Author's note:
Hello everybody!
I'm back with a new chapter! ^.^ Yay! But I don't think I can update every week… I try to be as fast as possible though.
Thanks again for your comments, for liking the story, kudos and following! I really appreciate it! And big thanks again to Yuneyn for your motivation and that you've found some of my stupid mistakes again! *gives you a NezuShi chocolate sculpture*
Warning: This chapter contains blood, pain and violence. Sounds depressing, huh? O.o It will get better, I promise! ^^ They are already in love with each other, yay.
Ah…I've created a simple fantasy language for this story! :D That was fun. Okay… I don't want to annoy you any longer.
I'm sorry, Shion. I'm sorry, Nezumi.
And I'm sorry… but English is not my first language. So if there's something weird or wrong, please tell me! Thank you.
Agony
It was a crystal clear night with pleasant temperatures. Normally, this kind of relaxed atmosphere created the best conditions for a good night sleep. But Nezumi wasn't able to slumber well. He had difficulties to drop off, nightmares haunted him and he was waking up bathed in sweat several times each night.
Four weeks have elapsed since the young man had left the boy from No. 6 behind in the wilderness, and Nezumi couldn't help but think about him. The young man's mind was absolutely messed up due to their encounter. On the one hand, Shion had saved his life. He had cared for him nearly affectionately, suppressing his own needs in order to make Nezumi feel better. Shion's hands were soothing, they were able to heal and his gorgeous smile and his whole being was balm for Nezumi's heart and soul. But on the other hand, Shion had spawned from the evil, murdering hell of that so-called utopia. The young man failed to understand such contradictoriness.
Nezumi closed his burning eyes. Lying on his back, his head rested on his crossed arms. He took several deep breaths slowly, trying to calm down. Dizziness spread through his body.
And then, he saw it again. It appeared in his mind, absolutely clear – Shion's disarming smile. A gorgeous, angelic beam; also extended to those beautiful sparkling amethysts… It filled him with warmth; and with longing. The boy's whole being seemed to suck Nezumi in like a maelstrom of desire.
"No! Stop it! Leave me alone!"
At his command, Shion's smile faded away. In an instant, the light in his eyes was gone, leaving nothing but lifeless crystals; his ivory skin and dark brown hair lost all of their pigmentation and turned into flawless white. And although Nezumi didn't touch the boy, he could feel the immense coldness emanating from the once so warm body. Stunned, Nezumi looked at the boy's slender, illuminated silhouette which formed a deep contrast to the darkness surrounding their bodies floating through an ocean of pitch-black nothingness.
Dark and light.
Black and white.
"Wait…"
Nezumi stretched his arm, trying to reach the fragile body that was right in front of him and yet so far away. But before his fingertips could touch the snow-white outline, dark red flowers started to bloom on the boy's slim neck and his torso. Surprised, Nezumi drew his hand back, just as if he had burned his fingers. The red marks started to quiver and billow; curling around the boy's neck, his chest, stomach and legs like a serpent. But it was not poisonous; it was a constrictor, crushing the frail boy with all her might; breaking him into a thousand pieces. The light vanished and left nothing but an eternal sea of piceous solitude.
A distant scream caused Nezumi to open his eyes again, just to realize it was his own. He sat up in his massive wooden bed, pillow and blanked on the ground, with cold sweat dripping from his back, forehead and chin. His vision was blurred while he let his gaze wander around his room, from the red saggy sofa to the wooden table covered with dozen of piled up books; from his several bookshelves to the piano next to the entrance door of his windowless underground room which was just dimly lit by a kerosene lamp.
He removed his sticky wet hair from his face and took a deep breath while pinching the bridge of his nose a bit. Nezumi closed his eyes until a sharp child's laugh assailed his ears. Hastily he turned his head to the direction the laughter came from. His eyes widened. A little girl was sitting at the foot of Nezumi's bed, a perky glint in her silvery eyes. The child was dressed in a simple white dress and held a petite doll in her arms. Her straight bangs reached the upper thick lash line perfectly and the ends of her waist-length dark grey hair curled slightly while touching the ruffled sheets. Nezumi's jaw dropped.
"You're such a dork!" she grouched, giving him a little pout.
"Risu," he whispered, gazing at the girl terrified. The little one titled her head slightly and crawled closer to the young man.
"Phew! You nearly croaked, you idiot. Papa and mama were really sad." The girl said and chuckled. "But you know what?" she whispered in his ear and added in a louder voice: "Even so I wanted to go and pick you up, but then this cute boy appeared out of nothing and saved you! What a hero!"
Risu looked amused and placed her doll on the bed, bent over to give the stuffed toy a kiss of life, jumped on her bare feet after that and romped around.
"No, don't die! Don't die! Keep breathing. You have to breathe!" she screamed high-pitched while jumping on the bed, causing Nezumi to cover his ears until her tiny arms embraced his neck at the same time as she slipped onto his lap. Automatically his arms moved, too, encircling the lightweight gently. He trembled.
"Risu…" he whispered anew, his voice broken.
The girl looked into Nezumi's eyes. Her laughing subsided and left nothing but a severe expression, absolutely unfitting for a child.
