I do not frickin own the Haruhi Suzumiya Series! Why would you even think that!?


I never thought it would end up like that. There I was, sitting in class and trying to stay awake, when Suzumiya dumps me. To be honest, I knew we were going to break up anyways. From all those stories I've heard about her, I figured we wouldn't last. I just didn't expect it to be that short.

Taniguchi was the first to annoy me at lunch time. He seemed surprisingly ecstatic over my little event.

"Dude, you didn't even last 5 minutes!" he laughed. "That's a record man! And I thought 15 minutes was bad!"

I wonder who got that one, Taniguchi. Kunikida and Asakura followed him to my table. They also had something to say to this travesty.

"I had no idea you two were dating," Asakura stated happily. Why would you be happy over something as trivial as a break up? And it wasn't really dating.

"I understand that this isn't a laughing matter," said Kunikida.

Well that was thoughtful.

"Afterall, you just got dumped by the strangest girl in the world."

Nevermind. I hate you all.

I turned around and noticed that Haruhi had left her desk. Where could she have gone? Was I that offending to look at?

"Hey, don't try to get her back," interrupted Taniguchi as he put an arm around my shoulder. "She's the type that just forgets the man she leaves." Taniguchi pointed up in insight. "You just can't convince her, my friend."

Does that come from personal experience, Taniguchi?

"Hey!"

Asakura gave me a glance. I felt a shudder slither down my spine for some reason.

"Strange. I was hoping Haruhi would make friends with you," she said, finger on her chin.

Define friends.

"-She's always been alone and won't talk to anyone. At least you got a conversation in. Looks like I don't have to kill you now. She doesn't consider you important enough anymore."

I figured we were just talking about random stuff.

Wait.

I turned to Taniguchi and Kunikida to ask them what they just heard. The two were walking out the door, having a good laugh over something. I looked at Asakura and raised an eyebrow. Surely that was a joke.

"Asakura," I said. "Did you just make a joke?"

She stared at me for a little until she said

"Of course, silly."

Then she giggled and walked away. That girl is strange...

The rest of the day went by rather smoothly. Not only did Suzumiya vent a negative energy into the area but everyone was staring at me. I figured the walk back home would settle me back into reality. The reality that Suzumiya has no feelings for me.

I locked my bike and went inside. I was standing at the door when I was quickly apprehended by the back of my shirt. The world spun around me as I was thrown to the floor. As I regained my sight after the crash course with the floor, I noticed a boy in front of me. He was dressed in a sloppy suit sort of like those yakuzas from the TV shows. He had his hair combed outwards and had a lit cigarette in his mouth.

He reached down and grabbed my neck. He then slammed me into the wall and pinned me there. I was too frightened to fight back. Did my parents take money from gangsters? Is this place in illegal territory? What is going on?!

Before I could do anything, the boy took the cigarette in his free hand. He then said with a smooth tone

"My name is Itsuki Koizumi. You have just paradoxed the future. My kind is on the brink of extinction and you're the cause."

I stared at the boy, who was frowning, and wondered what he was talking about. His kind? What, is he some alien or something? How am I supposed to believe that? Well, I suppose I should start believing or else I'm dead.

"What's going on?" I gasped. The boy glared at me before kneeing me in the stomach. I got the wind knocked out of me, forcing me to my knees.

"Our existence depends on her imagination. If you go and make her consider otherwise, we will fail to be." He kicked me into the wall.

"We espers are now dead because of you!" yelled Koizumi.

As I laid on the floor, I tried to put two and two together. Who was he talking about?

"Asakura?" I coughed. "You psychos would be a good match."

Koizumi stepped on me, keeping me on my back.

"I am talking about Suzumiya-sama," he said.

"What about her?" I grunted as I tried to remove Koizumi's foot from my chest. "She already dumped me. It's finished."

Koizumi picked me up by my collar and held me above the floor.

"Yes," he said in a stressed tone. "It is finished. As am I. And so are you."

