I have lost my faith in the Light.
My name is Nayeli and this much I know.
Prophet Velen said "Come, child, let us walk together." And so we did. The aftermath of my brother's death has left all of us in a state of sickly stupor, as if grief was a malady. I am the only one though to blame the Light for Altaïr's miserable fate. He didn't deserve this, but yet again who does? I have no right to pretend my brother was more deserving than another. We have suffered too many ordeals already, and our people yearn for some peace, at last, if not acceptance. I shall leave them be, but I crave for something understanding, something meaningful, something fulfulling, hopefully more than the Light has ever been for me in a lifetime.
Velen fondly recalls, with his gentle, solemn voice, that I am as much his child as I am the daughter of my father, and that he loves each and every one of us very much the same. I know he has foreseen my rejection of the Light, as he had foreseen the death of my brother, but he does not tell as we all know that he cannot do a thing to change the course of history and the course of future, and that we alone are allowed to decide for our destiny. It is both his gift and his curse. Long before the blind slaughtering of our kin had he seen that most of the world he had known was doomed to die, and fade away in the shadows—like poor Ibtihaj, whose body and soul were left to rot in the dark; like poor, short-lived Shiryn; like Altaïr who struggled with depression for the rest of his life; like so many of us.
As Velen and I part with a smile and unspoken words that will remain thus, he casually mentions what a keen student my friend Altan has become—I overlook the Vault of Lights, where he stands with Farseer Nobundo, lost in one of those intense conversations that seem as sweet and thrilling as the childish misunderstandings we have had for many, many years now. They both wave at me, and I wave back. I wish it was nothing more than a foolish infatuation, but I know it is not and I am aware that it cannot be for the time being, because a lot has to be done elsewhere. Yet I long for him all the more.
I shall leave. It was Altaïr's last wish. I am to take his remains with me to Nagrand, where I shall return his ashes to the land. My mother has beseeched me not to go but if I don't, I shall fail in my duties as a sister. This I cannot allow.
I have already failed as a person.
