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CHAPTER THREE
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Around the time EZ was leaving a tip for Sally at the Red Cent, things were happening in the very center of the Central Shadow Realm.
In the Shadow Council Chambers, the governing body of the city was in session.
Exodia the Forbidden One rubbed his temples, as he often did. He was the oldest and most powerful monster in existence, and the most influential… But for some reason, it seemed that having almost godlike power could do nothing to stem the awful migraines that such a stressful job had given him in recent years.
Fortunately, the Shadow Council was having a relatively good day. Of course, any day where Ophelia had decided to clam up was considered "good" to most of them. Of course, she had reasons for being quiet – she was suffering from a full-blown cold, and it was difficult to even talk. Right now, her podium was surrounded by used tissues, and the sounds of sniffling and slight coughing came continually from the Queen's Double.
Right now, the CSRPD Spokesman had the floor.
"Anyway," started Escalus, "the news from headquarters is mostly…"
He was interrupted by a very loud sneeze.
"Sorry," groaned Ophelia, blowing her nose.
"Ophelia…" muttered the Warrior and Beast Warrior Representative, "as much as I admire someone with a work ethic so strong that she comes in even when she's sick, you're going to give it to all of us! Why don't you just go back to bed?"
Ophelia gave a dirty look towards the Buster Blader…
"You know…" she said, "maybe I will…"
She got off her chair and headed for the door.
There was a long silence before the door slammed.
"To think," sighed Forseti, "all I had to do was ask…"
"That must be the first time she's ever thrown herself out!" laughed the Pyro and Thunder Representative.
The room broke out in low chuckles. The only three creatures that didn't laugh were the Spellcaster Representative (who never liked it when she was teased), the Machine, Plant, and Rock representative (who never had much of a sense of humor), and Exodia himself (it would take near-infinite humor to get him to laugh).
"People," growled the Forbidden One. "I believe Escalus was about to give his report…"
"Uhm, yes," continued the Frontier Wiseman, going over his notes. "Where was I? Ah yes, as I was saying, the situation is pretty good in most areas. Recruitment is up ten percent, job-related casualties are down twelve percent, job-related fatalities are down fifteen percent…
"And the best news is, the crime rate is down across the board. Last month showed a decrease in all Quarters, an average of a nine percent drop in minor crimes and an eight percent drop in major ones."
"And just how is that good news?" muttered Forseti. "Aren't the police concerned with job security?"
This time everyone gave him a dirty look. It was a joke, but it was a bad one.
The Spellcaster Representative gave him a cold glare. Raelvion didn't get along with Forseti at the best of times, but he had been in a foul mood for weeks now.
Exodia glared at him too.
"I am not amused, Forseti…" he said. "Not that I'm keeping track, but in the last eight sessions you've managed to insult almost everyone here…"
"Cheerfully withdrawn…" sighed Forseti.
The light on the Zombie Representative's podium lit up.
"I, for one, am glad to hear that the crime rate is down," said Pumpking, the King of Ghosts.
Ectoplasm from the huge Zombie's tendrils dribbled on the floor.
"In a related topic," it continued. "I'd like to make a request for added police presence in the Zombie Living Quarters, particularly the higher level neighborhoods."
Everyone looked at it.
The Fiend Representative's podium light went on.
"That is a very interesting request, Pumpking," stated Kalvelos. "But I have to wonder, why?"
"Well, despite the decrease, crime is still high," answered the King of Ghosts, "and…"
"If I may be blunt, Pumpking," continued the Summoned Skull, "this is not the first time in the past two months that you've made weird requests…"
"I'm suspicious too…" muttered Mr. Volcano. "Your request for funds for demolition of condemned buildings in the Level Five section seemed strange. I mean, don't Zombies like things that look rotted?"
More chuckling.
"Are you making an accusation of wrongdoing on my part?" asked Pumpking. "I don't recall making a single request that any of you would not make for one of your own Living Quarters."
Everyone paused.
Of all the members of the Shadow Council, Pumpking was the hardest one to trust. Sure, it was interested in the well being of the monsters it was in charge of and wanted the best for them…
But it was a poorly kept secret that it was influenced by monsters with sinister motives. Whenever one of the Vampire Lords wanted something done, he made a "request" to the King of Ghosts, and Pumpking usually did its best to see that it got done.
