A/N: Thanks to all of you who reviewed! I have to admit I was freaking out that you guys were replying so quickly; I was pressured into writing quicker, but that's a good thing-keep it up! Thanks again. For this chapter I am taking a suggestion EC4me made. This chapter will be Edward's point of view and leaning on towards what he felt about Bella in highschool and why he made a decision to let her move in with him. It's going to start off with the ending of last chapter basically being retold by Edward and move onto other thoughts and such. I am hoping this won't be confusing so please enjoy!

Disclaimer: Twilight and it's characters are all created by Stephenie Meyer.

Edward's pov.

The Roommate

The Drug to My Addiction.

Isabella Swan was one of the most dangerous creatures known to man. Only she was capable of turning a nightly outing into an emotional fest. When we had gotten to the club I strictly told her to stay away from other men and people she did not know. I saw the look of confusion on her face, but I knew she wouldn't believe me if I told her why. I watched her closely until she disappeared and was out of sight.

I told myself I would give her only five, ten minutes tops. If she didn't return by that time, when she actually did come to find me I hated to admit it, but I would chew her out for it. After five minutes and she was still not there-I began to grow anxious. And this is where the whole 'emotional fest' thing comes in. It neared ten minutes, no Bella and I grew aggravated and worried. Fifteen minutes, still no Bella and I was completely frustrated by then.

After twenty minutes Bella finally showed up. She was very still and I could tell she wanted to do something, say something, but she couldn't. Even from where I stood her pupils were dialated and her body was dripping with sweat. As I saw her worry came over me and I was at her side in an instant, grabbing her shoulders to support her from falling.

Right as I grabbed her, incoherent giggles started erupting from her. I stood still, confused as to why she was laughing. I stared in awe as she grabbed and removed the clip from her hair and let it fall down, slow motion. Parts of it flew onto her shoulder and the rest smoothly laid across her back. This seemed to ease my worry somehow and it turned into desire that I was suddenly feeling. I knew I shouldn't feel like that because something was clearly wrong with her.

"Bella are you feeling-"

I wasn't able to finish my sentence as her finger pressed against my lips, stopping me. I didn't mind that, but when she slowly traced my bottom lip was when I drew the line. She bit her lip and still didn't remove her finger. The way she bit her lip sent me over the edge, she was messing with me surely. Pay back for how many times I've made her blush earlier in the day. But somehow this didn't seem like her at all. Certainly she wasn't one for revenge.

This wasn't a very oppurtune time to be thinking for so long. I grabbed her hand hastily and put it down back at her side. That seemed to upset her and she whined as she spoke. "Come on, Edward. Play with me."

My thoughts were mixed and I couldn't think clearly when she was this close. She hid her face into the nape of my neck and I cringed because her skin was hot. This explained why she was drenched in her own sweat. My jaw clenched as she began picking at the collar of my shit. I didn't know what she was doing, but her lips were drawing closer down my neck. I reacted quickly and grabbed her wrists to stop her.

It hit me that she had to be drunk. It explained her long abscense and why she was acting like this. I could only imagine the trouble she went through just by finding me. For some reason I was disappointed in her. "I thought you didn't drink?" I snapped and shoved her further away from me. If she was indeed drunk I wasn't going to allow what she was doing any further.

She laughed. Laughed. She told me she detested drinking because of the after effects and yet here she was laughing because she just did something she hated. "I don't." She replied simply.

This wasn't the Bella I was speaking to before we even came here. Maybe she wasn't who she thought I was. Maybe she wasn't the girl I longed for since highschool. It surprised me, but I was angry with her. She tried pressing herself closer, but I still kept her as far away as possible.

I pulled away when her hot lips brushed against my knuckles. She took this as her chance and wrapped her arms around my waist and I held up my hands, refraining myself from touching her because I knew, spite my anger, that I would give in if I did. I pinched the bridge of my nose to try and remain calm. "Bella, this isn't you. Why are you acting like this?" I was praying this wasn't the real her. It wasn't the seductiveness that bothered me, it was that she was only acting like this due to something beyond her own will. It bothered me she did something she said she hated; it was like she lied about the whole thing.

