Welcome one and all to my third chapter! Sorry it took awhile! I had some major writer's block, ARGH! Writer's block is a manifestation of the ultimate evil!!
Well anyway thank you all so much for those reviews I adore you all!! And they really helped! So anyway on an even better note today is my birthday!! WOOT!!! I turn seventeen today, all right!!!
Disclaimer:
Me: awww do I really have to do this?
Alucard: Yes you do
Me: but it's my birthday!!
Integra: who bloody cares?
Me: shut up!
Seras: are you two fighting again?
ME: Fine! I don't own FMA or Hellsing or anything else you may recognize! There happy?!
Integra: no
Alucard: You're never happy master
On with the fic!
It was a long, tense, and silent ride back to the Hellsing compound. Seras sat in the back of the limousine Integra had arrived in, while Integra and Alucard sat opposite her, both watching her intently. Throughout the entire ride back Seras never spoke a word, she merely stared out the window with pupil-less, crimson eyes; lost in thought.
Alucard had attempted to read her thoughts twice, but soon gave up; her thoughts were far too chaotic. Her thoughts swirled at a rapid pace around her head flashes of what could only be memory, words, faces, it was a maelstrom even he could not figure out. Alucard had a feeling only Seras herself could make any sense out of her thoughts, and the way her mind was currently set up was like a shield.
Upon arriving at the compound, Integra de-briefed the soldiers then dismissed them all. After they had left, Integra beckoned Seras and Alucard to follow her inside the mansion. Seras trailed behind Alucard meekly, and entering the main hall. Walter appeared out of a doorway holding a silver tea tray, upon seeing Seras the former Angel of Death froze, his grey/green eyes wide.
Before Walter could say a word, Integra cast him a look that plainly said 'not now.' Walter nodded in understanding, and followed them up to Integra's office. "Alucard is that Ms. Victoria?" thought Walter, knowing the ancient vampire could here him. "Yes, it is." He replied then quickly told Walter through both words and memories, what had happened that night.
By the time he was finished they had entered Integra's large office, Integra sat behind her desk, Walter served her some tea, and Alucard leaned against a bookshelf along the wall; his blood red eyes fixed on his fledgling. Integra took a sip of tea then lit a cigar and took a calming puff, letting the smoke out through her nose. After she had done that Integra fixed Seras with a piercing stare, "Miss. Victoria, it appears you have been hiding a great many things from not only the Hellsing organization, myself, and Walter but also your master." Said Integra, Seras looked away, but only for a moment she looked back up at Integra, who looked away for about a second; her pupil-less eyes were unnerving even to the icy Hellsing heiress.
"I am sorry Sir. Integra, but I am afraid we all have things in out pasts and about ourselves, we would rather keep hidden; some of us more than others." Seras replied calmly.
Then Seras sighed, running a gloved, long fingered hand through her now black and blond hair. "But I guess I have no choice, but to explain now that all this has happened." Seras's shoulders were slumped in defeat.
Integra nodded, leaning foreword on her arms resting on her desk, her hands clasped together. "Who was that young man who attacked you, you seemed to know one another." Asked Integra.
Seras sighed again, continuing to run long fingers through her hair, "His name is Envy, and yes, unfortunately we know each other." "Why was he so surprised you were a vampire, why did he laugh at you when he heard us say your name, and why has your form changed?" asked Integra
Seras studied Integra for a moment, and then she switched to Walter and Alucard. Finally she seemed to deflate in defeat, she looked away and nodded. "Fine." She whispered, taking a deep breath Seras began.
"This form is my true form, the form of the homunculus Loss, my true identity, the homunculus of a girl named Seras Victoria who was murdered nigh on four centuries ago." She said, at this revelation, Integra's jaw dropped open, her cigar falling and hitting the floor unnoticed. Walter nearly dropped the tea tray he had been holding and his monocle had slipped off his widened eyes, Alucard was so shocked he accidentally fazed through the bookcase he had been leaning against and hit the floor, hard.
Before they could comment Seras plunged forward into her story, "I was the second homunculus ever made, Envy was the first, he was made four hundred years ago, and I was made fifty years after him." Seras or Loss explained, "There were seven other homunculi other than myself, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Pride, Envy, Sloth, and Wrath; as you can probably tell the homunculi were each named for a sin, but my former master and creator saw fit to name me Loss."
"Though my creator and master did not create all of the homunculi, she created me, Pride, and Greed, while her lover created Envy who was the homunculus of their son who died prematurely." She explained.
