Rocketing along under the grey clouds and upset sky, Janice was running out of words to curse herself with. It had been easy enough at first, but as the minute or so passed with which she needed to return to the true fray, insults had started to fail her. She cast her gaze around continuously, trying to locate Cedric, or really anyone from any squad.
Someone who was alive, at least.
The bits of body had been rare at first, an arm or leg lying without an owner on a roof or street below her, but as she had neared the epicenter of the conflict, they had started to grow in frequency, so much so that she had needed to avert her gaze. Not due to any nausea over the brutality of it, but due to the growing wonderment of how many of these deaths she could have prevented, had she not been pursuing her own goals. Closing her eyes, she grit her teeth.
I could have at least died for one of them.
"WATCH IT!"
Eyes snapping open, she corrected her course just quickly enough to avoid colliding with Connie Springer, who left a vile curse in his wake, directed at her. She stared after him, before realizing he wasn't alone; dozens of cadets seemed to be shooting along the rooftops, perpendicular to her travels. Feeling a rush of gratitude that it looked as though so many had survived, she changed direction to join their number; casting her gaze around as she streaked along with them, she saw another familiar face and pulled herself alongside him.
"Arlert!"
The blonde turned his head to regard her as though she had briefly become some sort of monster. Then, recognition mixed with the panic already written on his face, a panic that Janice found all too familiar.
"Janice! We thought you had ditched out on us."
Blinking, she glared at him.
"What? Why?"
"Cedric mentioned he had found you off by yourself, doing your own thing. Said that he shouldn't have been surprised, but that you weren't going to be any help."
Feeling frustration mount in her gut that was directed just as much at herself as Cedric, she shook free of her grudging. That could be settled later.
"What's going on?"
"Evacuation went mostly as planned, but we've… lost a lot of people. We're all that's left."
His face, she realized, still reflected the shock of whatever he had witnessed, and she noticed his words were considerably jerky. She then remembered that he was the sole survivor of his squad, and she moved to not let that overwhelm his thoughts.
"So now?"
"We're heading to headquarters, it's our last chance. We don't have the gas nor the numbers to make another attempt at this… "
If possible, his gaze darkened even further.
"… if this fails… we're all done for."
He spoke with a pessimism that she couldn't ever recall hearing in it. During classes, during exercises, during anything, he always spoke with a nervousness, but optimism that she could only assume came from being in such close proximity to Eren for so long. Armin always stood a fair chance of being mocked or ridiculed as one of the weaker cadets, but that had never stopped him from trying his damnedest in everything he did. To hear the grief and defeat echoing in his voice now was almost enough to give Janice real pause.
Almost.
Turning her gaze forward, she scanned as far ahead as she could see.
"Who's leading this, someone with enough skill would have to unless… "
She saw her then, cutting through regular titans as easily if they were the dummies they had spent so many hours practicing on. Mikasa was of course the only one who could have been leading such a desperate charge so successfully. That aside, the movements of the girl ahead of her didn't seem… like her.
"Is she alright?"
Armin didn't reply, and while his eyes were too locked on her, he seemed to be watching her with… anger? That couldn't have been right. Janice opened her mouth to ask again, but as she watched, Mikasa's gas canisters gave an empty, chilling hiss, audible from even that distance and her body went dropping out of sight. She knew then what had happened, why the girl had been fighting so unrestrainedly; she hadn't been planning on surviving. It seemed to be a far stretch to make that conclusion, but Janice had a single point of evidence that directed her to that conclusion.
Mikasa had been fighting like her.
Turning her head to look at Armin, she saw the surprise at what he had seen written on his face, but as they neared the point where she had fallen, he didn't even begin to move in that direction. Not a single cadet had, not one single person had deterred from their path to try and help their fallen leader. She would have been furious, if that had been like her.
"We have to go see if she's okay."
