You know those times when you meet somebody or see somebody on television whose life flat out sucks and you think to yourself, "Well at least my life isn't as bad as that person's"? It's a terrible thing to think, really, but we all have at some point. It makes us feel better about our own lives. Well up until now I've been the person who's thought this, not the person it's being thought about. But I know that this is what's going through these boy's minds as I sit here next to my injured father for what has to be at least three hours straight.
I am not crying anymore, that passed about an hour ago. But I know my eyes, which are staring ahead of me at nothing in particular, have to be all puffy and red. My knees are pinned to my chest as I rock slowly back and forth like a character on some dumb lifetime movie. Only a few people are left surrounding me since most of the boys lost interest a while ago. But for a while there I felt like I was on display at a car show, and I was the newest model, so everyone that walked by stopped to stare at me.
The only boys whom remain are Ralph, Simon, and another boy whose name I learned was Piggy (or at least that's what the boys called him). Jack left a while ago, as soon as he realized his pathetic attempts at consoling me weren't helping even the slightest bit. But Piggy still hasn't given up, though his encouragement that everything is going to be ok has long ago become just background noise. Simon and Ralph have taken a different approach and haven't said one word since their mutters of gratitude at Jack's departure.
In my peripheral vision I can see Ralph picking pieces off of a twig he must've found on the ground around him and Simon looking at me intently, a worried look aging his child-like face.
I know I can't stay like this forever, it isn't helping the situation we are all facing at all; all it is really doing is preventing us from coming up with a plan of attack for how to survive on this island and also how to get off of it. But it's really hard to care much about anything when you just found out that your father might be dying - wait! That's just it, he may be dying, he's not dead yet. And while he can't be in control of this situation he would want me to take charge.
"I'm done with this." I whisper, causing the boys to jump a bit at the sound of my voice after I've been silent for so long.
"What was that?" Ralph asked me in a tone somebody would use to talk to a child.
"I said I am done with this, which I am." I say while jumping onto my feet and calling for the rest of the boys to come to me, in order for us to make any plans I am going to have to call a meeting.
"What's wrong with her now?"
I hear Jack ask this in his usual condescending tone and in response focus all of my built up annoyance towards him into a single death glare powerful enough to scare even the strongest of men, which I aim directly at him.
"You want to know what's wrong with me." I start out slowly making sure there is enough venom in each word to express my anger towards Jack. "What's wrong with me is that I am stuck on an island with you, my dad is probably dying as we speak and you haven't stopped annoying the piss out of me since the plane, which probably crashed itself to get away from your narcissistic, pain in the ass self! Add all that up and you want to know what's wrong with me? You! You're what is flipping wrong with me!" I yell, completely fuming now.
Jack just stares at me in shock while Ralph, Simon, and Piggy suppress laughter. Jack notices this and mumbles "whatever" before starting to walk away. I however grab him by the arm to prevent him from leaving.
I see a smirk form on his lips and his mouth open to say something but before he can make the words come out I say, "I think we are going to need a meeting to decide how to go about things." I say this coolly to no one in particular as if my little out burst didn't just happen.
"That's a great idea." Says Jack surprisingly cheerfully for someone who just got screamed at.
"Thank you." I say with a victorious smile.
"Which was exactly what we thought when Ralph called the assembly yesterday."
I ignore his sarcastic remark and go straight into my main concern. "Yesterday? How long have I been unconscious for?"
"It's been about two days now, but don't worry we have everything worked out. We have a fire going so a ship will see it and rescue us and-" Ralph begins but is cut off by Jack.
"And we have hunters to get meat for us; i'm in charge of the hunters." Jack adds with a smug grin. "Ralph is captain; so he's in charge of everyone else, but if you ask me being a hunter is way cooler." He whispers the last part at me causing me to roll my eyes.
"Hmmm…. I don't know. I kind of think being captain is like way cooler!" I say running over to Ralph and wrapping my arms around his neck while pecking him on the cheek in my best impersonation of one of the typical blonde bimbos I assume Jack is used to.
