Chapter 7
So here I am seven months later about to tell my boss that I have a stalker. How embarrassing. I haven't had to deal with this crap in months and Mr. Creepy didn't even have the decency to wait until I got out of work. Nobody likes to be threatened and especially among people who would get a kick out of it.
It is kind of like the guys at the station betting, they don't mean any harm and would cause an up roar if I actually got hurt, but that is how the amuse themselves with my situations. Now that I think about it, I'm probably going to make someone very rich. I need to start making some money off of these deals going down. That is to say if they even hear about it.
I broke contact from Trenton two weeks after the distraction job. Nobody but a select few even know I'm pregnant. I can't let it get back to Ranger. I couldn't handle the look of disappointment on his face. The knowledge that my baby and me weren't wanted. I want this baby more than anything and nobody, not even Ranger, is going to take him from me.
I still ask myself if I made the right choice. I love Ranger. It took me a long time to accept that sentence and even longer to say it out loud. I love him so much that I was willing to let him have a clean break. I know that if the only contact I had with Ranger was financial, I would die inside each time I saw him. I couldn't handle that and now I can pretend that if he knew about the baby, he would have realized before I gave birth how much he wanted us in his life.
I have gone to many lengths for that fantasy to stay a reality in my head. I don't go to Trenton and everyone comes to visit me. That is the nice thing about being a dispatcher, I don't have to live and work in Trenton to feel close to Trenton. I live and work in Newark now. I still get calls and talk to the guys at the station because of some of the weird shit that comes in. I love it, but I can't visit. At least not until I have my baby, I still don't have a name so for right now I'm just calling him mine.
So here I am about to knock on Jerry's door. He's the only one with an office since the rest of us are trying to direct calls and make sure the city of Trenton can rest easy.
"Come in," Jerry said in his official voice.
I peeked my head in and asked, "Hi Jerry. Do you have a minute?"
"Of course, I always have a minute for our most exciting dispatcher."
"Well you see that is why I came to talk to you. I just want to keep life exciting here and was thinking it was about time I get another stalker. What do you think of this idea?"
Jerry is a great boss. He makes sure that everyone is happy to come to work in the morning. Our jobs are stressful, but he tries to keep it as light as possible around here. No matter how much we joke, we all know that he has our best interests at heart, so when he sat up straighter and looked at me with a piercing gaze I knew I had to explain.
"I got a call and the caller knew my last name. We tried to trace it and found out he was on a secure phone."
He sighed, "You know I was only joking about you needing to bring excitement to this place. I'll have to let the TPD know about this so they can look into it. I'll send them the recording and keep you informed when I get more information."
"Thanks." I was walking out of the office when he called out to me.
"Steph, go ahead and take the rest of the afternoon off. It isn't good for the baby if you stress out."
"I appreciate it."
So I went home and took a nap and dreamt of a world in which I had a perfect life.
(I have never been to NJ and am not sure about the towns or how far Newark is from Trenton other than what a map shows. I know that to dispatch it doesn't have to be in the same town, so hopefully it isn't too weird. Let me know what you think, all the reviews have been great.)
Chapter 8
I woke up a couple hours later. Since it was Friday and Jerry sent me home, I called the girls and asked if they wanted to make a trip out.
When I decided to move, Mary Lou, Lula and Connie demanded to know why. I knew they would take the secret to the grave if I asked them and so far they have held true to their promise. I was proud of them too. Some of the biggest gossipers of the Burg and they haven't let one word slip out.
Now that I have another stalker, I'm sure more people will know about the pregnancy. For right now the girls, Joe, Eddie, and my family are the only people who know about it. They have become my lifeline.
I've tried denial with the one other person who knows. All my hard planning and staying out of Trenton and one man could bring it all down.
I sat down and thought about seeing Tank at the mall:
I was far enough along to need to start buying maternity cloths. Well at least larger fitting jeans since mine had become a little bit too snug. Denial wasn't working for me when my body decided to keep getting bigger and bigger. It is a good excuse to go shopping though.
I was still able to wear my old shirts, but some of the snugger ones showed my swelled belly. Unfortunately, when I walked out of the maternity store I had my jacket open because I was uncharacteristically hot. Another great symptom of being pregnant, oh joy. Of course I had to run into Tank when I was walking out. By the surprised look on his face, I'm guessing I've done a pretty good job of hiding my pregnancy from Ranger and all his men. Guess that's when happens when you work just a little outside the burg. Everyone doesn't know everything about your daily activities.
Right away I started to button my jacket, you know just in case he didn't really see my rounded belly and was just surprised to see me. That could happen.
"Ummm, Hi Tank."
"Ma'am."
I looked around awkwardly and didn't want to look him in the face.
"What have I told you about calling me that? I feel like a senior citizen when you call me that, Steph works just fine. So what brings you to the mall?" Small talk will make everything all better and then I can get back to my normal life. Rigggghhhhhttt.
"Shopping." Standard one word answer.
I'm not quite sure if it was seeing Tank and having the possibility of him telling Ranger or the fact that all the secrecy was bring back bad memories or who knows maybe it is just hormones, but I flipped out.
"Why the hell can't you just have a normal conversation? I didn't ask for your address, I didn't say Tank tell my all your secrets. All I was trying to do is have a normal conversation and you pull the one word bullshit with me. All you strong silent types ruining girl's lives and making them fall in love with you. That's selfish and you should think before you get close to people." I was screaming by the end and I'm pretty sure we both know I wasn't talking about him in the end. I was so embarrassed I started to run through the mall to get away from him.
When I finally got to my car I was able to settle down. I can't believe I just said all that to one of Rangers men. I banged my head a few times on the steering wheel feeling helpless.
What have I done?