She told herself as much as Armin, confirming her own knowing that she couldn't allow anyone else to die on her watch, at least not without a fight. He swallowed, before nodding mechanically; she wanted to shout at him for his lack of concern, but emotions would get her nowhere. Not even bothering to see if he was following, she banked hard to her right and began to descend towards the alleyway where she guessed that Mikasa had landed.
Just couldn't be anyone else…
Of all the people she had to stick her neck out to try and save, of course it had to be her, the girl who had been naught but a nuisance to Janice since day one of training. Raising the bar for the rest of them, exemplifying the idea of a perfect student, never smiling, never laughing, she would have been a mirror reflection of Janice if she hadn't been so disgustingly perfect. But none of that mattered, none of that deserved to matter; now, she was a soldier, one who was presently vulnerable and who very likely needed help.
That aside… with Eren dead, she may not want saving.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
He knew her.
By this point, Eren had long since ceased remembering much of anything beyond his own unbridled hate, but as he looked down onto the street where the girl stood, roaring at the titan ahead of her, he realized he knew her. She was incredibly familiar, so much so that he stopped moving for the briefest instance to regard her as she stood defiantly with her shattered blade. It was a curious thing, he thought, as he tilted his head; this dream, while seeming as real as any waking moment he had ever experienced, was playing with more than just his perception of reality. It was screwing with his very memory itself.
Is that what it's like to die? You lose your memories?
It was a stupid question, one so stupid that he felt furious with himself for pondering it. Then, his gaze returned forward and he watched the titan stare down at the same girl, disgusting smile stretched across its face. As it reached for her, he remembered what he had been doing for the past several minutes, and stood still for a single second longer, bemused as to why he had stopped. Stomping forward, making sure his feet missed the girl, he drew back and slammed the titan with a fist and sending it to the ground. As it lay there, staring up at him with those unfeeling, unthinking eyes, hate blazed through him once more and he began to stomp on it with every bit of force he could muster. Each hit sent a fresh wave of satisfaction through his form and he found himself wondering, if dying granted him this, why he had never chosen an early death in general.
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Mikasa stared in complete disbelief at what was transpiring in front of her. She had seen the titan in front of her, and she had heard the one behind her, and she had been ready to die fighting either or both of them. Then, she had felt the rush, heard the roar and the one behind her had leapt over her and was presently stomping on every available bit of the other titan it could reach. Its eyes danced with fire, teeth bared in an ever-present snarl, fists clenched like hammers. It was unlike anything she could have ever imagined seeing, and she found herself wondering if she had simply died, and this was nothing more than a fever dream her mind had concocted in its last moments.
"Ackerman, let's move."
A hand wrapped itself around her midsection and began to pull her back; she didn't resist, but she didn't comply either, her attention was far too diverted to give reason to do either.
"Hey, the streets aren't safe! We need to get you to… "
She recognized the voice as it abruptly cut itself off. Janice Robin had never been one to speak up in any case, but during the rare occasion she was called upon in class or otherwise, her low, chilling voice was one to leave an impression, and it was this voice that Mikasa heard now.
"What the fuck… "
There was a pause as Mikasa knew Janice had just noticed the same spectacle that had her so transfixed, though it wore off significantly quicker.
"Alright. C'MON!"
Not willing to wait any longer than she already had, she lifted Mikasa with her free arm and latched onto the building to their right, taking them both up towards the roof.
"Janice!"
Mikasa turned to see Armin running along the rooftop, waving at them; with a slightly clumsy landing due to the added weight, they both touched down next to him.
"Stupid girl, just standing there… "
Janice paced away, cursing flatly under her breath while Armin ran past her.
"Mikasa, are you alright?"
Nodding, she straightened uneasily and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm fine, fairly soft landing."
Within an instant of her reply, he was blubbering madly, words spilling out of him as quickly as he could generate them, and she knew he had wanted to say them before.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't, I wanted to, but I couldn't, he trusted me and I let him down, I let you both down, it should have been me, I didn't want to… "
"Armin."
He cut himself off as she spoke and she put her other hand on his opposite shoulder.
