A/N:I have a few apologies to make

A/N: Firstly sorry this took so long to post I've been moving and haven't been able to get to an internet connection to post it. Now a big thank you to all the people who've taken the time to review this I really am grateful. This has now been beta'd and thank you for doing that!!

Six months had passed since Kara had ran out on her almost marriage to Zak, and six months since William Adama had told her she was no longer part of his family whilst disowning his oldest son at the same time. Despite this the couple was happy. Lee's bar was doing well and paying for itself. This meant Lee could employ more staff and spend less time involved with the day to day running leaving this up to Liz. This left him more free time to spend with Kara.

She had, had to go back to teaching at the academy after two weeks. Those two weeks had been spent happily with Lee either at the bar or in his bed. She had loved the freedom of those two weeks but flying was in her blood and she was happy to be able to return to her viper after the two weeks and to teaching again.

The bar was in the city itself and far enough away from the Academy that most of the students and staff didn't occupy it but close enough so Kara could spend her evenings there and her nights with Lee. Although the occasional group did stumble through from the Academy they rarely returned although there were a few who came back regularly and were well aware of where the great Starbuck spent her free time and with who.

Helo had become a regular fixture at the bar. For him it was a cheap place to drink, he was never short of a game of triad or company. He and Liz had become firm friends and teased each other endlessly when he came in. Lee had worried in the beginning that Helo would carry out his usual love em' and leave em' routine but it seems that Liz had seen straight through the ploy and politely told him to frak off. From then on they had become friends who respected each other but as Liz often told Lee 'nice guy but too much ego for me'.

So everything had settled down and with each passing month Kara had spent more time at Lee's place and less and less at the quarters she had been given on base. It was about three months before Lee suggested she gave them up completely and just move in with him. She had agreed and so on one fine day in the summer everything from Kara's small apartment was moved into Lee's house. With her painting being set up in the spare bedroom so she had her own space.

The only problem to be found was what to do about Zak. Adama had told them not to contact Zak or Caroline Adama and so at the start they stayed away. But as the weeks went on there was a guilty feeling that would not leave either of them alone. Kara decided she owed Zak an explanation, even if it just was an edited version, but she didn't know how to get in contact with him. So the guilt remained.

That was until Zak had taken matters into his own hands and seek Kara out demanding an answer. He had gone to the academy to find her and to find out why she had left him at the altar with no explanation then or since.

"Why did you do it Kara? What had changed so much since the night before that made you run like that?" He asked in the voice of a small boy asking about something he shouldn't really know.

Kara looked Zak over and realized what an affect her leaving had on him. She had been living happily with Lee and had almost forgotten the mess she had left behind her. It was at that point that she decided a lie would be the kindest thing to do; the truth would be too painful.

"You were too good for me Zak. As I stood there looking at myself in that dress I realized that there was too many things wrong with me and that I couldn't marry you knowing it would have made us both miserable eventually." She had taken a pause here that was mostly true because despite how much she wished herself different she knew eventually she would have had an affair, if not with Lee then with some other man, so perhaps it was better to leave when she had.

"I did love you, Zak, but not enough to make you happy for a lifetime. You're a good man with a kind heart and you can do so much better than me." She was cut off when Zak started to reply.

"Don't make me out to be better than I am, Kara. I'm not too good for you. Love doesn't see those things and neither do I. You put yourself down too much, Kara. You are a good person and I still love you Kara we could make this work." He pleaded with her and it was at that point that the room became too small and Kara had to leave.

"I'm sorry, Zak, but I can't. Too much has happened. I need to move on and so do you. Find a woman who loves you as much as you love her." And with that she ran out of her office and down to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach.

She had felt guilty with the lie she had told Zak that she felt queasy until she had made it into Lee's arms later that evening. She had told him everything that had happened and the things she had told Zak. He had agreed with her that it was the best thing that could have happened given the circumstances. And she thought about it she realized that it may have been the best thing at least he knew it was over and he knew that there was no chance there anymore.

And so their lives had gone on. It seemed that everything was working out for the pair until two months later when their world was turned on its head yet again. It seems the Gods had another plan for Kara Thrace and Lee Adama and it was not going to be an easy road to be on.

The phone had rung at the bar, Lee had stopped what he was doing a wave of fear running threw him. He didn't know why he had the feeling but something's from his days of being a pilot he couldn't shake off and his senses of the when something was wrong was one of those things.