"Shh." I felt her breath against my skin and this wasn't like before when I was the one to make her breathing uneasy. Before it was cool, rapid, and light. But now it was warm and heavy and driving me insane. She removed her arms from my waist and for a second I felt relief, until they landed on my chest. Her fingers began messing with the buttons on my shirt as she moaned, "Please.."

My eyes shot open as I exhaled sharply. I didn't pull away because I was too lost in the warmth of her body pressed to mine. Nothing ran across my mind, nothing made sense, and for one moment I didn't care what she did. But when she proceeded to unbutton my shirt I thought more clearly and grabbed both her wrists in one hand tightly, so she couldn't pull away. "Cut it out Bella. Whatever is wrong with you, you better tell me. Now."

"Oh don't be a Mr. Grumpy Grump." She toyed with the flaps on my collar and sank into me more. I didn't understand why she kept drawing herself closer, wasn't she close enough as it is? "I feel so tired, Edward. But I want...need you."

She was tired? My face went calm and my previous hopes of this not being the real her vanished. It wasn't her, she's been drugged. It explained the intense heat of her body, the change in personality, and why she was all of a sudden tired. I was certain that it was a type of drug to knock someone out so the person that gave the drug could do anything they wanted and have the one being drugged not remember a thing. I didn't take her as the one to be so blunt about what she was feeling. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I-"

I cut her off by placing my hand over her mouth. I stared at her sternly, trying to make her understand. "Bella. You've been drugged. Some guy probably wanted to get you in his bed and tried making it simpler by drugging you so he could just do it and leave you in a place where you won't remember a thing."

"Don't be silly, Edward. If that were the case.." She stirred and yawned as she stopped mid-sentence. "Then why is it.. that I ran to find you after he forced that drink down me? Hm? Why was it when I did find you all.. all I could see was you."

That was true. Why did she come to me? I was certain that whatever drug she was given would make her stay with whoever placed it in her. I certainly couldn't believe that the drug made you go to the person that was on your mind when the drug started to kick in. "There's no way you'd feel like this if you were sober." I ignored her questions and wrapped her right arm around my shoulders while my left arm went around her waist to stable her.

Her head rested on my shoulder and even through my shirt I could still feel how warm her skin felt. It cooled down a little so I took it that the drug was wearing off finally. Bella's breathing went ragged as she tried to talk more, I could've sworn she'd start hyperventilating. "No..I've felt this way... about you.. since.." She paused once again and I started to worry that she'd pass out from breathing so hard. "Since.."

Cutting her off, I made sure my tone was nice and angry so she wouldn't dare protest or change the subject. "Bella, tell me who did this to you." She must have noticed the anger in my voice because she pointed directly to the bastard that did this to her. I turned to find the man and he wasn't much bigger-in height- than myself. I scowled finding a smirk on his face. He must've thought he'd get away with what he did. I placed Bella against a wall and sternly told her to stay while I dealed with this guy.

All he did was look towards Bella, pretending I wasn't even there. "There you are little vixen." He had taken another step towards Bella and my jaw clenched tighter. "Now why'd you run away like that?"

Because you're a vile oaf trying to corrupt an innocent woman. Maybe that explained it enough. Or maybe it was your scent, so horrible it would repulse anyone in your path. I stepped infront of Bella, not allowing him to come any closer. "What the hell did you do to her?"

"What the hell do you think I did? No way such an innocent girl like her would get into bed with me. Now you can't say you don't want something so sweet and innocent like that in your bed? I bet she's tight and all brand new. Just think of how it would feel to stretch her open. I did what I had to, now move."

To end my little emotional fest I felt a new found anger and the strong urge to protect Bella. I didn't think words would be able to end this fight, so I suited well with violence. He asked me a question I've even asked myself in highschool. Would I want her in my bed, just to end her innocence? I asked myself that before. But there was never an answer. It was the only question I could ask myself that would make any sense as to why I felt the way I did about her. Back then I felt that I only wanted her because everyone else did; only being Bella she didn't exactly know how many people wanted her just because no one else did have her.

So in a way when I punched that guy, I felt like I was punching myself. And I surely deserved it too. No one should think that way about a woman. Especially one so pure like Bella. I was relieved when I told myself that's not always what I felt about her. After highschool I sorted out my feelings and I knew it was more than a measley crush or a case of lust, yet no where in the brinks of love-but maybe someday.

