A/N: Thanks for all your reviews and special thanks to those who have commented anonymously because I couldn't thank them individually.

Dear Hells Bells, thanks for your comments and sorry I couldn't come back sooner than 2 weeks; of course I prefer a hug to a glare, but RL is more powerful than I am and its glare is kinda scary!

Hope this chapter is worth the wait and you enjoy it.


That night Gibbs didn't go to the hospital; not because he was still blaming Tony, no; in all honesty, he knew Tony too well to even think he hadn't done his best; he just was used to lash out at him and that was what he'd done.

That night he didn't go to the hospital, because he knew if he went, he'd find himself in Tony's room instead of Grace's and he knew he wasn't ready to face the younger man. He knew he had to blame himself for the whole thing and while he wanted so bad to believe Tony could've done more, he knew he'd already worked miracles and he knew he hadn't been fair to the younger agent and now the weight of guilt was even heavier on his chest. He'd been blaming himself from the beginning, but usually he wasn't one to admit to a mistake and he sure wouldn't show it; so the easiest thing had been to lash out at the one who deserved it the least but had always taken it without a word.

The truth was that guilt and grief had blinded him and as one thing led to another, at the end, he'd done something he'd never done before; at least not to this extent and now he wasn't sure he could take it back. He wasn't sure he could get Tony to believe him and forgive him now.

If he hadn't been driving so fast, he knew he would've been able to control the car; but no, he had to drive like a lunatic and put everyone's life in danger. And now Grace was in a coma, Ellie had a cracked collar bone and a concussion and Tony had ended up almost dying; correction, he had died, as a consequence of putting too much pressure on his already weakened body; they'd just been lucky enough to have him back among them and what had Gibbs done? Instead of praising him, he'd gone and blamed the whole thing on the younger man and with so many hurtful words. Gibbs knew Tony's sore spots and he'd deliberately aimed for them, and he was ashamed to remember that he'd felt satisfied to see the hurt and pain in Tony's eyes when he'd said those things to him the night he'd visited him.

And what was worse than anything was that the one who was actually responsible for their accident was still out there and they had no way to find him. Oh, they all knew he was somehow related to the man they had in custody; but they had no evidence to confirm their suspicions as the bullet they'd found was clean of all prints and so there was practically no way to find him now. And with Grace in a coma, Brian Mandy, the killer of two innocent women, would go free.

He'd called Tony a failure, but the truth was that he himself felt like one and everything that he'd spat at the younger man, were the things he'd been feeling about himself.

He knew he needed to fix things with Tony, but he wasn't sure this time Tony would forgive him so easily. Not when the younger agent was already blaming himself and instead of being man enough to confess to his guilt and make sure Tony knew there wasn't a thing he could've done to change this outcome, he'd added to the younger man's guilt.

Damn, he'd screwed up royally this time.

How he was going to fix things this time, he had no idea.

"Gibbs?"

He looked up as Abby stood in front on his desk and called his name.

"You got anything on our shooter?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"How long are you going to avoid Tony?"

"Abby-" He said with a warning tone.

"No." She stopped him. "Do. Not. Try. To stop me again. We've let you do that long enough. Tony is blaming himself and nothing we say or do works. You're the only one who can put an end to it and your avoiding game is actually adding to his guilt. You gotta go talk to him. Why are you avoiding him? Are you blaming him? Are you? Because if you are, I'll hit you and I'll make Tim take you to the scene again so you can see what Tony's actually done. You can't possibly blame him. How could you-"

Her tirade, which, by the way, was drilling a hole into Gibbs' heart, was interrupted by Vance's voice.

"Agent Gibbs, care to explain to me on what ground you've fired one of my agents?"

"What?" Tim and Abby both looked at the Director with wide eyes.

"Which agent?"

"I didn't fire him."

"You fired someone?" Abby turned back to him.

On a rare moment of remorse, Gibbs wished he'd disappear from that room, he wished he could go back in time and not expel his best and most loyal agent from his team. And just how the hell had Vance found out about it? Gibbs had planned to go and see Tony and take those words back before anyone found out.

"I was angry and just told him not to come back to my team." Gibbs said with a resigned tone.

"Your team?" Abby frowned and then her eyes widened.

Vance didn't say anything for the moment; he wanted to see how things would proceed between everyone.

Ellie was too shocked to move from her place and Tim's head was turned to Tony's empty chair. Had Gibbs...? No. It wasn't possible. Gibbs would never do that. Not to Tony; never to Tony and definitely not when Tony had literally saved the day. Not when Tony was hurt so terribly himself doing so.

"You... Tony?" Abby was so appalled she was hardly breathing; she felt she could faint from lack of oxygen, but instead, her hand moved and before she knew what she was doing, her open palm had connected with Gibbs' face.

Everyone gasped. Even Abby herself.

Gibbs felt like he'd just died a little bit inside. Second slap to the face in less than a day. Not that he didn't feel like he deserved it; but slaps to the face from two of the most important people in his life? He suddenly felt twice his age.

"Oh, God. Gibbs! I'm sorry." Abby had tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to... Oh, Gibbs. I'm so so sorry."

"Abby-" He called quietly, weariness and hurt clear in his tone.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs. I didn't mean it. I really really didn't mean to do that. I'd never hurt you. I just lost it for a moment. I swear. Because... Ah, Gibbs, how could you?" Her voice was trembling.