He took a deep breathe and answered the phone knowing whoever was on the other end of the phone was not a bearer of good news. He sat listening as his mother told him of the death of his younger sibling while sobbing here heart out. Zak had been in an accident while on a training mission; his viper had gone into a spin and he hadn't been able to control it, causing him to crash.

His mother had held it together long enough to tell him the funeral would be in three days at the military cemetery near the academy. Then she hung up the phone. Lee sat there feeling numb; he didn't know what to do. He had lost his younger brother. His only sibling and despite the fact he had not spoken to Zak for over a year he felt a sense of overwhelming loss.

And the longer he sat there the longer he realised the last words he had ever spoken to his brother were words of anger. The last actual conversation they had, had was when he had told Zak that he was leaving the service and opening a bar. The last word he had said were that he was leaving and he didn't need the support of someone who didn't believe in him.

"I need to get out, Zak. I've had enough of being told what to do and how to live my life so I'm getting out and doing that I want to do. Can you not get that?" He said to Zak trying not to lose his temper.

"No, Lee. I do understand that, but there more to it than that. You love flying; it's what you've wanted to do for as long as I can remember. So tell me what has changed so much in the last few months that you are running away from what you love?" Zak said not even trying to contain his anger. It seemed that the youngest Adama was going to have his say.

"I've had enough, Zak. That's what happened. I'm done with the fleet and I'm done trying to please a father who doesn't even acknowledge me most of the time. I do love flying, but it's not what I want my life to be anymore. I need something more and leaving the fleet is going to give me that." Lee knew he couldn't tell Zak the real reason: he was leaving was because he wanted something he couldn't have. Specifically, his brothers' girl. The best plan he'd come up with was to get away from that was to leave the service, and therefore leave the one thing he and Kara had in common.

"You don't want to tell me, that's fine. But don't use Dad as an excuse to walk away. Be a grown up and the make the decisions for your own reasons." Zak had made a move for the door by this point unable to understand why his brother wouldn't tell him what the problem was. "And perhaps if you got your head out your arse long enough you'd see how worried Mum and Dad are about you, never mind wondering why you've yelled at them and told them not to speak to you. They just want to understand, Lee. Just for the record, I still don't know why and frankly I don't give a frak right now. But you owe them an explanation." It seemed he had said what he had to say but Lee wasn't finished.

"I told them, like I told you, my reasons for leaving the fleet. They couldn't accept that so I walked away. This is something I need to do, Zak. And if you can't handle that then perhaps you should join the rest of the family in ignoring me from now on." With that he shut the door on Zak and the rest of his family.

That was the last time he had seen Zak, who apparently had taken his words to heart. It also seemed that his hope that walking away from flying would take him away from Kara had been a false one. She was clearly determined to stay with him even if he did walk away, something he had not counted on.

He'd thought walking away from his old life would solve everything and remove him from the complications his feelings were causing. Unfortunately, Kara had her own plans and wasn't willing to leave Lee behind at that point. So he had solved half his problems and finally removed himself from his father's shadow, but left himself in the sphere of Kara Thrace.

Of course now the problem with Kara had resolved itself: she had changed her mind and he loved her with all his heart. But despite how happy he was, he couldn't quite reconcile how Kara had come to be with him; She had run out on Zak at the altar and, despite his best intentions, Zak would never know the true reasons. Perhaps that was best.

Lee didn't know if his father had told Zak the real reason why or had kept him in the dark. Either way, Zak had never come to see him and so he assumed his father had told him nothing or just agreed with Kara's story. And the thing that made him feel guilty was that he was relieved that he had never had to explain it all to Zak directly.

After the altercation with his father, he'd worried Zak would stumble into his bar one day to find him and Kara. The relief he felt at the end of every day when that didn't happen left him feeling even guiltier.

Then a sudden thought hit him: he was going to have to tell Kara what had happened. Despite everything, he knew that Kara had loved Zak; she had told him that herself. He had no idea how he could break the news, but better it came from someone that she loved and not a random stranger.

Just as he picked the phone, the door opened. Kara was standing there, tears rolling down her face. It seemed someone else had beaten him to it. He moved round the desk and pulled her in to his arms and held her as tightly as he could. Then the tears that he hadn't realized were there began to fall as they mourned their shared loss.