"He saved you…" Her voice was deeper now, nearly matured. "And what were you doing? You tried to kill him. You left him all alone! Are you sure he can survive in the forest?" She asked quietly, gently caressing Nezumi's hair. A cold shiver ran down his spine. His whole body tensed up.
"He'll be fine."
"So?"
"I'm sure he left and went back to his beloved city."
"Um, you know that he can't leave anymore, don't you?"
"He's fine."
"He's dead!"
"What?"
Dizziness and a feeling of nausea numbed Nezumi's body.
No! No…this can't be!
No, no, no, no, no!
"How do you know?"
"Oh, I don't know. I just guessed he's dead after four long weeks."
Another feeling spread everywhere in Nezumi's whole being. It was relief.
"Maybe some wolfs and bears tried to eat him alive."
"He's too skinny. I don't think he'll taste good."
"Well, even if they don't eat him, they might still kill him."
"Stop it, Risu!"
"You know, they just want to play when they use their claws to slash his stomach open…"
"Stop it!"
"They'll tear out his guts, spreading them everywhere..."
"STOP IT!" he grabbed her tiny shoulders and shoved her away, panting heavily. Risu raised her head and looked in Nezumi's eyes. In stormy, desperate silver…
The girl smiled and cupped Nezumi's cheeks with her small hands.
"Thinking about that hurts, huh?" the little one asked, earning a slight, reserved nod.
"He really cared for you," she whispered.
"I know."
"Who cares he's from No. 6!"
Nezumi kept silent.
"He didn't just pretend to be a good guy. His eyes were so truthful, so beautiful, huh?"
"Tzk." The young man clicked his tongue.
"Am I right or am I right, brother?"
"Risu…"
"Geez! He likes you even more than I do! You're just a big fat coward! Go and search for him."
Little hands stroked Nezumi's bangs out of his face and followed their way to his cheeks. A small nose prodded a beautiful shaped straight one while little giggles left pale small lips.
"Ahh, you've grown so much. Just look at you. My big brother is so pretty!" Risu squeaked. Her usual cute child's voice was back, the voice that still lingered in Nezumi's memory. It has been so long, so many years have passed since he last heard Risu's joyful laughter. Her little body was glued to his, her tiny arms around his neck, taking him closer, squeezing him, while her giggles reached her brother's ear. Nezumi's felt a tightening of his chest; his heart hurt. He tried to suppress his crying but he could not hold back the tears.
"Don't leave me…" He tightened his embrace.
"But I am already gone."
Trembling breath ended in a desperate sighed: "I know."
"And do you also know that he is still there?"
Nothing but a whisper left Nezumi's tremulous pale lips. "Yes…"
"Then go and search for him."
"Yes…"
"You have to find him."
"Yes…"
"Find him."
I'm already gone. But he's still alive. I know it. He's waiting. He's straying. You have to find him. Go and find him. You should at least repay your debt.
The words still echoed in Nezumi's head when he woke up again. His arms were empty. Risu was gone. Nezumi could still feel her tickling lashes against his cheek. The young man's fingertips wandered about his skin, trying to catch the bygone touch, but everything he felt was wetness.
Risu.
As Nezumi got out he was greeted by the star-clear night. A gentle breeze caressed his hair. He looked at the sky and wrapped his black cloth tightly around his neck.
It's all very well for you to talk, Risu. How am I supposed to find him in this huge forest? It's just like looking for a needle in a haystack, even if I know the woodland like the back of my hand.
Shion!
Hang in there!
I'm so sorry.
Shion…
"Where the hell are you?"
Shion.
Five days have passed since Nezumi started his search operation, strolling through the woods on a systematic basis. In the past, the lonely walker with the eagle eyes had already found a range of natural wonders like hidden, spectacular landscapes with spots of stunning beauty and not even the smallest treasures were able to shield from his view. But it nearly seemed that Shion had vanished from the face of the earth.
Every day Nezumi left his underground room at dawn, took some rock-hard bread and a small water bottle as victual, ranged over another area and returned late at night. After a few restless hours full of nightmares, everything started all over again.
For such a long time he had tried to deny the fact that he wanted to see him again, that he felt strangely drawn to this boy, that he felt more than fear or gratitude towards him. Risu was right – even if she was just a hallucination or phantasm. That night she was his remorse and also his anchor, saving him from floating out of the sea of solitude and pitch-black nothingness. He was so filled with blind hatred for the Holy city he couldn't see that Shion was probably the person he has been waiting for his whole life without knowing it. Nezumi had met a pure, kindhearted boy surrounded by a warm atmosphere. A boy who helped him without thinking about possible consequences, a boy who shared everything he had with a stranger, a boy, no, the only person in this world who has ever cared for him since his family died. He knew it from the very beginning when he opened his tired, heavy eyes and saw a gorgeous smile glowing in the sunlight, illuminated by the sun – mesmerizing, beautiful – it warmed and lightened his heart.
How could such an angelic human being come from such an ill-natured city?
For as long as Nezumi could remember, every adult of his tribe had seeded fear and hatred towards the city deep inside of him and the other children. It was a very important lecture, but also a contradiction. They lived in true harmony with the four elements, and with animals and plants, but within the forest people hatred towards the city spread like a wildfire. Nezumi was taught that every man, woman, yes, even every child living in No. 6 was wicked; and he always believed it to be true without even getting to know a single person beyond the wall. Just seeing the destroyed forest was enough to stir up hatred. Everyone in No. 6 was evil. But Risu had always doubted that.