This time I picked up Bella over my shoulder as the guy I hit struggled to get up after being rammed into a table full of glasses. I could hear shrieks of women, where my actions were unexpected, and the cheers of other men, where my actions were just as expected. I felt Bella tense as we got outside, she probably thought I was the one that got hit. But when she realised where I was taking her she relaxed as I strapped her into the passenger's side of my car.

I got out my cell phone to call Jasper, knowing Alice was probably freaking out about Bella's disappearance by now.

"Jasper? Don't let this freak Alice out, but this bastard drugged Bella."

Jasper sighed and told Alice, who grabbed the phone and started her screaming session. I cringed and pulled the phone from my ear as she spoke. "What do you mean she was drugged?! Who did it? And why weren't you with her!? Where are you, I'm going to take her back myself."

Now I understood why Bella was so hesitant in picking up Alice's calls. I answered her questions the best way I could. "No, I'm taking her back now. Just stay there if you want. She found me and went all seductive, I have to admit I had a hard time controlling myself."

This time Jasper had his phone back and was chuckling to himself. "That girl has got some skills in her that she doesn't even know about. Your always able to control yourself when any other girl is seducing you. So she's out cold huh? You planning on taking advantage of that? You can let out those feelings you've kept in for so long. What I don't understand is why she didn't come to Alice and myself. Afterall it's been awhile since you've two seen eachother. I'm surprised she's put trust in you so quickly."

I understood what he meant by letting out my feelings, afterall Bella wouldn't remember a thing when she woke up, it would be nice to get some things off my chest. But Bella wasn't out cold just yet so I edited most of what I said. "I'm not going to take advantage of Bella, you're out of your mind to think I would do such a thing. You better hope Alice didn't hear you say that. I don't know why she came to find me instead of you two, who knows why she trusted me enough. The guy said he wanted her for her 'innocence'. He's pretty damn sick for treating a girl, especially someone like Bella, like that. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose due to the popping noise I heard. Either that or he's unconcious by now."

"Oh, he's unconcious alright." Jasper assured me and I grinned. "We heard the screams and went to see what it was about. The guy tried getting up but toppled back to the ground a second after."

Bella shifted in her seat and I saw her press her forehead to the glass. I understood it was to ease the burning, but what I didn't understand was why she had tears forming in her eyes. I couldn't read her expression. That was something I found out back in highschool; Bella was definately not an open book. I could read most people easily, but Bella was one closed case and everything she did was unexpected to me, such as what happened tonight.

Taking a deep breath I said my good-byes to Jasper and kept my gaze straight ahead as I tried to ease the anger in my voice, but I found I really couldn't. I knew I was definately still a bit agitated and worried. But I had to calm myself because she was upset enough as it is, much to my displeasure. I hated that I couldn't read her. "What the hell were you thinking Bella? After I told you specifically not to go around anyone you don't know, you do it anyways."

"I'm sorry. He...wouldn't let me go." She shifted in her seat once more and this time I actually got why. She was probably feeling uncomfortable due to my tone. "Please..just...don't." Her eyes started closing more as she yawned more loudly this time. I took that as a sign and gave her free pass just this once.

The thing that troubled me though was how it actually happened. Apparently he didn't let her go, but how'd she get caught in the first place? I turned to look at her for once and remained calm, I wanted to know what happened and if she's as stubborn everyone makes her out to be I knew I had to keep things with her at peace. "We will talk about this when you're actually sober."

I parked in my usual spot at the apartment complex and pulled my keys out, placing them in my pocket. Bella looked as though she were about to pass out. A good thing I learned was that a cold shower would help with getting sober again. And in Bella's case, with her burning skin, I'm sure a cold shower would do justice. The only problem was she was too tired to get in without falling multiple times, most likely enough times to break something.

Getting back into the apartment went much better than I'd expected. I carefully avoided Clayton, because I was sure he'd have his questions and suspicions, maybe even ideas about what was wrong with Bella and why she was nearly passed out in my arms. I made it into the bathroom and contemplated on how this was going to work. I turned the knob to the shower and decided I would have to be in with her, because her eyes were now fully closed, but I knew she wasn't asleep because her breathing was still ragged.

