A/n: 9-07: For history, we have to do a presentation about time. I was gonna do We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel, but one night I was lying in bed, singing Wicked songs to myself. (Tehe.) Anyway, I was almost asleep when it hit me- For Good! It's a song about friendship, which is about the past... I know it's a stretch, but my teacher said it was ok, so... wish me luck!!
3-08: Got a hundred on it!! (Though that was a long time ago, sorry.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked. Bah.
Chapter 3
Galinda: Dearest Darlingest Momsie and Popsicle...
Elphaba: (sounding a lot like Galinda) I like Popsicles!
Authoress and Galinda: O.O (that's a face with big eyes, if you can't tell)
Elphaba: Ummm... No I don't?
Authoress and Galinda: (breathes sigh of relief)
Elphaba: (turns away and eats cherry Popsicle) I didn't mean that... I'll always love Popsicles... (sees grape Popsicle) MINE!!! (dives after it)
Authoress: Umm...
Elphaba: I'm back! (ahem) My dear-
Authoress: (cough-STEP-cough)
Elphaba: Grape Popsicle... I mean, Father...
Galinda and Elphaba: We've been stuck living with our mortal enemies here at Shiz!!
Elphaba: Yes, Frex, it's a "z", not a "t".
(Again, think about it...)
Elphaba: But, of course, I'll care for Nessa, for fear that if I don't, I'd incur your ever-lasting wrath.
Galinda: But, of course, I'll gossip about her at every chance I get.
Elphaba and Galinda: Cause I know that's how you'd want me to respond! There's been some confusion, for you see my roommate is...
Elphaba: A prep!! NOOOOOO!!!
Galinda: Green... and UNPOPULAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I GONNA LIVE????!!!! I think I need to have a belief right about now...
(Everyone looks at Frex, who is sleeping in a chair offstage)
Galinda: I said, I think I NEED to have a BELIEF right about now...
Frex: (still sleeping)
Galinda: Oh, screw it.
(Galinda and Elphaba throw down letters)
Elphaba: (stomping on letter) TAKE THAT FREX!!! AND THAT!! AND THAT!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHA!!! HA!!
Galinda: What is this feeling, so sudden and new?
Elphaba: I felt the moment I laid eyes on your hideous dyed-blonde hair.
Galinda: My pulse is rushing...
Elphaba: My head is reeling...
Galinda: Why? Are you fishing?
Elphaba: What??
Galinda: You said your head was reeling. You know, like you reel in fish?
Elphaba and Authoress: ...
Authoress: It's a saying, you idiot.
Galinda: Oh! (ahem) My face is flushing!
Elphaba and Galinda: Oh, what is this feeling? Fervid as a flame...
Elphaba: (to Galinda) Do you even know what "Fervid" means?
Galinda: Yeah!! It means... ummm... well, Fer... fer... Fur!! And then, vid... as in "video"! Fervid means a video about fur! (pause) A video about fur as a flame... Oh I get it!
Authoress, Elphaba, anyone who ever reads this: (confused)
Galinda: That's confusified.
Authoress, Elphaba, anyone who ever reads this: (confusified)
Galinda: (doing hair flip) I guess I'm just too smart... (sees bubble) OOH!! BUBBLE!! MINE!!! (runs after bubble)
Authoress: Deja Vu...
(Galinda walks back, crying)
Galinda: The bubble popped!
Elphaba: (ignoring her tears) Do you mean "fur" or "Fur"?
Galinda: There's a difference?
Elphaba: Yes! One's from animals, and the other from Animals.
Galinda: Oh, animals and Animals.
Elphaba: (breathing sigh of relief) Yes, animals and Animals.
Galinda: Yeah, Animal fur is more expensive, but I like it better cuz it's softer and all.
(Elphaba tries to beat up Galinda)
Galinda: Gak!
(Authoress pulls them apart. Hands Galinda a bubble blower and Elphaba a Popsicle)
Galinda and Elphaba: Yay!!
(Ten minutes later)
Authoress: Start the song already!!
Elphaba and Galinda: (ahem) Uh.. what is this feeling? blah blah blah...Fervid... uh... Does it have a name? Yeah-ESSSSSSSSS!!
Gelphie Shippers: (crossing fingers) Love. Love. Love.
Galinda and Elphaba: Loa-
Gelphie Shippers: YES!!! THANK YOU KUMBRIC WITCH!!
Frex: (seeing massive amounts of Gelphie Shippers) I'm not even gonna try.
Elphaba and Galinda: -thing, unadulterated loathing.
Gelphie Shippers: Goshdarnit!!
Galinda: For your ugly green face.
Elphaba: Your ridiculously high voice capacities.
Galinda: Your potato sacks, I mean, clothing.
Galinda and Elphaba: Let's just say, I loathe it all! Ev'ry-
Authoress: Aww, that reminds me of a Christmas carol...
Frex: (Chasing Authoress around) It's the Unnamed God!!!!!!!!!!!
40 Years Later:
Authoress: Finally, I'm back!
Elphaba: What took you so long?
Authoress: Your dad has a lot of energy in him.
Frex: (using a walker really slowly, sounding like Homer's dad from the Simpson's) I'll get you...
Elphaba: Yeah, well, no one writes Wicked fanfics anymore.