"Every child is born with a pure heart. But they teach us to hate other people."
Nezumi remembered the day his two years younger sister whispered those words into his ear, tickling him with her breath and her long black lashes. It felt as though it was only yesterday.
"You know what? We aren't better than children from No. 6. We're also sinful. Isn't that right, brother?"
She was such an odd child – precocious and stubborn, but also strangely wise. Every now and then she seemed to be more mature and aware than the tribal elders (not that someone apart from Nezumi had ever listened to her), and sometimes she was just like every other little girl; cheerful and absolutely adorable. Nezumi loved this side of her, but feared the other one.
"Truth can hurt, doesn't it, brother? Realizing things isn't always nice."
A little squeak startled Nezumi out of his thoughts. He went down on his haunches and extended his arm to let a little white mouse jump on his hand, raising it near to his face.
Squeak, squeak, squeak.
"Nothing, huh?"
Screech.
Two other mice appeared on a tree trunk, a black and a brown one. But they didn't seem to be more successful than their little fellow or Nezumi himself. Three pairs of grape-colored eyes looked at their master apologetically. Nezumi couldn't stand it. He placed the little white furball next to its companions, gave them a piece of bread and stroked each tiny head for a while.
"You tried your best. The three of you can rest now. We'll see each other tonight at home, okay?"
Squeak, squeak, squeak. Screech, screech.
Muddled, upset squeaks reached Nezumi's ear, causing him to let out a sharp whistle through his fingers, stopping the mice's cacophony immediately. The young man took a deep breath and looked at his pets with a serious expression.
"Just do what I've told you to do. Got it?"
Squeak, squeak.
"I don't care if I look tired. I can't rest until I've found him."
I just can't.
He shooed the mice away after they had finished their meal and continued his way. He slipped between the soft trees and bushes of the forest, and followed several paths to a glade – the foot of a hill.
Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Nezumi walked uphill. Due to his exhaustion and his lack of sleep he struggled to move his body any longer. Every step was arduous. The dark-haired gasped and forced his legs to go on, at least until he stumbled over a tree root. He landed on his belly and moaned, lying still for several minutes. Both of his hands grabbed a clump of grass, ripping it out.
"Fuck…" he mumbled and sat up. During his fall, single strands of his hair slipped out of his high ponytail slowly, tickling the boy's neck and cheeks. Nezumi's hand trembled and he grabbed his tuft, to untie his silky hair forcefully and without mercy. He tried to throw the hair tie against the next tree trunk powerfully, but the wind just carried it away softly, leaving an unsatisfied feeling deep inside of Nezumi's chest. He gnashed his teeth in anger; even his insides started to boil with fury until it poisoned his whole being.
"Fuck!"
He gripped a stone and threw it as far as he could; with so much power it nearly carried him off his feet. One stone followed the other. He wanted to hear cracking branches, he wanted to flush birds, and he wanted to hear the sound of stones smashing against rocks.
"Fuck… Fuck! FUCK!"
Nezumi had the urge to destroy everything and he felt nothing but hatred for the forest he normally loved so much. But the one he hated the most at this moment was Nezumi himself.
He took another fist-sized rock and slung it away with his whole might. The wanderer waited for the sound of destruction to ease his anger at least a little bit more, but this time he just heard a strange soft impact, a moan and the rustling of leaves. Nezumi raised his head and saw a furry brown creature rolling down the hill. Immediately the boy let go of the other stone in his hand to watch the scenario.
A bear?
Guilt overwhelmed him. He didn't mean to harm a living being. Not again. Nezumi wanted nothing more than run away, but his legs trembled; unable to move.
After a few seconds, the presumed bear stopped to roll and slid several meters facedown until it finally came to rest, nearly buried by a big and yet so familiar backpack. Nezumi's eyes widened. It wasn't an animal, it was a human being!
"Shion…" he whispered, moving one of his tired feet forward with all his might, then the other one, until he finally started to run.
"Shion! SHION!"
Reaching the young ecologist, Nezumi fell down on his knees and removed the heavy bag without hesitation, nearly putting Shion's shoulders out of joint while doing so. He threw the backpack aside and turned the lifeless body around. He gasped terrified, his pupils contracted, leaving nothing but a plain silver lake in his eyes. Shion's face was covered in little cuts and bruises and his nose bled profusely. Nezumi's shaky hand supported Shion's neck, his arm the boy's slim shoulder; the other hand slightly slapped the once so roundish cheeks. But now the boy just looked emaciated.
"Shion! Wake up! Open your eyes. Shion!"
Luckily it wasn't long before the boy's eyes fluttered open. Two gorgeous amethysts scanned their surroundings slightly confused until they found a pair of stormy silver.
"Thank heavens…" Nezumi murmured. Infinite relief overflowed his mind and the hand that still rested on the boy's cheek started to stroke stubborn brown strands out of Shion's forehead.
The young ecologist blinked a couple of times in disbelief, ignoring the metallic taste in his mouth.
"Nezumi…" Shion whispered, raising a weak arm to touch the other boy's cheek as well. Trembling fingertips caressed the dark-haired's light skin as if the boy still had doubts the other young man was real.