It was always hard to tell whether one of Pumpking's proposals was something it wanted done, or something a Vampire Lord wanted done.
And Pumpking had other problems that it had little control over. The Low Level Zombie Living Quarters was ruled by the Ha Des Business Syndicate, a canker sore on the Central Shadow Realm. Pumpking hated the Dark Ruler, and tried to avoid the subject when it came up, but there was little it could do about him.
The podium of the Machine, Plant, and Rock Representative lit up.
"If I may make a statement," started the Machine King in its usual monotone, "the Zombie Representative's proposal would not be without benefit. The crime rate in the Zombie Living Quarters has always been high, and Zombies have been known to be a nuisance in other Quarters. An increased police presence may well be a logical solution."
"Actually," muttered Escalus, looking at his notes, "the Zombie Quarters did experience a drop in the crime rate, but only by five percent, the lowest of all Quarters…"
The Fairy Representative's light came on.
"An increased police presence might help stem the activities of the Dark Ruler," suggested Messiena. "Anything that hinders Ha Des is beneficial…"
Kalvelos looked at her and sighed. He hated having to agree with her, but he didn't like Ha Des much either.
The light on the Fish, Aqua, and Sea Serpent Representative's podium lit up.
"It seems suspicious if you ask me," stated The Legendary Fisherman. "Maybe Ha Des wants more cops in his part of town for some reason."
"Now wait just a minute…" protested Pumpking.
"He makes a good point," replied Mr. Volcano. "I never trusted Zombies anyway…"
Forseti tapped his podium.
"People," he announced, "all kidding aside, I've always believed that you can never have too much of a police presence or a military. The Police Spokesman said that recruitment is up, and that the crime rate is down. If we want it to stay down and avoid problems, we have to have a strong justice system. I've always pushed for a strong one in the Warrior Quarters, and they have the lowest crime rate in the city! Deny that, Escalus!"
"Well…" muttered Escalus, looking at his papers. "True, the crime rate there did go down by fifteen percent, which is tied with the Fairy Living Quarters for the highest decrease…"
"I rest my case…" said the Buster Blader, smugly.
There was a long pause.
"Very well…" muttered the Forbidden One. "Why not we put it to a vote? For added police presence in the Zombie Living Quarters…"
The thirteen other monsters in the room tapped buttons on their podiums…
Lights flashed. It was seven aye votes and six nays.
But the proposal hadn't passed yet. Such a close vote couldn't override the Forbidden One himself if he thought it was a bad idea. His vote counted for five.
He didn't entirely trust the King of Ghosts himself, and he was a little suspicious of the odd proposals it had been making lately…
…but he didn't see how an increased police presence in a Quarter who had a poor presence to begin with could hurt…
He rubbed his temples again.
"Proposal accepted," he stated. "Now then, onto the next subject…"
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EZ got up at six AM the next morning. When he had a case, it was always good to start early.
As he got dressed, he went over the three rules he lived by:
1. Try not to break any laws, but don't be afraid to bend a few to get what you need to do done.
2. Always look in areas where no-one else would look.
3. Doing it by the book rarely works, because the bad guys never do it by the book.
These three rules had worked well as a cop, and worked pretty well as a P.I. too.
He didn't have much to go on, but he did know where to find a few of the victims. Seven was still recovering, but an Axe Raider and a Warrior Dai Grepher were among the victims he knew about, and a quick trip to the Work Quarters might have given him some insight on the nature of the attacks.
He left to catch the train there, hoping to shed some light on these strange muggings.
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One building in the Work Quarters was so large, it had its own train stop. It was called the Foundry.
A large factory where smokestacks poured soot into the sky, this was where most things were made that could be made out of iron. Pots, pans, knives, forks, spoons, tools… pretty much everything except weapons.
Inside was a maze of catwalks and machinery, where the air was stifling hot. Huge vats poured molten metal into moulds for cooling, and in other sections, products were tempered, sharpened (if needed) and polished by various infernal machinery. This was not the neighborhood smithy.
