A man named Michael W

A man named Michael W. Smith also wrote and sings this song. I like it but it's not my first choice selection to listen to. Unlike the songs of chapters 1 and 2 this song appears on a different Cd. And we can't forget about Disney no matter how hard we try.

Oh, please reach out to me
Open my eyes to see
I'm running from you now
Come rescue me somehow

Why can't they put more comfortable chairs in here? I'm sure they figure people will be seating here quite awhile. Would get padding on them be that difficult or expensive? I don't remember how long Carey, Annie and me had been here. I'm not sure at what point Ned had arrived. Everything was speeding by almost useeable yet at the same time seemed be frozen. My mom. All I want to know is she ok? But they're speaking and not telling us anything. I feel like a little child being told it's a "grown up" conversation. If she was fine I surely would have been told. Then that means…… Damn it! Here come the tears again! Crying won't do any good, still I can't help it. No one can.

Another million miles from the truth now
I know there's peace but I can't seem
To figure out how
To stop this race that's taking over me
I'm under the gun I wait for you to see

They brought her right behind the blue curtains of the emergency room and exhort us to this room. I don't know how we reached this part. Everything was fine, perfectly out of the normal. Then Carey came over with the look of terror in his eyes. I was going to follow him up the stairs to see what was bothering him. But I know mom and him have a special relationship he might have wanted to confide in her alone. I wish I had followed him up there, because I could have been able to spend a few extra moments with her. On the ride over the three of us said nothing. Annie played with the radio stations that resulted in Carey turning it off. So we were in silence just the thoughts and pain in our minds were loud enough to echo in a stadium. Now as I wait I want to step back into time so I can enter mom's room before she did what she did.

Oh, please reach out to me
Open my eyes to see
I'm running from you now
Come rescue me somehow

Did I cause this? Did I fail as her son? I must have done something wrong! She was happy and fine when Fi was here, did I not bring her happiness? Now isn't the time to find someone to lay the blame upon, it's a time for hopeful thoughts. But I can't find any. Annie is in the far side mumbling to herself, must likely to that leopard, panther or whatever it is. Carey has his father with him. I have no one. The door opens and the doctor steps in. His face gives no induction of the type message he is about to deliver. I'm not ready to know yet, I'm afraid to hear his words. I want my mommy! I place my elbows on my knees and put my hands over my ears and start to rock back and forth. I feel Ned's hand on my back and a soft whisper of it will be all right.

Another scar from fighting the truth now
Has left me like a stranger to my need now
A masquerade, a game to figure out now
A cruel charade I cannot scream aloud

If the doctor's face is carefully hiding a frown then I am now an orphan. Even if your four, eighteen, or forty three having your parent or parents dead sucks. No words can describe that feeling which lives inside of you. I easily become jealous of Carey and Clu. My friends through out school and around the neighborhood. Including Annie even though her parents in a common sense of the word abandoned her. But at least she and all the rest had parents for things like that to happen. I finally regain my composure and look up. My mind racing with two thoughts. Wondering will the last words I said to my mother be I already finished my history homework? The other question is their any chance the doctor is concealing a smile?

A narrow stretch of road in the way now
A heavy load still hanging on to me now
I'm in a maze that I can't seem to get out
Without a view from these shoulders of doubt

Ned continues to stand behind me, leaning his support on to me. Carey takes a seat to my right and pats my knee as if he were my brother. He is my brother. Annie seems obvious of what is going on, I don't care about her at this moment. She doesn't know this family well enough to know of the struggles and tears we have seen from each other. Fiona. She should be here, Irene too, and Clu as well. We tried calling Seattle no answer. Fi is properbly out with some friends having the time of her life unaware of it. I want to be unaware of it all. Irene received the news and is coming but the ride is several hours and there is no short cut to make it shorter. Clu just returned to school from a visit, this morning in fact. I watch the doctor look around the room as if trying to tell if everyone involved with his patient is listening. Then he opens his mouth and says those five words. I'm sorry we lost her. I lose it as well.