For some reason, I was flying into my home with extreme speed. I crashed into my TV and collapsed against the wall. As I strained to stand up, I saw that my front door had been kicked off it's hinges. On the other side of the doorway stood Koizumi, cracking his knuckles.

I grabbed a lamp from the table and threw it at the boy. As it flew, Koizumi pointed at the appliance. It shattered in midair, the glass shards passing the esper. In his hand brewed an orange orb in a sorta shounen manga style.

"Derailed Ambience!" shouted Koizumi as he threw the energy ball at an incredible speed. It was moving fast but my life started going in slow motion. All my life, I denied anything related to cartoons and my favorite graphic novels. How was any of this happening? What the hell is going on?!

The ball stopped inches from my face. I held my breath in case any subtle movements will end my life.

The ball just hovered there in front of my nose.

"You are a little hasty, esper."

Both Koizumi and I looked around the room for the source of the voice. It was female. And friendly.

Asakura?

"Correct, Kyon. I've been ordered to slow down the esper."

I knew I was in a dream. How could she speak through walls and stop this ball of death from hitting me?

Right under Koizumi appeared a friendly looking Asakura. Her upper half had melted through the floor like some sort of phantom. The esper rolled behind my couch as Asakura attempted to slash him with a machete knife. Wait, what?

"Damn. Surprise attack failed," she giggled. As she climbed into the room, Koizumi hopped over the couch with a sai in hand. You know, the weapon that the red ninja turtle has.

Koizumi made the first move: he attempted to stab Asakura in the head as she dragged her lower half through the floor. The girl tumbled away, letting Koizumi's sai stab into the carpet. Asakura quickly spun around and slashed with her machete. Koizumi leaned back, letting the knife pass through the area where his neck was. Using the momentum, Asakura spun on a knee and tried to cut Koizumi's shin. The esper put his foot in front of her slashing arm. His heel stopped the momentum of her arm, halting her in midslash. Taking advantage of the pause, Koizumi stabbed Asakura in her exposed neck. The sai entered one side of her thoat and out her spine.

Asakura was still smiling.

Not taking any chances, Koizumi put his free hand on the girl's chest.

"Second Raid!"

Asakura exploded in an extreme fashion that any normal person would dub as gory. No blood or guts came out though. There was just a shower of glowing liquid which covered Koizumi's clothes.

Koizumi tossed the girl into a wall and followed up with a death ball. The wall blew up, covering Asakura with debris and dust. The esper then turned to me, looking very pissed off.

Asakura teleported in front of the esper. Her left shoulder had been ripped off. It looked as if a shark had taken a chunk out of her.

"I can't let you do this, esper," she giggled.

Koizumi punched through the girl's stomach, his fist sticking through her back. Asakura wrapped her legs around Koizumi's waist and wrapped her arms around his neck. It would've looked romantic if she didn't look half dead.

"I told you I can't let you lay a hand on him," she said happily.

Koizumi grunted and started charging an attack with the hand that's in Asakura.

Something exploded but it wasn't me. In front of me laid my sofa. Half of it at least.

As the two began fighting again, I continued to question my sanity. I was indeed dreaming. I need to see a psychiotrist; this was definitely crazy.

Suddenly, I saw my little sister skip into the room. She stared at the room in wonder. I yelled at her to run away. A death ball crashed into a wall, blowing it to pieces.

My sister ignored it.

Suddenly, the couch reformed and levitated next to my sister. She jumped onto it and reached for the remote. Then she started watching a cartoon.

All this happened while everything was blowing up. My sister just sat there, entertained by the TV show. She completely ignored Asakura's leg landing in front of her.

I looked around and saw that the walls had repaired themselves. Everytime something in the environment broke, it was fixed within seconds.

I then noticed that there was another person in the room. She had purple hair and had glasses on.

"Miss Nagato," said Asakura as her glowing "blood" splattered across my sister, who ignored it and laughed at a joke from the TV. "I'm so glad you came!"

The girl, Nagato, stood there calmly. Great. What does this one do?