To most folks, this oven of metal and steam would be hell, but to the monsters who worked here, it was heaven. The low-level work force was made up of Iron Blacksmith Kotetsus, Beast-Warriors who just loved to work with metal. The supervisors were mostly Level Four Warriors with a lot of endurance, and a few Machines were scattered around. Here and there a Helping Robo For Combat and a Woodborg Inpachi did odd jobs.
EZ caught up with the Axe Raider called AR D-012-B as he was signing a delivery request form.
"It isn't something I'm proud of," muttered the Axe Raider. "Normally I can smell an attack coming from a mile away. And poison? Only a coward uses poison. If I catch whoever did it…"
"Did you see whoever it was?" asked EZ.
"No," replied the Axe Raider. "But there was something weird about the whole thing… Right before the dart hit, there was a chill in the air that hadn't been their before.
"I told that dumb Vorse Raider, and he told me it was likely the wind. Hey, I know the wind, and that was no wind. It was like something seriously unnatural was around…"
EZ paused.
"Thank you," he replied.
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Spell cube and trap cube factories populated the heart of the work quarters, and each of them specialized in a different area.
One of the busiest of the spell factories was The Arsenal. Combat was unavoidable in the Central Shadow Realm, and this factory made all sorts of spell cubes related to that field, from the more-or-less common Legendary Sword, to the very expensive, made-by-request only Axe of Despair.
Since Warriors were the best fighters in the city, most of the staff was made up of them. A Flame Swordsman supervised the work, and Warriors of levels one through four could be found working there, the lower ones on the assembly lines, and the higher ones with more important chores.
"That dumb Vorse Raider couldn't see the truth if it bit him on the behind," said the Warrior Dai Grepher, as he poured water into a cup from a bubbler. "I told him myself that I didn't think it was likely a Blowpiper, and he told me to keep quiet…"
"What makes you think it wasn't?" asked EZ, curious.
"Before I blacked out, I saw her feet," added the Grepher. "I have never seen an Amazon who wears black leather high heels before."
"You saw her?" asked EZ.
"Just her feet," added the Warrior. "And she was wearing black pumps."
"I see…" muttered EZ. "Well, thank you…"
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As EZ rode the train home, a lot of things were on his mind.
A cold chill seemed to verify the suspicion that some Dark monster was behind this…
And Amazons never wore high heels. They were usually barefoot.
Even worse, Earnest had lied to him. He had said that none of the victims had seen anything…
Maybe it was time to have a talk with Earnest. He'd check out his apartment when he knew his shift got out.
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At five-thirty, EZ went into a modest apartment building in the Level Four Warrior Quarters. He knew where Earnest lived, seeing as he had been here often.
In better times, he, Earnest, and other cops had often played cards together. But since that time, Earnest had just turned into a guy you couldn't trust.
He knocked on a door.
"If you're looking for Earnest," said a woman's voice, "I don't think he's home…"
EZ looked and saw one of Earnest neighbors he knew. A Marie the Fallen One had come out with a garbage bag.
EZ made a slight smirk. These Fiends never lived in the Fiend Quarters, seeing as they didn't like other Fiends much. Maries usually lived in the Warrior and Spellcaster Quarters.
"So Marie," he asked, "you know when he'll be back?"
It was customary to call these monsters "Marie" no matter what their number was.
Marie sighed.
"Dunno," she answered. "He's been acting funny lately…"
"Funny?" asked EZ.
"Yeah," sighed Marie. "Lately I've seen him talking to some female monster… She always comes at night, dressed in a cloak and a hood, and he gets nervous around her. Something strange is going on…"
"I see…" muttered EZ.
He paused. This was getting stranger and stranger…
Waiting for Earnest would likely do no good…
…and unfortunately, while he had learned a lot, he had nothing solid.
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One hour later, EZ was at the Red Cent, slowly picking at one of Orville's famous Reubens.
Sally watched him as she sucked the pacifier that she always had. All Currans had them when they were "born", and they helped them think.
She removed it and went up to EZ.
"Something wrong?" she asked. "It's just going to get cold…"
EZ leaned on his shoulder.
"A 'friend' of mine may be in over his head," he replied, "and I think that…"
The door opened, and Earnest came in.
"Speaking of which…" muttered EZ.
"Well, EZ," chuckled the Vorse Raider. "Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all, Earnest," answered EZ. "In fact, I wanted to speak to you…"
"Can I get you anything?" asked Sally.
