given a Super Soldier Serum that a radioactive spider fell into, giving me the abilities of both a spider and a super soldier. Then my mutant powers were triggered by the event, and I sprouted claws from my hands and was gifted with super healing."
The group leaned in, for once enthralled by a story.
"My memory was erased when I was hit by a gamma bomb that gave me the ability to turn green and super strong when I'm angry, but I was also blinded and gained super senses, hence my constant need for sunglasses. My healing factor couldn't help the pieces of shrapnel embedded in my chest from the bomb, so I had to build a super magnet that kept them from penetrating my heart. This magnet also powers my super suit. However, the metal I used to make the suit was exposed to cosmic rays, so now I can turn into rock, set myself aflame, stretch my limbs and turn invisible.
"To few I am known simply as Duke Nukem, but by night I watch over the city of New York as… MARVELMAN!"
Ellis once again broke into applause, but was stopped abruptly by Dante, who simply said "Bull ****ing ****. There is no way that's true. Where the hell is the magnet in your chest, then?"
"Aww, damn," Duke said, "I knew I should have worn a shirt for once today. That story always helps me pick up girls at the bar… And as for college stories, I never went to college, but I've banged more chicks than you could possibly imagine. I've saved the world countless times and I hope to do so again once my twelve year hiatus is over…"
"You guys are all weaksauce," Dante said as he stood up suddenly. "It's my turn. I'm Dante Sparda, son of one of the greatest demons of all time. I never went to college. I don't need college. And I can kick your ass." He then sat down and folded his legs.
Ellis clapped again, but this time he didn't stop until he got up and took Dante's place. "I'm Ellis, I kill zombies with my buddies," he said in his thick southern accent. "Speaking of buddies, did I ever tell you about the time me and my buddy Keith went to college? We didn't actually go to college, but we borrowed Keith's uncle's steamroller and went through the University of Savannah parking lot crushing all the Honors Students' cars. That taught them to be smarter than us," Ellis beamed. "Although the cops showed up after like the second car. I made a break for it but Keith got hit in the face by a can of tear gas. He was crying like a baby before he even breathed in any gas! It was hilarious!"
"ELLIS!" Leon interrupted, "We get it: You're an idiot."
"Least I don't swing that way," Ellis retorted.
"I am NEVER gonna hear the end of this, am I?!" Leon said with a hand on his forehead, covering up his disgust with himself.
"Oh, and I also play bass in my band," Ellis finished.
"BAND?!" Eddie said, excitedly. "I play lead guitar and do vocals! Does anybody here play drums?"
"I dabble with the drums," Travis said "I played in my school band."
"EXCELLENT! Or, at least, good enough," Eddie continued, his excitement not quelled one bit at Travis' mere high school level of experience, "Does anyone else here play guitar?"
"I've got a guitar," Dante said, "but it's actually a hot chick who takes the form of a guitar."
"Oh, uh, cool, I guess! A guitar is a guitar, regardless of the boobs on it!" Eddie said. "Do you know what this means?!"
"Yeah!" Ellis chimed in, "All our suite mates play instruments! Hot dog!"
"No, you moron!" Eddie said, "We can start a band!"
"You have to be joking," Dante said, rolling his eyes.
"Do I look like I'm joking?" Eddie said, putting a very serious look on his face, "We can't pass this opportunity up. Our first rehearsal will be… Right now!" Eddie sat up, grabbed his suite mates by the collars, and dragged them all out the common room door.
"Well, looks like this floor meeting was good for something…" Leon mumbled to himself.
~*Room 205*~
"God Dammit! Those ****ing kids in the room next door are having a ****ing party. They need to ****ing learn to keep it down. Kids these days..."
"You're sounding like an old man, Cid." Chris said. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous that you weren't invited."
"And you're any ****ing better? Your friend Leon decided not to invite you either."
"I think he's just jealous that we got to share a common room with two girls." Chris told him.
"Aww we weren't invited to the party either!" Rikku whined. "That's no fun!"