Gibbs sighed. "I was angry. I didn't mean it. I was going to talk to him."

"When?" Abby shrieked. It seemed like she was the only one courageous enough to talk, at that moment. It wasn't all that surprising, though; when it came to Gibbs there weren't many people who'd question him. Abby, Ducky, Vance and Tony. The rest still didn't feel brave enough to do so and they'd probably never get there. "When were you going to do that? Huh? You have been avoiding him all these days. And just when did you find the time to fire him?"

"I did not fire him." Gibbs gritted out.

"Oh, so you thought Tony would just stick around when you told him he didn't have a place on your team? You're pretending Tony would've stayed here this long if it wasn't for the fact that he's extra loyal to you and this team? He could've left thousands of time; he'd turned down offers and promotions just because he was loyal to you; and you didn't even think twice before sending him on his way when you decided to blame him for things that weren't even his fault?" She stepped back. "I can't believe you. I never thought I'd fight you one day for a mistake you've done." She bit her lip. "How could you?"

"How did you find out?" Gibbs chose to ignore Abby's question and every else's accusing stares and addressed the Director.

"DiNozzo called me this morning and said he wasn't going to come back. When I told him it wasn't acceptable, he said you've already thrown him out and he wouldn't stay if he wasn't going to be a part of the MCRT. Oh and he hung up on me when I was offering him his own team."

Gibbs felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. What had he been thinking? Abby was right, Tony wouldn't have stayed if he hadn't been loyal to him. How could he not have thought of this before opening his mouth? "Ignore his resignation. I'll bring him back."

"You'd better do that." Vance nodded. "Because I don't wanna have to answer to the SecNav when she finds out we've lost one of our best agents, especially right after he's done something so praiseworthy. Tell him I'm ready to give him anything he wants if he comes back. Right now, I'd even promise him the MCRT; after all, you seem to be in immediate need of counseling sessions and a psych-eval before you can think about leading the team again."

Hiding his wince, Gibbs grabbed his weapon and just walked out, not saying anything back. He didn't care about the SecNav, Vance, his position or anything else. At that moment, all he cared about was Tony; he just cared about the things he'd said to him that had hurt the younger man so bad and about how he was going to ask for his forgiveness. Hell, he'd readily hand over the reins to Tony if that was what he needed to do to show the younger man that he hadn't meant what he'd said and that he had absolute faith in him and his ability.

He barely noticed when the car's other doors opened and Abby, Tim and Ellie sat in the car with him. Nobody said a word to him, and he hadn't expected them to. He knew they were blaming him and were mad at him; he was angry at himself, too, but for now, he had other things on his mind; he knew if he fixed things with Tony, everyone else would forget about this, too.

What they had counted on was to find Tony is his room, so Gibbs could talk to him and well, make amends; what they should've known was that Tony wouldn't have called from the hospital to let Vance know he was leaving permanently; they should've known that they wouldn't find Tony in his hospital room; that he'd do something as crazy as signing out AMA when his body was still fighting the nasty infection that'd set in due to his scarred lungs and the wound to his side.

When the nurse informed Gibbs that the younger man had, in fact, left the hospital first thing that morning, Gibbs felt the last door of hope had been shut in his face.

"Umm, we should go to his place." Tim suggested.

"He's not there." Gibbs said curtly.

"Why not?" Tim frowned. "He doesn't have anywhere else to go to." He was truly confused.

"Because, Tim," Abby hissed, "he knows we'd try to go to him to talk him out of leaving. Of course, he probably doesn't count on Gibbs being with us, but he still wouldn't want to face us when our fearless leader has so cowardly blamed him for everything and then fired him. Not when he himself believes he is to blame."

Ouch. Gibbs thought. He'd never thought Abby would use the words that she'd always used so proudly to describe him in that sarcastic tone and he'd never thought it'd hurt so much.

"Then what?" Ellie was clueless. "We should just let him go? It can't be an option. Besides, he's still sick, pretty sure he needs to be in hospital."

"Well, that's Tony for you." Tim grinned slightly. "He always leaves too soon; but usually he just does that to come back to work."

"He really is a workaholic." Abby explained further.

Ellie frowned. "But now he won't come back to work. Right? I mean he thinks he doesn't have a job to come back to."

"Right." Tim sighed.

Gibbs listened to his team as they walked back to their vehicle; they were exchanging ideas and treating the whole thing like a case and he hoped they'd come up with something useful.

"But we should double check. Right, Boss?" Tim asked as he sat in the car. "I mean we can't just assume he won't go back to his place."

"Yes, that's a rule after all. And Gibbs never breaks rules." Abby again!

Gibbs wondered if she was ever going to let go of that sarcastic tone; apparently this was his punishment in her eyes and Abby still had hopes to find Tony and bring him back; if that didn't go well, Gibbs knew she'd make his life unbearable.

"Umm, besides, he'd need clothes." Ellie added helpfully.

"Let's go check his place."

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TBC ...


A/N: Share your thoughts with me?

Thanks for all your comments, faves and alerts. I understand if you find Gibbs too OOC and want to stop reading; I just hope you come back and read it later and find it more reasonable by the end of the story.

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