"Nezumi…" the boy croaked again. Tears filled his eyes while a relieved smile decorated his face. "I'm so glad! I'm so glad you're well, Nezumi. I was so worried when you were gone, I thought the poachers came back and harmed you again…" he sniffed once more.
Nezumi bit his lip. Guilt hit him right in the guts. He felt nauseous and his heart hurt as if it was going to break in a thousand tiny pieces. The young man gulped hard and breathed heavily, trying not to start crying as well. His eyes burned.
"You should rather worry about yourself," he managed to say without sounding too desperate.
"But I thought you were dead. I was so scared. Just the thought it could be too late when I find you again was enough to drive me crazy…" Shion answered and tried to sit up. Nezumi helped seating him on a nearby trunk, wetted a small cloth using water from his glass bottle and started to clean Shion's blood-stained nose carefully while crouching in front of him. The other arm rested next to Shion's tight on the trunk and without realizing it his long fingers stroked the brown-haired's slender hip feather-lightly, although he rather kneaded the thick furry fabric of Shion's jacket. The ecologist didn't screw up his face at least once, even if Nezumi was pretty sure he was in pain. The older male looked up to his savior just to meet his gentle gaze once more. Shion's soft smile remained while he started to play with Nezumi's long strands of beautiful, silky hair.
"Shion…"
"Hmm?"
Nezumi hesitated for a second. His breath trembled.
"I don't deserve your kindness."
The younger male blinked confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"I tried to kill you."
The smile on Shion's face faded for a second.
"Oh."
He seemed to think about Nezumi's words for a while. "I… guess you had your reasons," the boy whispered, stroking the dark grey hair behind the Nezumi's ear.
"Are you stupid, Shion?"
"I didn't know what happened – if those guys came back to kill you or if it was my fault you had to go. So I wondered if I had said something wrong back then. Something, which made you leave... But I couldn't figure it out."
He sighed and sniffed again, his nose was still bleeding.
"But I guess I know it now. It's because of No. 6, isn't it?"
Nezumi nodded slightly.
"No. 6 killed the forest," Shion assumed. "Poaching, exploitation, and not to forget all those factory's CO2 emissions, no wonder you don't like people coming from within the city. Even if they don't want to, they contribute to facilitate acid rain which causes slower growth or even death of forests. The acid rain doesn't destroy trees directly; it is more likely to weaken trees by damaging their leaves. So the nutrients are just limited available and the trees can't stand toxic substances released from the soil any longer."
The older male stared at the bleeding one horrified. He was absolutely speechless. Nezumi pinched Shion's nose between his thumb and forefinger, trying to stop the bleeding, but also to shut him up.
"Shion, I told you I wanted to kill you and you're talking about acid rain. Something's really wrong with you, weirdo."
"Butsh I shwa…" Shion tried to say nasally, gargling with his own blood.
"Gosh, shut up already, you're injured, you hopeless dork!"
He continued pinching the bridge of Shion's upturned nose and sighed slightly while his other hand comforted the boy's back.
"I'm so sorry, Shion," Nezumi whispered after a while. "I was terrified. I…I was scared to death because of you. My whole life I was taught that No. 6 is pure evil and that even every child from this city is wicked. I wanted to protect the forest, and my people. Of course that doesn't justify that I tried to get rid of you like that."
"Old habits die hard, huh?" Shion squawked.
"Shion…"
The spoken to boy blinked and removed Nezumi's hand, took the cloth and gave his nose a wipe. Finally the bleeding had stopped.
"Do you still want to kill me?" he asked calmly, gazing deep into Nezumi's silvery grey.
"Never…" The dark-haired whispered breathlessly.
I don't want to lose you.
"Did something disturb you or why didn't you finish me off?"
"I couldn't."
Shion's gently smile appeared again. He knew it. Nezumi's eyes spoke volumes. That weren't the eyes of a murderer. Furthermore, the young man looked worried, exhausted and had thick, dark eye circles.
"It's alright, Nezumi," Shion whispered. "Thank you for being so honest. I can understand that you don't like me because I'm from No. 6."
"Bullshit! Nothing's alright, Shion," Nezumi hissed and grabbed the boy's shoulders. "Listen, stupid! I'm sorry. I really am. And I don't know how I can make up for hurting you so much."
"Like I said, it's alright, Nezumi. I'm just glad you're alive. I'm so glad I was able to meet you once more."
Nezumi sobbed slightly although he didn't cry. He felt like talking to a brick wall.
"Aren't you afraid of me?" he asked desperately.
"I'm not."
Idiot. You're such an idiot! You have zero sense of danger. I don't want to be the one who's ruining your life… Why did you help me? Why aren't you scared? Why do you always look at me like that? Why do you care for me so much? Do you even understand what this means to me? But maybe… Maybe you're killing me instead…
You're confusing me so much.
Why aren't you mad? Why do you forgive me? I'm just horrible…
I don't deserve someone like you.
Tender hands stroked Nezumi's lose hair and rested on his shoulders afterwards.
"You're quite something," Nezumi mumbled while standing up. He picked Shion's backpack up from the ground and put it on, letting out a strangled noise while the heavy bag pulled him backwards.
"What the heck is in there? Boulders? Elephants?" he grunted and had the feeling that this backpack was even heavier than Shion himself. How was this slim boy even able to carry such a weight?