Earnest looked at her.
"Fine, I'll have the cheesesteak," he answered. "But no pickles! I'm allergic to pickles, you got that, Flopsy?"
Sally grunted and went to the kitchen. EZ looked at him in disgust. Currans hated to be called "Flopsy".
"Why don't you insult someone your own size, Ernie?" muttered EZ.
"That certainly would not be you, EZ," chuckled Earnest. "And I heard rumors that you're horning in on my case.
"What do you care about some Blowpiper committing muggings?"
"It isn't a Blowpiper, Earnest," answered EZ. "There's a lot of things that point to a frame up, not naming any names…"
Earnest chuckled.
"So, you think someone is trying to give the Amazons a bad name?" he asked. "Why would someone do that? Let me ask you something EZ, do you know how rumors get started? They start with something small, and turn into things so big, that people get scared.
"For instance, you know the rumor that the Council's Dragon Stand-In is trying to raise money to buy a Polymerization cube so that the three Blue-Eyes can fuse into a new Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon?"
EZ looked at him.
"Yeah, but it's a false rumor," answered EZ. "Even if such a thing were possible, which I doubt, the Lord of Dragons could afford one out of petty cash, but he knows it would start another war."
"Then there's the story about Black Luster Soldier – Envoy of the Beginning," replied Earnest, "a Warrior who can send a monster to the Void with only a thought. The rumor is that Exodia has him locked up in some ultra-secure cell, but there's a doomsday cult trying to set him free so that he'll destroy the Shadow Realm.
"Frightening, but false. The Envoy never existed in the first place. He's only a fairy tale."
"I don't see the comparison, Ernie," snapped EZ. "Someone is trying to give the Amazons a bad name, and I'm going to prove it."
"I'm warning you, EZ," snapped Earnest back, "you're crossing the line. Make me angry, and I might just haul you in!"
"On what charge?" asked EZ, now annoyed.
"How about violation #345-765-AD?" asked Earnest.
EZ paused.
"Wait a minute, that's…" he said, slowly.
"That's right!" answered Earnest. "Impersonating a police officer! You leave this to us, EZ, or you'll regret it…"
EZ didn't answer.
He tossed some money on the table and walked out.
Sally brought the cheesesteak to the table.
"I'm taking that to go!" ordered Earnest.
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Evening descended on the Central Shadow Realm.
EZ sat in his office, pondering.
That "impersonating a police officer" crack had hurt him badly, but it hadn't convinced him to abandon the case…
It was clear that his old "friend" was up to something.
Could Earnest be committing the muggings himself?
EZ shook his head. Earnest was a jerk, but he wasn't that bad a cop. But clearly, someone was telling him to purposely look in the wrong direction… A female monster in a cloak?
As he was thinking this, he heard a tap on his door…
His eyes narrowed…
He slowly went to the door and listened.
This was not a casual visitor…
That, he was pretty sure of.
He slowly opened the door.
As he walked out, no one seemed to be there. He turned to the left…
Fortunately, for him, the light at the bend in the hallway behind him was rather good at casting shadows. If he hadn't seen it, he'd have been dead two seconds later…
The Obnoxious Celtic Guardian dove for cover as the blast from a Sparks gun fired.
EZ was startled, but not for long. He leapt up and pulled his own Sparks gun out of the holster, and ran for the bend in the hallway.
The door to the stairs was thrown open…
EZ smelled the air… He frowned…
He'd know the smell of that cheap aftershave any day…
He rushed down the stairs, and burst out onto the street. He ran a block from the building, towards the train station. If someone was going to try to kill you and failed, he was likely going to try to escape via the fastest possible method.
The train station stairs, were right ahead…
Standing in the glow of the streetlight and catching his breath with his back turned to him was a very nervous Vorse Raider, still holding his Sparks gun.
Earnest spun around and looked at EZ, who was angrily aiming his own weapon.
"EZ!" chuckled Earnest, shakily holding the weapon. "I was, uhm… I was just… looking for the guy who shot at you!"
"That fish is five days old, Ernie, and I'm not buying it!" said EZ with a scowl. "You're more crooked than an Armed Dragon's hide. Now drop it!"
