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Holding On To Love
Interlude I : A Letter For Yuki

The Honke was a picture of quietness and solemnity during the last months of spring after Tohru's funeral and Akito's long sickness. The jyuunishi circle members have all decided to stay at the honke, for in their grief they grew closer together, especially Tohru's friends were also invited to stay with them so Hana, Uo and Megumi stayed in the guest rooms of the main house while each member occupied their own houses. Akito had decreed that the Cat be part of the original 12, no longer prosecuted for no fault of its own, Kyo was finally inside the family no longer an outcast. He also decreed that even though Tohru was not Sohma, her things be preserved and be kept in her own special room in the main house, which was renamed as Tohru's Room. This decision eased the sadness al of them were feeling.

Kyo is currently staying with Yuki while his house used to be prison was remodeled as his home in the honke. Amazingly it took the death of their best friend to make the cat and the rat closer together they don't argue much anymore it seems the fire of competition has gone out. Each of them were locked within their own world of grief caused by Tohru's death. Remembering the helplessness and the sorrow they had all felt. Each one was juts moving like automations trying to cope with everyday life that was suddenly full of shades of grey .

Yuki the one who was most affected of them all was alone in Tohru's Room, was clutching one of the tearstained letters that Tohru wrote. The kind words she had written finally tore the rat's mask of created aloofness away. He had spent his days, weeks in reading and rereading the letter trying to find the reasons in order to understand why, why this has happened to them, to her. The words smudged with constant tears read:

Dear Yuki-kun,

I'm sorry that my actions had to cause you and the others pain but my death will solve at least some of my family's burdens, coz I consider the kind Sohma family as my own family since Yuki-kun and Shigure-san welcomed me in their home when I was orphaned and alone, then the addition of Kyo, Momiji, Kisa, Momiji, Haru and the others. Since I was accepted and trusted with the secret of family curse I have wanted to lighten the sorrows that was caused by it. I wanted to provide comfort even in my own small ways by providing good meals to strengthen the Jyuunishi's bodies and promote their good health, hugs (even If you transform on me) when they are needed for I know that it's a comfort to be held in loving arms, or by listening to your sorrows even when I can't give any good advice. It made me happy when Kureno and Akito finally became my friends, accepted me and my best friends Hana, Uo and Megumi and we all promised to be together always.

But then Akito's sickness worsened I couldn't bear to have anyone in what I consider as my family claimed by death too early too soon, I was thankful in meeting someone from the Sohma's who gave me the secret cure to your curse when Hana and Megumi could no longer help in the situation.

Believe me Yuki when I say that I didn't want to leave any of you, especially you, Yuki but my heart is telling me that if I don't take this one chance presented to me to at least save all of you from the death which ever looms nearer then I would regret it. I didn't want to live in shame of regret Yuki or my mother's disappointment, So please understand that's why I took this once in a lifetime chance.

I think I didn't have any purpose in my life, I never even dreamed for myself it was my mother's dream for me that kept me going and finally succeeding in graduating high school with you and Kyo. I was given new purpose that day when I accidentally discovered your family's secret, which made concrete the friendships with all of you. Even with the threat of having my memories erased didn't make me afraid, but Akito's sickness made me afraid Yuki, I realized that my purpose was not to protect you and the others while you were in your animal forms or keep the curse a secret.

I think, but I don't pretend to be smart, I've found my purpose it was to meet and love everyone of you and at least catalyze the cure for the curse, start the ball rolling as Shigure-san would say. And maybe my reward would be to meet mother again. . I would like that very much. Heaven must be a wonderful place Yuki, Although I think I will be a little bit lonely and bored their without the crazy Haru, sarcastic Hiro, kind Kyo, brash Uo, mysterious Hana, silent Megumi, cool Rin, sweet Kisa, wise Hatori, happy Shigure, exuberant Ayame, witty Kagura, patient Ritsu, selfless Akito, altruistic Kureno, cheerful Momiji, and most especially princely Yuki. I'll miss you all so much.

So in order for me to very happy please promise me this Yuki live your lives to the fullest never regret my death, don't blame any of yourselves coz it wasn't your fault I choice to do this deed of my own free will. So please honor me by remember our happy times together. And help each other always. .

Yuki, I realized while writing this letter, I never told you that I was thankful for the kindness you have given me and that I love you in a different way than I love the others. I regret that I never told you that I had fallen in love with you that day in your garden. Yuki remember always your are never alone and that I love you so. . .

Love with all of my heart,

Tohru

Yuki carefully folds the letter and embraces it to his chest, the only thing of hers that he can touch anymore. . Slowly as tears fall down a solitary gentle smile lights up his face while softly said: "I love you too Tohru very much. . ."

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ROAD

I traveled alone the lonely roads of life Chosen by my own will and desire Then you came into my life And made living it worthwhile

The road I traveled was rough and harsh But your presence made it smoother Through all the years that we've been together The laughter and tears we shared, what colorful days

You've accepted me as I am Even if you've seen me at my worst With your caring heart and gentle hands You've cured the longing and sadness in my heart

Those caring hands healed everything it touched The spirit refreshed, the body renewed Be it by word or by deed A healer at heart with wings of white

So now you're in the verge of a new voyage The same path that we traveled has now diverged So go now gentle spirit spread wide your wings Fly high until you've reached your star

And for us who where left behind The memory of White wings in flight Be forever etched in our minds As my tireless feet resume it's journey

Without your guiding voice and hands Though the road maybe full of rocks and thorns The occasional roses and rainbows to be found along the way make it worth traveling on So gentle spirit give me courage and strength in traveling my own road

The passing of the years may soon heal the pain Time's passage will make the branched paths ones again But till our paths meet again someday I'll travel my road my own way. . .

Reviews: Alaskantiger: This seems like it's going to be a really good story. I can't wait to read more!! :)

CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl: ~cries~ POOR TOHRU! POOR UO! POOR HANA! POOR MEGUMI! POOR SOHMAS!

Replies: Thanks to Alaskantiger for reading my 1st chapter, Ureshiii!!! Don't worry CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl my chapters are not all sad I'll try to tone down the angst. And again thanks for reading. Chapter 1 will be coming soon it's still in progress so here's an Interlude to wet your appetites. The poem displayed above is my own written work and is also displayed at FictionPress.com under my penname Raine-B1280 -Raine-Marauder