"Just some equipment. You don't need to carry it for me. Geez, I'm no girl. I can do it myself," Shion answered and stood up as well, ignoring the fact that he was a bit unsteady on his feet. Instantly, Nezumi put his arm around Shion's waist to support him.
"You're not even able to stand properly. And you've lost a lot of blood. Are you able to walk like that?"
Shion nodded.
"I'm fine," he said, leaning against Nezumi's warm body.
"Are you going to accompany me out of the forest now?" he asked and looked up at the taller boy. "I guess I'm lost. My compass doesn't work anymore. And I have the feeling I just went around in a circuit all the time."
"I'm going to take you to my home. You look ill, Shion. You need to rest. The city's at least a three-day march far from here. I don't think those jelly legs of yours could stand such a distance."
"Probably not…"
"Just what I said."
"So, you're taking me to your underwater cave?"
"Excited?"
"And how!"
"Don't expect too much. I don't think my humble cave can satisfy His Majesty's exquisite taste," Nezumi teased, while they reached the top of another hill. Looking down, they saw a beautiful glade and the ivy-clad ruins of a nature stone house which seemed to be a church or something like that in ancient times. Next to the overgrown walls was a little spring and not that far away Shion could perceive a beautiful little lake with a stony beach. The burbling of crystalline water was soothing and the light filtering among the leaves of the trees bathed the scenery in a lime green light. It seemed as if it was a place for fairies and magic.
"Wow…"
"It's no underwater cave, but I guess it's not that bad, huh?"
"It's astonishing, Nezumi! You really live here? Amazing!"
"You think living in a ruin is amazing?"
"I think it has some sort of a really nice atmosphere," Shion said while they walked downhill until they reached the remains of the old house. Nezumi pressed a section of the wall to open it soundlessly. It moved aside and let them through. The dark-haired walked downstairs into the pitch-black darkness, dragging the exhausted boy along. Shion let out a startled sound while his foot stepped into the air, searching for the ground. Nezumi tightened his grip, so that Shion couldn't slip and fall.
"Watch out," Nezumi said. "The stairs."
"Tell me that beforehand!" Shion complained. "It's so dark here. I can barely see anything."
"Too bad. Poor little guy."
"Don't tell me you're able to see something here!"
"I'm nocturnal. I'm a mouse after all."
"So that's why they call you like that?"
"Who knows?"
"Oh no, come on! Tell me!"
"Stop begging. It's getting on my nerves. Do you want me to regret my decision? I'll throw you out instantly if you get too full of yourself."
"I'm sorry."
They walked a few steps in the darkness until they reached a door. Nezumi opened it and let go of the boy to get rid of the way to heavy backpack. After that he bowed deeply, waving him in elegantly.
"Welcome, Your Highness."
The room was bathed in a dim light. Shion followed the teasing one inside and looked around curiously. He was absolutely astonished. Never in his whole life had Shion seen so many books. He took a deep breath. The smell was reminiscent of long years of enjoyment; of candlelit reading sessions on stormy nights in bed, cozy studies while bathing in the sunlight or relaxing in the shadows of the remaining ruin walls, a hint of musk, a hint of dust, vanilla and grass. They were little bites of history.
"Amazing, are those all books?"
"What else? Bread? Bricks?"
Shion didn't listen to him. He was deeply impressed. All those books, that massive bed, an old worn-out couch, the little table and the piano gave the room a cozy, warm atmosphere. Shion loved it.
"Well, make yourself comfortable. I'll treat you to my specialty soup," Nezumi said and disappeared behind one of his bookshelves to get a bigger pot.
"Sounds great!" Shion said enthusiastically and sat down on the sofa.
When Nezumi came back just a few seconds later, the young ecologist was already dead to the world.
The taller boy clicked his tongue.
"I forgot you've the ability to fall asleep in a split second. My bad," he said and placed the pot on the wooden table, walking towards the boy afterwards.
"Geez, don't sleep there…"
The couch was way too small for a good night rest. He lifted the fainted boy up and placed him on his bed carefully. And even though Shion was alarmingly light, Nezumi was also mentally and physically exhausted, which caused him to belly-land across Shion while putting him down. He accidentally kissed the sheets and lay face down for a few seconds. Actually Nezumi wanted to get up and cook the soup after giving his eyes a rest for a short while, but tiredness spread in his body and sleep came upon him without warning. And finally, the young man was able to slumber without nightmares, without fear and without the pitch-black ocean of loneliness which had surrounded him for the last 10 years.
It was early afternoon when Shion opened his tired eyes again. First he was a bit confused, especially when he felt something that weighted his body down. The young man yawned slightly and turned his head, just to find Nezumi on top of him. His heart skipped a beat while he saw Nezumi's beautiful sleeping face, so close to his own. And although the other man was a bit heavy, it felt strangely nice to feel his weight. Shion smiled and stroked one of Nezumi's grey skeins behind his ear. With a bit effort, the boy managed to turn around, so that the taller boy lay next to him. Shion sighed calmly and removed the fabric of Nezumi's shirt a bit to check his shoulder. The bullet wound was completely healed. The scar looked good. Nezumi didn't seem to have problems when he removed the stitches. Shion felt proud; after all it was his first time stitching someone up. He wanted to check Nezumi's other injury, too, but the young man was so fast asleep and seemed to be so exhausted and tired that Shion didn't want to wake him up. Carefully he got up and covered Nezumi's cool body with the blanket, looking at his beautiful face for a couple of seconds. Long, thick lashes rested on the light porcelain skin of his cheeks, looking like gorgeous dark half moons. Nezumi's lips which were so pale when Shion had found him nearly dead had a beautiful pinkish color now, glistening seductively in the warm orange light of the kerosene lamp. And though…
"He looks so exhausted. Did he…" Shion wondered.