Then she looked away again, in shame. "We homunculi would not exist had it not been for my master, we completely obedient and followed all of her orders. Envy and I were her favorites, Envy because he was the first and was very powerful, and myself because I was special, I could do something no other homunculi could do and no one could figure out why I could do it."
"What was it, what could you do?" asked Alucard whom had gotten up off the floor. Loss looked at him, "I could perform alchemy, we homunculi are incapable of performing alchemy because we come from beyond the gate." She said, "Yet here I was more than capable of using it, my master was thrilled."
"I became her tool, her weapon; I did many horrible things while in service to her." Loss said looking down at her hands. "She would orchestrate full blown wars, just because it fit her designs. As her tool I helped considerably, I killed what, and who I was told too, millions died either by my hand or because of my involvement, I killed in battle but I also killed those that got too close to the truth, innocents that merely got in too deep or just simply got caught in the crossfire, she would tell me to kill all those who were close to those who had gotten too close; that meant their families, their children, their friends, those who had absolutely nothing to do with it, and I struck them all down without a second thought." Loss's voice was laced with self hatred and disgust now, as she clenched her hands into fists.
Stunned, Walter asked "Why? Why would you do such a thing?" Loss looked up at him, despair etched across her pretty features. "Because back then, human lives meant nothing to me, to me humans were foolish, ugly, greedy creatures and though I didn't take the psychotic pleasure in killing, that Envy did, I still killed." Then she let out a humorless chuckle.
"It's pretty pathetic really, the real reason I hated humans was because, I was jealous, I wanted to be human myself, and my master promised all the homunculi that if we helped her she would turn us all into humans." She said, "But why? Why would you wanted to become human?" asked Alucard. "The same reason every homunculus wants to be human…to prove that we are real, that we are our own people." She sighed.
"You see even though books and the laws of alchemy tell us otherwise, we have memories and feelings when we are born, they are the memories and personas of the humans that were supposed to be brought back in the transmutation that created us. And those memories and personas are constantly at war with our real selves, trying to turn us into who we were supposed to be, they could win that fight, and it scares me." She explained, putting a hand on her face.
"We wanted to become human to prove that we were our own beings, and we hated other humans for being able to claim that luxury." She said.
"What changed your mind about humans, or do you still feel the same?" asked Integra, eyeing the girl in front of her with slight distrust, Loss shook her head, "no it's different now, it all changed one night about two hundred years ago, I was coming back from a mission my master had sent me on, I had contracted a fatal disease that affected only homunculi, it drained me of my strength until I could barely stand or speak. It was storming and I laid on the ground barely conscious, when a little human girl found me and had her brothers carry me into their hut." She said and her crimson, pupil-less eyes glazed over in memory.
"The little girl's name was Kara; her father was an alchemist, as were her two older brothers. Despite knowing what I was, and my…well…less than hospitable words and actions they took care of me, attempting to nurse me back too health, but because of the illness no matter what they did I merely got worse. But I came to care for the little family, especially Kara; I learned that humans weren't all bad."
Loss took a deep unneeded, shuddering breath, "but then one night Envy came, he had been sent by my master too find me and bring me back. He massacred the entire family before my eyes, while I was too weak to even move." She whispered "Envy took me back to my master's home and she found the cure to the disease, she cured me; but after I was back on my feet, nothing was the same, I began to have nightmares of all the things I'd done, all the innocents I'd killed. I couldn't do it anymore, so when I found my master was trying to start a new war, I betrayed her and tipped off the opposing forces, the war ended without a single loss of life.
Loss sighed again, "After that I ran as far and as fast as I could, I could never stay in one place for very long, I kept moving for two centuries, and then I came here to England, I just couldn't run anymore. So I took on the appearance and name of the girl who I was supposed to be, Seras Victoria."
Loss looked at them all, "I'm sorry for not telling you all, and I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused."
She bowed her head waiting for them to condemn her. Alucard, Integra, and Walter sat in stunned silence, finally Alucard walked over to his fledgling and tipped her head up so she was looking at him, "don't worry Seras, now you are my fledgling and I don't care what you did before, you'll always be my stubborn little fledgling.' He said Walter gave her a kind smile and Integra nodded to her letting her know she felt the same.
Seras looked at them all; wide-eyed then she let a small, true smile light her face.
"Thank You."
Well there you have it! What did ya think? I know there wasn't much action in this one but I had to put in her past somewhere, next time there will be more action but again I need some ideas! So please REVIEW!!!! I need them! Make them my birthday presents! Well till next time! Ciao!