Standing behind her, I folded her arms under her chest and wrapped my own around them tightly, I was certain that she would try taking her clothing due to the heat of her skin. I kept her tight against me, and all the while it began driving me insane as I kept my face very carefully away from her own heat strucken one. The last thing I needed was to lose it just by the touch of her skin, especially when she started struggling against me to get her clothing off.

I was glad when she relaxed finally and settled her head on my shoulder, remising with as much cold water as she could get on her body. We were drenched in water in only a matter of minutes and I could easily smell her strawberry shampoo as her hair started to get wet as well. I inhaled deeply, but found that I had pulled my head away from her own once again.

My hands grew shaky just by her scent and I decided it was time to get out. I wrapped a dry towel around her shoulders and began drying her the best I could. I asked if she could get changed herself, but she looked as though she thought I was speaking a whole other language. I sighed and told her that her clothing was infact wet, but even then she didn't answer.

When I got her into her room I asked her if she would be alright with me changing her, without invading her privacy. She just nodded her head to whatever I said. Once again, I sighed. Her clothing was scattered about her room, from Alice I guessed. I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible because she'd be in enough pain by morning so I settled with letting her use one of my own black dress shirts. One of my shirts was easily bigger than her own small form, so it would be easy to get it on her without invading too much of her privacy.

I drew in a deep breath and shut my eyes. I've been with a few women, but it's never gotten to the point where I've taken off their clothing by my own hands. I never felt that strongly towards anyone before. It would usually be a date and I never call them again. It was awful, but truthfully inside I wouldn't be able to stand another date because truth be told it was always her I wanted. Why did it seem so wrong now? Why wasn't I able to take off her clothing without knowing for sure that I had her consent. Because it was Bella that I was doing it too. Sweet, innocent Bella. Back in highschool I would have easily done it, but thoughts and feelings do change over time.

My eyes opened and I calmy reached for her jeans and took those off first, I made sure that I didn't stare as I moved to her shirt. And with most shirts like the one she was wearing, a bra wasn't involved. I bit my tongue and realised I had no choice. I swiftly pulled it off and placed my own shirt on her and in a matter of seconds I was already buttoning it up and pulling the sheets tightly over her in her bed.

For a few moments all I did was stare at her as if it were impossible that she was here at the moment. I smiled and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face, but she groaned and moved to her side. It seemed like she fell asleep finally. I raised my eyebrow the moment she started talking. "Math..evil..I'll definately fail!"

I chuckled. Silly Bella. She was already out of college and still worrying about math. She was certainly the most interesting girl I've ever met. I folded myself on the floor, just watching her form go up and down in slow motions. Her breathing finally calmed itself and she looked so peaceful.

Just by watching her made me ponder over what I actually felt about her. I really didn't know what it was. I probably never will understand. There's been this strange feeling building up inside of me for over eight years now, and it was all because of her. I went to a college I didn't even want to go to because of her. I forced myself to make my lifestyle easy, yet busy just so I wouldn't have to think about her. And it was all because I didn't want to hurt her.

From the moment I set eyes on her our freshmen year in highschool, up until now, I've wanted her like hell. Only back then my desire was much more evil-in a way. Bella can be observant on many things except how people think. A lot of guys wanted her then, yet the only people with real confidence to ask her out were the chess club type. I think that's why she's so self concious now, because none of us were man enough to ask her out ourselves.

And that's why I wanted her. Because everyone else did and yet no one did actually have her, so it was like a game trying to catch Isabella Swan. And the main reason most guys wanted it was because the pride they could get in doing it. I was known as the popular, playboy type, so I thought I could snatch her pretty easily. I noticed she looked at me a lot, but when I turned and saw that she was, she would frown and look away. Even now I thought that frown stated she despised me. When I got enough of those looks it came to me that I wouldn't have a chance with her because she would consider it a joke.

I thought it was absurd. Why would she consider it a joke? Afterall her best friend was infact going out with my own. But of course there's the fact that she and Alice are nothing alike. Alice could be considered popular but since she stuck around Bella they didn't really think that. And in all honesty Bella could be considered as such, but she was too shy and reserved and I think still self concious as she is now.