Idiot. Of course he doesn't look like that because of you. He wanted to get rid of you. Why should he worry about you? Why should he search for you?
Don't think too highly of yourself.
"Yes…"
He sighed slightly and looked at the sleeping beauty gently. His eyes flickered slightly and his heartbeat quickened.
"Sweet dreams…" Shion whispered breathless and raised his hand to touch Nezumi's soft skin with his fingertips, but once he realized that his fingers were bloodstained, he hastily pulled them back.
Don't touch him with your dirty fingers, you filthy jerk. Just look what you and the Holy city have done! The forest is destroyed because of you. Because of everyone within the wall. And you did nothing to prevent that. You call yourself an ecologist, but in the end you're just good for nothing. You lived an arrogant, selfish life without considering that the things you had were stolen goods from a land that wasn't yours.
But it's his! It's alright for him to hate you.
You have no right to be here, scum…
You're the one who doesn't deserve his kindness.
"I know."
If you want to preserve your remaining honor you've to do something.
"I know. I have to stop them. But I don't know how..."
It's your task to figure it out.
"Yes."
Shion sighed slightly and stretched his body a bit. Then, he walked to the door on quiet feet, opened and closed it carefully. With his right hand he groped for the wall, not wanting to lose orientation in the darkness while he headed for the exit. Clumsily he searched the brick which Nezumi had used the day before and opened the wall after finally finding it. He stepped outside and narrowed his eyes; the light blinded him at first but after a short while he grew accustomed to it and was able look around. According to the position of the sun it was already mid-afternoon. Both of them were knocked out for a pretty long time. Shion stretched his aching limbs and started a little discovery tour. He explored the ruin and its surroundings; then made his way to the small river. He needed to freshen up a bit, so he kneeled down and started to wash his hands, arm and his face, ignoring the burning pain of his fresh little cuts and grazes. He didn't really remember what happened yesterday, just that he had walked uphill until something had hit his shoulder, causing him to fall. He removed his dirty jacket and the white shirt he was wearing to inspect the sore bruise placed between his collarbone and shoulder. It was the first time in his life he was hurt like that. But he didn't want to whine about it, especially when he remembered Nezumi's horrible injuries. Nezumi was able to get over his near death experience so easily, so it was just clear that he earned proper respect. Shion sighed quietly and decided to take a full bath since it was such a wonderful warm day. Unceremoniously, he stripped his pants and underwear to wade into the fresh water. The little river wasn't very deep, up to Shion's knees only, so he searched a nice spot and sat down to wash and cool his sore body. After a while he lay backwards, wetting his hair; he stretched himself luxuriously and drifted a bit while looking up into the sky. He watched the movements of the treetops in the fresh summer breeze and beautiful white passing clouds. For a moment he forgot everything, but then a little squeak startled him.
He sat up, splashing, and stroked his brown wet hair out of his face. He let his gaze wander and found three little mice sitting on the bank.
"Hello," Shion greeted the animals friendly. Little squeaks followed – they seemed to welcome him, too. The bathing boy smiled gently and pulled his knees to his body to rest his arms and chin on them, tilting his head a little bit to his left side.
"You're very confiding, huh?"
Excited squeaking.
"I see. You're Nezumi's friends," Shion whispered. "I'm glad to meet you."
Squeak, screech, screech.
The young ecologist chuckled. Now it sounded like a scolding.
"What? I should at least wear my underwear? As befits a gentleman? Huh? I should be ashamed? Nezumi could see my naked butt?" he asked and started to laugh, but while he thought about it, his forehead started to produce cold sweat. After all, Nezumi seemed to have a yen for his fundament.
He trudged out of the water instantly and made his way to his clothes to pull on his underwear. Shion grabbed his clothes and picked them up. He was still wet and his clothes were dirty, so he didn't want to get dressed in them again. Smilingly, he looked down to his feet. Three little mice followed him curiously.
"Watch out. I don't want to scrunch you."
After a few steps he reached the origin of the little river and went into a kneeling position to watch how the river's sweet, cool water bubbled out of the earth. He bent forward, his butt was high in the air; his upper body rested on his underarms so that it was possible for him to nearly touch the surface of the water with his nose. Totally fascinated Shion observed the little living beings at the bottom of the crystal-clear puddle, but suddenly a resounding slap flushed the birds. The mice made a quick getaway, and Shion's head dived deep into the water until his face was stuck in the mud. He flailed his arms around until he felt that someone grabbed the waistband of his underwear and pulled him back. Coughing, he turned around just to see Nezumi grinning like a Cheshire cat; at least until he realized that it was his hand that had slapped Shion's very inviting butt. Both boys looked at each other with palm-sized eyes, unable to speak.