"Yeah, I'd totally have loved to have went! I bet the party is totally hot!" followed up Flannery.
Cid laughed. "You kids, and your god damn parties."
"I'm sure they didn't invite you, because they'd have to invite us, then." Chris said. "Their loss if you ask me."
"Totally!" Rikku replied. "We can have fun all by ourselves, right dad!"
"I'm not your god damn father!" Cid said. "Just cuz' we share the same name, doesn't mean we're the same ****ing people!"
Rikku laughed. It was funny watching Cid get upset.
"Side's, if we were related, I'd be more like your Uncle. Your dad's much younger brother."
Flannery laughed. "Yeah, whatever pops!"
"Aww ****. Not you too..."
Flannery and Rikku giggled together. "Hey, Rikku! Wanna take a ride on my Charizard?"
"Sure!" said Rikku, and they ran off.
"****ing kids..."
~*Room 206*~
"Dinner's ready!" said Brock, as he carried food over to the table in the common room. Room 206 was filled with the aroma of home cooked food. It looked absolutely delicious, and it was Brock's specialty. "Bon appetit!"
"Mmm! This is good!" said Ash, sitting on the other side of the table. "I'm so glad I get to share a common room with you! You're cooking is the best!"
"Thanks, Ash!" Brock replied. "I made some for Missingno and Pikachu too. Though I wish I could have brought Onix as well."
"You mean your... pets... eat special food?" Edgeworth asked. "Noted."
Phoenix laughed. "Well, what did you think they ate, Edgey?"
"Well, Wright. I figured they ate food sold in bags, much like dogs and cats from our world."
"OBJECTION!" Phoenix shouted. "Some pets in our world eat specially cooked food."
"Hold it. Where's the proof?" Edgeworth countered smugly.
"Rachel Ray dog food!" Phoenix said, smiling. "...and the proof is this!"
Phoenix held out a bad of Rachel Ray dog food. "Rachel Ray is a famous chef, and yet she makes dog food. Take that!"
Edgeworth face palmed himself. "Wright... why do you have a bag of dog food on you?"
"Oh ehheh..." Phoenix laughed nervously. "I thought this might come in handy."
Edgeworth shook his head. "I can't believe you Wright."
"So Brock, why didn't you bring Onix again?" Ash asked. "I mean Professor Oak didn't even know what Missingno was."
"Yukiko said not to." Brock explained. "Oh Yukiko. You're sooo beautiful! I love your laugh!"
Edgeworth shook his head again. "Looks like they paired up the weirdos, eh Ash?"
Ash laughed. "Yup! Guess so. Glad we're roommates, then Edgeworth. Since neither of us are as weird as those two!"
After Brock finally stopped fawning over Yukiko and regained his composure, he was ready to explain how he was given his invitation by Yosuke and Yukiko.
"Yosuke and Yukiko came into my gym. They faced off against my gym trainer, Liam. I keep telling him that a geodude and a sandshrew isn't enough. But he just won't listen. Anyway, Yosuke beat him with ease, and then.."
~~*FLASHBACK*~~
"Excuse me... are you Brock?" Yukiko asked.
"I CAN BE IF YOU WANT ME TO BE!" Brock said. "Wait... I AM Brock. Why are you looking for me? A gym battle? A date? a marriage proposal!?"
Yukiko shook her head. "Uh no... we want you to come with us in this tournament."
"I'd go anywhere with you!" Brock replied.
"Uh... that's good."
"CAN I HOLD YOUR HAND? PLEASE?" Brock shouted, grabbing her hand quickly. Yukiko responded violently, slapping Brock in the process.
"Oh! Sorry!" said Yukiko, realizing what she had done.
"It's okay! You can slap me anytime!"
"So... you'll come with us?" Yosuke asked.
"Who are you?" Brock asked.
"...Yosuke."
"THEN WE WILL DO BATTLE BEFORE WE GO!" Brock said. "That's how it goes. Besides, you want to see my Onix in action don't you, Yukiko?"