"She's here," she said in monotone. Koizumi and Asakura stopped what they were doing (strangling each other) and looked at Nagato.

Our doorbell rang. We all stood still as my sister ran to the door, leaving the TV on. She opened the repaired door.

On the other side stood Haruhi Suzumiya. Koizumi looked scared while Asakura just smiled.

"Hi dare!" yelled my sister.

"Hey there," Haruhi said, smiling to my sister. "I wanted to talk to Kyon. Is he here?"

"No, he's not home yet!"

Nagato pointed at me.

"Are you sure?" asked Suzumiya. "He's right behind you."

My sister turned around and gasped.

"Kwyon! When did you get back?!"

I stared around the room. For the past ten minutes, I had not used my voice. I was simply speechless from all the chaos that had just ensued.

"I, uh, just got back."

"Well, you're fwiend's hewe!" she yelled while pointing rudely towards Suzumiya. She didn't mind though.

"Thanks, sis." I stepped toward the door, trying to keep my head together. As I passed my sister, she yelled at me

"She's reawwy pwetty! You should mawwy her!"

I stopped in my tracks. Suzumiya had turned around all of a sudden. Koizumi was biting his lip. Nagato stared with no emotion. Asakura (parts of her missing) just smiled.

"I'll see you in a few," I replied. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me.

The two of us stood there for a while. Her back was turned to me the whole time. I leaned against my door. It was definitely fixed.

Finally, I decided to say something stupid.

"How do you know where I live?"

Yes, really rude of you Kyon.

"None of your business," Suzumiya replied hastily.

Yes it is my business. This is where I live!

"Kyon."

"Yeah?"

"Have I seen you before? Before we met in this school."

I thought long and hard. Nothing came to mind.

"Not that I know of."

"Oh. Oh well."

Silence again. This time, Suzumiya broke the ice.

"Can you, um, help me tomorrow?"

"With what?"

"Ever since I started school, I've wanted to join a club." She sighed. "So far, nothing's appealed to me."

"I see. Well, you can't like everything. It's just not possible."

"I know. That's why I want you to go with me."

What?

"I'd like a second opinion. So far, you've convinced me that you can use your brain." Suzumiya turned her head towards me. Under her bangs was a slight blush.

"Can we go together?"

What are you saying, Haruhi? I thought we weren't good together. Not that I mind but the fact still bothers me.

"Oh."

Haruhi finally turned to me. Her head was down, her hair covering her face.

"Then...take this as my reconsideration."

I stood there stunned. Standing before me was an incredibly beautiful and talented girl. This whole time, I always judged her as an inconsiderate, spoiled brat. Now though. I never thought she'd stoop down this low, finding something good in someone as "normal" as me.

I love being humble.

"I'd love to," I said. Instantly, Haruhi looked up at me. Her blush had increased tremendously, knocking her down from strikingly beautiful to unbareably adorable.

Her face then went pale.

"Oh my god! What happened to you?!" she yelled.

I realized my clothes were tattered and dirty. I also had scratches on my elbow and cheek. Dang, I need to give her a reasonable excuse. I don't think she would buy getting mugged by an esper who was then attacked by our psycho classmate.

"I tripped. A lot."

Haruhi put her hands on her hips.

"You dummy! You have to watch where you're going!"

She bought it. I don't know if I should be glad that she didn't think much of it or disappointed that she actually thinks I'm that clumsy.

"Well! Clean up and rest! We got a big day tomorrow!"

As she skipped away, I noticed that she just had a huge mood swing. Not wanting to dwelve over woman mechanics, I walked back into my room.

My sister was watching the cartoon alone. I decided to join her.

It was just a hallucination. I hope.

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Yes! Finally a chapter with substance. Hope this one caught you guys by surprise the whole way through.

Kyon has to follow Haruhi as she chooses a club of her liking. What will happen to Kyon? Another surprise attack from Koizumi? Or yet another Haruhi adventure?

Stay tuned to The Reconsideration of Haruhi Suzumiya!