Squeak, screech, screech, squeak, squeak!
Three furious little mice attacked Nezumi's legs and climbed onto his shoulders to screech directly in his ears. Nezumi screwed up his eyes.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Okay? Just shut up! Be quiet!"
Shion also narrowed his eyes. "Geez, they were right. You are a deviant, especially when it comes to butts, huh?"
"I'm not! It's just…"
"So it's just my butt or what?"
"No! Sh…Shion! It's not like that!"
"Pfff!" Shion puffed his cheeks, but started to laugh after a while. It was a laughter as clear as a bell, and as cheerful and pure as a child's. It caused Nezumi's heart to feel light and conjured a smile in his face. Shion looked back to the water puddle and waited until the mud sank back to the bottom, before he washed his face once more. He raised his head and shook it slightly to get rid of the wetness, flinching a little bit as he felt Nezumi's warm hands which put an open fresh shirt around his shoulders. Then, the dark-haired squatted down right next to Shion, also looking in the water.
"What's so interesting?" Nezumi asked and let out a startled sound when a dragonfly nearly bumped against his forehead.
"Oh, a Cordulegaster boltonii!"
"A what?"
"A golden-ringed dragonfly. It's very rare. They just live around clean, flowing little waters. Wow!"
Shion smiled happily and pointed to the bottom of the spring. "Look! Rivulogammarus puplex… um, I mean freshwater shrimps. And there are also caddisfly larvae and amnicolids. They just live in very, very clean fresh water. Isn't it amazing, Nezumi?" The boy nearly yelled in his wild enthusiasm. His beautiful purplish eyes glistened; full of life and joy. The dark-haired gulped.
"Y…yeah, I guess. You really love this stuff, huh? You're like a walking encyclopedia."
"Ah, I'm just good at memorizing. It's nothing special."
"I think it's amazing."
"Uh…" Shion blushed slightly, but he tried to hide it. "N…no, it's not."
Nezumi chuckled and stood up, looking down at the brown-head.
"Nature is amazing," Shion whispered and got up as well, turning around. Nezumi's gaze wandered over Shion's body. His smile disappeared and he started to button Shion's white shirt up. Especially that huge bruise caused him guilt.
"You'll catch a cold. Get your clothes on."
Shion stood still, but his breath quickened slightly. Nezumi was so close.
"Y…yes."
The older male bit his bottom lip and once he had finished his job he cupped the back of Shion's head with his large warm hand, pulling him closer until Shion's nose touched Nezumi's shoulder. The taller boy's other hand gently held Shion's wrist while he gave him that awkward little hug.
"I'm so sorry. Y…you look terrible. You're so skinny."
Shion's eyes widened, his heartbeat quickened. The little nose that touched Nezumi's shirt still hurt, but Nezumi smelled so good that he nearly forgot his pain.
"Ah…it's alright. I wasn't much thicker when I arrived here."
"You were."
"Of all the nerve!"
Nezumi patted Shion's head and let go of him.
"You were just eating green stuff, huh?"
"Of course."
"You need some proteins."
"I'm not good at killing animals."
"I figured," Nezumi said, walking back home. "I'll treat you to some cooked chicken now."
Shion stopped and let out a horrified sound.
"Don't worry, I wasn't the one who killed it. When I found it, it was already dead."
"Urgh! Then I recommend you not to eat it anymore."
Nezumi laughed. "I bought it at the market."
"Ahh! There's a market?"
"Of course. My tribe has a settlement and also a market. We're no Stone Age people."
"But why do you live apart?"
Nezumi opened the door of his hideout and walked inside; grabbing the pot he had placed on the table the previous evening.
"Do I look like a fucking people person?"
"No… I don't know."
The older male clicked his tongue and started to peel a potato. Shion watched his skilful hands. Nezumi's knife technique was outstanding. Silver eyes caught a glimpse of the stunned boy.
"You know nothing, you a pampered little prince, huh? Now, let me get back to all those cute little animals." Nezumi's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "If you want to eat, you have to kill. That is in the natural order of things. Even in No. 6 they have to kill the animals they serve you. It's not that they magically transform into steaks at the touch of a button. Someone has to do the dirty work."
"I know, but…"
"You could never do something like that, huh?"
"No… Yes… I… I don't know. I don't want to think about it."
"If you want to survive in the wilderness, you have to."
"I know!" Shion yelled. "I beg you, Nezumi. Stop it now. Shut up, will you?"
"Oh, I'm deeply sorry, Your Highness. Should I go get you your tea and an artificially produced ham sandwiches now?"
"Nezumi…"
Shion stood next to the book shelf, the closest to the door and clenched his wrists.
"I… I guess I should rather leave now," he whispered, staring at the ground. He felt uncomfortable.
"Like hell you will!" Nezumi retorted and raised his head again, just to see an odd colored snake on top of the bookshelf. The animal darted its tongue several times and sizzled. Nezumi hardly believed his eyes.
"What the heck!?" he yelled. "Shion! Watch out! Shion!"
But before Shion could react, the snake dashed forward with lightening speed and bit him in the neck.
Silence.