BSGBSGBSG

Three days later they left the house, Kara in her dress grays and Lee in a black tailored suit. The day had started out cloudy but they had now cleared to leave a clear sky. The weather didn't really seem fitting for the occasion but Zak always had loved the summer, so perhaps it was right.

They arrived at the graveside just as the service began. They stood at the back of the small crowd that had come to say goodbye. During the service Caroline Adama had said a few words about her son that had brought tears to both Lee and Kara's eyes.

Lee had held Kara's hand through out the service and he wasn't sure if it was for his benefit or for hers. All he knew was that he doubted he could have held himself together without Kara. He needed her more than ever now.

Still, as he stood looking at the casket, he wished for all he was worth that things had been different. That he could have talked Zak out of flying Vipers, or even flying at all. That he could have still been on speaking terms with his mother and Zak and that his last words to Zak weren't ones of anger but the biggest thing that he wished he could change was how his love life had worked out. That perhaps he could have walked away from flying and actually left Kara behind to be happy with Zak and with his family.

And with that thought a feeling of nausea swept through him. Had he really loved his brother? If he had been a true brother surely that's what he would have done, walked away from them both and left them alone to be happy? Instead he had tried to walk away but had eventually taken Kara with him. He turned his head slightly to look at the woman clinging to his hand and knew that he wouldn't have changed anything about their relationship. He loved her too much to have walked away from her. Maybe that's why he hadn't truly tried.

He would look forward to the days when she would come to the bar when it was new. The hours he would spend neglecting other customers just so he could sit and talk to her. Even if it was about things to do with Zak or the wedding which always left him with an empty feeling. And now his brother had gone to grave never knowing quite why the woman he had loved had left him on his wedding day.

The ceremony had finished with a 21 gun salute and the crowd around the grave had begun to disperse. Some where returning to his mother's house for a wake, but Lee knew he likely won't be welcome. He walked towards the grave and looked at the coffin before reaching out. Kara had done the same thing. "I'm so sorry, Zak," came the quiet words from the woman next to him and he nodded unable to say anything.

They both turned and walked back towards the car. Lee stopped short and instead walked towards his mother. "Hello, Mom," he said quietly, realizing just then that Kara's hand was still in his.

She turned to look at them, then down to their joined hands before replying "Your father told me the reason the wedding didn't happen. I didn't quite believe him until today." She made her statement with a look of disgust written clearly on her face. But it seemed she wasn't finished, adding "And it's your fault Zak is dead. He came to see me three days ago and told me he knew about you. He was so upset that he had to find out not by either of you treating him with respect, but by seeing the two of you acting like teenagers and 'making out' in your bar. He was so upset he couldn't think straight, so much so that he crashed his viper! I thought you loved him but obviously not so now I have to bury the one true son I had!" And with that she walked away from her other son.

Lee stood stunned as he let the words his mother had said sink in. Zak had known about them and as he realized this a wave of nausea swept threw him. He had to leave the cemetery now, the feeling of Zak's ghost and the reason he was dead was pressing down on Lee.

It was only as he tried to move he was reminded that Kara was still standing beside him. He turned to look at her and saw a look of guilt frozen on her face. They both looked at each other. Zak had always been a concern for both of them but in the last month they had become so comfortable with each other, they had become lost in their own little world which consisted of the two of them.

He remembered the two of them at the mall but not what had happened while they were there and he definitely didn't remember Zak being there. He pulled Kara to him and held her tightly. He knew she would take his mothers word to heart whether or not they were true.

He let her go and reached out for her hand. They both began to walk back towards the car and away from the sight of their most recent guilt. Lee looked back one last time and said a silent goodbye to Zak before walking away hoping the worst of the day was over.

It turned out he was wrong. As they had returned home another surprise had been waiting for them in the form of transfer orders for Kara. Not just any transfer orders but orders for her to join the crew of the Galactica.

They both sat staring at the piece of paper that was sitting on the table in front of them. Lee felt the feelings of resentment for his father return and strengthen. He had a feeling that his father was probably doing this out of spite or some misguided loyalty to Zak. He sat there feeling like his whole world was falling apart. He had just buried his brother and now the woman he loved more than anything was being taken away from him as well.

As he sat in the kitchen if their home, he didn't know where his life was going or what was going to happen next. For the first time since Kara had come into his life permanently he felt completely lost.