"Umm... not really."
"My Onix is rock hard. You can't penetrate it's defenses!" Brock said.
"Yeah, but we're more interested in Missingno." Yosuke told him.
"Oh... that... Thing. Well it's not exactly battle-ready. So I'm just going to use Onix."
"Alright, just so long as you only bring Missingno with you to the contest."
"If it means meeting a lot more pretty girls like you, I'll bring a Bidoof! Or a Magikarp even!"
Yukiko couldn't supress her laugh anymore. "Snrk.... a magikarp. THAT'S A GOOD ONE! AHAHAHA!"
"You're laugh is so pretty!" Brock said, stars in his eyes as we looked at the young innkeeper. "But first, I'll battle with Yosuke. Onix go!"
"Alright... I choose you Professor Ivy!" Yosuke shouted.
"DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME!" Brock shouted as loudly as possible.
"Huh? What's wrong with my Ivysaur's name?" Yosuke asked. "Nurse Joy told us that we should give it a name, and I thought Professor Ivy..."
Brock curled up in the fetal position. "Never mention that name again... never. Please. DO NOT BRING HER UP!"
Sweatdrops appeared over Yosuke and Yukiko's head. Neither knew what had happened between the two of them.
~~*End Flashback*~~
"Anyway, after that Yosuke beat me in battle and you know the rest, Ash."
"So wait... what happened between you and Professor Iv--"
Before Edgeworth could finish his sentence, Brock had his hand over his mouth. "We'll just... forget about this okay!" Brock said.
Edgeworth shook his head. "I'll find out what happened. I won't let this remain a noodle incident."
"Good luck with that." said Ash. "I've been trying to get him to tell me what happened with Professor... you know who for a few years now."
"I'll get to the bottom of it." said Edgeworth, as Brock went to clean the dishes. "I guarantee it."
~*Room 207*~
"Anybody else feel like we might be in a bit over our heads?" The Prince of Persia asked as he peered out the window at the placid lake below. "I think that's a giant turtle down there. How the hell do you fight that?"
"Make turtle stew!" Drake smiled as he sipped a cold one.
"And the ladies go crazy for turtle skin shoes." Ezio smiled as he tried to figure out how to open his can of beer. "How…"
"It's not hard, genius. Just like this," Drake said as he demonstrated on a fresh can.
"Really, guys, I'm not always the one to get nervous before a big fight, but I don't have my lifeline here to save me if I'm about to die," the Prince said, turning from the window.
"Oh, well sorry if your girlfriend isn't here to yell at the big mean turtles once they get the best of you," Drake said. "Relax. Have a cold one," he said as he tossed one to the Prince.
"How do you open these damn things again?" the Prince said as he looked down at the can. There was the a metallic slashing noise, and, out of nowhere, the top of the Prince's beer can flew off into the air and landed neatly on the tip of Ryu Hayabusa's kunai. He twirled it around smoothly and then gave it a clean toss right into the trash can.
"What a show off!" Ezio remarked, "Look at the ninja with all of his fancy ninja moves! Well, you may be a ninja, but you'll never be able to pull this off." Ezio stood up and flipped his cape over his shoulder in an incredibly cool way, spun around in a 360, then fell back into his chair with his legs crossed. It was very simple but at the same time incredibly cool.
"Yeah? Well, I can totally do this." The Prince unsheathed his sword and threw it up in the air, and it came down and landed with tip-to-tip contact with his pointy glove. He balanced it there for a few seconds before tossing it back up and having it land right into his sheath.
"Tip-to-tip! Prince, I didn't know you swung that way, but I respect that," Drake said with a wink. He took out his pistol, twirled it around his fingers, then tossed it up, kicked it as it fell behind his back, and caught it again. He whistled and did this weird "click click" noise as he winked and pointed his gun at the Prince.
"I think we've firmly established that we're the epitome of cool. At least here at the castle." Ezio remarked.
"No, I think that'd be Sub-Zero," Ryu said with a smile that could be seen under his mask.