"Eren did what he did, regardless of the outcome. I don't blame you for that, and you shouldn't either."
"I still didn't… "
"Stop. He wouldn't want either of us to act rashly based on what he did."
Janice's voice cracked like a whip behind her.
"Yeah, flying along like you had all the gas in the world, on some damn suicide trip certainly wouldn't qualify."
As it normally was when she spoke, no emotion was evidently raw, but it was still something that jabbed a needle against the back of Mikasa's consciousness. She rotated on her feel slowly to regard the young woman who had saved her. It was like staring at a clone of Annie, albeit one with hair as black as hers and a way with words to involuntarily cause her blood to begin to boil.
"Something you need to say, Robin?"
The girl gave a half-smirk that was laced with derision.
"Just did. Can't imagine why it would have broken you up so much, I doubt Eren would have been one to pursue a relationship with ANYBODY, let alone a girl who follows him like a dog… "
The words were cold and hit Mikasa in the one place that could have triggered her emotions.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
Janice walked by her, shouldering her as she did as she looked off towards the headquarters building.
"Hardly matters if I do, all that does is that you were so hell-bent a moment ago to get yourself killed that you led every single other cadet in a practical suicide charge, with no regard for what would happen to them as long as you went out in a blaze of glory."
She turned her head slightly, black hair echoing the heartlessness of her words.
"Stupid, Ackerman, I would have thought you would put higher regard in your fellow trainees, not just the one whose dick you could never get ahold of."
Armin's eyes flashed with worry as he regarded the two women, eyes locked, one pair glaring, the other flat and challenging.
"Janice, please!"
His words bounced off the invisible barrier between them, and Mikasa could tell Janice was waiting for her to rush her and make it physical.
Why? What does she gain from this?
Her fists were passively clenching and unclenching, but she wasn't going to play into her hand.
"I'll be sure to remember you said that, the next time you ditch your squad and get almost all of them killed."
It wasn't in Mikasa's nature to try and get even, but Janice had poked her in just the wrong place; she resisted smiling herself as the shorter girl's eyes narrowed threateningly.
"Say that again."
"Why? If you need to hear it twice to hear the truth then it's not worth repeating."
She took a step forward and Mikasa readied herself to counter whatever attack was coming, as Armin made to move between the both of them. Then, as though it was a signal from some higher power, there came a thunderous roar from and all three of them instinctively crouched. The titan who had saved her life had let loose with the sound and was now dashing down the street towards a threesome of the monstrous beings, fists raised for the imminent combat; it crashed into them with the force of an earthquake and proceeded to begin tearing them to shreds one by one. Armin spoke what the three of them were surely all thinking.
"What is it DOING?"
"It saved my life."
Mikasa spoke without thinking, even though she knew there was no way to back up her words. Armin and Janice both looked at her with different forms of confusion, the former speaking for the both of them.
"What are you talking about?"
Conflict forgotten, Mikasa straightened and stared at it, while it plowed its way through titans with all the force of a storm.
"We can use it to our advantage."
Janice shook her head in her peripheral.
"You've lost your mind."
She ignored the insult, knowing it would be refuted within minutes.
"It has no interest in us, its sole purpose seems to be killing other titans. We follow in its wake, we have a clear shot to headquarters without encountering any other titans."
"You expect me to just chase after a titan, expecting it won't… "
Ignoring her further, Mikasa turned to Armin.
"One of us can carry you, if you give me your gas. I don't mean to be rude, but the both of us are… "
He nodded fervently.
"Don't think for a second I assumed I was a better titan slayer than either of you."
She returned his nod and they swapped canisters while Janice looked on, bemused.
"You've both lost your mind… "
Mikasa turned to look at her, trying to remain as passive as she could.
"We'll need you if we're going to make it to the headquarters."
Janice stared at her before she swallowed as though it was the most difficult thing she had ever done. Then, she sighed and marched forward, hoisting Armin as easily as though he were a kitten.
"We've ALL lost our mind… "