Cliques are rather stupid. If a person from one clique hangs around someone from another clique, they are thought of changing cliques like that. I was given popularity and the title 'playboy' only because of my looks. I was never conceited about how I looked; I really didn't care and that's why I rarely brushed my hair, but it seemed to get me fan girls anyways. The only girl I wanted to notice me was Bella.

And I had my wish all along. She did always look at me, but not in a way I would like. As I said, I can't read her expressions so I didn't know what she was thinking when she looked at me. It aggravated me all the more. Yeah, I wanted her, but I was confused as to why I did. At first I believed it was because the reason why all the other guys did-for pride, and her innocence; the fact that she was so pure and untouched. But I only felt like that until my junior year when I found her crying in the janitor's closet.

I remembered it all too clearly. She was cradled with her knees tight to her chest, in the very corner of the small room. Her brown hair draped like a blanket in front of her face. When I opened the door she jumped and that jump made a broom fall and clonk her in the head. Her brown eyes were shocked and I couldn't move. Her porcelain skin was damp from tears as her eyes were red from crying so much. When I saw those tears I felt guilty, as if I were the one to cause them. I leaned towards her to say something, but she bolted out of the room before I could.

That day I realised that even if I did get her, I would only hurt her. That when I got what I wanted, I would just throw her away and leave her broken. And after seeing her cry it nearly broke my heart. I didn't want to be the one to cause such pain in her. So for the rest of my junior year and throughout my senior year I forced myself to stay away from her. I was so sure that what I felt for her was nothing good.

I had the choice to go to the same college as Bella and Alice, but I didn't. Because then it would be much worse to try and stay away from her. I got accepted into the same college Jasper was going to, only it was one of those instate ones and I could much better than that, so I forced myself to go with Jasper just for Bella's sake.

Jasper has known all along what I felt for Bella. He's told me time after time that what I thought I felt about her were just excuses for what I really felt about her. He told me to go after her and that when I actually got to know her more I wouldn't feel the way I did and I would know I would definately not hurt her. He and Bella were good friends and I knew that, considering she was his girlfriend's best friend. He said she was too good of a person to just throw away like I thought I would do.

And as I sorted through my feelings during college, I realised he was true. But it was too late because I didn't think I would ever see her again. When Jasper and I moved to New York we both seeked out our own places and received our own jobs, but we of course got together every weekend. He told me he planned to have Alice move in with him once she graduated. He also said Bella was still her roommate, but she hadn't a clue to where Bella was headed off after graduation. I was careful not to hope for anything.

I went out on several dates after college, trying to get over Bella because I thought I would never see her again. But nothing worked. Even on my dates I was wishing that I was with her instead. After all these years it was amazing. But I still wanted only her.

When I saw her today. I was surprised to say in the least. When I heard she needed a place to stay, I was more than welcome for the offer. After all my sorting out of my feelings and my realization that I would do nothing to hurt her, I finally wanted to get to know her. I could have back then, but I spent to much time watching her every move to notice what she was actually like. She was a clutz, that much I knew. I listened to all she said, but only to listen to that voice of hers. And when I listened I was too lost to understand what she was actually saying. And when she accepted into moving in with me, I wanted to take the chance before it got away once again.

Needless to say it was more than I hoped for, more than I could ever ask for because some part of me, though little, believed I was still going to hurt her. My phone rang and Bella shifted onto her other side and her eyes cringed as if she had hardly heard the noise. I took one last look at her and smiled before I went to my own room, which was just across the hall from her own.

"Hello?" I answered listlessly. I had done too much thinking tonight and I only just realised I was still in my wet clothing. I looked over at the clock and it now read 11:45 p.m. Work was going to be hell for me when I woke up.

"Edward, I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, but can you please tell me if Bella is okay?" Alice's voice was now sweet and light. She seemed really upset and worried.

I pulled at the buttons on my shirt as I sighed, feeling guilty for her change in attitude. "Yeah she's alright. She's sleeping."

"Oh thank goodness. Now can you please tell me what happened? Jazz told me some man drugged her and all, but can you at least tell me how or why?"