"You got me all wrong, EZ…" sputtered Earnest. "Things just got out of control… I never meant to hurt you… I just…"
"I said drop it!" ordered EZ.
"You wouldn't shoot an… unarmed monster?" asked Earnest, dropping the gun.
EZ was suspicious… He started to walk towards the Beast-Warrior…
And then Earnest turned, and ran down into the train station.
EZ paused. The shot that was fired would likely attract some cops with a better work ethic soon, but he had to catch him before he got on the train… If that happened, he could wind up almost anywhere in the city.
As EZ descended the steps, he realized something… Earnest was NOT unarmed. He still had with him the traditional axe that all Vorse Raiders had.
Almost all Warriors and quite a few Beast-Warriors (and some Monsters of other types) were created with some weapon that could slash, stab, club, and in rare cases, shoot. This item let the monster perform his or her species attack.
Among police officers, there were three main schools of thought.
The first school left their species weapons at home, relying entirely on police-issue weapons (such as the Sparks gun and others), and spell and trap cubes as the need arose.
The second school was the most common. They kept their species weapons handy, while always having police issue weaponry as the first line of defense. EZ had been of that school, and Earnest was the same.
The third school was rare, and was made up mostly of high-ranking police. They shunned technology altogether, relying only on their own abilities and spell and trap cubes. More often than not, these police were powerful monsters who didn't need guns.
EZ knew that even without a gun, Earnest was not a pushover. Most Beast-Warriors weren't cops – they were farmers, like that Nekogal, or other manual laborers. However, they could be savage when they got angry.
EZ got down to the platform, where the train track was in front of him.
He heard the sound of a train coming. He couldn't see Earnest, but he could smell that bad aftershave again.
He reached into his side pouch, and his hand closed around one of his stronger spell cubes…
The next second, Earnest was on him.
He apparently pounced from above, delivering a savage kick to EZ's chest. The Guardian fell over.
Earnest aimed for EZ's head with his axe…
Quickly, EZ activated the spell cube, and a Sword of Deep-Seated appeared in his hand. He parried the blow.
Now just as strong as his opponent, he slowly forced the Beast-Warrior off of him…
And then he made a fierce shove, pushing Earnest back.
The train rushed into the station, and the lights blinked. The doors opened, and a Little Winguard walked out.
He looked curiously at the exchange.
"RUN!" screamed EZ. "Get the police!"
The Little Winguard fled up the stars as the train sped away.
"You know EZ," said Earnest with a scowl, "I always thought it would come to this between us…"
He swung at EZ.
"…but I ain't goin' to jail, EZ!" he shouted. "You're gonna have to kill me before they lock me up!"
"I don't blame you," growled EZ. "I know what they do to dirty cops in prison…"
He made a swipe with his sword across the Vorse Raider's thigh, and Earnest howled.
"Don't like it, do you?" asked EZ. "You bullies are all alike… you really hate to be hurt."
Earnest threw a punch, and his fist hit EZ in the eye.
But EZ could take pain better than this guy…
"ENOUGH!" shouted EZ.
With a powerful swing of his sword, the axe flew from the Vorse Raider's hands.
"You never were a match for me, Earnest…" he growled.
EZ angrily lifted Earnest by the collar, his strength enhanced by the weapon, and then held him over the train tracks…
"There should be another one by momentarily…" said EZ. "You'd best start spilling your guts before I let it spill them all over the tracks…"
Earnest gulped in fear…
"All right, all right!" he sputtered. "I'll sing… I've been being blackmailed… by a… a…"
"Spit it out!" shouted EZ.
"A Vampire Lady!" cried Earnest. "She told me to hassle the Amazons when the muggings started, and just after you left the Red Cent, she told me to kill you…"
"WHY?" demanded EZ.
"I don't know!" protested Earnest. "She said as long as I didn't ask too many questions, and did what I was told I wouldn't get hurt and Gonzap wouldn't know about the things I did… but now…"
"Things you did?" asked EZ. "What have you been doing?"
Earnest sighed.
"Bribes, EZ," he moaned. "From people who wanted me to look the other way. Two years ago, the Dark Ruler wanted to…"
"You were on the take from Ha Des?" shouted EZ. "Earnest, you worthless piece of…"
He pressed the sword to Earnest's neck.