Authoress: WHAT??!! WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS??!! (pulls out Time-Turner and starts to flip it) One... two... three...
Twenty Minutes Later:
Authoress: Fifty six...fifty seven...fifty eight...
3 Hours Later:
Authoress: Three hundred eighty four... three hundred eighty five... three hundred eighty six...
After An Undetermined Amount Of Time Because I Really, Really Don't Feel Like Doing the Exact Math, But It's Safe To Say That It Was A Long Time:
Authoress: Now that that fiasco's over...
(Shizians enter)
Shizians: Dear Galinda you are just too good! How do you stand it,-
Authoress: Yet again, just because she's green doesn't mean she's an"it". She's "her". Duh-ness.
Shizians: I don't think I could!
Authoress: Umm... what's with the random italicized parts??
Shizians: She's a terror, she's a tartar sauce-
Elphaba: I'm tarter sauce??!!
Shizians: Yeah, that's what we said... (ahem) We don't mean to show a bias, but Galinda you're a martyr!!!
Frex: Really? A martyr?
Shizians: Yep.
Authoress: You know, a martyr is a person who dies for his and/or her faith.
Shizians: OK, you try and find something that rhymes with Tartar!
Authoress: Barter. Garter. Smarter.
Shizians: Hmm... She's a terror, she's a tartar, we don't mean to show a bias, but Galinda you're much smarter... Hey, it could work.
Authoress: Except for the fact that it's not true!!!
Galinda: Well, (yet again hitting a ridiculously high note) these things are sent to try us!
(Breaks glass Elphaba is holding)
Elphaba: (Holding sharp glass, grinning) Oh Ga-lin-da... (Chases Galinda around room)
Shizians: Poor Galinda-
Galinda: Ahh!!!!
Shizians: (Just standing there,singing) forced to reside-
Galinda: (still being chased by evil maniacal Elphaba) Help me!! Help meeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elphaba: Mwahahaha!! (evil witch crackle)
Galinda: (Stops running)
Shizians: (stop singing)
Authoress: What was that??!!
Elphaba: Uh, my evil witch crackle.
Authoress: You know you're not evil, right?
Elphaba: We all have to let it out sometime. Why not on my mortal enemy?
English Teacher: That's the spirit!
Shizians: Can we PLEASE finish this song? (ahem) With someone so disgustisified, we just want to tell you, we're all on your side!! We share your loathing-
Galinda and Elphaba: What is this feeling, so sudden and new?
Shizians: Unadulterated loathing.
Elphaba: I felt the moment I laid eyes on you.
Shizians: For her face, her voice, her clothing.
Galinda: (totally lost) Uhh...ummm... La la, la la, you'll be popular...
Elphaba: My pulse is rushing-
Shizians: Let's just say-
Galinda: Just not quite as popular-
Elphaba: My head is reeling-
Shizians: We loathe it all!
Elphaba: Oh what is this feeling?
Galinda: As MEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shizians: Ev'ry little trait however small,
Elphaba: Does it have a name?
Shizians: Makes my flesh begin to crawl.
Shizians and Elphaba: Yea-ESSS!
(Lots of people appear randomly)
Authoress: Umm... definitely didn't write that...
Snape: (To Harry's dad) Loathing! There's a strange exhilaration...
Harry: (to Malfoy) In such total detestation!
Voldemort: (To Harry) It's so pure, so strong!
Authoress: Why are you here?
Elphaba: (really mad) MY FANFIC!! MINE!!
Authoress: Technically mine.
Elphaba: Whatever.
Frex: (to Elphaba) And though I do admit it came on fast...
English Teacher: (to Authoress) Still I do believe that it will last!
Authoress: What??!! Are you kidding me??!! SAVE ME!!!!!!
English Teacher: (to Authoress) And I will be loathing for-forever...
Ron: (to Krum) Loathing, truly deeply...
All the people who were singing above: LOATHING YOU!!!
Elphaba and Galinda: My whole life long!
Authoress: Do do do do-do-do do-do...
Elphaba: Boo!
Galinda: Ahhh!! Oh my Oz!! (starts crying) Why me, why'd she have to scare me?
Elphaba: (feeling bad)
Authoress: No! You hate her, remember?
Elphaba: Oh yeah! (Chases Galinda with broken glass again)
Authoress: Oh my... (sees Popsicle) Mmm... Cherry, my favorite! (takes Popsicle)
Elphaba: YOU STOLE MY POPSICLE!! NOW DIE!! (Beats up Authoress)
Authoress: Gak!
A/n: Yeah, I know that was bad. I'm sorry! But I can't wait til Dancing Through Life, I have sooo much stuff planned for that chapter! And I'm sorry it took so long- I had to read my summer reading in the one week we got back from vacation. (It is not fun to read the Aeneid and the Odyssey in one week. Fortunately, I had already read the Iliad.) AND I had a six hour soccer camp everyday, so... it was tough. I won't be updating as often now, b/c it's soccer season and school had started and I get home around 6:30 on a good day. Tehe.
Speaking of school, guess who left? Remember Evil Teacher of Doom from my profile? Yep, she left!
I couldn't be happier, because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true.
Well, isn't it?
3/08- Soccer's been over, the Odyssey wasn't that bad, and it's track season now. McKent forever!
-Yorkie Lover