"Whatever, I'm done with this, besides we need meat; I'm going hunting." Jack says obviously pissed off before stomping away like a child throwing a tantrum.
Ralph, Piggy, and even Simon seem very relieved that Jack left and I know for sure I am. As soon as he gets far enough out that I can't see him anymore I take my arms off of Ralph and take a seat next to Simon who has been tending to my father. Ralph sighs and takes a seat beside me.
"Ralph, I think it is someone else's turn for fire watch, SamnEric have been there for a while now and will probably start complaining soon," says Piggy to Ralph who in turn lets out another sigh of annoyance before standing up.
"I'll take fire watch I guess, want to come with me? You're eventually going to have to do this anyway and might as well get it over with now," he says to me.
"Eh, sure." I figure I feel pretty comfortable around Ralph, at least if I have to do fire watch I want it to be with someone I feel comfortable with.
Ralph smiles and begins walking away; I take that as my queue to follow him, which I do. The walk is pretty long and i'm still exhausted from crying but at least Ralph isn't pressuring me to talk, which i'm thankful for. Instead we walk in comfortable silence. Occasionally one of us will look at the other who will in turn smile shyly and then we'll go back to walking without making contact with each other. We pass a couple of the little boys playing and they all stop what they are doing to look at me curiously. I wave at them but they just continue to stare. It doesn't bother me though it makes me smile thinking that even though we're in such a serious situation these little boys can still manage to fool around and have fun, I think that maybe us older kids could learn something from them. We walk up a hill and once we make it to the top I see two identical boys who look about 13 or 14 sitting by a small fire. I figure they must be SamnEric; I smile a wide grin at them which seems to take them by surprise. "We have come to release you of your duty," I say playfully taking a seat by the fire.
The two boys look at each other and then at Ralph and say in unison "Finally!" before jumping to they're feet and giving each other high fives and running down the hill. I can't help but letting out a small laugh at their behavior.
"So, what's your name anyway?" I am startled by a voice surprisingly close to me, I turn my head and see Ralph sitting right beside me and looking at me with an expectant look.
"Oh, it's eh- Bethany but please call me Beth. Bethany makes me sound like i'm one of those snobby rich girls who call their parents mother and father and have coming out parties." I say cringing, my aunt's family is like that and her daughters drive me insane during the summer when my father sends me down there for a week or so.
Ralph lets out a real laugh- the first real laugh I think I've heard out of him. And I like how it sounds, he has a nice laugh it's actually really cute. Its one of those laughs that you could just listen to all day, one of those laughs that you cant just hear and not smile or laugh in return. After everything that's happened lately and after how long it's been since I've heard genuine laughter I couldn't help but to laugh in return.
"So you're Ralph, right?" I ask him even though I know very well who he is, but he doesn't know that and I figure it's the polite thing to do.
"Yeah." He says simply and then we fade into another awkward silence.
"Well this pretty much sucks, huh?" I ask trying to make conversation. When he looks at me confused I add. "You know being stuck on this island, I know it's definitely an inconvenience for me and I can't imagine it was on your to do list either." As I say this I pick up a handful of twigs off the ground and throw them into the fire.
He chuckles. "Yeah, by the way; i'm really sorry about your dad and I know all the other boys are to, even Jack he just doesn't show it much."
"Yeah well i'm not so sure about the Jack thing; I pretty much think he's just a dick who mostly cares about getting in my pants, but thanks."
"Well on the second thought you may be right, he hasn't shut up about the 'perks of having a girl on the island' since we got here."
We share another little laugh. You know, maybe it wont be so bad here, maybe I've just been way to pessimistic. Ralph is pretty cool and there's always a possibility that Jack could get eaten by some sort of sea creature. My dads a fighter so I bet he'll be fine in no time and he'll find a way to get us back to civilization. So really I don't know what there is to freak out about, we should be fine here.
Boy was I wrong.