"Mercy, please!" cried Earnest.
"You're just like any bully, Earnest," growled EZ. "You're a big coward when things turn against you. Does this Vampire Lady have a name?"
Before Earnest could even answer, he screamed in pain…
It wasn't because of anything EZ had done.
To EZ's shock, a dart was sticking out of Earnest's neck.
The Vorse Raider went deadweight in his hand. EZ lowered him to the ground.
Aw, crud… he thought.
He looked around to try to find the one who had fired the dart, but failed.
"Hang on, Earnest," he muttered. "The good cops will be here shortly…"
Then he checked for a pulse…
There was none…
Earnest was dead.
And strangely, five minutes later, as a police squad consisting of a Command Knight and three Science Soldiers arrived, the body of his old friend had not shattered…
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EZ couldn't sleep that night. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
The confrontation had ended with Earnest's untimely death, but the way it had happened, two possibilities were likely.
One, the unseen attacker had killed Earnest to silence him.
Two, the unseen attacker had been aiming for EZ, but hit Earnest by accident.
Blackmailed by a Vampire Lady? It didn't exactly made sense. Earnest had admitted that he had taken bribes from the Dark Ruler, but Vampire Ladies didn't work for him…
They worked for… other creatures.
That was the scariest part. If a Vampire Lady was involved, there was the possibility that a Vampire Lord wasn't far behind. There were usually about ten of those guys in the Central Shadow Realm at once, but they weren't a united group – they were fierce rivals. They weren't truly criminals – more like corporate sharks, working the systems of economics, business, and finances to achieve strange goals. Of course, they were very wealthy, and most folks assumed that their business manipulation meant that they were up to no good.
And all of the Lords had one or more "brides". Most of their economic activity went towards pleasing their brides…
EZ chuckled. A common joke among the brass was that the Lords secretly controlled the Shadow Realm, and that the Ladies controlled the Lords. That wasn't likely true, of course, but it was funny.
It was, of course, possible that this Lady's crimes had nothing to do with whatever Lord she was with… They had lives apart from their spouses…
But why did she want to frame the Amazons?
The weirdest part of the whole deal was that Earnest's body had survived. The cops said they would take it to the morgue to figure that part out…
Well, maybe it was time to speak to his old boss again…
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In a part of the Level Four Warrior Quarters closer than EZ thought, a dark figure picked up a phone.
She was a dark beauty, sinister-looking, with pale green skin, dressed in a violet dress with a flimsy train. Her hair was set in an exotic style.
She dialed a number.
"Yeah, it's me," she said. "A few complications getting rid of the Vorse Raider. I had hoped the Warrior would do it, but I had to take him out myself before he blabbed too much…
"Yeah, the jerk mentioned the words 'Vampire Lady', and…"
She paused.
"I see… Yes, I understand…"
She laughed.
"Yeah, I can do that," she chuckled. "I can do it tomorrow night…
"Love ya… bye…"
The Vampire Lady hung up and chuckled to herself. She breathed in the night air… Ah, the night was so invigorating…
She loved what she was doing, and once she was done, she'd be able to laugh in the faces of every other Vampire Lady in the city…
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Then next morning, EZ grabbed a cup of coffee, a donut, and a newspaper from a corner vendor and headed for the train station. His next stop was a pace where he had worked for forty-seven of the fifty-one years of his life, the Central Shadow Realm Police Force HQ.
It was a large building housed in the Council Upper Quarters, and like most buildings, it was bigger in the inside than it looked on the outside. Inside this place could best be described as organized chaos; monsters of all types rushed down the halls and through the rooms with endless reams of paperwork, suspects were herded here and there, and just avoiding being trampled was a challenge.
Not for EZ, however. Having worked in this building for most of his life, he knew all the tricks he needed to know to dodge, duck, and get out of the way fast.
He walked through the halls, and met with no objections – he knew most of the monsters here. His goal was the Mystic Swordsman LV 6 who called himself Gonzap…
A monster who was one of the greatest success stories of the police force.
Inspector Gonzap wasn't created as a Level Six monster. All leveled monsters start out at the lowest evolutionary form. For the Warrior who would one day take the name Gonzap, he was created as a Mystic Swordsman LV 2, a Level Two monster, naturally…
And that meant, basically, he was almost nothing.
