Jacob's Adventure
Chapter 3
When they caught up to me, Link and Zelda were sweating. I was the one who was running, they were lazily riding Epona! And I wasn't even breaking a sweat!
Hm. I'm usually sweating like a pig on a spit in a cross country race by now. Oh well, I think when I reach Castle Town I'll see what kind of candy they had back then in the medieval age.
They finally caught up to me near the East Exit/Entrance to Hyrule Castle Town. I heard Epona's hooves, and then got even more paranoid believing they were still being chased. "Crap don't kill me!" I yelled. Link stood up on Epona (amazingly not loosing his balance and falling off) and jumped. He tackled me to the ground, and all I could do was say, "Ouch."
"Wow. This kid is fast." Link said.
"How can you tell?" Princess Zelda asked.
"He outran us on Epona for three minutes."
"He did have a head-start." Zelda replied.
"Yeah, but Epona still would have caught up."
"Excuse me, but will you please get off of me?" I asked, now felling much pain in my chest. I am pretty thin and scrawny. (Ashamed feeling)
"Oh, sorry." Link said. He got off of me and then gave Epona a pat, then helping Princess Zelda down.
"Now, may I have some of my questions answered?" I asked as I got up.
"Sure. Ask away." Link said.
"Good. First, how do you two know my name?"
"Long and boring story about other video game files and names and all sorts of other things. Also more simply, a 'connection' is made between the player and the video game." Link answered.
Confused, I answered, "Oh really?"
"Yeah." Link replied. "Would you like to know how Blue Toad and Luigi felt when you kept throwing them off of cliffs in New Super Mario Bros Wii?" Link finished.
"How do you know about that?" I asked.
"The same way we know your name."
"Well, another thing. Why did you, the Hero of Time get on your hands and knees for me?" I asked.
"For one, don't phrase it like that. Second, I knew things would get complicated if you didn't get back through that portal back to your living room. And three, I know what you were thinking the same way I know your name."
"Ok. Then one last thing…"
"Yes?"
"How was I able to jump that high to kick Ganondorf in the face and do all of those moves?"
"I don't know. The moves, well, you have a health bar now, you know, all those hearts. May as well be me. I don't know. As for you jumping high…well, I survive 500 foot drops, so, why not jump a few feet higher? I still don't know."
"Oh. Well, I really just want a slushie! So can we figure out a way to get me home?" I asked.
"Um, well…." Princess Zelda started.
"You see…" Link continued.
"I'm screwed?"
"Um, yeah. Let's go with that." Link said.
"Oh God."
"Not anymore. It's Goddesses."
"Right."
"And you need to ditch those clothes."
"Aw…"
"And you need to learn to live like a Hylian…"
"Fine…"
"And you need to make sure no one finds out that you're from outside Hyrule."
"Ok! Ok! A whole bunch of rules that I now need to follow cause I'm stuck in a frickin video game! I know! Goddesses!"
"See, your getting it already!" Link commented. "What can possibly go wrong?"
"Damn it Link, don't you know that when you say that, things go wrong?"
"…."
"Sorry, I need to get some rest. I feel like I have a 'Metabolism Hangover.'"
"It's ok. You just go get that rest." Princess Zelda said.
"Ok. By the way, does that mean I have to get rid of this extremely awesome copy of Zombieland?"
"Is it from Hyrule?" Princess Zelda asked.
"No."
"Then yes." Link answered.
"Damn. Forgive me Tallahassee!"(Fading Echo)
Author's Note: I think I'm going to keep it up with the Zombieland stuff. The 'Metabolism Hangover' Is what actually happened to my brother yesterday! It was so funny! He and my younger sister stayed the night at his friend's house on Saturday. They Stayed up all night watching Inappropriate movies till 6:00A.M.! They slept for 2 hours. We picked him up at about 1:00 P.M. yesterday. We went to our Grandma's house after that, and he went right in the living room to sleep on the couch! I went to the bathroom and while I was in there I heard that he had woken up. He was fighting my mom to go to the bathroom…in a bedroom! I hurried out of the bathroom to try and help mom fight him back, and then she pushed him in the bathroom. She was talking to him through the door to make sure he was fine, because he seemed like he was drunk. When he came out, he woke up and said he had no memory of what just took place! He fought my mom to take a dump in a bedroom, and he didn't remember it! You should have been there! Hahahahaha! It was priceless! Well, continuing about the story, what will happen next? Well, bad stuff is going to happen, so, I think I'd better practice eating cuckoos…. Now, where can I get a cuckoo in the real world? Hm, I think I'll go to a farm and slaughter a chicken. Screw the trespassing, I'M FRICKIN HUNGRY!
'Review Bonus Topic'- Should I make my character seem like a smart person who does stupid things? Because that's me in real life. I'm not even kidding, I'm a genius who does stupid things. So, What do you think?