"Alice, I'm not going to go into specifics as to why he did it. The man said some pretty grotesque things about getting her into his bed. I don't honestly know how. Bella was too tired to talk to me about it and I didn't want to argue and make things with her bad."

"But why did you let her go off on her own?" She pressed, yet still in a kindly manner.

"I didn't think she'd get into this kind of trouble. She said she didn't feel like being bombarded with your questioning."

"I guess some part of this is my fault too. Look, Edward, I really didn't mean to make you feel like this was your fault or anything-"

As I finally got my shirt off I cut her off. "You didn't."

"But," she continued ignoring my interruption. "I must say you really took good care of the situation at hand. Thank you for protecting her. I really mean it."

"Of course. I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her."

"Oh, I know! But a little advice for you Edward."

"Advice?"

"Please don't get mad at Jasper for this, but he told me how you feel about Bella."

Immediately I haulted and my breathing stopped. Does this mean she would tell Bella? What exactly did Jasper tell? I was inwardly hoping that it wasn't about how I once thought I felt about her. "He did..?"

She giggled. "Mhm. I didn't get why you let her move in with you until he told me. But my advice for you is; go after her."

Go after her.. Now I really wanted to know what Jasper said. But I had the bestfriend's blessing, what more could I ask for? "Alice. I don't know. I mainly did this so I could finally get to to know-"

This time Alice cut me off and had a stern tone in her voice. "Edward Masen." I cringed at her using my full name in that kind of tone. She sounded like my mom. "Jasper told me that. I am surprised you didn't go after her back in highschool, from the sounds of it you really like her."

"You have no idea." I mumbled, not really understanding why I was being so open to Alice of all people. For one, she was a big gossiper, and two this was her best friend we were talking about. It might have been my exhausted mind that just wanted to let out any and all information before it exploded.

"Then what's in your way? I trust that you would never hurt her in the way you think you will. But if something gets in the way and she does get hurt-then believe me, I will get revenge for her and you won't have to feel guilty about it."

"No amount of what you could do to me would ever make me not feel guilty if I did. Why exactly do you think I went through extreme measures just to stay away from her?"

"I really understand, but what makes you think she's not hurting when you stay away like that?"

"Why would she? I never even talked to her in highschool. She hardly knows me. Why would she hurt if I stayed away."

Alice scoffed at me and I could tell she was getting irritated. "Because she likes you too, you duntz! Did you not notice the looks she gave you back in highschool. I was trying to get you to gather up some manliness so you can find that out yourself, but it looks like you never did or will."

I shut my eyes and rubbed my temple. This was too much to proccess, but I couldn't help myself from grinning like a teenage boy that just got a date for prom. So she liked me even then? That still didn't make much sense. "I noticed her looks alright. But whenever I looked at her she frowned. Why would you expect me to think she liked me if those were the looks she gave me?"

"Because back then she didn't think she stood a chance with you. Mr. Playboy."

"Well that's amusing because I was the one thinking I didn't stand a chance with her."

"And why would you think that?"

"Because she would consider it a joke."

She laughed at that."She would have. However, under some convincing I'm sure she'd believe you. But listen, even in college she thought about you. Even though she never admitted it. She would just say it was a stupid crush, but even I can see it's more than that. Don't let her slip away, Edward. Go after her. That's the best advice I could give you."

Having said that she hung up without letting me answer. I sighed and placed the phone on my dresser as I finished getting dressed into my flannel pajama pants, not even bothering with a shirt. I was about to get into my bed when I heard Bella mumbling in her sleep again. This time she was saying my name. I smiled, but it didn't meet my eyes.

I could believe she liked me back then, but how could I be so sure now? I would just have to wait it out and see. If not, plan B; make her fall in love with me all over again. I could wait as long as possible as long as she stayed near me. She was just one of those people I can't live without and pushing her away would do no good. I was more deeply than addicted. I couldn't live without her and I'm foolish to think I can or ever could. She was like a drug and I desperately needed her to fill this addiction.


To be honest I didn't like this chapter very much, so I already have chapter four half way written. But what did you guys think? I do love all the reviews that are coming in! And if anyone has suggestions or hopes of what they'd like to see, please speak up. I would love to hear them! Also I am planning to put Rosalie and Emmett in, if you guys like that idea.