The Shadow Realm is cruel to low-level monsters. Mostly, little awaits them but a life that's hard, unkind, and full of poverty. And their lifespans are usually short too…
But to Warriors and Machines, the CSRPD is a beacon of hope if you're low-level. Such monsters can usually find okay employment there. After all, you need to be Level Three or lower to safely operate such Traps as Gravity Bind, or spells like Level Limit Area B, common law enforcement tools. Sure, your hopes of promotion are slim if you're low-level, and your chances of dying young don't decrease much, but at least as a cop, you have job security.
But for leveled monsters, more hope exists. Because if they survive long enough, there's a possibility, with a good deal of luck, that they can evolve to their higher state.
After fifty years on the force, having achieved the rank of patrolman (pretty much the limit you could get if you were Level Two) the Mystic Swordsman evolved into a Mystic Swordsman LV 4. With his evolved form, he became stronger and smarter, and was quickly given a promotion to officer. He did more than his fair share of work, eventually making senior officer, and then sergeant (EZ's rank at the time he left.)
It is rare for a Mystic Swordsman's body to evolve to the Level Six form, but eventually, this one did. Now a very powerful monster, he took the name Gonzap, and was promoted to detective, something that usually only monsters of Level Five or more achieve. After ten years at that rank, Dupin personally promoted him to Inspector, which is rare for anyone.
Gonzap was more sympathetic towards low-level monsters than most folks of his station, since he was once one himself. He certainly remembered his days as a poor and abused Level Two Warrior. No officer working under him would be singled out or neglected simply because he or she was low level.
And right now, he was the way he always was…
...busy.
A Gearfried the Iron Knight came up to him as he rushed down the halls.
"Beetwo, did you find those papers that Thestalos requested?" he asked.
"We're looking for them in the evidence locker," answered the Warrior.
"Well, hurry," he added, "you know how short a temper he has."
A Mataza the Zapper came up.
"Arnine, the weapon inspection still set for Friday?" he asked.
"Actually," said the Warrior, "Dupin changed it to Monday."
Gonzap moaned.
"Why am I always the last to find out these things?" he sighed.
He pushed his way through to where a Chthonian Soldier was writing things down and collecting money from the other officers.
"You," he asked. "You going out for sandwiches?"
The Dark Warrior nodded.
Gonzap handed him a wad of bills.
"Add a ham and Swiss on rye with horseradish to that list."
Sending someone out to get sandwiches was always preferable than eating in the cafeteria, especially on days like today. The menu said meatloaf, and that meant something which likely had little meat and too much loaf.
And then someone tapped him on the shoulder.
Gonzap looked around and saw EZ.
He sighed.
"EZ," he said. "Long time no see, old friend."
"I know," sighed EZ. "Look, I wanted to take a look at Earnest…"
"Might I ask why?" asked Gonzap, picking up a clipboard.
"He was… an old friend, Gonzap," muttered EZ. "I just want a bit of closure."
"You're showing an awful lot of remorse for a guy who tried to kill you, EZ," muttered Gonzap.
He looked at the Guardian.
"Well," he muttered, "it might not be entirely by the book, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt…"
He motioned, and an M-Warrior #1 came over.
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Whenever a monster died, its body usually shattered into thousands of tiny pieces that disintegrated into nothing…
But if steps were quickly taken, such as in the case of a murder, special preservative fluids could save the body for study. That was why a morgue even existed in this building.
EZ didn't like it much here, but then, morgues aren't very pleasant places.
When he went in, he noticed a huge syringe leaning against the corner. Its owner was the coroner on duty.
Injection Fairy Lilys were the coroners of the CSRPD. EZ didn't like dealing with them – doing so meant having to put up with sarcasm and a lot of bad air from these cynical chain smokers. The place already reeked from cigarettes when he entered.
EZ entered as the Spellcaster was checking the latest cadaver that had been brought in.
She looked at him.
"You're here to see the Vorse Raider, right?" she asked. "Let me tell you, this was the most shocking cause of death I recorded since an incident with an Old Vindictive Magician four years ago.
She lit the cigarette in her mouth and went over to a table where a sheet covered Earnest's body.