Suddenly everything was quiet around Shion and seemed to happen in slow motion: His eyes widened, just as Nezumi's. The older male jumped over the table and rushed at him with a knife in his hand. He yelled, but Shion wasn't able to hear his words, he could just see the movement of Nezumi's lips and the sheer fear in his eyes. Shion felt how the snake's fangs constantly pumped venom deep into his bloodstream, and a sharp tearing pain arose which spread through his whole being. Nezumi stabbed the enormous snake, but just as his knife touched the animal's skin it vanished without a trace, causing the boy to thrust at nothing. For a second, Nezumi pondered if it was just a hallucination, but the bite injuries on Shion's neck was cruel reality.
"…ON! SHION!"
The flow of time returned to normal, and Shion started to scream.
"HANG IN THERE! SHION!"
The bitten boy grabbed his neck and stumbled sideways a few steps, until he crashed against the bookshelf. Piles of reading matter hit the ground; the boy slid down, landing on the floor asbooks fell onto his bodyone after another. Before the shelf could tip over, too, Nezumi braced himself against the wooden furniture with all his physical strength. Lying on the ground, Shion squirmed and writhed in pain. His screams of agony echoed off the walls around the room and let freeze the blood in Nezumi's veins.
"Shion!"
Nezumi felt helpless. In the midst of that terrible sight, and Shion's sounds, and scents of death that started to linger around him once again he kneeled down, straddled the slim body and grabbed the boy's arms powerfully, trying to immobilize him and sit him up. Shion cried, but the tears weren't crystal-clear, they were thick and dark red. Nezumi's eyes widened.
Blood.
Shion was panting very heavily, and also started to bleed from his mouth and nose.
"It hurts! It hurts so much!"
"I know! I know that! Hang in there. You'll be fine, okay?" Nezumi's voice trembled, holding the wriggling boy in a death grip to calm him down. He tilted Shion's head aside and pressed his lips on Shion's neck, covering the bite injury which looked like a big black spot now, and started to suck the venom out, spitting it on the ground. Nezumi repeated this process a couple of times, but Shion's wreathing movements made it hard for the dark-haired to help him. He cupped the younger's neck and stabilized him with all his might.
"You'll be fine!" Nezumi tried to comfort him frantically; trying to suppress the brittleness in his voice. "Trust me! And don't move so much! I know it hurts, but the poison will spread!"
"Kill me!" Shion's breath was erratic.
"Shion!"
"KILL ME!" the boy whined, his fingernails dug deep into the dark-haired's skin, causing him to flinch.
"NO!"
"PLEASE!"
"I CAN'T!"
"KILL ME! DAMNIT! KILL ME!" Shion cried and yelled in his agony, a gush of lukewarm blood poured out of his mouth over Nezumi's shoulder and chest, causing him to scream in panic, too.
He was losing Shion.
Shion was going to die so painfully.
Not again! Please! Not again! Don't do that to me!
Don't! Please! Please…
Elyurias…
"I know you can see us! Are you satisfied now?" he shouted in his despair. "Answer me! I know you can understand me! I know you can hear me!" But nothing happened. Nezumi gnashed his teeth and tensed up. The ashen-pale boy let out another bloodcurdling death cry, opening his eyes wide. His orbs were bloodshot; his irises completely dark like two black holes, looking into the nothingness which Nezumi feared so much. The boy finally fainted and stayed lifeless in Nezumi's trembling arms.
"Shion! No… Shion! SHION!"
He pressed Shion's head against his chest and looked at the ceiling.
"Iha, gaiddeasshu ife tahaa feiluashuta! Haaelu nya naliae ende galuenta ene eodeuancua," [Oh, goddess of the forest! Hear my plea and grant an audience,] he tried to sing in another language, but his voice was unstable and desperate, which gave him a hard time to find the right words and sounds.
"Dei nita haoluta haun! U baaga yaio," [Don't hurt him! I beg you,] he added pleadingly.
"Haa ushu en untaluidealu,"[ He is an intruder,] a resonating woman voice answered slowly, piercing marrow and bone.
Nezumi shook his head, trying to control his breath and his way too fast beating heart.
"U taelileade tai haun. Haa laoshuta taluuade tai haalina! Woutahaiuta haun u woilide baa eliluaedeya deaede. Dei nita leulli haun. Naliaeshua! U baaga yaio." [I talked to him. He just tried to help! Without him I would be already dead. Don't kill him. Please. I beg you.]
Silence.
"Elua yaio shuolua, shuungaa?"[Are you sure, singer?] Elyurias finally answered.
"Yaashu. U dei nita woenta tai liishua haun." [Yes. I don't want to lose him.]
"Ufe haa shuolulouloashu, haa nugahata shutaeya. Baeta haa nugahata naloalu liaeloa tahaa feiluashuta egaeun." [If he survives, he might stay. But he might never leave the forest again.] Elyurias said and vanished into a strong wind which rumbled as if coming from deep within the earth, causing papers and thin books to fly through the air.
Nezumi protected Shion with his body and felt the boy's weak breath against his skin. His hopes awakened.
Shion wasn't dead yet.
Shion was strong.
He lifted the slim body into his arms and carried him to the bed, covering him carefully.
If he survives, he might stay. But he might never leave the forest again.
"You have to survive, Shion!" Nezumi whispered and stroked the other boy's hair gently.
You have to survive. I don't want to lose you. You're my hope.
"Shion, can you hear me? Shion…"
To be continued