"It was poison, right?" asked EZ.
"Yeah," answered the Lily. "And since his body was preserved, I suspected Insect poison from the start."
"How come?" asked EZ.
"Well, see, an Insect usually kills its prey with the intention to eat it," said Lily, "which would be hard if the body shattered to pieces. So the venom of most powerful Insects not only kills, but preserves the body, letting the killer eat it at its leisure…
"But it was a poison I had never seen before… I had the forensic boys analyze it…
"It came from a Doom Dozer."
"A Doom Dozer?" asked EZ. "What in blazes?"
"Okay," replied Lily. "Picture if you will, a big arthropod, fifty feet long, with a hundred legs, blood-red scales, huge mandibles, and a temper like something out of Pandemonium, and you've got a pretty good picture of a Doom Dozer."
EZ gulped.
"It's a Level Eight Insect that's even stronger than the Insect Queen," sighed Lily. "The only Insect that's stronger is a Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth. The Insect Queen only keeps these guys from rebelling because she can dominate them with a thought, but…"
"Hold it…" said EZ. "How in Dark World did someone get the venom from a monster like that?"
Lily looked at him.
"Whoever did it likely used something to put it to sleep and then 'milk' it out of its poison glands," she answered.
EZ looked at the body of Earnest.
"I don't think an Amazon could have done that…" he muttered.
"Honey," chuckled Lily, "if an Amazon could walk into the Plant and Insect Living Quarters, sneak past the noses of the Insect Queen and the Green Phantom King, and subdue a Doom Dozer to collect its venom…"
She paused.
"Well, the chances of that happening are about the same as my chances of becoming the next Spellcaster Representative on the Shadow Council."
She took one last drag on her cigarette and crushed it out.
EZ was about to ask if a vampire would have any more luck, but he decided against it.
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As EZ left the morgue, Gonzap was waiting for him.
"EZ," he sighed, "I made you an offer a year ago to give you your old job back. You know, the offer still stands…"
"Sorry…" said EZ.
"EZ, look," stated the Mystic Swordsman. "Let me ask you something. What do you think would have happened if the situation between you and Elfour had been reversed? What if you had been enspelled by that Change of Heart cube, and she had the ability to stop you, but needed to use lethal force?
"What would you have wanted her to do?"
EZ paused.
"Let me add something to that, EZ," he asked. "Say you could have resisted the spell for fifteen seconds, long enough to tell her one sentence before it took over again. What would you have told her to do?"
Gonzap had a point…
What would he have told her to do?
He would have told her to kill him before he could hurt anyone else…
"EZ," said Gonzap, "I'm sure that wherever Elfour is right now, she thinks you made the right decision, and that she doesn't hate you. And I'm sure she doesn't want you to torture yourself over this…
"Please think about it…"
EZ sighed.
But he didn't have time to think about it now…
He was still on a case, and even if his old boss's words had meaning…
…he always finished what he started.
"By the way," said Gonzap, "I didn't think myself that the Amazons were involved either."
"Oh?" asked EZ. "Why?"
"This was not the only case of muggings that seemed to be committed by one group," sighed Gonzap. "Things like this happened in almost every Living Quarter at the same time…
"See, in the Fiend Quarter, victims were found pummeled unconscious and robbed, and pieces of a broken weapon made from bone were found by each one. Sounded a lot like the work of Giant Orcs, except that I found it hard to believe that some of these Fiends could survive being clobbered by an Orc.
"In the Spellcaster Quarter, victims were robbed after being attacked by someone who restrained them with a Shadow Spell. At each scene, we found two sets of footprints side by side. Gemini Elves maybe? Not unless they left those footprints on purpose.
"It was like that in every Quarter, and for some reason, in every investigation, we had some crooked cop handling it who was likely on the take. Earnest is dead now, and the others are going to be investigated thoroughly. We want to find out what's going on.
"These may be little crimes, but they may lead to something big.
EZ looked at him.
"Later, old friend," he said.
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Coming up next:
EZ comes face-to-face with that Vampire Lady, and it won't be pretty. Also, a surprise development by someone you've seen before. Sonja comes back too, lest we forget about her. And more on the strange plot of little crimes that possibly leads to a big one. It's all coming up in "Banisher of the Light", coming soon.
